Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Gumball thinks he’s the coolest kid on the block, but his little sister Anais begs to differ, and Darwin just wants to keep them all out of trouble.

    What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, all combined with a twist of Nordic Noir (human folly, abrupt and plentiful deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    They tell us about Kaem Seba, a sickly and financially destitute young man who uses his extraordinary math talents to work out a way to stop time within limited volumes of space-time. He and Arya Vaii, a business student, set out to develop the phenomenon. It quickly becomes obvious that, beyond the fact that time stops inside the stasis field, the volume of space-time in stasis might be useful for some of its other phenomenal properties. Since it essentially can’t be altered (time’s stopped inside) it’s stronger than any known substance and, unlike matter, does not melt. This makes it the perfect material for building rocket engines. They set out to sell such engines in order to provide their budding business enough profit to let them develop other useful products. Unfortunately, the owner of the lab that tested the properties of their samples also recognizes their potential. His desire to share in their profits unhinges his shaky grasp on reality. When he can’t talk them into letting him join their enterprise, he demands a share at gunpoint.

    Rarely are self-certified wasters called to the battle between good and evil. It’s the job of Jack Connolly, failed television celebrity turned religious messiah to convince Joseph otherwise. As the past, present and future converge, an important question becomes paramount: Is the oncoming apocalypse even real? Add in a new girlfriend who thinks Joseph is someone else entirely and a housemate with an unhealthy Roger Moore obsession and it all starts to get a bit tricky.

    But Camp Half-Blood Confidential explores much more than just the buildings and grounds. It includes info that can only be learned from those who live there. For instance, campers do not always co-exist in peace and harmony. The camp is not run with superior efficiency. Prophecies do not flow forth with great regularity. Sprinkled throughout are stories from heroes who have called Camp Half-Blood home or just passed through on their way to places unknown. Chiron himself introduces the book with a brief history of training based on his millennia of experience. And, of course, there are divine words of wisdom from the god Apollo himself, because . . . well, because the demigod authors would prefer not to be struck down, thank you very much.

    Her eagerness to help a mysterious bunny gets her transported to a strange world full of goblin inventors, dog armies, cosmic giants, and even stranger things! Armed with the ancestral weapon of rabbitkind (an old shovel) she must help her animal friends, and get home in time for supper. Along the way she will experience the bravery of folk heroes, the power of ancient gods and the danger of lurking monsters; all while making sure her animal friends are safe. A word book for young readers, The Tale of Tallest Rabbit is a family friendly collection of stories tied together by an overarching narrative of bravery and friendship.

    

     Fresh from Duck Soup (1933), Julius, Leonard, Arthur and Herbert Marx - or as the world knows them, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo - are transported by a freak electrical storm to Nacogdoches, Texas in the year 1826. Landing in the midst of the Fredonian Rebellion (the first attempt by settlers in Texas to secede from Mexico) and into the company of the only other Jewish person in town, they are in deep dreck. Falling in with Stephen F. Austin and inadvertently filling his head with knowledge of what is to come, our heroes risk tampering with the future of Texas, and perhaps the entire U.S.A., in their quest to return to their own time. Will they find their way back? Or will they be doomed to live out their lives without indoor plumbing?

    I hope you enjoy it.

    Always ready with an impeccable phrase or a sly wink, he shares tales of the most darkly ironic sort, including a field report from a human abattoir, a chronicle of dating Death, and, of course, the tale of the goat that ate its own legs. The thirty-one bizarre, insightful, and morbidly hilarious tales in My Goat Ate Its Own Legs: Tales for Adults will delight anyone who doesn't take life (or death) too seriously.

    'In the morning I discovered the secret of changing base metal into gold. In the afternoon, I murdered my wife.'For a man as remarkable as the philosopher Saloninus, just another day.Of course, we only have his word for it, and Saloninus has been known to be creative with the truth. Little white lies are inevitable expedients when you're one jump ahead of the secret police and on the brink of one of the greatest discoveries in the history of alchemy. But why would a scientist with the world's most generous, forgiving patron be so desperate to run away? And what, if anything, has blue got to do with gold?Cover illustration by Vincent Chong

    Killed the Mad King and defeated the Demon Lord.Now that I'm mortal again, all I'd like to do is to brew some tasty ales and serve my regulars at the Tipsy Pelican Tavern.Most of all, I'd like to avoid any trouble involving the church or the nobility.That's not too much to ask right? ....Right?This light novel contains...- Fantasy & Action- An unconventional op mc- A unique magic system- Slice of life arcs- A beautiful cast- Loads of humor- Several pages of original art- A heartwarming moment or two

    Telling three interconnected stories taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" this novel is a can't miss for fans of THE KING HENRY TAPES. Spending equal time with Tyson Bonnie, Eva Reti, and King Henry Price himself, KING HENRY AND THE THREE LITTLE TRIPS shows the fallout from the Days of Supernatural Exhibit in both the personal cost for our characters and the political cost for supernatural organizations worldwide as fear of the Curator spreads to even the Asylum itself. Read as Tyson Bonnie escorts Vicky Welf to the Coyote Nation compound, find out if Eva Reti can survive the anima experiment inflicted upon her, and follow King Henry as he returns to the Asylum seeking Plutarch's help. The queue for the "Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" roller-coaster begins here! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (forthcoming)