It didn't give you the date and it didn't give you specifics. It just spat out a sliver of paper upon which were printed, in careful block letters, the words DROWNED or CANCER or OLD AGE or CHOKED ON A HANDFUL OF POPCORN. It let people know how they were going to die." Machine of Death tells thirty-four different stories about people who know how they will die. Prepare to have your tears jerked, your spine tingled, your funny bone tickled, your mind blown, your pulse quickened, or your heart warmed. Or better yet, simply prepare to be surprised. Because even when people do have perfect knowledge of the future, there's no telling exactly how things will turn out. Featuring stories by: * Randall Munroe* Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw* Tom Francis* Camille Alexa* Erin McKean* James L. Sutter* Douglas J. Lane* and many others.Featuring illustrations by: * Kate Beaton* Kazu Kibuishi* Aaron Diaz* Jeffrey Brown* Scott C.* Roger Langridge* Karl Kerschl* Cameron Stewart* and many others

    INCLUDED DELETED BONUS SCENES AND ALICE HU'S RED QUEEN'S REVENGE CUPCAKE RECIPE!Her Mad Hatter: Alice is all grown up. Running the Mad Hatter's Cupcakery and Tea Shoppe is a delicious job, until fate--and a fairy godmother with a weakness for bad boys--throws her a curveball. Now, Alice is the newest resident of Wonderland, where the Mad Hatter fuels her fantasies and thrills her body with his dark touch. The Mad Hatter may have a voice and a body made for sex, but he takes no lovers. Ever. But a determined fairy godmother has forced Alice into Wonderland--and his arms. Now, as desire and madness converge, the Hatter must decide if he will fight the fairy godmother's mating--or fight for Alice. Gerard's Beauty: A not so classic retelling of Beauty and the Beast, as seen through the eyes of the villain... Betty Hart has had it with men. Jilted in love, her life now consists of shelving books by day, watching too much Anime by night, and occasionally dressing up like a superhero on the weekends with her fellow ?Bleeding Heart? nerds. Men are not welcome and very much unwanted. Especially the sexy Frenchman who saunters into her library reeking of alcohol and looking like he went one too many rounds in the ring. Gerard Caron is in trouble. Again. Caught with his pants down (literally) he?s forced to seek asylum on Earth while his fairy godmother tries to keep Prince Charming from going all ?Off with his head?. Maybe, messing around with the King?s daughter hadn?t been such a great idea after all, not that Gerard knew the silly redhead was a princess. But his fairy godmother knows the only way to save his life is to finally pair Gerard with his perfect mate, whether he?s willing or not. From the moment Gerard lays eyes on the nerdy librarian he knows he must have her, but Betty is unlike any woman he?s ever known. He thought Betty would come as willingly to his bed as every other woman before her, but she is a woman who demands respect and even? horror of all horrors? love. Is it possible for a self-proclaimed Casanova to change his ways? Red and Her Wolf: Long ago there lived a beautiful child. Her name was Violet. Fair of skin, with blonde hair and large blue eyes. Born of wild magic, she was a woman with a child?s heart. Innocent and lovely, but not at all what she seemed--you see Violet went by another name: The Heartsong. She was the child of fairy magic, the physical manifestation of all fae kinds unbridled power. Cosseted and pampered, she grew up in isolation, never knowing who she really was, or why there were those who?d seek to harm her. Ewan of the Blackfoot Clan is a wolf with a problem. He?s been sent to kill the Heartsong, but the moment he lays eyes on the blonde beauty he knows he?ll defy the evil fae he works for to claim Violet as his own. This is the tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, as it really happened...

