Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    Lansdale’s most enduring fictional creations: Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. The result is a spare, beautifully crafted novella in which Lansdale’s unique voice and inimitable narrative gifts are on full—and generous—display. The story begins simply enough when the two agree to provide protection for a woman harassed by her violent, soon-to-be-ex husband. But, as readers of this series will already know, events in the lives of Hap and Leonard rarely stay simple for long. When a protracted stakeout ends in a lethal shooting and a pair of moldering corpses turn up in an otherwise deserted trailer, the nature of this “routine” assignment changes dramatically. The ensuing investigation unearths a complex web of lies, duplicity, and hidden agendas that leads from an upscale Texas law firm to the world of organized crime, culminating in the kind of explosive, anything-can-happen confrontation that only Joe Lansdale could create. Violent, profane, and often raucously funny, Dead Aim is a tautly written, hugely entertaining thriller and a triumph of the storyteller’s art.

     When a mysterious invite arrives in the mail and Father Menchu responds by whisking Sal off to Lichtenstein, the former cop is left on very new ground as she gets more than a glimpse at the broader world of magic users. Unfortunately, they are immediately confronted by a wealthy business man who is less upset about them blowing up his boat two episodes ago, as he is about them stealing his (sludge-demon releasing) book. When the three remaining Team members back in Rome suddenly find themselves under attack, Sal and Menchu are left scrambling for how to help and have to turn to the peculiar techno-cultists whose computers run on seahorses and have a pointed interest in the cop sister of their acquaintance Perry. Welcome to the Market Arcanum. This episode is brought to you by team-writer Margaret Dunlap who shows us that the Society is far from the only fish in the magic-hunting sea—and certainly isn’t the biggest. "Bookburners is sheer enormous fun! Energetic, intense, vivid prose. More soon please." --Naomi Novik, author of Uprooted and the New York Times bestselling Temeraire series "Bookburners is the breathless, hallucinogenic love child of Torchwood, the Librarians, and the Laundry Files. More soon, please." --Ian Tregillis, author of The Mechanical and Bitter Seeds "Bookburners is an exciting new take on urban fantasy. Love the premise, love the characters, love the unique (and sometimes wonderfully disturbing) spin on the dangers of magic!" --Cassandra Rose Clarke, author of The Assassins Curse "Bookburners has everything I want from episodic storytelling - strong writing, a rich premise, and memorable characters that will keep me coming back week after week." --Mike Underwood, author of the Ree Reyes Geekomancy series "Bookburners satisfies my craving for pulpy, demonic chaos with sharp writing, deliciously sinister magic, stellar black humor, and a kick-ass cast. The serialized story perfectly suits a sorcerer’s codex of baddies while the plucky Sal digs for deeper truths in her work with the Black Archives squad." --Lindsay Smith, author of the Sekret Series

    This tome will show his Ultramarines how to deal with any tactical situation, no matter the foe. But as the Horus Heresy reaches Ultramar, Captain Ventanus of the “Troublesome Fourth” must test the strictures of the Codex Astartes against the one foe that the primarch never expected: other Space Marines.A short story from the Age of Darkness anthology.

    Its discovery throws into question everything we know about the origins of mankind. Inside lies incredible technology, proof of a culture far more advanced than our own. Something dark lurks within, eager to resume a war as old as mankind. When it is unleashed it heralds the end of our species’ reign. A plague of werewolves spreads across the world. A sunspot larger than anything in recorded history begins to grow. Yet both pale in comparison to the true threat, the evil the werewolves were created to fight. "It's like Indiana Jones went through the Stargate and ended up in Aliens versus Predator." - One of the author's totally biased friends. This collection gathers No Such Thing As Werewolves, No Mere Zombie, Vampires Don't Sparkle, and The Great Pack. It's over 1,500 pages!

    The stories have a point: they remind us that courage and clear-thinking in the midst of great danger go hand in hand and are the keys to survival. Not only is cowardice disgraceful, it is frequently lethal. Includes: Triumph of the Boon; The Boy Stood on the Burning Deck; Dr Blanke's First Command; Counterpunch; USS Cornucopia; December 6th; Rendezvous.

    So after hearing of her daughter-in-law's sudden death, Delilah decides that coming to the rescue of her long-estranged son, Jessie, and her granddaughter, Tamara, would be a good look.  .  .though Lord knows she'll have to dig hard to find her maternal instincts.But Delilah quickly discovers Jessie wants nothing to do with her. And Tamara, who's following in Delilah's musical footsteps, isn't interested in her career advice, especially since Delilah got ahead using the singing couch. And Delilah's old flame, Deacon Pillar, an ex-convict who's traded in his gangster ways for a Bible, is stirring up a past that's sure to shock..."Hilarious faith-based romp.  .  .Walker shines a little light on a wacky family reunion with her usual inspirational, knee-slapping style." --Publishers Weekly "A comic novel about mistakes and second chances." --Library Journal

    It also involves a Japanese society that’s been called one of the most distinctive on Earth. If there were a Japanese version of Captain America, this would be his origin story.

