It's not only incubators that can hatch geese. A story of responsibility and adventure. Alternating pages of simpler text for children learning to read because learning to read can be joyful! Get it now.

    The Abernathys don't mean any harm by their flirtation with the underworld, but when they unknowingly call forth Satan himself, they create a gap in the universe. A gap in which a pair of enormous gates is visible. The gates to Hell. And there are some pretty terrifying beings just itching to get out...Can one small boy defeat evil? Can he harness the power of science, faith, and love to save the world as we know it?Bursting with imagination, The Gates is about the pull between good and evil, physics and fantasy. It is about a quirky and eccentric boy who is impossible not to love, and the unlikely cast of characters who give him the strength to stand up to a demonic power.John Connolly manages to re-create the magical and scary world of childhood that we've all left behind but so love to visit. And for those of you who thought you knew everything you could about particle physics and the universe, think again. This novel makes anything seem possible.

    Harold also has beef with Shawn’s father, William Henry Harrison Middle School football coach Sam Farmer. So when Harold finds out his mother has been secretly dating Coach Farmer, he is understandably upset. And when Coach Farmer proposes to his mother at an all-you-can-eat buffet, it’s understandable when he completely flips. Fortunately Harold has an ally on his side… the school bully himself, Shawn. Like Harold, Shawn realizes a merger of the Farmer and O’Connell clans will completely obliterate his standing as the most popular guy in school. Harold and Shawn form an unholy alliance and strive to stop the wedding from heck. This task is easier said than done, however. Coach Farmer and Ms. O’Connell are deeply in love, and they’re not breaking up without a fight, no matter how many times Harold and Shawn sabotage their wedding plans. But that’s not what troubles Harold the most. What he is most troubled by is the fact that, as he and his former nemesis spend more time together, they are slowly yet surely becoming friends. At William Henry Harrison Middle School, the school bully and the school nerd becoming best buds is like a lion singing Kumbaya with a zebra. Will Harold and Shawn succeed in their dastardly plot to stop their parents’ wedding, or will they allow their emerging friendship to blossom and throw their schools’ social order out of whack? The School Bully Is My Brother is a simultaneously hilarious and sweet take on middle school life. It should appeal to any kid who must deal with bullies. Likewise, it should appeal to the bullies out there who like to dish out torment (and hopefully convince them that nerds and geeks aren’t all that bad). Think of it as Modern Family meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid. This novel is unique in that it features characters of different races, religions, sexual orientations, and socio-economic backgrounds, and most kids (and adults) will appreciate the books’ message of inclusiveness.

    Effi’s no pushover, but trying to stand up to Maxey is like trying to stop an earthquake. It would be easier to deal with Maxey if Effi had a buddy. She hasn’t had a best friend since Lola Jo moved, and she has so many secrets saved to tell a best friend—including the most amazing idea in the world for a winning science project—she’s about to explode.Effi’s got to win that science prize, find a best friend, and get back at Maxey—in just one week!From the Hardcover edition.

    Discover the Homework Hoax, the Squirting Blister, the Movie Popcorn That Grabs You Back. Pull classic pranks on your siblings, like short-sheeting the bed. Freak out your friends with food pranks: a self-peeling banana, “misfortune” cookies, or ice cream that will make them scream (here’s a hint—it involves instant mashed potatoes). And there are perfect pranks to pull on your parents, including a scheme to “freeze” the family computer. The book includes recipes for fake bird poop, fake dog poop, fake vomit, and fake snot (regular, nosebleed, and wormy varieties). A complete prankster’s guide, Pranklopedia also provides a four-part lesson on how to pull the perfect prank and tells you what to do when pranks go bad: 1. Disappear for a while . . .

    Illustrated in a classic Norman Rockwell–inspired style, A Very Klingon Khristmas is the perfect holiday gift for every Star Trek fan!

