It is most certainly not for you.Because this book is FULL of impossible things.Are you still reading?Good.Then let us begin . . .A Boy Called Christmas is a tale of adventure, snow, kidnapping, elves, more snow, and an eleven-year-old boy called Nikolas, who isn't afraid to believe in magic.

    Suspended from his job, alienated from his family, and persecuted by the press, he’s sorely tempted to turn his gun on himself. Except for his first name, he couldn’t possibly have less in common with jolly old St. Nicholas. But when a local mall decides it needs a secret Santa to help collar some vicious muggers preying on its holiday shoppers, Nick’s persuaded to red-suit up so as to take the naughty punks down and avert a ho-ho homicide. For a chance to bust bad guys, Nick’s willing to deal with crying kids, pushy parents, and a chronically cheerful “elf” sidekick. But the biggest challenge for this cop-turned-Claus is one that would confound even the real Kris Kringle: making a pair of next-to-impossible Christmas wishes come true for two children in need…before it’s too late. This book was initially released in episodes as a Kindle Serial. All episodes are now available for immediate download as a complete book.

    From a spectrum of backgrounds—urban and rural, wealthy and poor, mixed race, immigrants, and more—Black Enough showcases diversity within diversity.Whether it’s New York Times bestselling author Jason Reynolds writing about #blackboyjoy or Newberry Honor-winning author Renee Watson talking about black girls at camp in Portland, or emerging author Jay Coles’s story about two cowboys kissing in the south—Black Enough is an essential collection full of captivating coming-of-age stories about what it’s like to be young and black in America.

    What twisted, funny tales would it unleash upon the world?Combining some of the UK's best and brightest comedy writers and performers, this exclusive to audio edition of UKTV's Dave Channel Crackanory is a master class in storytelling and features an all-star cast including Toby Jones, Katherine Parkinson, John Robins, Robert Bathurst and Simon Bird.Episode List:'Kill Phil''Mummy Business''The Character Assassin''The IT Man''The Egg That Knew Too Much'

    To her surprise, she returns to find that her mother is dating the man next door, who also happens to be the father of her ex-boyfriend Tom. Tom, who broke Lily’s heart all those years ago. Tom, the real reason Lily fled to the other side of the world and stayed there. Tom, who is also home for Christmas and right there, next door.In what is shaping up to be the worst Christmas ever, somehow Lily and Tom have to try to get along and play happy families, but living with the man who she is clearly not over is proving to be difficult, and tensions are high. Add in some drunken caroling, a reindeer bite, a potent Christmas pudding and some meddling parents and Lily’s trip home will turn her entire life upside down.

    One hundred and eighty voices - male and female, young and old, from all walks of life and all over the country - talk intimately to the reader. Combining great humor and pathos this remarkable selection of stories from the thousands submitted to NPR's Weekend All Things Considered National Story Project gives the reader a glimpse of America's soul in all its diversity.

    This laugh-out-loud program includes:Brain Droppings • 2001 Grammy® winnerAcerbic observations, manic musings, in-your-face questions, witty word play, and more “droppings” from Carlin’s singular brain. “I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.” “Why are there no recreational drugs taken in suppository form?”Napalm & Silly Putty • 2002 Grammy® winnerCarlin invents Past-Tense TV (“Got Smart,” “Father Knew Best,” “It Was Left to Beaver”), crusades for the Center for Research into the Heebie Jeebies, and suggests that “if the shoe fits, get another just like it.”More Napalm & Silly PuttyEverything that wouldn’t fit on the first Napalm recording—like “A Day in the Life of Henry VIII,” “Sports Should Be Fixed,” and candid takes on life’s little moments (“I’m beyond the nice day”), all delivered with wicked glee.Plus a bonus interview from Fresh Air.