    This book contains situations that some may find offensive. If you are sensitive to graphic violence read with caution. This book also leads into a second book. You will get answers but the story will continue into a final instalment. You have been warned. Enjoy. You meet someone. You date. You fall in love. You marry. The four simple rules of love…. Wrong! I’m getting married but I’d never met him before now, never dated him, never fell in love. I have no access to the memories of the most magical time of anyone’s life. My mind won’t allow me to evoke the past, I can’t remember those simple stages to lead me to the fourth . I can’t comprehend why I would have ever wanted to marry someone like Dante. I should never have passed the first stage, although, I may have seen him through the eyes of the woman I once was, this me that lives, breathes here now, can’t understand how we made it to the next stage. I’m not sure, without memories, how I know that this voice inside me, telling me I would never have chosen him, speaks some truth, I just know. He’s controlling, arrogant, callous and violent, and utterly hell bent on humiliating and degrading me – Like watching me falter, watching me struggle to comply and be the woman he asked to marry, powers him- as though he wants to break me piece by piece. Fiber by fiber. Until all that’s here is the shell he created from a soul that I once owned. Now my memories are slowly returning. And they show me a completely different side to meeting him. Our dates, falling in love. The Dante haunting me in the shadows of my mind is loving, gentle and utterly enamored with me, nothing like the man with me now. And this is what taunts me. My tender lover turned into a debauched, cruel sadist who is determined to consume my life, destroy my mind and murder my spirit. I am, Star, and just like with some stars in the sky, the light you see is an echo, a façade, I am already gone I am a no one. Especially to him. To him I am the dark in his desires, the corrupt in his depravity. The sin in his immorality

    word count: 95,000THE SAVAGE BLOOD:Matthew and Bracus of the Band travel alongside eighteen-year old queen, Clara Williamson, as she journeys to the sea to unlock the puzzle of her lineage.Trouble strikes when the fragment absorbs Prince Frederic and undertake plans that involve Clara and her home sphere in a dangerous scheme of coercion.It isn't long before Clara discovers the Guardians terrible secret through horrible circumstances she must escape from.Can Clara protect herself from her own destiny?App. word count: 85,000THE SAVAGE PRINCIPLE:King Raymond is betrothed to Princess Ada of a neighboring sphere in an arranged match not of his choosing. Travelers from a parallel world have bargained to save the future of his people and he cannot refuse their offer.Raymond does not believe that an alliance with the savages would result in a life-altering experience. He soon finds himself overwhelmed when an entanglement of emotion and love conspire to undermine his vow in the most unlikely place.Rowenna, warrior female of the Band, is a much sought-after female select. When her kin agree to an offer that will unite the races of their future, they do not realize what the sacrifice will cost her.Can the two peoples of separate societies survive the prejudicial position that has been hoisted on them? Will their sacrifice afford a future of liberty, or will heartbreak be the only consequence of their love?App. word count: 30,000

    More Grimm than Disney, in this collection you’ll find twists on Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, Rumplestilstskin, The Snow Queen, Cinderella, The Pied Piper, Alice in Wonderland, and Red Riding Hood, plus new tales paying homage to the old traditions. Shadows cannot exist without light, however, and you’ll find enough happily-ever-afters to lift your spirits in this anthology full of adventure, dark powers, and ultimately the enduring power of true love.   YARROW, STURDY AND BRIGHT by Devon Monk – Sweet music cannot hide a wicked heart… FAE HORSE by Anthea Sharp – Faerie bargains can grant any desire, but be careful what you wish for. THE QUEEN OF FROST AND DARKNESS by Christine Pope - Her heart is the only thing colder than a Russian winter…. BONES by Yasmine Galenorn - Sometimes, your most cherished dream can turn out to be a nightmare. MAGIC AFTER MIDNIGHT by C. Gockel – The Wicked Stepmother is about to meet her match… DANCE WITH THE DEVIL by Donna Augustine - When the devil makes a deal with a dancer, he gets more than he bargained for. NO GIFT OF WORDS by Annie Bellet - Never steal from a witch... THE GRIM BROTHER by Audrey Faye – Not all walks in the wood end well… BEAUTY INSIDE BEAST by Danielle Monsch - Happily Ever After ain't guaranteed when Once Upon a Time is here. FAESCORNED by Jenna Elizabeth Johnson - The Morrigan, Celtic goddess of war and strife, must relive a painful memory that reminds her of what she can never have. DRAWN TO THE BRINK by Tara Maya - Sajiana's job is to hunt down monsters brought alive from paintings. She never expected to meet one so handsome... or to need his help. THE VARIANCE COURT by Alexia Purdy - Anna, a struggling college student, discovers a mysterious ring that turns her quiet life chaotic when the ring's magic doesn't do what it's told. THE MORRIGAN by Phaedra Weldon – A young man discovers he has leprechaun blood – and is wanted by dark faerie forces. ALICE by Julia Crane - A twisted tale of Alice and Wonderland. Facing madness and an ominous prophecy, Alice chooses to follow her heart despite knowing her world is about to change forever. STILL RED by Sabrina Locke – When the Hunters come, can there be any escape? THE FINAL STRAW by Jennifer Blackstream - To banish a gold-spinning demon, first you must guess his name... THE UNICORN HUNTER by Alethea Kontis – Only Snow White knows what really happened in the forest…

    Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit-faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity's salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as they are? Not everyone who saves the world is a rocket scientist, a super hero, or a handsome actor turned politician. Sometimes people who save the world... they're fucking idiots.

    But John is a deeply damaged soul, bound to his tormented past. Can André save him from himself?Submissive Kelly Flynn has a huge crush on John Taylor, and is restrained by troubling ties of her own. She is suffering from the "Fatal Female Flaw" when ordinarily sensible women fall madly in love with an unattainable man who can't, or won't love them back. There's no possible way Kelly can ever break through John's defenses to the tortured soul beneath... or can she? Freed With a deep phobia of small spaces, the last place Kelly Flynn wants to be is trapped in a dark elevator... especially with John Taylor, the handsome Dom she has a huge crush on. As her fear threatens to overwhelm her, it becomes clear John will have to do something drastic to save her.Luckily, John is just the man to solve the problem. An experienced Dom, he knows everything about a woman's body, including how to bring it to soaring heights of pleasure.Both Kelly and John are caged by far more than just walls. Each has their own issues that bind them. Can they free each other? Stripped After escaping the elevator, Kelly Flynn goes home with John Taylor, the Dom she has a crush on. Why? Because she has fallen completely, madly in love with the man. And what woman in her right mind wouldn’t fall in love with him? To Kelly’s mind, John is perfect. Or is he? Punished Kelly Flynn is on an emotional roller coaster ride from hell.Saturday night she had hit a freakish all time low when she had been caught in a broken elevator. With a phobia of being trapped in small, dark places Kelly had totally flipped out when the lights went out and the elevator screeched and jerked to a halt. Luckily the Dom she had been crushing on all month, John Taylor, was there to save her. One thing led to another and Kelly ended up spending the night with John and having the BEST SEX of her entire life. Not to mention falling head over heels in love with the guy.Who unfortunately it turned out, was a complete nut job wacko bastard. Or was he? John Taylor is in fact, the ultimate Dom. He knows just how to deal with a disrespectful sub. What will John do? Because it is pretty clear by now, that Kelly won’t get away with her behavior toward him. There is no question about it. Kelly will need to be punished. Connected Submissive Kelly Flynn's life is falling apart.John Taylor, her Dom boyfriend is wanted by the police for the brutal murder of his psychologist, a woman who was helping him deal with his childhood.Kelly is John's alibi, but the police don’t believe her. Her parents don't believe her either, but she knows John. Madly in love with John Taylor, Kelly just doesn't know anything about his past. What is it that made him the way he is?Meanwhile, with John's solid alibi, the real killer is looking for another victim. Does the murder have Kelly's name on the top of his "To-do" list? Between her parents, John's past, the police, and the killer, Kelly's perfect love story is seriously feeling the strain.

