Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships


Mark A. Michaels - 2015
    These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.”Designer relationships may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; couples who consciously choose to be monogamous; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink.The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change. Relationships can open and close or have varying degrees and kinds of openness as circumstances demand. In the context of a designer relationship, decisions are made mutually, consciously, and deliberately.Designer Relationships will show you how to create the relationship that works for you, based on: · Free and enthusiastic choice.· Mutuality in defining the relationship and its structure.· Permission to consider all forms of relating.· Dedication to maintaining radical regard your partner(s).· Transparency about sexual history.Best-selling authors and nationally known relationship experts Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels are exemplars of this life choice. This book explains exactly how you and your loved ones can design your own life and love.Editorial ReviewsReview"Michaels and Johnson's latest book on Designer Relationships takes my book, The New Monogamy one step further, past communication skills about monogamy agreements and into new ways to be transparent about all types of revolutionary forms of commitment that will take us forward into the 21st Century. Where my book left off, theirs continues and includes all the information any couple could ever want or need to create loving, open partnerships. Where most books only offer history and data, Mark and Patricia give practical advice and ground rules for trust, empathy and intimacy for collaborative non-monogamous relationship. We all need a book like this that integrates good tips and techniques and the words to define what we want from a partner; the freedom to choose. Whatever you are looking for, it is in this book. Written by a couple who really love one another and are committed to their work, this book comes at the perfect time, I am convinced it will help a lot of people."–Dr. Tammy Nelson, Author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want"Thoughtful, honest and powerful! Reading this book is like rubbing a lamp to get your own Genie – but instead of magic, you’ll get practical guidance on how to create the relationship that’s ideal for you. Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson speak from experience, lead from the heart, and open a space for true sexual freedom."–– Ricci Joy Levy, Executive Director, The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance"Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels explore far beyond one-size-fits-all coupling to a rainbow of choices, showing us all that the only ways our relationships are supposed to be are the ways we choose with one beautifully stated guideline: “Keep kindness as your touchstone.”"–– Dossie Easton, Author of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures and Radical Ecstasy."How would you live and love if society, religion, and the media weren’t constantly “shoulding” all over you?" –– Jenny Block“Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson is an insightful read into the different types of sexual and romantic relationships, It debunks the myths that tell us there is one type that works for everyone. It also imparts wisdom on how to navigate relationships for whichever type you find yourself in. I found this book to be a great starter guide for designing relationships that work for you."–Dr. Martha Tara Lee, author of Love, Sex and Everything In Between"I would highly recommend Designer Relationships to any couple who wants to explore opening up and wants to strengthen their relationship."–Shervon Laurice, MS, LCPC, LPCFrom the foreword:"Designer Relationships is a guidebook for these changing times and what is now available to anyone with a computer, a modicum of curiosity, and the willingness to take a risk and explore."–Ken Haslam, founder, Polyamory Archives of the Kinsey Institute

Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape


Peggy Orenstein - 2016
    They’re also fearful about opening up a dialogue. Not Orenstein. A contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine and the New York Times best-selling author of books like Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Orenstein spoke to psychologists, academics, and other experts in the field and yes, 70 young women, to offer an in-depth picture of “girls and sex” today.

How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive


Kate Kinsey - 2014
    Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you're just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn't know you had. Erotic author Kate Kinsey ("Red," and "The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave") brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive. Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about "training" to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners. "Kinsey has written a no-nonsense guide that thoroughly explains the various kinks and fetishes that come under the umbrella of BDSM. Most importantly, she emphasizes the importance of protecting yourself along the way with knowledge, friends and self-awareness." "This is not fiction, but reality. Kate Kinsey has the experience to tell it like it is, not the way some vanilla writer imagines it to be."

Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm


Nicole Daedone - 2011
    Slow Sex can change that. Better sex is about one thing: better orgasm. This life-altering guide teaches men and women how to use the practice of Orgasmic Meditation-or OM-to slow down, connect emotionally, and achieve authentic female sexual satisfaction. The promise: In just fifteen minutes every woman can become orgasmic. And, with the right partner and the right technique, that orgasm could last and last! For more than a decade, Nicole Daedone has been leading the "slow sex movement," which is devoted to the art and craft of the female orgasm. OM is the act of slowing down, tuning in, and experiencing a deeper spiritual and physical connection during sex. Slow Sex reveals the philosophy and techniques of OM and includes a step-by-step, ten-day OM starter program, as well as OM secrets for achieving ultimate satisfaction. It also includes exercises to help enhance readers' "regular" sex lives, such as Slow Oral for Her, Slow Oral for Him, and Slow Intercourse. This book is the argument for daily intimacy, and for paying attention as the foundation of pleasure, all with a focus on the female experience.

