Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.

    Join in the fun as Lily and Emmy share a whimsical day, filled with giggles and laughs, endless creativity, and tons of imagination.

    But to do this they need to outwit the evil General Woundwort.

    I admit. I'm in love. (Ugh!)But let's be realistic- I'm married and when that happens, realism sets in pretty quick. Those recurring used socks on the floor make sure of it! But I'm in love with being in love. The comfort of their human-ness, the warmth of their voice and even the sweatiness of hand-holding of someone you adore. Dearest George hopefully captures that. The everyday kinda love an infinite number of kisses, huge doses of longing when they're away, just a wee bit of creepy stalking, lots of chips eating (one needs special nutrition) & the occasional banter about who made the first move. He DID.(I need this in print so this debate ends once & for all.)PS: He'll tell you some story about a bus and all. DO NOT listen. Close your ears and hum. Trust me.

    The man admitted he had attempted to siphon gas from a motor home but inadvertently put the siphon tube in the wrong tank. Instead of gasoline, the man sucked out the contents of the sewage holding tank. If stupidity were lethal, all of the criminals highlighted in The Stupid Crook Book would be dead. This book from highly successful author Leland H. Gregory III captures hilarious tales of captured criminals who are so dumb you almost feel sorry for them. Almost. This lineup of criminal bozos includes: * Michael Anthony Silver, who made a $250 call to a 1-900 psychic hotline in the course of robbing a home. When the phone bill came later that month the homeowners called the police, who traced the call back to the hotline. It turns out Silver used his real name with the psychic.* A would-be bank robber who fainted when a bank teller told him she had no money. The police later found his getaway car and discovered the key locked inside it.* Tony Bariteau, who was arrested and pled guilty to breaking into the Deja Vu store in Troy, Alabama-twice! He was arrested because the same witness spotted him smashing the same window and stealing much of the same merchandise. Deja vu indeed.* A wanted fugitive from Maryland who was running low on cash and stopped by a police station in Texas to ask for gas money. The police saved him the expense and gave him a free ride back to prison.The Stupid Crook Book builds on the successful trail Gregory blazed with America's Dumbest Criminals, the book he coauthored that spent 17 weeks on the New York Times best-seller list.Author's web site: www.realwacky.com/

    Certain to keep readers laughing even as they are nodding over the truth of the portrayals, there are glimpses of oneself or someone you know around every turn.

    Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)

    One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.

    There are 17 classic stories, reprinted in black and white. Contains the complete stories “The Portier Fortune,” “Saree,” “The School For Girls,” “Saree Falls In Love,” “Il Fuce’s Locket,” “Black Gold (The Lands of Ben Adim),” “Competition,” “Money,” “Assignment Paris (The Spanish Jewels),” “Teachers Pet,” “The Seventh Husband,” “A Ticket Home,” “The Loot Of Robinson Crusoe (The Island Of Pearls),” “Staple Springs,” “L’Spirit,” “The Incident of the Sitting Duck,” and “The Capistrano Jewels.”

    Full-color illustrations.

    Over the past year, though, one sensation has dominated the Web: LOLcats. Here’s how it works: First you find a picture of a cat online, and then you add a caption that reflects the cat’s point of view. Just remember that although cats can speak English, their spelling and grammar is not so hot. Once you’re done, you have a LOLcat (laugh out loud cat). Since its founding in January 2007, icanhascheezburger .com (named after the most famous LOLcat of all) has been the center of the LOLcat world. I Can Has Cheezburger? collects 200 LOLcats from the enormously popular site, some classic and some new, in glorious and glossy full color. The book also highlights legendary LOLcat forms recognizable to fans everywhere (including “Do Not Want,” “Monorail Cat,” and “Oh Noes!”), and offers a guide to the finer points of LOLspeak. Packed with witty and endearing images and published into a proven cat-egory, I Can Has Cheezburger? is sure to delight feline aficionados and Internet nerds alike.

    The final six weeks of the series had guests like Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Oprah Winfrey, and the Obamas. All names you have heard many times. But it was the people behind the scenes who pulled off these twenty-eight unforgettable episodes of late-night television.Author Scott Ryan conducted over twenty interviews with the staffers of David Letterman. Most of the participants had never given interviews before. The writers, directors, producers, and stage managers offer a behind-the-scenes look at what it was like to work on these shows. Find out what it takes to write a Top Ten list, book a president for a guest spot, and what it was like working at the Ed Sullivan Theater.Long time Letterman writer Bill Scheft penned the foreword for the book. Included are over 100 color photos from staffers' personal collections, as well as publicity photos from the show. Get the first truly inside look at creating an episode of Late Show.Pre-order the book at lastdaysofletterman.com Interviews with:Barbara Gaines - Executive Producer; Sheila Rogers - Supervising Producer/ Talent Executive; Randi Grossack - Associate Director; Kathy Mavrikakis, Supervising Producer; Rick Sheckman, Associate Producer; Brian Teta - Supervising Producer/Segment Producer; Sheryl Zelikson - Music Producer; Jay Johnson - Creative Director, Digital Media; Jerry Foley - Director; Michael Barrie - Writer; Lee Ellenberg - Writer; Jim Mulholland - Writer; Joe Grossman - Writer; Jeremy Weiner - Writer; Steve Young - Writer; Vincent Favale - Executive of Late Night Programing; Eddie Valk - Stage Manager; Bill Scheft - Writer; Janice Penino - Vice President, Human Resources; Jill Goodwin - Writer; and Mike Buczkiewicz - Senior Producer/Segment Producer; Rupert Jee - Hello Deli Owner.Author Scott Ryan (thirtysomething at thirty: an oral history, The Blue Rose, Scott Luck Stories) weaves together memories from the staff with moments from the show in this new book recounting the final six weeks of Letterman's historic thirty-three-year reign as late-night talk show host.Pre-order the book at lastdaysofletterman.com

    The ex who can't stop talking about the French girlfriend who dumped him. The cute young bartender who knows how to make a Manhattan straight up. And, of course, Mr. Right—who looks like Liam Neeson, writes poetry like e.e. cummings, plays the guitar like Jimmy Page. Until he turns out to be a complete and total jerk.Narrated in 781 chapters—The List is an irresistible look at love, dating, friendship, sex, cats, thongs, and shopping. And a story that's as pleasurable, as interesting, as gossipy, as truthful, as reassuring, as compelling, as sane, as necessary as a late-night phone call to your best friend ever. Pour a cup of tea, curl up on the couch, and read to your heart's content.

    Bayer, may I please be excused? I’m not totally positive, but I think I might have cancer.” No way. Then everyone at school would know, and they would treat me differently, and I would be known as “Izzy, that poor girl who diagnosed herself with breast cancer during biology.”But Izzy’s sense of humor can only get her so far when suddenly her best friend appears to have undergone a personality transplant, her mother’s health takes a turn for the worse, and her beautiful maybe-boyfriend is going all hot and cold. Izzy thinks she’s preparing for the worst-case scenario, but when the worst-case scenario actually hits, it’s a different story altogether—and there’s no tidy list of symptoms to help her through the insanity.

    In the tiny apartment he shares with his Baryshnikov-obsessed mother, poetry-loving father, continually outraged grandmother, and safely talented brother, all Yevgeny has is his little pencil, the underside of a massive table, and the doodles that could change everything. With equal amounts charm and solemnity, award-winning author and artist Eugene Yelchin recounts in hilarious detail his childhood in Cold War Russia as a young boy desperate to understand his place in his family.