    Dressed in her finest Parisian low-waisted gown, feather-topped tiara, and T-strapped Italian leather shoes, Ginger is ready to host the delectable event.It's a jolly good time, until someone chokes on the pudding.Is it an accident or is it murder? And can Ginger unravel the mystery before the church bells ring and New Year's Day dawns?Karen MacInerney - SLAY BELLS RINGIt's Christmastime on Dewberry Farm, and homesteader Lucy Resnick is busy bundling mistletoe bunches and cedar swags for the Buttercup Christmas Market when a neighbor's houseguest keels over right next to her peach orchard. Was it a stray bullet from a hunter that took him out? Or did a guest at the fancy ranch next door decide to scratch somebody off his or her Christmas list? It's up to Lucy to unwrap the mystery… before the holiday killer strikes again.CeeCee James - CHRISTMAS AT BAKER STREETIn this Baker Street spin-off, Oscar and Cecelia find themselves and the guests snowed in this Christmas holiday. What should be all sugar cookies and hot cocoa takes a drastic turn when one of the guests turns up cold—as in stone cold dead. With no help in sight, the two hope to find the killer before anyone else gets iced out, including them.Nancy Warren - CAT'S PAWS AND CURSESIn this classic closed room mystery, someone is murdered during a knitting class. But how was it possible? Lucy Swift and her band of undead knitters must catch the culprit before there's a second Christmas catastrophe!Molly Fitz - MEOWY CHRISTMAS MAYHEMIt's Angie's first Christmas as a pet owner, and she can't wait to celebrate with Octo-Cat, Paisley, and Nan. All it takes is a little finely-crafted trickery to get her crabby tabby into the local pet supply store for a special photo opportunity with Santa. Unfortunately, the jolly old soul is found dead in the stock room before he ever gets the chance to say "cheese." Angie and her motley crew of sidekicks need to work fast to find the culprit and prevent any further suspicious holiday slaying... Otherwise, the most wonderful time of the year could end up becoming the most murderous season Blueberry Bay has ever seen.Addison Moore - CHRISTMAS FUDGE FATALITYMy name is Lottie Lemon, and I see dead people. Okay, so I rarely see dead people, mostly I see furry creatures of the dearly departed variety, aka dead pets, who have come back from the other side to warn me of their previous owner's impending doom.The holidays have arrived and the Jolly Holly Tree Lot is hosting a special event that has the entire town bustling to get a picture with the jolly old elf himself. And I'm just as anxious as anyone to get to the front of the line, but that body I stumble upon threatens to take the joy right out of the season.

    “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In page after hilarious page, one brilliantly crafted observation after another, readers will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.

    For fans of Trisha Ashley and Jenny Colgan.Heartbroken after being jilted at the altar, Sybil has been saved from despair by her knitting obsession and now her home is filled to bursting with tea cosies, bobble hats, and jumpers. But, after discovering that she may have perpetrated the cock-up of the century at work, Sybil decides to make a hasty exit and, just weeks before Christmas, runs away to the picturesque village of Tindledale.There, Sybil discovers Hettie’s House of Haberdashery, an emporium dedicated to the world of knitting and needle craft. But Hettie, the outspoken octogenarian owner, is struggling and now the shop is due for closure. And when Hettie decides that Sybil’s wonderfully wacky Christmas jumpers are just the thing to add a bit of excitement to her window display, something miraculous starts to happen…

    His chiseled good looks and imposing physique are sure to impress the lady-in-waiting, and if it weren’t for his shocking American ways and wild reputation, her hand would already be guaranteed.Before the courtship can begin, Rafe realizes he must learn the rules of London society. But when four former Wallfowers try their hand at matchmaking, no one knows what will happen. And winning a bride turns out to be more complicated than Rafe Bowman anticipated, especially for a man accustomed to getting anything he wants. However, Christmas works in the most unexpected ways, changing a cynic to a romantic and inspiring passion in the most timid of hearts.

    Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives—the ones we’d like to pretend never happened—are in fact the ones that define us. Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor. Chapters include: “Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel”; “A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband”; “My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking”; “And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane.” Pictures with captions (no one would believe these things without proof) accompany the text.

    Each volume’s series editor selects notable works from hundreds of magazines, journals, and websites. A special guest editor, a leading writer in the field, then chooses the best twenty or so pieces to publish. This unique system has made the Best American series the most respected — and most popular — of its kind.The Best American Short Stories 2012 includesThe last speaker of the language / Carol Anshaw --Pilgrim life / Taylor Antrim --What we talk about when we talk about Anne Frank / Nathan Englander --The other place / Mary Gaitskill --North Country / Roxane Gay --Paramour / Jennifer Haigh --Navigators / Mike Meginnis --Miracle polish / Steven Millhauser --Axis / Alice Munro --Volcano / Lawrence Osborne --Diem Perdidi / Julie Otsuka --Honeydew / Edith Pearlman --Occupational hazard / Angela Pneuman --Beautiful monsters / Eric Puchner --Tenth of December / George Saunders --The sex lives of African girls / Taiye Selasi --Alive / Sharon Solwitz --M&M world / Kate Walbert --Anything helps / Jess Walter --What's important is feeling / Adam Wilson