For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    He covers all the important things: dating, working, eating, fighting gorillas, the impossible physics of toothpaste, the family history of a sock drawer, and so much more.Basically, all the big life questions that you didn’t realise needed answering.

    CHILL as Lady Deadpool and Headpool try to find the root cause of their majorly abusive frenemieship. Then THRILL as Kidpool and Dogpool embark on a 100-ton mechanized joy ride and and uhm...GET ILL as Dogpool makes a brand-new archenemy. Then it's 'Two Mutants and a Baby' in the untold story of how Cable escaped from Alaska with Hope. Wait -- You don't think Cable did that alone, did you? PLUS: Deadpool struggles to find the perfect way to honor his pal Cable.

    Take it with you wherever your jet-setting life may lead you - and enjoy the adventures of a 10-year-old software billionaire, his pet duck and the grandfather that raises them both. It's a wonderful mix of everyday family humor, pop culture references and the surreal!

    Always together—and sometimes with their fellow funny-page characters—the regular Pearls clan weighs in on everything from modern technology to current events to human nature. All the members of the skewed gang are here as Zebra engages in a never-ending war of neighborly hate with the Crocs. As always, Goat offers a voice of reason amid the ongoing chaos that Pastis creates, either from behind the pen or as a character within the strip itself. Includes all cartoons from the collections I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream Because Puns Suck and Floundering Fathers.

    Originally published by Palliard Press.

    Not only is he a smart student, but he is also an extreme biker with extraordinary technique. Trail his bike to encounter his friends, loves, and adventures.Chapters 01-14

    The Battle for Gobwin Knob tells the story of obsessive strategy gamer Parson Gotti, who is magically summoned into a gamelike fantasy universe and forced to command an army in an all-too-real war.

    His story of three friends at university lightly flavored with the occult features some of the best dialogue in comics, and we couldn't help but think it's like Monty Python goes to college. Sign us up! WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT: John Allison's daily webcomics are hilarious, the kind of strips where every panel makes you laugh out loud. As a result, John has earned a large, loyal following of readers that have followed his work daily for the past 12 years. This is a series fans of things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scott Pilgrim, or Gunnerkrigg Court will not want to miss. WHAT IT'S ABOUT: Susan, Esther, and Daisy started at university three weeks ago and became fast friends because their dorm rooms were next to each other. Now, away from home for the first time, all three want to reinvent themselves. But in the face of hand-wringing boys, "personal experimentation," influenza, mystery-mold, nu-chauvinism, and the willful, unwanted intrusion of "academia," they may be lucky just to make it to spring alive.

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    He thought he understood the way the world worked, but now, as a sacrificial lamb of the credit crunch he finds himself drifting... drifting into the clutches of the ever resourceful Pete who could find the angle in a Fairy Liquid bubble... and into the arms of the enigmatic hippy girl, Astrid, who’s about to introduce Tony to rabbits, magic caves and the joys of mushrooms. eBook of the Month Club describes ‘The Return of the Hippy’ as “The funniest and most heart warming novel of the year.”

    The colors are delicately applied, a visual feast. In short, not only is this tome exemplary of the cartoonist's art, it is similarly an exemplar of the printer's. A well-made book." - Comics Buyer's Guide, on MUTTS' first Sunday treasury, MUTTS SundaysMUTTS is known for its straight-forward, delightful artwork, its positive messages, and, of course, the antics of its charming furry protagonists, Earl the dog and Mooch the cat. But MUTTS has also garnered praise for its creative and colorful Sunday strips.Sunday Mornings is a collection of MUTTS Sunday strips hand-picked by creator Patrick McDonnell. Monday through Saturday, readers of every generation have wide-ranging reasons why they love MUTTS. But Sunday is a special visual adventure. The logo panel is almost a strip unto itself, often paying homage to cartooning of yesteryear, with Mooch and Earl in a comic book cover tribute or parodying a strip from decades gone by. Some readers may have never seen the logo panel, since they are sometimes dropped for space. Those cheated readers, as well as those who have come to love MUTTS' special Sunday full-color strips, will cherish this vibrant collection.

    How nice it would be, he thought, if that squirrel could be my friend. So he jotted down a few lines to that effect and displayed his creative endeavor on the fridge, which is where his friend Graham Roumieu spotted it. Roumieu illustrated these meandering thoughts and urged Taylor to do more. The rest, as they say, is history. "A Really Super Book About Squirrels" is a quirky little humor book that combines art and words into a collection that will appeal to both the squirrel lovers and squirrel haters among us. It's a tongue-in-cheek tribute to that backyard rodent that we really want to like.

    And it's little wonder why. The story follows infiltration expert Solid Snake as he attempts to save the world.In addition to showcasing art from Ashley Wood's graphic novel adaptations of Metal Gear Solid and Metal Gear Solid: Sons of Liberty, this all-new collection features the work Ash did for the Metal Gear Solid: Mobile Portable Ops video game.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.