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships


Harriet Lerner - 1989
    Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man


Dan Anderson - 1997
    Grunting males have offered little help or guidance for their eager-to-learn companions, instead occupying themselves with chest thumping, sports on cable and other testosterone-driven posturing. It took eons of Darwinian development for women to realize that the answers to their many questions were as close as the nearest telephone. Who better to unveil the mysteries of the he-man psyche that a woman's best friend, the master of clever and refined thinking, the gay man? He knows exactly when, where and how to elicit that ultimate ooh-ooh, because he knows all too well what he wants.Enter Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman, whose biologically determined friendship transcends the battle of the sexes, freeing them to dish and compare notes. Their guide to male pleasure, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man, is the culmination of their intensive lifelong survey on the subject. Two fearless and dedicated scholars, Dan and Maggie bucked the system, at times even descending into the trenches themselves. Now the wisdom gained from the years of devoted scholarship can finally be divulged to the heterosexual public.Sex Tips contains such highly classified man-pleasers as:The Flying Wallenda PositionThe Upstanding CitizenThe Princeton Belly RubTinglersBackslidersCombo PlattersSo, if you hunger to be the most dazzling lover on the planet, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man will give you the inside track on how to drive your man to new heights of ecstasy. Double your pleasure, double your fun—and double the new ways he'll find to thank you.What the man in your life won't tell you . . . but wants you to knowHe knows what he wants . . . now you will too!Foolproof First Moves!"Wait a second . . . let me get that thread off your pants" or "Wow, you've been working out. Make a muscle."Tips on Grips! You want to hold a Diet Coke, but you don't want to crush the can and why you should have refrigerated cookie dough on hand the next time the girls come over.Powerful Discoveries! "The Princeton Belly Rub"—what they really teach you in the Ivy League.Magic Techniques! Up, Twist, Over and Down . . . The stroke that'll have more men fighting for you than for Helen of Troy"You'll have the confidence of knowing that you were the best thing in bed he's ever had and, remember, it's the toe-tingler that gets the tennis bracelet."

A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis


David M. Friedman - 2001
    Here, in an enlightening and entertaining cultural study, is a book that puts into context the central role of the penis within Western civilization. Deified by ancient pagan cultures and demonized by the early Roman church, the penis was later secularized by pioneering anatomists such as Leonardo da Vinci. After being measured 'scientifically' in an effort to subjugate some races while elevating others, the organ was psychoanalysed by Sigmund Freud. Now, after being politicized by feminism and exploited in countless ways by pop culture, Friedman shows how the arrival of erection industry products such as Viagra is more than a health or business story. It is the latest chapter in one of the longest sagas in human history: the story of man's relationship with his penis.

Women's Anatomy Of Arousal: Secret Maps To Buried Pleasure


Sheri Winston - 2009
    We're not just talking about Ye Olde G-Spot here. Women have an entire erectile network that, if properly stimulated, can elevate their erotic experience from "Oh!" to "Oh! Oh! Oh!"Join celebrated sexuality teacher Sheri Winston as she integrates ancient wisdom, lost knowledge and modern sexuality information in a sexy, fun, empowering guidebook that illuminates every woman's secret paths to fabulous, orgasmically abundant sex. Whether you're a woman or a man who loves women, this book is for you! When people apply the information and techniques she provides, the result is often a whole new level of sexual pleasure. Many women experience their first ejaculations and/or become multi- or mega-orgasmic. Men learn how to make their female partner REALLY happy.Women's Anatomy of Arousal includes discussions of anatomy and energetics, female ejaculation and expanded orgasm, and much more.There's even a short chapter for guys ("The Easy Girl's Guide to Making It Easy for Guys") summarizing the main points of the book!ingston, NY-based Center for the Intimate Arts.