    . . It is a period steeped in cinematic lore. Rebel filmmaker George Lucas, striking from a base in Northern California, won a tremendous box office victory against all odds with Star Wars, his sci-fi spectacular.During the ensuing craze, MAD's "Usual Gang of Idiots" managed to steal a few laughs at the movie's expense, soon discovering that Star Wars was the ultimate pop culture punching bag.Pursuing each Star Wars film's release with more mockery, the MAD men spent the next three decades making a farce of the Force and spreading mirth across the galaxy.Now, in this special edition volume, you'll chuckle as the Star Wars saga's greatest moments are mocked by such MAD greats as Dick DeBartolo, Mort Drucker, Don Martin, and Sergio Aragones; smirk as the striking similarities between the space battles created by Industrial Light & Magic and by the "Usual Gang of Idiots" are revealed; hum along to the unforgettable Star Wars musical, as penned by MAD's master lyricist, Frank Jacobs; gasp at the startling insights into R2-D2's love life; and marvel at the real reason why Lucas's lawyers never sued MAD.And that's just the beginning. . . .So, pick up this book and see why, when Star Wars gets the MAD treatment . . . Sith happens! It is your destiny.

    This is the book you want stapled to your chest when you march into the battle of authorship!” – Karina Cooper, author of BLOOD OF THE WICKED“Chuck Wendig hammers out writing and career advice that's always brave, profane, creative, clever, and honest. And don't forget hilarious. You'll never laugh so hard learning so much." – Matt Forbeck, game designer and author of AMORTALS and VEGAS KNIGHTS.It’s time once more for a grim and greasy descent into the penmonkey’s world as Chuck Wendig offers up a gonzo NSFW look at what life is like as a writer.REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY takes writers through their paces and karate-chops them in the trachea with a no-holds-barred drill sergeant approach to a writing career. Wendig -- equal parts novelist, game designer, screenwriter and all-around freelance penmonkey – gives a candid and hilarious look at what it takes to survive as a modern day inkslinger.Features 30 essays such as:“How To Tell If You’re A Writer”“How To Jumpstart A Stalled Novel”“Panster Versus Plotter”“Six Signs You’re Not Ready To Be A Professional Writer”“Why Writers Drink”“Word-Karate: On Writing Action Scenes”“Writers Should Be Motherf**king Rock Stars” Are you ready to go big and go bold? Are you ready to bleed on the page for your work? Then gaze into the unblinking eye of REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY, a book of humorous writer-focused essays and articles of booze-soaked, profanity-brined writing advice.* * *At terribleminds.com, Chuck Wendig dispenses nuggets (okay, more like outright manifestos) of writing advice on a daily basis, and the site has been named one of the Top 101 Websites For Writers of 2011 by WRITER’S DIGEST.

    It was lust at first sight, and Rhapsody isn't going to let young Malcolm leave her presence without a promise to fulfill her fantasy.Malcolm had no idea when he accepted Rhapsody's invitation to her bedroom that he was selling his soul to the devil. Malcolm thinks he can bed Rhapsody and simply walk away, but she is not one to settle for a one night stand. Rhapsody goes to desperate measures to keep her cub extremely close to her. Gifting Malcolm a very expensive SUV, filling his belly with home cooked meals and funding a trip to Cancun are just a few of the tactics that Rhapsody uses to ensure that Malcolm spends his nights in her bed and no one else's. However, when Rhapsody finds a mysterious package on her doorstep containing proof of Malcolm's betrayal and deception, she seeks revenge and seals her own fate.

    R. MartinFitz has succeeded in rescuing Prince Dutiful from the clutches of the Piebald rebels, and has returned with him to Buckkeep castle. With Dutiful safe again, Queen Kettricken can proceed with plans to marry him to the Outislander princess, Elliania.However, with tensions building among the peoples of the Six Duchies over Kettricken’s tolerance of the Wittted, even Buckkeep is no longer safe. A reluctant Fitz is assigned to protect the young prince, and also train him in the Skill, and in doing so he finally makes contact not only with his estranged daughter, Nettle, but with someone in Buckkeep who may possess a greater Skill talent even than Fitz. And who may represent a terrible threat to the Farseers.Continue the adventure with books two and three of Robin Hobb’s enchanting Tawny Man Trilogy.Bundle includes The Golden Fool (book two) and The Fool’s Fate (book three).

    Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    He's just an ordinary guy living an ordinary life...until alien invaders attack the Earth, and all of humanity's costumed champions go down fighting. By chance, Matt falls heir to their powers, but how can a fake hero save the world when the real ones have already failed? To find out, he begins a quest through a post-apocalyptic world where alien horrors and human supervillains battle for dominion.The Impostor is an exciting new series by veteran fantasy and horror writer Richard Lee Byers, the author of over thirty novels and a frequent contributor to the Forgotten Realms universe. This volume contains Matt's first four adventures: "Suiting Up," "The Enemy of My Enemy," "The Trade," and "Adaptation." Also included is the bonus story "Vets."