(Can supply own time travel machine if required.)When Horace Tweed places an advertisement in a national magazine, the last thing he expects is to be commissioned to travel back through time in search of the long extinct Holey* Snail.But this isn’t just any old snail. The helix pertusa is possessed of an extraordinary and highly desirable property, and Horace’s quest leads him and his co-adventurers to Ancient Greece and a variety of near-death encounters with beings both mythological and not so mythological.Meanwhile, Detective Chief Inspector Harper Collins has her hands full trying to track down a secret order of fundamentalist monks whom she suspects of committing a series of murders – the same monks who are determined to thwart Horace in his... ...Quest for the Holey Snail. (* This isn’t a spelling mistake. The Holey Snail is so called because there are hundreds of tiny holes all over its shell.)PLEASE NOTE: Quest for the Holey Snail is not part of Rob Johnson’s Lifting the Lid series.

    To take stock of WHERE HE IS and WHERE HE'S AT in order to figure out how BEST to get the MOST out of what he BELIEVES are the BEST YEARS yet to come.His typically positive and upbeat journey involves ONE HUNDRED DAYS of contemplation, research, focus, frustration and DECISION MAKING while SECRETLY:*Training for The London MARATHON*Bringing back his cult Nineties TV show TFI FRIDAY*And the small matter of suddenly being asked to take over TOP GEAR.HEALTH, LOVE, MARRIAGE, SEX, DEATH and even RELIGION all come under his witty microscope as he poses the conundrum - MIDLIFE: CRISIS vs OPPORTUNITY ?There can only be one winner.

    His first mission: save a gazillion lives. When young Kevin has a chance encounter with a dying alien, he discovers not only that humans aren't alone in the universe, but that this encounter propels him into the middle of an intergalactic war. Now at the frontlines of a massive, far far away war, he’s sent to the last remaining ship of the losing side. The crew of the ship? All dead. His mission is simple: he must save the good guys from certain doom. From College reject to War Master, Kevin learns he must adapt quickly or billions will die.

    In Secrets and Lies, Sam gives us the truth about life in the spotlight.Finally turning her back on all the TOWIE jealousies and dramas, Sam lays bare her fellow cast members and describes what really goes on behind the scenes. She also reveals all on her dramatic on-off relationship with Joey Essex: the engagements and bust-ups, that infamous 'slap', what really happened when Joey was in I'm a Celebrity, and their doomed rekindled romance.For the first time she talks about her eating issues, as well as her success as a businesswoman, her excitement and sister Billie's pregnancy and the birth of baby Nelly, and her wish to settle down herself. Funny, charming, telling it like it is, Secrets and Lies is essential reading for fans of Sam and TOWIE.

    Andy Seed's memoir is sure to charm fans of Jack Sheffield and Gervase Phinn's nostalgic style. 'Heart-warming and hilarious' - Daily Mail Dear Mr Seed, I am sorry that are Jack was not at school yesterday. He put on such a groth spurt in the night that nun of his clowthes fitted im next morning so I had to take him to the shops. Mrs R.Twenty-five years ago, newly qualified teacher Andy Seed moved to a remote village in the Yorkshire Dales with his wife Barbara, anticipating breath-taking views and the gentle simplicity of the countryside.The picturesque scenery did not disappoint. But life as a primary school teacher was anything but simple. With a classroom full of colourful characters whose capacity for misunderstanding was exceeded only by their enthusiasm and their ability to leave him incredulous, Andy fell in love with teaching and with village life.All Teachers Great and Small tells the true story of Andy's first year at Cragthwaite Primary School - how he bravely negotiated the vagaries of the local dialect, made disastrous bids to provide a family home, naively and hilariously tried out new-fangled ideas in a school stuck in a 1950s time warp, and ultimately discovered a little part of England he was proud to call home.What readers are saying about All Teachers Great and Small:'I howled with laughter on many occasions reading this book - it's a treasure!''Andy Seed brings the Dales to life with his memorable stories about rural school life in the 1980s. I loved this book''This book spoke to me on so many levels. It really is a jolly good read, and written with love and enthusiasm'

    In a career spanning forty years, Barry has worked alongside the greatest producers and performers in show business: Tommy Cooper, Humphrey Lyttelton, Morecambe and Wise, Willie Rushton, Peter Cook, Kenny Everett, Rory Bremner to name but a few - this book is a veritable Who's Who of comedy.From humble beginnings at the Windmill Theatre and Expresso Bongo, to The Frost Report, Call My Bluff and I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue, Barry recalls the good, the bad, and the downright ugly in his own inimitable style.'Barry Cryer ...an anecdote jukebox whose whole life is basically one big chatshow.'Guardian

    It's to do with bikes. They're everywhere. And so are their riders. Some of these riders seem to be sporting sideburns and a few of them are winning things. Big things. Now Ned wants to know how on earth it came to this. And what, exactly is 'this'.In On the Road Bike, Ned Boulting asks how Britain became so obsessed with cycling. Ned's search puts him in contact with some of the wonderful and wonderfully idiosyncratic people who have contributed to this nation's two-wheeled history. It's a journey that takes him from the velodrome at Herne Hill to the Tour of Britain at Stoke-on-Trent via Bradley Wiggins, Chris Boardman, David Millar (and David's mum), Ken Livingstone, both Tommy Godwins, Gary Kemp (yes, him from Spandau Ballet) and many, many more. The result is an amusing and personal exploration of the austere, nutty soul of British cycling.

