How to Stay Bitter Through the Happiest Times of Your Life
Anita Liberty - 2006
But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.
Alpana Pours: About Being a Woman, Loving Wine Having Great Relationships
Alpana Singh - 2006
Since American women purchase and consume more wine than American men, 77% and 60% respectively, a voice is needed to help women understand that their busy professional and social lifestyles can be well paired with wine. Master Sommelier and successful television host Alpana Singh, twenty-nine, happens to be just the person who can help them do it.Alpana Singh is uniquely qualified to talk about wine, contemporary women and relationships. At age twenty-six she became the youngest woman to be inducted into the world’s most exclusive sommelier organization, the hundred-and-twenty-member Court of Master Sommeliers. She spent five years as sommelier at a world famous four star restaurant, Everest of Chicago. While there she closely observed the sometimes humorous, sometimes absurd, social interactions between men and woman at all stages of their relationships. Her mental journal of these “social observations” came in handy as she wrote her first book, Alpana Pours.Alpana Pours reaches readers in playful language they will understand, and in a highly entertaining manner they will enjoy. Women want to know how to select wine when entertaining important clients, pair wine with food they and their partner are preparing together, choose the right wines for hostess gifts, bridal showers, a first meeting with a boyfriend’s parents and what wine to, or not to, order on a first date. Alpana Pours supplies tips on these and a myriad of other topics including “dating” and “dealing with guys.” The book’s gender riff on wine and lifestyle is unique and will definitely grab reader’s attention.
The Best of Dave Barry
Dave Barry - 1992
There's no such thing as too many laughs! Dave Barry's quirky take on American life will shed new light on popular culture.
Paul Auster: Moon Palace
Wolfgang Hallet - 2008
In an exemplary interpretation of the novel, this volume integrates theoretical concepts from narrotology, visual culture and cultural history into a close reading of the aesthetic and structural features of the novel. Interpretative insight into a postmodern novel is thus combined with the provision of transferable conceptual knowledge.
Festival Man
Geoff Berner - 2013
Follow the flailing escapades of maverick music manager Campbell Ouiniette at the Calgary Folk Festival, as he leaves a trail of empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts, bruised egos, and obliterated relationships behind him. His top headlining act has abandoned him for the Big Time. In a fit of self-delusion or pure genius (or perhaps a bit of both), Ouiniette devises an intricate scam, a last hurrah in an attempt to redeem himself in the eyes of his girlfriend, the music industry, and the rest of the world. He reveals his path of destruction in his own transparently self-justifying, explosive, profane words, with digressions into the Edmonton hardcore punk rock scene, the Yugoslavian Civil War, and other epicentres of chaos.
Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan: Taking the Field with Pro Athletes and Olympic Legends to Answer Sports Fans' Burning Questions
Todd Gallagher - 2007
But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends. Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for all: • Could an average guy start in the WNBA?• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid? • How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others. But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.
100 Bigfoot Nights: A Chilling True Story
Christine Dela Parker - 2014
Accompanied by video, photographs, and audio evidence, the story is written in Christine’s own words as it unfolds. According to the Bigfoot investigator they contacted, “They aren’t going anywhere.” As the world gets more crowded with us, “They” are left with less and less habitat. They have learned to live in the shadows and pass through the forests by our homes. After reading this book just ask yourself, what would you do if this happened to you? This story is not embellished or fictionalized. It is a series of true events interpreted and told from the author's point of view.
Of Mice and Me
Mishka Shubaly - 2014
He had a beautiful new girlfriend and sudden prosperity as an author. But when he adopts an orphaned infant mouse, his world is turned on its head. The mouse comes to symbolize everything left unresolved in his life — his relationship with his divorced parents, his fear of family and commitment, and his inability to feel true happiness and love. By turns hilarious and moving, Mishka Shubaly’s latest Kindle Single captures the journey we all take in life — from being loved, to giving love. Cover by Adil Dara.
Lummox: The Evolution of a Man
Mike Magnuson - 2002
When a mysterious phantom enters his life, he sets himself on a quest to discover the true meaning of lummoxness, and what he learns along the way is both shocking and hilarious.Written with honesty and selfeffacing wry humor, Lummox is an exceptional story of manhood at a time of its redefinition, a book that will leave you laughing out loud in recognition and cheering for lummoxes everywhere.
Daditude: The Joys & Absurdities of Modern Fatherhood
Chris Erskine - 2018
And that's exactly the way he likes it, except when he doesn't. Every week in the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune (and now and then in many other papers), Erskine distills, mocks, and makes us laugh at the absurdities of suburban fatherhood. And now, he's gathered the very best of these witty and wise essays—and invited his kids (and maybe even Posh) to annotate them with updated commentary, which they promise won't be too snarky. This handsome book is the perfect gift for the father who would have everything—if he hadn't already given it all to his kids.
Sez Who? Sez Me
Mike Royko - 1982
More than a decade's worth of essays by the Pulitzer Prize winning syndicated columnist capture the essence of big city American life, from neighborhood taverns to backroom politics.
The Book of Ratings: Opinions, Grades, and Assessments of Everything Worth Thinking about
Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg - 2002
Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.
Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear
Ingrid Reinke - 2013
Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear is a hilarious new Kindle Single from Award-Winning and Amazon Best-Selling author and humorist Ingrid Reinke.On the cold January day when Ingrid Reinke turned 30, she looked back upon the last decade of her life in deep thought before finally shaking her head and mumbling to herself the following insight: "Wow, what a shit show."So, she sat down, braless and alone, and penned a collection of laugh-out-loud essays about the ridiculous, shocking and occasionally horrifying things that happen to us as we ungracefully age from 20 to 30, try, semi-successfully, to leave our clueless years behind and become mature, responsible grown-up women.From weird hairs to boob sweat, OCD to weddings, Twirty-Something swings between a no-holds-barred conversation and a cautionary tale about aging and all the crap that comes along with it.Sometime instruction manual, sometime commiseration partner, get ready for Reinke's honest and occasionally potty-mouthed accounts of this tumultuous decade.So hike up your yoga pants, plop another ice cube in your Pinot Grigio and get ready to laugh at the author, young women in general, and most of all at yourself.