Or, maybe, we sent a text message to the wrong number, every one of us has sent a text or two we didn’t mean. Phones these days should come with a warning, 'Don't drink and text.' Many of us have been there, a few drinks down, high on life but the bar has closed, and you want to continue the party, consequently ending up with a pile of drunk texts and a feeling of shame.Suddenly your ex, or that girl in the office you have been mildly flirting with and exchanging funny texts with, seems like just the person who would love to join you for one last drink. Tongue out, one eye open, the other squinting with concentration while you jab awkwardly at the screen with your index finger, you marvel at the poetry of a funny drunk text you are capable of when the inhibitions of basic social decency are gone.If you are lucky, there is no reply to your text message fail, and you fall asleep, to awake the next day with nothing but a hangover and a tinge of embarrassment when you realize what you wrote.Either way, these texts messages always end up hilarious and embarrassing, depending on which side you’re on, our text conversion becomes funny beyond any limits, luckily our smartphones have option to capture them as a snapshot. And that is exactly what all of the following people did in order for the rest of us to enjoy what are easily some of the funniest text messages you’ll ever lay your eyes on. So do not hesitate to grab your copy NOW! Go on. Read ’em and laugh. Enjoy

    When the supply train doesn't arrive, Almanzo Wilder and his brother realize something must be done. They begin an impossible journey in search of provisions, before it's too late.

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    Three hundred years ago, Max passed that test with flying colors and joined the afterlife resolving never again to have innocent blood on his hands. Now a successful Demonic Intervention Agent, Max has been given the job of breaking Felicity Woodsen's family curse. But what she doesn't know, what Max can't bring himself to tell her, is that completing his mission almost certainly means her death.When Felicity inherits her mother's coven, she learns each firstborn Woodsen daughter must become the consort of an evil-arch demon. Felicity's only hope is to ally with the mysteriously charming Max. But is saving her body from one demon worth the price of risking her soul with another?Arch-Demon Roxashael landed in Hell when his Roman captors sent his family, one by one to be devoured by lions. The lesson was clear: power is good; lots of power is better. Two-thousand years later, Rocky has power. He's purchased hundreds of souls, and he's created the Minsk Homunculus, a magic artifact that, by binding a human witch as his consort, places him above the goody-two-shoes laws of karma.But Rocky made a mistake. He fell in love with Felicity's mother and in a moment of weakness promised to give up his demon-consort charm. Now Felicity's mother is dead, the Minsk Homunculus is slated for destruction, and Rocky's power as an arch-demon is about to end.No demon can break a promise. If Rocky refuses to give up the Minsk Homunculus, he'll become the lowest, most abject slave in Hell.But then, why break promises when they're so easy to corrupt?*Caution: This book contains violence, strong sexual themes, moderately explicit sex between consenting adults, (unfulfilled) threats against children, and one completely gratuitous reference to unicorns. Not intended for readers under 18.

    We see the world of idealistic young people who are trying to change the world for the better -- world of happy people who are never sick. The plot is concentrated about the life of microbiologists and doctors...Amazon Customer's Review

    This satirical novel tells the story of the surgical transformation of a dog into a man, and is an obvious criticism of Soviet society, especially the new rich that arose after the Bolshevik revolution.

    G. Wodehouse Biography NovelsThe Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertA Damsel in DistressThe Coming of BillThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the Reckless or The Little WarriorThe Little NuggetLove Among the Chickens Illustrated by Armand BothMike Illustrated by T. M. R. WhitwellMike and PsmithA Man of MeansMy Man JeevesNot George Washington. An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe PothuntersA Prefect's UncleThe Prince and BettyPsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherWilliam Tell Told Again Illustrated by Philip Dadd Stories Collections Death At The ExcelsiorJeeves Takes Charge and Other Stories The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesThe Politeness of Princes and Other School Stories StoriesAhead of Schedule Archibald's BenefitAt Geisenheimer's The Autograph Hunters The Best SauceBill the BloodhoundBlack for LuckBy Advice of Counsel Concealed Art A Corner in Lines Crowned Heads Death at the ExcelsiorDeep WatersDisentangling Old Duggie Extricating Young Gussie The Goal-Keeper and the Plutocrat The Good Angel The Guardian An International Affair In AlcalaJeeves and the Chump Cyril Jeeves in the Springtime Jeeves Takes Charge The Making of Mac's The Man, the Maid, and the Miasma The Man with Two Left FeetThe Man Upstairs The Man Who Disliked CatsThe Mixer Misunderstood One Touch of Nature Out of School Pillingshot, Detective The Politeness of Princes Pots O'Money The Romance of an Ugly Policeman Rough-Hew Them How We WillRuth in Exile A Sea of Troubles Shields' And the Cricket Cup Sir Agravaine a Tale of King Arthur's Round Table Something to Worry About The Test Case Tom, Dick, and Harry Three from Dunsterville The Tuppenny Millionaire When Doctors Disagree When Papa Swore in Hindustani Wilton's Holiday ArticlesSome Aspects of Game-Captaincy An Unfinished Collection The New AdvertisingThe Secret Pleasures of Reginald My Battle with Drink In Defense of AstigmatismPhotographers and Me A Plea for Indoor Golf The Alarming Spread of Poetry My Life As a Dramatic Critic The Agonies of Writing a Musical Comedy On the Writing of Lyrics The Past Theatrical Season PoemsDamon and Pythias The Haunted Tram

