The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma


Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
    Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.

Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered


Bruce D. Perry - 2009
    Perry and award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz interweave research and stories from Perry's practice with cutting-edge scientific studies and historical examples to explain how empathy develops, why it is essential for our development into healthy adults, and how it is threatened in the modern world.Perry and Szalavitz show that compassion underlies the qualities that make society work—trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity—and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems such as war, crime, racism, and mental illness. Even physical health, from infectious diseases to heart attacks, is deeply affected by our human connections to one another.As Born for Love reveals, recent changes in technology, child-rearing practices, education, and lifestyles are starting to rob children of necessary human contact and deep relationships—the essential foundation for empathy and a caring, healthy society. Sounding an important warning bell, Born for Love offers practical ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and fostering positive social change to benefit us all.

The No Contact Rule


Natalie Lue - 2007
    Grab back your power and move on to aNo Contact (NC) is ideal when someone just won't break up, but isn't prepared to commit to being and doing what is expected of them. It's also exactly what's needed when you keep chasing someone who doesn't want you or isn't prepared to give you what you want and need. NC teaches boundaries and imposes limits both on yourself and the other person. This detailed comprehensive survival guide provides all the info you need to understand what no contact is, why it's necessary and effective, what they're thinking, breaking your pattern and understanding your compulsion, dealing with NC with co-workers or the parent of your child, how to stay the course, and get onto rebuilding your life so that you can move on.Natalie Lue is the author of the Bagage Reclaim blog and the ebook, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, which is a no holds barred guide to understanding emotionally unavailable men, the women that love them, and modern day dysfunctional relationships and the impact of self-esteem. With well over a 100K readers a month, her blog and ebooks have become a much needed source of support for people who have previously felt alone and mystified by their relationship and self-esteem issues.

It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self


Hilary Jacobs Hendel - 2018
      Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions.   Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.   In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike   • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.   Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

Complaint Free Relationships: Transforming Your Life One Relationship at a Time


Will Bowen - 2009
    It's easy to feel connected by common annoyances. But most complaining is about people, and this leads to negative and unhealthy foundations for our relationships with others--from family, lovers and friends to our more casual connections with people in our daily lives. Complaint-Free Relationships provides insight and helpful tools to see, understand, and engage in our relationships through the lens of complaint-free living. It incorporates new studies about complaining, inspiring and illuminating stories from Will Bowen's experience both as a minister and founder of the Complaint Free movement, and practical exercises at the end of each chapter.      By providing the tools you need to escape the trap complaining creates--feeling unfulfilled and inadequate--Complaint-Free Relationships offers new clarity and encourages you to create happy, stimulating and mutually satisfying relationships.From the Hardcover edition.

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence


Gavin de Becker - 1996
    The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including how to act when approached by a stranger, when you should fear someone close to you, what to do if you are being stalked, how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls, the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person, and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.

The Man's Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the "Love Lab" About What Women Really Want


John M. Gottmanسارا فیض - 2016
    Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man?Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love.

The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits To Help You Determine Your Life Partner


Stephan Labossiere - 2017
    However, there are some steps that need to be taken in order for him to receive you and for you to receive him. The Man God Has For You: 7 Traits to Help You Determine Your Life Partner is a guide not just to help determine if the man of your interest is the right one, but also to help you get down to the nitty gritty of any underlying issues that may prevent you from recognizing if this man is truly for you. This guide will tackle 3 key points: • Address the misconception of not enough men, the idea of settling, as well as the most popular prayer women pray. • Give 7 essential traits to determine if the man you seek is the one God intended for you. • Provide guidance on how to heal from your past and be open to the possibilities of embracing love. This isn’t another “how to get a man” guide. This dating and relationship book will assist you with looking deeper within to remove any excess baggage, as well as assess the ways you’ve gone about seeking the man who is for you. A compliment to GOD Where’s My Boaz, The Man God Has For You will help you prepare and position yourself to receive the man who is waiting to receive you.

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words


Patricia Love - 2007
    Don't make a man feel like a woman by talking to him like you would your girlfriend.

