Monster-sized. You try to address Dracula's hygiene issues. And don't even get me started on the Phantom of the Opera. Really, just read this book.

    And unlike dogs, cats offer humans no practical benefit. The truth is they are sadly incompetent mouse-catchers and now pose a threat to many ecosystems. Yet, we love them still.Content:Catacombs Cat's cradle What's the catch? The cats that ate the canaries The cat lobby CAT scan Pandora's litter box Lions and toygers and lykoi Nine likes.

    From the sandy roads of Ancient Egypt to the shopping bag left on the kitchen counter, felines have always embraced their curiosity.With a lot of history comes a lot of personality. Charming, capricious free verse from author John Spray pairs brilliantly with the striking art of celebrated illustrator Mies van Hout in this delightful tribute to cats.

    From icons like Confucius, Marie Curie, and Henry David Thoreau, to Presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Calvin Coolidge, to contemporary notables like Ira Glass, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Neil Gaiman---their words are turned into sometimes heartwarming, sometimes sobering stories by cartoonist Gavin Aung Than. Be inspired, motivated, educated, and laugh as you read famous words as never before!

    Cat Mojo is the confidence that cats exhibit when they are at ease in their environment and in touch with their natural instincts--to hunt, catch, kill, eat, groom, and sleep. Problems such as litter box avoidance and aggression arise when cats lack this confidence. Jackson Galaxy's number one piece of advice to his clients is to help their cats harness their mojo. This book is his most comprehensive guide yet to cat behavior and basic cat care, rooted in understanding cats better. From getting kittens off to the right start socially, to taking care of cats in their senior years, and everything in between, this book addresses the head-to-toe physical and emotional needs of cats--whether related to grooming, nutrition, play, or stress-free trips to the vet.

    While Julia is in the kitchen learning to master delicious French dishes, the only feast Minette is truly interested in is that of fresh mouse! This lively story is complete with an author’s note, a bibliography, and actual quotations from Julia Child and comes just in time for the 100th anniversary of her birth. Praise for Minette's Feast �Foodie parents who love cats will love to read this delightful book to their kids.” —The Atlantic �This charming portrait...” —Publishers Weekly "A delectable tale about Julia Child discovering her culinary calling in Paris...This book is a charmer to share aloud with young people who enjoy a well-paced story and with cat lovers and food lovers of any age." —Horn Book "A charming picture book." —The New York Times Sunday Book Review "Amy Bates uses pencil and watercolor to crate artwork that is as playful as Minette the cat." —Library Media ConnectionSTARRED REVIEWS �A fine recipe for pleasure: Julia Child, the culinary arts, Paris and a lucky cat. Magnifique!” —Kirkus Reviews, starred review "Bates’ illustrations work marvelously well with this charming conceit." —Booklist, starred review "Reich's internal rhymes make the proceedings feel festive, while her overall prose conveys Julia's seriousness of purpose. The smooth flow of her narrative belies the impressive amount of research she undertook to relate actual conversations and events...Discover: A delectable banquet that charts Julia Child's culinary progress through the eyes of her cat, Minette." —Shelf Awareness, starred review   �...feast for the senses” —School Library Journal, starred reviewAward Cooperative Children’s Book Center (CCBC) Choices 2013 list - Picture Book

    Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal TV shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues (“Martin Luther King, Jr’s Worst Speech Ever”) to intentionally bad theater (“Hitler Dinner Party: A Play”); from avant-garde fiction (“Obituary for the Creator of Madlibs”) to free-verse poetry that's funnier and more powerful than the work of Calvin Trillin, Jewel, and Robert Louis Stevenson combined.Odenkirk's debut resembles nothing so much as a hilarious new sketch comedy show that’s exclusively available as a streaming video for your mind. As Odenkirk himself writes in “The Second Coming of Jesus and Lazarus,” it is a book “to be read aloud to yourself in the voice of Bob Newhart.”

    With a bright, positive outlook and a sense of humor, Super Chill tells a story that is both highly relatable and intensely personal.

    So he decides to take over: He dons his sparkly suit, jumps on his Harley, and roars off into the night. But it turns out delivering Easter eggs is hard work. And it doesn't leave much time for naps (of which Cat has taken five--no, seven). So when a pooped-out Easter Bunny shows up, and with a treat for Cat, what will Cat do? His surprise solution will be stylish, smart, and even--yes--kind.

    In this unique interpretation of the classic song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” Don Daily has us singing along spiritedly with a bevy of animal critters! From juggling polar bears to dancing pigs, this carol comes to life and will be a constant page turner year after year.

    But Moshe didn’t mind. Everything he heard was music to his ears. One day, while out for a walk, he heard a small, sad sound that he’d never heard before. It was a tiny kitten! "Come on, little Ketzel," Moshe said, "I will take you home and we will make beautiful music together." And they did—in a most surprising way. Inspired by a true story, Lesléa Newman and Amy June Bates craft an engaging tale of a creative man and the beloved cat who brings unexpected sweet notes his way.

      Cats are the ultimate savants, possessing intelligence, poise, and sass in equal measure. They know when to play it cool, and when to pounce; when to fly solo, and when to cuddle up. Entertaining, unpredictable, and just a bit wild, cats encourage us to explore, take chances, and live on the edge—just as if we too had nine lives. Cynthia L. Copeland, author of the bestselling Really Important Stuff My Dog Has Taught Me and Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me, now turns her attention to our mysterious feline friends. Every page of this full-color gift book is a joyful reminder of what’s important in life. Like Confidence: “Insist on a seat at the table.” Curiosity: “Have more questions than answers.” Adventure: “Sometimes you have to leap before you look.” Individuality: “You’ll be remembered for what sets you apart.” Kindness: “Recognize the power of your purr.” And Solitude: “Find your own square of sunshine.”

    For The Secret Lives of Men and Women, Warren has selected a never-before-seen collection of postcards bearing the explosive confessions and captivating revelations of men and women everywhere. Created using photographs, collages, illustrations, and more, the handmade cards offer a compelling dialogue on some of today’s most provocative topics—from marriage and infidelity, to parenting, office politics, repressed fantasies, and even abortion—daring us to consider how well we really know our friends, family, even ourselves.

    Cakewrecks.com receives over 4.6 million page views per month and is ranked one of the top humor blogs on the web.Award-winning blogger Jen Yates has focused on confectionery calamities at her popular Web site www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com since May 2008, while her debut book, Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong, quickly climbed the charts to become a New York Times best-seller within weeks of its release. Now, Yates is back with Wreck the Halls, a fresh mix of fan favorites and plenty of never-before-seen holiday wreckage. From thankless Thanksgiving turkeys and confusing Christmas conundrums, to less-than-happy Hanukkah horrors and New Year's meltdowns, Wreck the Halls has an icing-smeared disaster for every occasion. With additional chapters on Black Friday, family communication, and navigating the murky waters of politically correct cake greetings ("Winter!"), Wreck the Halls combines Yates's signature blend of wit and sarcasm with the most hilarious frosting fails this side of winter solstice. Find sweet relief from the holiday madness (not to mention plenty of laughs) with Wreck the Halls.

    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.