Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job. Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever. Double the excitement. Triple the laughs. Paintbrush illustrations. This is... Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

    Now, limbs terminally akimbo, Teddy’s body lies in a pool of blood in Jessup Quadrangle. And at the center of the investigation at the prestigious New Jersey Military Academy is young Donald.Surely blame for Teddy’s accidental death should not rest with him, Donald reasons. But how? Can people be convinced that Teddy took his own life? Can suspicion be cast on Stanley Wong, the Academy’s only Asian cadet? And with Teddy gone, who can Donald enlist to help him avoid blame?From New York real-estate moguls to Hong Kong triad bosses, Donald’s web of lies soon spins further than he could have ever imagined.

    Her formerly chaotic life seems to be settling down, until a peaceful walk in the woods leads Symphony and Toby to the reclusive cabin of Caleb Showalter, who knows more about her past than he’s telling.When an old friend resurfaces and expresses his affection, Symphony warily longs for love, and it is Toby that nudges her toward pursuing a reconnection. But when violence strikes at the hands of her possessive boyfriend, Symphony’s trust is shattered once again.Just when Symphony’s faith in humanity seems lost, Toby is injured in the woods, and she has no choice but to reach out to Caleb for help. Together, they face their fears and lost trust head-on. If they can save Toby, they might be able to let go of the past and to believe in the goodness of others—and themselves—once again.

    Does the occasional female tourist ever sleepover? Sure. But that’s nothing compared to PJ’s scorecard. PJ should be registered with the Center for Disease Control.Warm water, cold beers and no Shawna—life couldn’t be better on the island. Until George takes a little road trip to Colombia. Raúl, his boss at the bar, offered him a free ride. He always knew Raúl moved a little bit of cocaine. Who doesn’t? But guns?So… he absolutely should not write Shawna. That clever soul-crushing beauty destroyed him. Maybe it would be OK if she came for just a week? Just one week...

    . . THE LEGEND BEGINS When the Ridgeway family staked their claim on more than 40,000 acres of land in northwest Texas, they knew they had their work cut out for them. Located on a sharp bend of the treacherous Red River, their new home—the Rocking R Ranch—was just a stone’s throw away from Indian territory. It was as lawless and wild as the West itself, crawling with unsavory characters, cattle rustlers, horse thieves, outlaws, robbers, and worse. But still, the Ridgeways were determined to make the Rocking R a success—and a home—for their four remarkable children: Percy, Eli, Abigail, and Rachel. This is their story. Together, the Ridgeways could endure anything. Floods, tornadoes, Commanche raids in the dead of night. But when one of their own is kidnapped . . . that’s when all hell breaks loose. This is their story. The story of the American West.

    Combining his trademark humor with an acute eye for the ridiculous, Mark admits his part in bands like The Berlin Airlift, the life-changing punk revolution in Bob Sleigh and The Crestas, and even a flirtation with thirty-something pub rock. Interwoven with the musical disasters is the appealing rites-of-passage story of a middle-class grammar school boy who finally leaves Bolton for university. Splattered with memorable episodes and Viz-like characters, Showbusiness retraces the steps that should have led Mark to headlining Wembley Arena, but which took him to Radio 1 instead.

    We compare our life with the snapshots of happy faces posted on social media and feel terrible about our situation—often hopeless. What if we can live our lives, not defined by the trappings of this world, but by discovering contentment in the simple things and in what we are given?In this modern-day Book of Job, Andy sits at the bottom of life’s pecking order. Working as a honey-dipper (a septic truck driver) and living in a single-wide trailer in small-town Montana, Andy longs for love and a better life. His only solace is found on the wild side of the river amongst the ponderosa and bull trout.But when Andy is granted all that he desires, the peace he once found in his simple existence, and the serenity of dipping a dry fly into the Blackfoot River evaporates. A family secret that seems like a cruel betrayal emerges as a great blessing in disguise.The Book of Andy is for everyone who feels that life has beat them down…for anyone who prays for a breakthrough. Fans of Walter Mitty, A River Runs Through It, and Forrest Gump will enjoy this humorous family saga of finding faith, love, and contentment.

    In this book, Grizzard turns his attention to his mother, and to all mothers, casting a loving, comic eye toward the most important and defining relationship of all.

    Meanwhile, Daisy, his precocious twelve-year-old daughter, has recently garnered a substantial following for her new blog, documenting surreptitious “social experiments” performed on her unaware family. When Daisy’s blogging activities are outed, Jack decides to leverage his daughter’s popularity with American youth to communicate the greed and hypocrisy inherent in the corporate professions of many parents. Inspired by her father’s rants, the popularity of Daisy’s blog soars, resulting in an unlikely sequence of events that ultimately has a very positive impact on way that people treat each other in American society.

     It was supposed to be a place where every child’s favorite characters came to life. And, it was, until those characters went nuts and started killing everyone. Then it wasn’t so happy. Ten years later Jake and his team of robot reclamation specialists are heading to the island theme park to confront the evil machines, discover Kat’s connection to the disaster and boost the flagging ratings on their reality show, Scrappers. Fearless Monkeynauts, overly friendly Bearberry Bears, feuding Presidents, Dinosty Warriors, fairy tale legends and more populate the abandoned park and only the Junkers are brave enough, or dumb enough, to go for a visit. Join Jake, Hailey, Kat, Savant, Mason and, of course, Glitch as they try to uncover the mystery of what they call The Tragic Kingdom.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

    Regardless of religion, race, sex, sexuality or nationality. He hates all of you. Basically, you are fucked." God is pissed off. He has run out of patience with humans and decided that our time is over. We've had our chance and its back to the drawing board. "Fuck the lot of them" is his newest gospel. Mo, and Jay, best Friends who've fucked up in the past, beg him for one more chance to get the humans back on track. Alongside Mr Saluzar, the head of a global charity foundation, and Nick, The Fallen Angel, they hurtle towards Armageddon and their one chance to prove God wrong. They have seven days to save us. On The Seventh Day contains strong language and religious irreverence which some may find offensive. Irreverent dark humour from the author of Lanarkshire Strays and the dEaDINBURGH series.

    doctor must save her daughter from a genetically modified filovirus as the nation fights for access to healthcare. When she's not working in the Emergency Department at George Washington University Hospital, Dr. Sara Sullivan lives an adventurous life. But the chance at another vacation seems to diminish with each passing day when the dangerous Labrador virus begins spreading throughout the capital, devastating the African American population and escalating racial tension. As a biracial woman, Sara begins to fear for her and her daughter's lives when mortality rates continue to grow, with no cure in sight. After being forced into quarantine due to exposure to the virus, her fear becomes reality. Escape is no longer a consideration—it's the only way she can save millions of lives, including her daughter's. Sara's journey to find a cure becomes increasingly complex as she begins to unravel a conspiracy within the pharmaceutical industry and learns the disturbing truth about the disease's purpose.

    He thinks Mount Sinai Hospital is an exclusive golf course and his catheter is a gym bag. His only link to reality is his thirty-five-year-old nephew, who makes his living as a hired gun for thirteen softball teams and still goes by the name College Boy.But College Boy's body has begun to betray him -- almost as much as his lack of ambition. (His only legitimate paycheck comes from a gig as a laugher on a morning radio show.) Not only that, the Dirt King, a small-time gangster who controls all the replacement soil in Central Park, is after College Boy. As their lives collide, College Boy takes refuge in the arms of Sheila -- his uncle's cleaning woman and a part-time call girl.And then it gets weird.