    Here are gathered the best of their chilling, thrilling, upsetting, and unsettling experiments with our sexual psyches. And rest assured, flesh will tingle--but whether from horror or pleasure or a bit of both, we'll leave you to judge.From its opening pages, with King's blackly humorous portrait of a very, very mad housewife to its conclusion, where we find Barker's wholly shocking tale of a deadly quest into the heart of passion, I Shudder at Your Touch brings you a host of kinky, perverse, bizarre and creepy figures. You'll find a cricket-playing vampire, a sleek sea creature likely to give mermaids a bad name, a strangely seductive handyman who's equally adept at knocking down apartment walls and female inhibitions, and a plastic religious statue offering X-rated enlightenment from its perch atop the family TV.I Shudder at Your Touch features 22 daring writers who prefer to go too far, writers whose every tale will have you fighting back a scream...and a cry of delight.Contents:The revelations of 'Becka Paulson / Stephen King --Sea lovers / Valerie Martin --Psychopomp / Haydn Middleton --A glowing future / Ruth Rendell --The tiger returns to the mountain / T.L. Parkinson --Consanguinity / Ronald Duncan --Keeping house / Michael Blumlein --The Villa Desiree / May Sinclair --Cleave the vampire, or, a gothic pastorale / Patrick McGrath --The swords / Robert Aickman --Salon Satin / Carolyn Banks --How love came to Professor Guildea / Robert Hichens --Wings / Harriet Zinnes --The Basilisk / R. Murray Gilchrist --A quarter past you / Jonathan Carroll --The master builder / Christopher Fowler --Festival / Eric McCormack --Ladies in waiting / Huch B. Cave --Death and the single girl / Thomas M. Disch --Master / Angela Carter --The conqueror worm / Stephen R. Donaldson --Jacqueline Ess: her will and testament / Clive Barker

    He is hard at work on his autobiography, The Fermata, which proves in the telling to be a very provocative, very funny and altogether morally confused piece of work.Hilarious and totally original, Nicholson Baker's new novel is a triumphant comedy about sexual fantasy and fantastic sexuality.

    Don't come back to me with your therapy bills.This is the first part of the full story featured in FORBIDDEN. If you have read Forbidden, you don't have to read this.

    A deadbeat dad gains employment as a lady-in-waiting in a fairytale bromance where every character looks exactly like someone else from John Carpenter’s The Thing. The unknowing victim of a cruel prank, a simpleton spends his entire life waiting on a park bench for the hottest girl in school. Using only his twenty-sided die and good old-fashioned D&D magic, a man must continually resurrect the neighborhood kid regularly murdered on his own front lawn. An aging slaughterhouse worker and the iconic figure from Edvard Munch’s The Scream hit the clubs every weekend in a vain attempt to get laid.These and many more absurdities await in Clown Tear Junkies, the debut collection from Douglas Hackle.

    Lovecraft's classic stories, among them some of the greatest works of horror fiction ever written, including:

    A wall. Sometimes love blooms in the strangest of places... What would happen if a woman, tired of previous broken relationships, instead fell in love with her wall? Would she be spurned yet again, or would it be a match made in heaven? Gina Ranalli is the author of Suicide Girls in the Afterlife, 13 Thorns (with outsider artist Gus Fink) and Chemical Gardens.

    Be they straight-up monsters or nightmares behind a human mask, they track us and they kill us. Sometimes, they play with their food, where death would be a kindness. But there is hope. There are those who search out the monsters, those who hunt the hunters. These are their stories. ********* Featuring 13 stories of military horror by some of the best known and emerging writers in the genre. 1. Apex Predator -- N. X. Sharps & Tim Marquitz 2. Two Birds, One Stone -- Evan Dicken 3. Non Zero Sum -- R. P. L. Johnson 4. Only Stones -- Christine Morgan 5. That Old Black Magic -- James A. Moore 6. Ngu Tinh -- D. F. Shultz 7. Warm Bodies -- Kirsten Cross 8. The Bani Protocols -- Rose Blackthorn 9. Hungry Eyes -- Seth Skorkowsky 10. The Secret War -- David W. Amendola 11. Outbreak -- V. E. Battaglia 12. Droch Fhola -- Brad C. Hodson 13. Bonked -- Patrick Freivald

    And he planned to keep it that way.Until he met her.Monica Singer, an infamous blogger, is keen to discover the truth of his secret identity.During a chance meeting at a book convention, Michael and Monica form an instant connection. And soon, an industry rivalry becomes something else entirely.But as Michael starts to let his guard down, he doesn’t realize that the person he's learning to trust may be hiding secrets of her own.Secrets that could ultimately destroy everything.