On a hundred-mile front across the Northern fringes of the Empire, the defenses of man and his dwarf allies are crumbling, fear threatens to become panic, and the blood of martyrs runs ankle-deep. Here begins the hopeless quest of a ramshackle band led by a mere Greatsword Sergeant Franz Vogel. Vogel must unite his disparate band of men, mages and dwarfs to take the battle to the forces of Chaos that routed them -- but first they must first survive the secrets, both sacred and profane lurking within the primordial forest to which they fled! Will Vogel and his band find deliverance - or eternal damnation!

    « Funny Jokes » is one of the best compilations of jokes in English that will surely hold your attention. In this book you can find all sorts of jokes that will amuse you and will create a good mood for you. Have fun reading these hilarious jokes!

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    Welcome to the Adventure Zone!SEE! The illustrated exploits of three lovable dummies set loose in a classic fantasy adventure!READ! Their journey from small-time bodyguards to world-class artifact hunters!MARVEL! At the sheer metafictional chutzpah of a graphic novel based on a story created in a podcast where three dudes and their dad play a tabletop role playing game in real time!Join Taako the elf wizard, Merle the dwarf cleric, and Magnus the human warrior for an adventure they are poorly equipped to handle AT BEST, guided ("guided") by their snarky DM, in a graphic novel that, like the smash-hit podcast it's based on, will tickle your funny bone, tug your heartstrings, and probably pants you if you give it half a chance.With endearingly off-kilter storytelling from master goofballs Clint McElroy and the McElroy brothers, and vivid, adorable art by Carey Pietsch, The Adventure Zone: Here There be Gerblins is the comics equivalent of role-playing in your friend's basement at 2am, eating Cheetos and laughing your ass off as she rolls critical failure after critical failure.

    You’ve read both Dungeon Master’s guides. You’ve run a few games. You pick up ideas here and there on the net. Or maybe you're an old grizzled vet who has run games for 20 years.Maybe your game is feeling a little stale. Maybe your encounters didn’t run exactly as you wanted them too. Maybe you feel like you're stuck in a rut. Maybe you feel a bit overwhelmed when you have to come up with an exciting, creative game every week.You’re not looking for a huge tome on game theory. You don’t need yet another take on world-building. You’re looking for some practical tips you can use today to help you focus your energy in the right places and make some kick-ass D&D games for you and your friends. You want something you can read quick and start using right away.My friend, here is the book for you.This book was written to give you solid usable tips to help you build your story, design exciting encounters, and run a great game when you’re at the table. It’s a short book, designed to be read quickly and referenced often.Oh yeah, and it’s got some awesome original artwork by Jared Von Hindman of Head Injury Theater.This is a completely original book. Every chapter was written from scratch to help you focus on what’s important and get past some of the roadblocks we all face when designing a D&D game.

    In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

    The city lies under the dark cloud of the Troubles, and hatred fills the air like smoke. But Tony Macaulay has just turned twelve and he’s got a new job. He’s going to be a paperboy. And come rain or shine – or bombs and mortar – he will deliver…Paperboy lives in Upper Shankill, Belfast, in the heart of the conflict between Loyalists and Republicans. Bombings are on the evening news, rubble lies where buildings once stood, and rumours spread like wildfire about the IRA and the UDA.But Paperboy lives in a world of Doctor Who, Top of the Pops and fish suppers. His battles are fought with all the passion of Ireland’s opposing sides – but against acne, the dentist and the ‘wee hoods’ who rob his paper money. On his rounds he hums songs by the Bay City Rollers, dreams about outer space and dreams even more about the beautiful Sharon Burgess.In this touching, funny and nostalgic memoir, Tony Macaulay recounts his days growing up in Belfast during the Troubles, the harrowing years which saw neighbour fighting neighbour and brother fighting brother. But in the midst of all this turmoil, Paperboy, a scrappy upstart with a wicked sense of humour and sky-high dreams, dutifully goes about his paper round. He is a good paperboy, so he is.Paperboy proves that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times; it is a story that will charm your socks off, make you laugh out loud and brings to life the culture, stories and colourful characters of a very different – but very familiar – time.