How to Forgive...When You Don't Feel Like It


June Hunt - 2007
    Rather than let go, we cling to our rocks of resentment, our boulders of bitterness. The result? We struggle under the weight of unforgiveness.Though we know God has called us to forgive others, we find ourselves asking: What if it hurts too much to forgive? What if the other person isn't sorry? How can I let someone off the hook for doing something so wrong?Biblical counselor June Hunt has been there herself, enabling her to speak from experience as she offers biblical help and hope with heartfelt compassion. If you've been pinned down under a landslide of pain, here's how to find true freedom through forgiveness.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance


Joshua Harris - 1996
    In I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Joshua Harris exposes the "Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating" and offers a realistic outline of how to have a biblical vision of marriage. Harris contends that one must begin with a new attitude, viewing love, purity, and singleness from God's perspective rather than thinking that love and romance are to be enjoyed "solely for recreation." In such well-named chapters as "Guarding Your Heart" and "What Matters at Fifty," Harris encourages the reader to look at one's character rather than reveling in infatuation, to regard love as a truly selfless, biblical act rather than a feeling. He refutes the concept that we are victims of "falling in love" (that it is beyond our control), saying that "God wants us to seek guidance from scriptural truth, not feeling. Smart love looks beyond personal desires and the gratification of the moment. It looks at the big picture: serving others and glorifying God." Before you roll your eyes, moaning that this sounds terribly unromantic, know that Harris does a superb job of couching his convictions in the sincere belief that if we are purposeful in our singleness and date with integrity, a fulfilled marriage awaits us--in God's timing. --Jill Heatherly

Tormenting Thoughts and Secret Rituals: The Hidden Epidemic of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder


Ian Osborn - 1998
    Sherry was terrified of her thoughts about stabbing her baby daughter.... Jeff couldn't silence a mental voice urging him to have sex with men and animals....Howard Hughes had it. So did historical figures Martin Luther and Ignatius of Loyola. They all suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)--as do over five million Americans who need to know that there is now hope and help. Ian Osborn, M.D., a specialist in OCD and a sufferer himself, has written the first comprehensive book on the experience, diagnosis, and treatment of OCD. He reveals recent discoveries about the disease as a biological disorder--a physical, not a psychological abnormality--and the exciting new therapies that have dramatically changed the future for OCD sufferers.His wise, compassionate book includes: Pencil-and-paper tests for self-diagnosis Six steps to conquering OCD Medication that works Early signs that show OCD in children Guidelines for family members A comprehensive listing of where to find organizations and support groups--and more

How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love


Logan Ury - 2021
    Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

The Bingo Theory: A revolutionary guide to love, life, and relationships.


Mimi Ikonn - 2016
    Men are not from Mars and Women are not from Venus. We are all from Planet Earth.The traditional view of masculine and feminine energy is very black and white. If you are a woman, you are considered to be feminine, and similarly if you are a man, you are considered to be masculine. This outdated and inadequate mindset has lead to a tremendous imbalance both internally in our lives, as well as externally in our world.The Bingo Theory breaks through this traditional gender-polarized idea of a man and a woman, by providing a new fresh view and understanding of masculine and feminine energies and the important role both of these energies play in our lives.Every single human on this planet has two energies living within them: the masculine and the feminine. The masculine energy helps us to operate in the outer world; it makes us strong, independent, and confident. The feminine energy, on the other hand, helps us love and connect to others. It's what makes us creative and intuitive.In this book you will learn how to balance the masculine and feminine energies within you so that you can be a Bingo. What is a Bingo? A Bingo is a winning combination of both masculine and feminine energies. This inner balance is crucial in order to have a better relationship with yourself, attract your perfect romantic partner, improve your existing relationship, as well as have a fulfilling career.In this book you will:* Discover the groundbreaking medical research that has proven that, biologically, we are all a blend of masculine and feminine strengths.* Take a quiz that helps you to determine if your strength energy is masculine or feminine. This alone is a huge eye opener. It will allow you to see clearly what amazing strengths you posses and will also highlight the areas you need to work on.* Learn simple, actionable tips to help you balance your energies.* Learn how to attract a Bingo relationship if you are single.* Learn how to transform your existing relationships (whether romantic or otherwise) using the principles of masculine and feminine energies.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men


Shaunti Feldhahn - 2004
    Based rigorous research with thousands of men, Shaunti delivers one revelation after another , including:- Why your respect means more to him than your love.- How he feels deep inside about his role as provider.- What it means for a man to be so visually "wired."- Why sex for him is primarily emotional, not physical.- What he most wishes he could say to you.