    He invited his friends over to tag all the possessions in his apartment, and he systematically put them up for sale on eBay. An unopened box of taco shells, half a bottle of mouthwash, almost all of his clothes, his favorite records, his sideburns (in a plastic bag), his family's Christmas presents (not yet given), furniture: John didn't let sentiment or utility stand in his way. Soon his belongings were sold all over the world, with a bag of Porky's BBQ Pork Skins making its way to Japan, and a chair ending up in the Museum of Modern Art. With almost all the objects in his life now gone, he started the second phase of his journey: to go visit his one-time possessions in their new surroundings.All My Life for Sale is an extraordinary book that functions as an autobiography, a travel narrative, and a meditation on what the objects we surround ourselves with actually mean to us and what happens when we set them free. Designed by the author himself, it is visually striking, surprisingly moving, and will change the way you look at the things that surround you.

    From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

    Here's the first in a new series of in-depth discussions on a variety of subjects relating to humanity's greatest endeavors.Around the table, Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, and the glabrous luminary Karl Pilkington.In this episode, MEDICINE, we explore the treatment of human ailments through history - from trepanation (or 'oles in the 'ed) in early tribal societies right through to the possible, if improbable, future of medical technology.Ricky Steve and Karl offer a uniquely ill-informed appraisal, from medicine's superstitious roots in shamanism, the beginnings of empiricism and on to today's holistic ideal.Areas of discussion include the dangers of leaving yoghurt pots in fridges; how over-enthusiastic janitors can stifle scientific progress; how hygiene impacts on immunity; Karl's ideas on empathic diagnosis; fruit-based contraception; the risks of eye surgery; the politics of treating obesity; conjugal care-workers; geriatric clinical trials; Karl's take on palliative care; and the inevitable anal-probing....

    Have you ever wondered how expensive a jar of honey would be if a minimum wage for bees applied, or whether a dog cares what's on television when they sit next to you?This book pairs the sweet and sad facts of animal life with their imagined thoughts and reactions.

    It's a quirky cultural history, social satire with a twist. Here are letters of congratulation-to newly elected Ronald Reagan ("This is my dream come true!") and letters of outrage-to Pepsi ("Take the Madonna commercial off the air!"). Letters filled with fresh ideas-proposing to Swanson a "Fit for a President Microwave Dinner" series, including the Jimmy Carter Camp David Accord Style Fried Chicken and Grits. And letters of advice-how Coca-Cola should handle the "pubic hair in the can of Coke" reference during the Thomas hearings.And the best part: the replies.CITIZEN LAZLO! Over 100 new letters. We missed you. 61,000 copies in print.

    Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:* If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too.* Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.* Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too.* When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.* A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.* Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.* If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before.* Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

    If you follow each and every one, your life will become easier, more fabulous, more rewarding. Imagine what a chilled-out and wonderful human being people would think you were if you lived by the simple principle "You can never fail if you never try." Your wasted life would be an inspiration to others. Think of all the pointless, unhappy striving you could simply give up. Throw away that guitar! Give up on your dreams! Embrace your astounding mediocrity. This Book Loves You has something for everyone--or at least everyone willing to give up and stop caring. If all else fails, remember: "Don’t be yourself. Be a pizza. Everyone loves pizza."

    All they do is sit in their cages, eat carrots, and poop. Then his annoying little sister blackmails him into hiding a bunny in his closet. She knows what really happened to his "stolen" bike and she's threatening to tell. Now Drew’s in a real jam. If his "No pets!" parents find the rabbit or, worse, his sister blabs the truth, he'll be grounded till grade seven for sure. And if that’s not enough trouble, two girls at school drag him into a prank war that goes from bad to worse (all the rabbit’s fault). Plus, the weirdest girl in his class wants to be his science partner. If she tells him she wants to be his girlfriend, he just knows he’s gonna die. Drew must find a way to outwit the mean girls, wiggle out of the blackmail deal, and get rid of the rabbit before it destroys his bedroom and his life.

    And together boy and dog are off on a series of adventures through marvelous worlds, powered by Copper's limitless enthusiasm and imagination. Each Copper and Fred story in this graphic novel collection is a complete vignette, filled with richly detailed settings and told with a wry sense of humor. These two enormously likable characters build ships and planes to travel to surprising destinations and have a knack for getting into all sorts of odd situations.