    They didn’t come for oil or minerals, but us. They collected our strongest warriors and shipped them off to a world called Hadran—a one-of-a-kind artificial planet, a cosmic gladiatorial arena where the slave races engage in blood sports for the Great Ones' entertainment. But Earth has lost the last of its real champions and now risks losing its candidate status. If that happens, it will become less than a slave colony, a target to be cleansed. Clint Rogan is a man fighting to survive in this new world. After a series of unfortunate events, he's ripped from his home, shipped off-world, and forcibly merged with a faulty symbiote. Power, speed, endurance, and the drive to kill are all at his fingertips. That is, if Sarien, his symbiote, doesn’t kill him first. Dropped into Terraria One, Clint and the other human contestants discover the human starting zone resembles the middle ages. With humanity’s fate in the balance, Clint and the newcomers first need to rebuild the base, conquer the surrounding territory, and fight off alien enemies. Can they survive long enough to give Earth a fighting chance? Or will the Battle World consume them just like the others before them?

    The Burning Wheel is an award winning fantasy roleplaying game in which player take on the roles of vibrant, dynamic characters whose very beliefs propel the story forward.

    The heroes must bring the devastating War of the Lance to its end and drive back Takhisis, Queen of Darkness. This all-new version of the classic TSR adventure has been completely revised, drawing on twenty years of Dragonlance history, incorporating material most recently featured in the Silver Anniversary edition of the adventures. It includes new character statistics featuring the popular Heroes of the Lance.

    In his inimitable style, Snoopy spends his days extolling the virtues of dancing, hanging out with his best bird friend Woodstock, pursuing a full supper dish and giving his owner - our favourite lovable loser, Charlie Brown - the run-around. For the millions of faithful Charles Schulz fans, and those who fondly remember the joyful dog with the wild imagination, this is the first in a new series to cherish that will see the beguiling Peanuts gang share their sentiments on everything from food to friendship.

    Gaimon gathers the best of his popular Q&A column—and pokes fun at his younger self.Despite the howling protests from his peers, no one’s ever been more willing to spill the beans on what it’s really like inside the pro cycling peloton than the sarcastic scribe Phil Gaimon. Building on the outrageous success of his hilarious 2014 debut, Pro Cycling on $10 a Day: From Fat Kid to Euro Pro, Gaimon gathers the absolute gems from his monthly Q&A feature column in VeloNews magazine into his new book, Ask a Pro: Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America’s Foremost Cycling Sage, adding a dose of fresh commentary and even more acerbic and sharp-eyed insights. With six years of material to work with—including his incredible rise into the pro ranks, the devastating loss of his contract for 2015, and his bold return to the Big League—Gaimon covers every possible topic from the team dinner table to the toilet with plenty of stops along the way. Gaimon offers wise-ass (and sometimes earnest) answers to fan questions like: · How much chamois cream should I use?· I’ve started shaving my legs. How can I be accepted by my friends?· What do you do to protect yourself when you know you’re about to crash?· How many bikes does my husband really need?· What’s the best victory celebration? Do you practice yours?· In women’s cycling, what is the proper definition of a pro?· What do you say to someone if they honk or almost hit you?· Do you name your bikes?· What do pros think when they see a recreational cyclist in a full pro kit or riding a pro-level bike?· Can you take your bike apart and put it back together?· How bad does the weather have to be to call off a training ride?· How do you know when it’s time to change a tire?· When you’re in a breakaway all day, do riders form a future friendship?· Riders keep complaining about "unsafe" weather at races. When did pro cyclists turn into such wussies?· How do the pros define a "crash"?Gaimon wields his outsider’s wit to cast a cock-eyed gaze at the peculiar manners, mores, and traditions that make the medieval sport of cycling so irresistible to watch. Ask a Pro includes new resources from Gaimon, too, including his Cookie Map of America, dubious advice on winning the race buffet, a cautionary guide for host housing, Phil’s pre-race warm-up routine, and a celebrity baker’s recipe for The Phil Cookie.

    Ex-players, close friends, journalists, managers and former colleagues reveal their astonishing brushes with the greatest football manager England never had. The stories are cherry-picked from two acclaimed books - 150BC: Cloughie the Inside Stories and Clough: Confidential. An additional 242 stories can be found in these two volumes. So, enter the whirlwind world of Old Big 'Ead and prepare to be entertained.

    He would choose as his minister the man who could keep a ram for one month without allowing it to lose or gain any weight. Jinadatta was a man who followed instructions blindly and found himself struggling with losses. These two characters feature in the two tales taken from Jain texts written in the 10th and 14th centuries.

    But the Clan forces they face also have new BattleMechs, as well as vehicles constructed with the Clans' vastly superior technology, and some other surprises. Technical Readout: 3060 contains illustrations and complete game statistics for the latest Inner Sphere and Clan BattleMechs, tanks, hovercraft, VTOLS, and more.