How May I Offend You Today?: Rants and Revelations from a Not-So-Proper Southern Lady


Susannah B. Lewis - 2020
    Lewis (creator of  Whoa! Susannah ) is back with another hilarious take on what so many people are thinking but are afraid to say aloud.Hear Susannah’s hot takes on everyday topics such as:Public displays of affectionT shirts with indecent imagesAnd of course… politicsMillions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners rants about her pet peeves in everyday life. Now, in How May I Offend You Today?, Lewis turns her trademark humor to ordinary events that work her nerves--from people who wear t-shirts with indecent images to public displays of affection in the plumbing aisle of Lowe's--while keeping a wry eye on herself and her own temptation to vent grievances "like a teenage girl in overalls and Birkenstocks."Weaving together anecdotes from her distinctly Southern life with frequent references to the Bible, what she calls "our manual for living," Lewis says what many of us have thought, and in the process encourages us to stand firm in our views. The witty-yet-down-to-earth banter and uplifting, inspirational message of How May I Offend You Today? gives readers everywhere the boost necessary to make it through even their most trying days.

Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats: A new collection of irreverence.


David Thorne - 2018
    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

Letter to Louis


Alison White - 2018
    I've never quite known how to explain what our daily life is like. I wanted to write how it is in order to give others a greater understanding of disability and caring. And to be totally honest, I wanted to write something that would make people consider being Louis's friend.So here is me introducing you: Louis, this is your story. Readers, this is my son.

The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure


Jack Handey - 2013
    The Stench of Honolulu Are you a fan of books in which famous tourist destinations are repurposed as unlivable hellholes for no particular reason? Read on! Jack Handey's exotic tale is full of laugh-out-loud twists and unforgettable characters whose names escape me right now. A reliably unreliable narrator and his friend, who is some other guy, need to get out of town. They have a taste for adventure, so they pay a visit to a relic of bygone days-a travel agent-and discover an old treasure map. She might have been a witch, by the way. Our heroes soon embark on a quest for the Golden Monkey, which takes them into the mysterious and stinky foreign land of Honolulu. There, they meet untold dangers, confront strange natives, kill and eat Turtle People, kill some other things and people, eat another thing, and discover the ruins of ancient civilizations. As our narrator says, "The ruins were impressive. But like so many civilizations, they forgot the rule that might have saved them: Don't let vines grow all over you."

Bitter Blood: Kasem v Kasem


AYR Media - 2021
    But many don’t know the saga of Kasem’s oldest children and second wife. In 2014, Kasem is dying, and about to leave behind an estate worth up to $100 million. His family goes to war, with both sides accusing the other of going after his money and killing the man who changed American radio. But this battle is only the climax of a tragic and dramatic family feud that began decades before. Bitter Blood: Kasem V Kasem is an exclusive look at what really happened inside this famous family and what drove them to the brink, told through exclusive interviews and archival audio materials.

My Dad's Funnier Than Your Dad: Growing Up with Tim Conway in the Funniest House in America


Kelly Conway - 2021
    Kelly Conway allows readers an intimate look at a supremely American childhood, from the studios of Television City in Los Angeles to the Midwestern pleasures of her mom and dad's home towns. My Dad's Funnier Than Your Dad is her love letter to her father and mother, as well as an account of the warm, laugh-filled world in which she spent her childhood. The book portrays a Cheaper by the Dozen-style upbringing, when she and her five younger brothers spent their lives playing together within a protective cocoon of affection and love. Her dad acted as the ringmaster of their circus. What kind of dad builds his kids a go-cart track in the backyard of his Encino residence by himself, himself, not hiring a crew of professionals to do it? How about a dad that circles the block when his kids go away for our first day in grade school, fretting and fussing that we're okay away from home? What can you say about a famous father who lived not for his celebrity but kept himself firmly grounded in family? While not all puppy dogs and rainbows--the Conways divorced when the author was seventeen--this is nevertheless warm-hearted memoir of a man who was as funny off the set as on.