Evolution's Rainbow: Diversity, Gender, and Sexuality in Nature and People


Joan Roughgarden - 2004
    A distinguished evolutionary biologist, Roughgarden takes on the medical establishment, the Bible, social science—and even Darwin himself. She leads the reader through a fascinating discussion of diversity in gender and sexuality among fish, reptiles, amphibians, birds, and mammals, including primates. Evolution's Rainbow explains how this diversity develops from the action of genes and hormones and how people come to differ from each other in all aspects of body and behavior. Roughgarden reconstructs primary science in light of feminist, gay, and transgender criticism and redefines our understanding of sex, gender, and sexuality. Witty, playful, and daring, this book will revolutionize our understanding of sexuality.Roughgarden argues that principal elements of Darwinian sexual selection theory are false and suggests a new theory that emphasizes social inclusion and control of access to resources and mating opportunity. She disputes a range of scientific and medical concepts, including Wilson's genetic determinism of behavior, evolutionary psychology, the existence of a gay gene, the role of parenting in determining gender identity, and Dawkins's "selfish gene" as the driver of natural selection. She dares social science to respect the agency and rationality of diverse people; shows that many cultures across the world and throughout history accommodate people we label today as lesbian, gay, and transgendered; and calls on the Christian religion to acknowledge the Bible's many passages endorsing diversity in gender and sexuality. Evolution's Rainbow concludes with bold recommendations for improving education in biology, psychology, and medicine; for democratizing genetic engineering and medical practice; and for building a public monument to affirm diversity as one of our nation's defining principles.

Girl on the Net: My Not-So-Shameful Sex Secrets


Girl on the Net - 2013
    You might know me from my blog. This is some stuff I do with my life. Why did I write an erotic memoir? The most obvious answer is ‘because I’m a pervert’ – I like sex; I like talking about it, reading about it, doing it, watching other people do it, and hearing other people’s stories. This is my story. Don’t read it if you’re going to be offended by whips, submission or lots of sex. Who am I? Not telling. And if you think you know, please don’t spoil the secret…

Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation


Olivia Judson - 2002
    It explains all this and much more. It discloses the best time to have a sex change, how to have a virgin birth, when to seduce your sisters or eat your lover. Quirky and brilliant, it takes as its starting point all creatures great and small worried about their bizarre sex lives, and the letters they write to the wise Dr Tatiana, the only agony aunt in all creation with a prodigious knowledge of both natural history and evolutionary biology.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex


Angela Chen - 2020
    Among those included are the woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that "not wanting sex" was a sign of serious illness, and the man who grew up in an evangelical household and did everything "right," only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Also represented are disabled aces, aces of color, non-gender-conforming aces questioning whether their asexuality is a reaction against stereotypes, and aces who don't want romantic relationships asking how our society can make room for them.

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love


Dedeker Winston - 2017
    The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory incorporates interviews and real-world advice from women of all ages in nontraditional relationships, as well as exercises for building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing and eliminating jealousy. Chapters include:Polyamory: What It Is and What It Isn’tThe Biggest Question: JealousyThe Second Biggest Question: SexSmart Girl SkillsLand of Love-Craft: Crafting Your Relationships from the Ground UpIf you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to “come out” as polyamorous, this book covers it all!Whether you're a seasoned graduate, a timid freshman, or somewhere in between, you'll learn how to discover and craft unique relationships that are healthy, happy, sexy, and tailor-made for you. Because when it comes to your love life, being a know-it-all is actually a great thing to be.

Coming Out Like a Porn Star: Essays on Pornography, Protection, and Privacy


Jiz LeeChristopher Zeischegg - 2015
    Coming Out Like a Porn Star presents over 50 first-hand accounts peppered with wit and wisdom about "coming out” (or not) to loved ones and community. While some denounce pornography as immoral and others praise its sex-positive liberation, the ways in which performers “come out” about doing porn — or the great lengths they take to avoid it — say a lot about how society views those at the public frontline of sexuality. "This revealing, moving, and often surprising collection lets you go deep inside the lives of generations of porn stars and explicit performers. It’s an absolute must-read for anyone interested in sex industry politics, sex-positive culture, and porn studies — and for anyone whose friend, lover, or family member has taken their pants off in front of a camera. One after the other, these memoirs add up to a powerful, if ironic, conclusion: Porn stigma is the biggest problem many adult performers face, and it is at least as likely to come from our feminist moms as from prudish conservatives. Once you’ve heard the clear, articulate voices of these porn stars, you’ll never look at a sex movie, or the people who make it happen, the same way again."— Carol Queen, PhD and author of Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage


Two Knotty Boys - 2006
    D., began teaching rope bondage together in 1999, they discovered that most people learn best when they're shown — close up, step by step, and repeatedly — how to tie basic knots and combine them into bondage techniques. It is this learning process that they duplicate in this book. With the help of world-renowned photographer Larry Utley, they use over 750 photos and captions to explicate the soup-to-nuts techniques for turning great knots into great bondage that is safe, sensual, attractive, and effective. Readers can learn at their own pace, review whole techniques at a single glance, or even lay it flat on the table (beside their blindfolded partner) and follow along as they tie. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes appeals to those interested in improving the quality of their sex lives, not to mention aficionados of bondage and discipline/sadomasochism (BDSM), both curious newcomers and serious players alike.