    Barricaded in a bar called Tony's while a riot rages outside, the characters that people The Assault on Tony's are united by their desire to drink to the end, no matter what the consequences. In this stark and darkly humorous novel, social alliances are forged and challenged as each member of this macabre party ignores his fears in favor of keeping his tumbler full to the brim. As time goes on and the liquor supply starts to dwindle, the novel reaches a gritty intensity as it exposes the highs and lows of the human spirit.

    Almost.In a couple of years, she’ll be the CEO of the company she’s spent most of her adult life working in. For now, though, she’s still busy shimmying up the greasy pole of corporate business. She’s single, carefree, and independent, and nothing can stop her getting what she wants and deserves.Until she discovers she’s pregnant.Determined to have her cake and eat it, she’s convinced that having a baby will make little difference to her life, and that she will be one of those women who can hold down an incredibly demanding job and also be a perfect mother.But as her pregnancy progresses and her life slowly falls apart, she has the sneaking suspicion that Max Oakland, the new guy on the block, is out to steal her dream job. That she’s terribly attracted to him doesn’t help, nor does the fact that he’s devilishly handsome, appears to be a really nice fella, and is good in a crisis.When she gradually comes to realise that something has got to give, what she doesn’t want it to be is her heart

    TALKING WITH GODIn Don Camillo's Little World, where the Cold War is fought on the very doorstep of life, the hot-headed Catholic priest and the equally pugnacious Communist mayor, Peppone, confront one another in riotous and often hilarious manner.But when Don Camillo unburdens himself in the village church a voice from the cross above the high altar responds and his conversations with Il Cristo begin. We watch and listen, as with fascinating insights and gentle humour the prejudices of the stubborn priest are undermined, a resolution to conflict emerges, and the situation is transformed to the benefit of the community.It is then that we see that the ideas and values of Don Camillo's Little World are true for all times, the world over...Inimitable, delicious, full of pure fun THE OBSERVERIn this brand new, authorised edition of Giovanni Guareschi's enchanting classic, nineteen stories never before translated into English are published for the first time. Set in an isolated village amidst the sultry beauty of Italy s Lower Plain, The Little World of Don Camillo has been enjoyed by countless folk from 10 to 100, not only in book form, but also on film, TV and radio, and most recently as an audio-book.

    The Underminer makes you feel suicidal. But the Underminer is your friend...Mike Albo and Virginia Heffernan do us all a public service by capturing the elusive evils of an age-old archetype. To understand and resist your toxic friend, you need The Underminer.

    This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is culturally important, and despite the imperfections, have elected to bring it back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide. We appreciate your understanding of the imperfections in the preservation process, and hope you enjoy this valuable book.

    Open at your own risk. Sarah and Tommy have the same kinds of problems as most any ten-year-old girl and six-year-old boy. Homework, bullies, Dad not going in to work since Mom ran off to fuck the postman. That sort of thing. But they're not going to take their problems lying down. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, they think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley. What they discover will make you soil your pants in terror. It will make your skin crawl. It might even give you... Shingles.

    Yet, when it comes to diagnosing difficult cases, the clinician’s strongest asset might just be one of the oldest tools of the medical profession—careful listening. True Medical Detective Stories is a fascinating compendium of nineteen true-life medical cases, each solved by clinical deduction and facilitated by careful listening. These accounts present puzzling low-tech cases—most of them serious, some humorous—that were solved either at the bedside or by epidemiological studies. Dr. Clifton Meador’s book is a wonderful contribution to the genre of medical detective stories mastered by the legendary Berton Roueché. As a staff writer at The New Yorker from 1944 until his death fifty years later, Roueché popularized this form, which has provided source material for feature films and most recently supplied scenarios featured in medical television dramas, such as House. While Hollywood frequently oversimplifies and elides the real clinical situations, True Medical Detective Stories sets the record straight with a voice of authority and an engaging style rooted in the fact that most of the cases presented involve Dr. Meador’s actual patients. Dr. Meador discovered Berton Roueché’s writing as a teenager, when he first read Eleven Blue Men. In an astonishing twist of fate, Roueché, in later years, traveled to Nashville to meet with Dr. Meador and discuss one of his cases, with Roueché’s account published posthumously under the title, The Man Who Grew Two Breasts. In a fitting tribute to Roueché, this perplexing case is revisited by Dr. Meador in the opening chapter of this highly enjoyable book. True Medical Detective Stories is a captivating read that will keep you marveling over the idiosyncrasies of the human body and the ingenuity of the human mind.