So far, Chloe’s teenage years have been good but boring, and she’s managed to go through life unnoticed—until the morning of her eighteenth birthday. One fateful birthday gift and a run in with a group of the school’s most popular kids later, Chloe finds that her small town life is anything but boring, and her destiny just got a whole lot more dangerous than she’d ever imagined.The descendant of the most powerful magical bloodline in history, Chloe has been Chosen. Together with her new friends, Chloe will find everything she thought she knew turned upside down in the wake of secrets, lies, and an unanticipated love triangle, all while she and five others descendants of the original Chosen fight to destroy a dark and powerful immortal—who has his eye set directly on Chloe.

    She must draw upon her strength and Kitsune gifts to ensure she survives or those she loves will suffer. With each passing day, her resolve begins to weaken and without Devyn to guide her, Karina wonders if she has made the biggest mistake of her life. Was all that she sacrifice worth the love she fought for? Will her spirit be broken? Snarled in a supernatural war, Karina is on a task to earn her next tail. Fans of Twilight, A Shade of Vampire, and Fallen will fall in love with First Shift, a short novel series. Prepare for a unique spin on the fae you love - and an adventure that is as thrilling as it is unexpected. Scroll up and buy now to begin... *This is a short novel series - each installment around 35k-45k in length*

    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    But now that the Imperium Titus has taken over, every ship sails on the edge of a knife. Young airman Cyprian Fields isn't one to turn away from danger. During his service as the deckmaster of an old freighter named Philomena, the arrival of mysterious young physician Basil Black and alluring stowaway Veronica Stromm turn the intrepid boy officer's world upside-down. Suddenly, Cyprian and Philomena's ragtag crew are thrown into a wonderful and perilous adventure that will take them to the furthest reaches of air, land, and sea. In the midst of whispering Silverspoons and murderous admirals, printing presses and aetherolabes, fleets and fortresses, Cyprian, Veronica, and Basil must decide whether they will face down the might of the Imperium or allow the doom descending on Cor Nova to overwhelm them all.

    They were happy times, but money was tight. Paddy slept on a mattress he dragged in from the street, and at 17 he struggled severely with the stress of juggling a college course and two jobs to support his beloved mum.But while cash may have been short, grit and wit were in over-supply, and this is the improbable true story of the lad who went from kipping in abandoned cars in Bolton to racing supercars on Top Gear, via laying concrete floors in prisons, a lively career in a leisure centre, a showbiz intervention by school pal Peter Kay and eye-popping adventures in the world of teledom.There has been mischief and misadventure, joy and sorry, huge success and unexpected challenges. It's a lifey well lived, and an unforgettable personal memoir written from the heart.

    This book gives students and teachers an excellent guide for handling a bully.

    With hilarious anecdotes and irreverent observations, Karo captures the twentysomething experience like never before and answers the question, "Is there life after college?" Featuring the very best of his world-renowned email column as well as brand-new material published here for the first time, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life details Karo's evolution from frat boy to manhood and explores the frenzied lives of a generation living in the strange and unique gap between college and marriage. With his trademark acerbic wit, Karo ruminates on everything from your first day on the job to the last call at the bar. Perfect for students about to get their first dose of reality, twentysomethings procrastinating at work, or anyone who wants to relive their glory days, this book is sure to have readers laughing out loud and nodding their heads in agreement that there is indeed life after college.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    11 years later when seemingly ordinary 16-year-old Lincoln runs away from yet another foster home, heading to his favoured spot in New York City, he is attacked by a dog, a monstrous three headed dog the size of a truck. Becoming marked, a string of attacks follow, only ending when he is saved by El, Ben, and AJ, a group of enhanced people known as Ascendants. Discovering the world is not as it seems, with Sorcerers, Nature Spirits and demonic monsters all hiding in plain sight, he learns that he is a long-lost Ascendant himself; discovering that the chain his father left him was at the centre of a conspiracy that resulted in his abandonment and his father’s subsequent disappearance.

    The rarest of gems, one capable of turning any mage into an unstoppable force of destruction. A gem found only in the empty lands surrounding the Tyber River. And now war has come. Endless war between Esteria and the native Tyberons, a savage and mysterious people who prowl the grass-covered land with spearpoints ready. Unable to end the conflict the Esterians rely on mercenaries to bolster their military, desperate men like Dain Gladstone, a disgraced Paladin. Dain dreams of a peaceful life, a quiet home of his own, and he’s willing to fight for it. The Esterians have a new plan to conquer their enemies. A bold expedition to strike into the heart of the Tyberons and Dain finds himself caught at its center. Can his dream survive the River of Spears?

    The monkey's cruel incarceration in a cage is avenged when the birds trick the Twits into believing the world has turned upside-down. The Twits join in, aided by the birds who drop glue on their hair, and the audience is encouraged to play their part in freeing the monkeys.

    Adventure awaits in the Five Kingdoms—come and claim it with all five books in the “fanciful, action-packed” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Fablehaven and Beyonders series.This complete collection of the bestselling Five Kingdoms series includes:Sky RaidersRogue KnightCrystal KeepersDeath WeaversFive Kingdoms #5

    The time: closer than we may realize.Unemployment is in high double-digits. The acrid stench of civil war smokes the air. The 1930s Great Depression all over . . . just a little more high-tech.Arch and Tess Uglias are blue-collar residents of the desolate Rust Belt city of Gary, Indiana. Arch, an unemployed auto-plant worker and ex-race car driver, and Tess, an unemployed nurse, are both staring homelessness and starvation in face.Meanwhile, Frank Regis, an aging disciple of the legendary bank robber Willie Sutton, is masterminding a string of bank robberies throughout Indiana. The Regis gang is a fractious collage of professional criminals, like Frank, and once law-abiding folks who have turned to crime out of desperation.After one of their drivers is killed during a getaway, the Regis gang goes in search of a replacement, a road that leads them to Arch Uglias. Though a law-abiding citizen and square guy his whole life, Arch, like some of the other gang members, feels compelled to take the wheel. And Tess becomes an outspoken, unwilling, uncooperative part of the package.From there, it’s a boisterous, bawdy and dangerous drive through a desperate world for the Regis gang, from the ruins of the Midwest to the ruins of the West Coast with ruthless law enforcement in pursuit and mistrust and murder blossoming among them. In the end, the war that has been raging at the edges suddenly draws them into its bloody vortex, leading to a fierce climax of double cross and desperate escape.“The Uglies,” an original screenplay by Thomas Burchfield (“Dragon’s Ark,” “Whackers”), drives the same perilous roads as such classics as “Bonnie and Clyde” and “The Getaway. It is a wild, bawdy, and action-packed saga about crime and pursuit, friendship and survival. It’s also the story of people who realize the need to stick together as the world around them falls to pieces.

    Offered for free by Apple and Touchstone, a trademark of Simon & Schuster Inc., contains selections from the two books mentioned in the title.