    Flames of Chaos spread, swallowing up all they can with horrific hunger, bringing pain and madness to all they cross. Across the ocean, the lands have long since begun to die. The Empire of mankind struggles to maintain against the pressing weight of drought, famine, and the long-standing dangers of the Eastern Mountains, where ancient Dwarven [Constructs] and monsters roam. The people whisper of a coming doom, and some say even the Emperor's own Seers claim the end has begun... But none of these things have anything to do with a Tiny Snake. Not in the slightest. ------ From the online web-serial, comes a story of reincarnation, comedy, and the winding path towards existential redemption: All Hail The Tiny Snake God!

    In 1789 a small band of Indians attacked the Wiley cabin and killed Jennie’s three older children and her brother. Jennie was taken captive along with her baby son.Quickly the Indians and their captives moved westward into what is now Kentucky. Jennie’s only hope for herself and her child was to keep pace with her captors. The Indians moved northwest into the Big Sandy Valley of Kentucky. Unable to cross the flooded Ohio River, they retreated to a series of winter camps in present-day Carter, Lawrence and Johnson (Kentucky) Counties.With only a rock bluff for shelter Jennie spent the winter laboring as a slave. After almost a year in captivity Jennie escaped, miraculously evading pursuit as she made her way to a small settlement at Harman’s Station on John’s Creek where settlers helped her return to her husband.The author Arville Wheeler was inspired to write this book because his grandmother told him the story of Jennie Wiley when he was a child.

    He found what he was looking for...and a lot more!A moose got its head stuck in Torry's window. A reindeer was trapped in his kitchen. A bear almost prevented him from reaching his airplane. He once woke up frozen to his cabin floor.Like the Israelites of old, Torry experienced plenty of miracles and mishaps in the wilderness. And like them, he came face-to-face with God and was changed forever.Each of these true stories of Torry's hilarious blunders and misfortunes contains a nugget of truth, but one theme prevails: If God can reclaim and repurpose Torry Martin's life, He can do the same for you and those you love.

    Now, at the age of eighty-one, he wonders what he should pass on to the next generation. In Where There’s a Will, Mortimer ponders this question and writes about the (nonmaterial) things he believes enrich our experience of life. From the pleasures of drink and outdoor sex (though not necessarily together) to the justification of the odd lie and a vision of God as the Grand Perhaps, Where There’s a Will is Mortimer’s witty and wise, occasionally outrageous, and always thought-provoking examination of what it means to truly live and live well.

    'I have several young busty blondes, Derek,' Ruth sang like the weathergirl. 'One is a very sexy Danish girl, just back from a skiing trip, five-foot-five, long wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, twenty-five years old. A fantastic figure: thirty-six, twenty-five, thirty-five. Or I have a more demure, very pretty, young strawberry blonde Australian, Derek. She's nineteen ...' When her acting career stalls, Merridy Eastman lands a challenging role: night receptionist at a Sydney brothel. A long way from the bright lights of a TV studio, she is swept into the high drama of the sex industry. This former Play School presenter learns words for items and acts she never imagined, she opens the door to first-timers, old hands, couples and the occasional celebrity. But the place she spends every moment she can is the kitchen table, having a cup of tea and discussing investment portfolios, and life's many great mysteries, with Sapphire, Shelby, Antoinette and Bree - the women who make a living from having sex with strangers. And then, in this most unlikely of places, she finds herself falling in love ... There's a Bear in There (and he wants Swedish) is a funny, fascinating and true account of a forbidden world.

    Now she’s back − a return less anticipated than a Browns’ Super Bowl win − to help her mom out of a funk. Sam heard it was bad, but now Mom's blowing off bingo? Sam begins to suspect that her mom’s depression may not be all it appears, but she gets side-tracked when her investigator brother Paul tosses her into a case. They’re on the hunt for a client’s missing wife, Tracy. Sam discovers she has an old connection to Tracy, but will that help Sam find her, or will it land her in a trap she can’t escape? Shadowing Sam in her hunt is Johnny Rosato, a warmer complication from her past. Sam's emotions are mixed, but her lower half has a strong opinion. An ancient and unfinished crush, a secretive mother, an aiding and abetting best friend, a hot cop, a salacious uncle, and a living garden gnome all compete to distract Sam as she stumbles down a distorted path. Can she find Tracy? And will childhood ties suck her back in for good?

    World War II is a full-blown nightmare for the survivors of the initial attack. American forces have been pushed to the brink and have been forced toward the center of the country in a frenzied bid to regroup and strike out, fending off the aggressors before it is too late and she falls completely under enemy control. Darlene Bobich and her group struggle to elude capture from the Sawyer clan, hell-bent on enslaving everyone in sight. Meanwhile, Mike, BT and what remains of the National Guard forces are caught up in a multi-national conflict that could spell the end of the American way.Can our heroes escape and can anything be done to turn the tide of a war that looks all but lost?

    More than one.Some stories just have to be told and so it is with the Tuxhorn family. Murder Is A Family Affair follows August Tuxhorn to America in the mid 1850s where Charles was born in Illinois. The boy grew up with a beautiful face and a stone heart. Evil set in motion by his grandfather and then his father, Charles carries on the family’s violent temper and disregard for human life. Did he inherit these traits shared by others? More important, did he pass them on? Follow their lives and watch the carnage they leave behind. The lives lost or destroyed in their wake.Has the evil in this family been buried with them?Or is it just the beginning?