The Paradise Gig (Key West Capers Book 15)


Laurence Shames - 2020
    FICTION: Poolside at their motel, the Fab Four fell into conversation with a snappy-dressing local named Bert the Shirt, who listened as the band worked out a harmony to the most beautiful song he’d ever heard--and wouldn’t hear again for over half a century. FACT: That night, the Beatles played an unannounced free concert in the motel bar. Everyone was welcome. Local musicians showed up with guitars and keyboards, and had the once-in-a-lifetime experience of jamming with the Beatles till 4 am. This legendary event has forever after been known to Key West locals as THE PARADISE GIG.FICTION: Next day, hung over and exhausted, the Beatles left for the airport, having somehow lost a stained and battered notebook that held a priceless stash of unrecorded songs. NOW CUT TO THE PRESENT: A beautiful woman is doing a yoga headstand on a Key West beach when she’s abducted by a pair of thugs. An aspiring young singer is offered a recording deal that seems a bit too good to be true. Bad things happen to a couple of one-hit wonders…And old Bert hears a new song that is hauntingly familiar, but that he can’t quite place.Could it possibly be the same song he’d heard at poolside so many years before? Could it be that all the present mayhem circles back through the decades to THE PARADISE GIG? Could the precious, even sacred, Beatles notebook possibly turn up after all these years? Could Bert be the hero who would rediscover that stash of unheard songs for music lovers everywhere—and save a young singer’s life in the process? With Nacho, his intrepid Chihuahua, at his side, and with no one but bumbling detective Pete Amsterdam for an ally, the undaunted Bert the Shirt sets out through the Florida haze to piece it all together, learning along the way how much the world has changed—and how much it has not. In equal parts suspenseful and nostalgic, funny and romantic, this time-bending caper celebrates the power of music and the many tricks of memory, the joys of youth and the comforts of age, and the free and funky spirit of Key West.

Funny Quotes: 560 Humorous Sayings that Will Keep You Laughing Even After Reading Them


Saeed Sikiru - 2014
     So waste no more time, scroll up this page and order the the ebook right now.

Text Fails From Mum


Your Mum - 2016
    Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

Sorry Charlie Miller


Tanner Cohen - 2021
    On the case are Mark Green (Zachary Quinto), a deskbound police department employee with an encyclopedic knowledge of celebrity gossip, and Tiana Jones (Michelle Buteau), his no-nonsense colleague. After Mark and Tiana pose as detectives to find Charlie, the case gains national media attention, and the two quickly find themselves in a firestorm of basic bitches, gun-toting bookies, and cutthroat momagers. Sorry Charlie Miller is a TikTok-era mystery with twists, turns, and a whole lot of questionable fashion choices. It takes place in Florida, hello.

It's Not Me, It's Them: Confessions of a hopeless modern romantic


Joel Dommett - 2018
    It's impossible not to be bowled over by the ending. Most definitely my favourite celebrity memoir in a long time. Brilliant.' - THE SUN**The hilarious debut from I'm A Celeb star Joel Dommett (Live at the Apollo, 8 Out of 10 Cats, Impractical Jokers), for fans of Joe Lycett, James Acaster and Sarah Millican**As a 17-year-old virgin working . . . for Virgin, Joel Dommett has grand ambitions. Firstly, he is going to swap suburbia for the bright lights of Showbiz. Secondly, he is going to find 'the one' in the first forty people he's going to sleep with.What follows is a series of disastrous romantic encounters, including carpets mistaken for toilets, futile grand gestures and the catfishing to end all catfishing.Featuring genuine teenage diary entries and told in Joel's trademark self-deprecating style, this is the brilliant first book from the UK's most exciting comedian.

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life


Geoff Tibballs - 2011
    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

Holding On: Impulses to Leave and Strategies to Stay


S. Michael Wilcox - 2021
    

A Short Drink of Water


Mara Altman - 2021
    Telling a tall tale. Placing a tall order. Tall, dark, and handsome. And, of course, let’s not forget the proverbial “tall drink of water”. This bothers Mara Altman, and not only because she’s five-foot-zero, but also because her experience as a journalist, humorist, and essayist has led her to challenge assumptions about human existence. Altman’s most recent book, Gross Anatomy: Dispatches from the Front (and Back), was a 2019 finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and wittily dissected long-held assumptions about our bodies for the deeper truth. Her conclusion: There is greatness in our grossness.In her Audible Original A Short Drink of Water, Altman challenges the assumption that taller is better. Her journey to empower those at the short end of the stick (and why is it always the short end?) delivers a hilarious and heartfelt look at the differences between tall and short and how people seek to narrow them both physically and psychologically. You’ll meet people of every size and opinion in this deeply reported and richly comical ride through a world where every inch counts.