The Way of Men


Jack Donovan - 2012
    They tell just-so stories to protect their ideology, their religion, their way of life. They look to women for a nod of approval before speaking. They give socially acceptable answers and half-truths.If what they have to say resonates with men, it is only because they manage to hint at the real answer.The real answer is that The Way of Men is The Way of The Gang.Manliness — being good at being a man — isn’t about impressing women. That’s a side effect of manliness.Manliness isn’t about being a good man. There are plenty of bad guys – real jerks –who are manlier than you are, and you know it.Manliness is about demonstrating to other men that you have what it takes to survive tough times.Manliness is about our primal nature. It’s about what men have always needed from each other if they wanted to win struggles against nature, and against other men.The Way of Men describes the four tactical virtues of the survival gang.The Way of Men explains what men want, and why they are rapidly disengaging from our child-proofed modern world.The Way of Men examines the alternatives, and sketches a path out of our “bonobo masturbation society” through a new Dark Age.

I Don't Care About Your Band: Lessons Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated


Julie Klausner - 2010
    I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man--good or otherwise--when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville. Off the popularity of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't care About Your Band is marbled with the wry strains of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that anyone who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is an expert at landing herself waist-deep in crazy, time and time again, in part because her experience as a comedy writer (Best Week Ever, TV Funhouse on SNL) and sketch comedian from NYC's Upright Citizens Brigade fuels her philosophy of how any scene should unfold, which is, "What? That sounds crazy? Okay, I'll do it." I Don't Care About Your Band charts a distinctly human journey of a strong-willed but vulnerable protagonist who loves men like it's her job, but who's done with guys who know more about love songs than love. Klausner's is a new outlook on dating in a time of pop culture obsession, and she spent her 20's doing personal field research to back up her philosophies. This is the girl's version of High Fidelity. By turns explicit, funny and moving, Klausner's debut shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with the wrong guys, to emerge with real- world wisdom on matters of the heart. I Don't Care About Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and every one of us can relate.

Is He Mr. Right?: Everything You Need to Know Before You Commit


Mira Kirshenbaum - 2006
    Right? Tired of wasting time with one Mr. Wrong after another? You're not alone. Too many of us make bad decisions about the men in our lives and end up committing to relationships that don't bring us the happiness we deserve. Now you can have that crystal ball you were wishing for. With this groundbreaking book, internationally recognized relationship expert and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum turns her attention to the most common relationship question women have: Is he the one I should commit to? This is the only guide you'll ever need to answer that question once and for all. Offering savvy, straightforward advice gleaned from helping thousands of women find lasting love, Kirshenbaum offers the only step-by-step strategy for determining whether or not you should commit. "Is He Mr. Right?" will help you: - Decide if your guy is a keeper--or not - Identify the Five Dimensions of Chemistry and how to tell if you and your man have it - Understand the secret of women who find love: dump the duds fast - Focus on what you need to make you happy--and get it You will discover what you really want from a relationship, learn how to trust yourself again, and stop wasting time with guys who aren't right for you. A must-have for any woman, "Is He Mr. Right?" provides the tools you need to find real happiness in love.

Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality


Diana Richardson - 2011
    The first step to revive a waning sex life or make a healthy one more fulfilling, says author Diana Richardson, is to make sex a conscious decision rather than an accidental encounter. Focusing on eye contact, subtle sensations, and deep breathing, Diana’s practice of slow sex awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy, unlocking the door to extraordinary realms of sensitivity, sensuality, and higher consciousness. Exploring the healing, spiritual power of slow sex, this book offers a step-by-step guide for committed couples to transform sex into a meditative, loving union of complementary energies. It explains how slow sex increases sensitivity and sexual vitality and how, because it creates and restores love, slow sex is loving sex. With a focus on coolness rather than heat, this practice provides couples a way to reach a shared meditative state and use it as a vehicle to achieve higher consciousness. Illustrating different positions for eye contact, deep sustained penetration, and soft penetration, this book reveals that sex truly can be sustainable and enjoyable well into old age.

Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex


Allison Moon - 2020
    In an era of endless crossed signals and heightened awareness of consent and respect, award-winning author and sex educator Allison Moon shows you how to achieve safe and enjoyable encounters by practicing clear communication and consideration of all parties involved--yourself included. Getting It helps you understand what casual sex means for you and offers an instructive and empowering deep dive into how to get it, do it well, and feel great about it every step of the way. And since we're all imperfect, Moon offers guidance for how to gracefully recover when you screw up--or get screwed over. Refreshingly intersectional and respectful, Getting It is an honest guide to understanding the basics of hook-up culture and how to partake.

101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples


Laura Corn - 1995
    TWICE A WEEK — EVERY WEEK — FOR ONE FULL YEAR!YES, I KNOW that’s a lot to ask from one little book! But I promise you it works. Here’s how —Once a week, you and your lover each pick a sealed page and tear it from the book. There’s no turning back now — and no peeking at each other’s seduction! Just follow your secret instructions, and sometime during the week you’ll each be getting an erotic surprise. Talk about anticipation — you’ll both be on the edge of your seats! You’ll discover romantic new ways to “heat up the passion,” new bedroom tricks and variations on the old ones — and irresistible ways to introduce them to your lover.50 SECRET SEDUCTIONS WRITTEN for his eyes only... begin with seductively intriguing ways to not only get her in the mood — but to get her breathless with anticipation. You’ll give your lover the ultimate pleasure with Tricks of the Tongue…King of Hearts…and She's Out of Control. She’ll act out her most erotic uninhibited fantasies in Dangerous When Wet, and she will never, ever forget your incredible foreplay when you finally get her Up Against The Wall! Whatever seduction you surprise her with, you’ll have her climbing the walls in exquisite expectation!50 SECRET SEDUCTIONS WRITTEN for her eyes only… begins by divulging Marilyn Monroe’s sensual bedroom secret that drove her lovers wild (and caused JFK’s toes to curl!) in “I Think I Made His Back Feel Better” — and it just heats up from there! You’ll learn the steamy technique guaranteed to drive men crazy and bring both your libidos to a boil with The Velvet Tongue…your Lingerie Parfait and Puss n’ Boots will make him fall in love with you all over again… and you’ll have him on his knees begging for more after you take The Laura Corn Challenge!PLUS ONE VERY SPECIAL SEDUCTION shared by both of you. For experienced lovers only — save this one for last!SO GO AHEAD, TEAR THIS BOOK UP... PLEASE!

Vagina: A Re-education


Lynn Enright - 2019
    In Vagina: A Re-Education, acclaimed journalist Lynn Enright charts the story of this crucial organ, encompassing fertility and hormones, pain and arousal, sex education and more, with the goal of empowering women with vital knowledge about their bodies.As women all over the world join together in conversations about consent and power, this investigation into the history, biology and politics of the vagina will be a valuable and urgent addition to the discussion.

Carrie's Story


Molly Weatherfield - 1994
    Carrie's Story remains at the head of the class, literally. Imagine The Story of O starring a Berkeley PhD candidate in comparative literature, who moonlights as a bike messenger, with a penchant for irony, self-analysis and as well as anal pleasures. Set in both San Francisco and the more chateau-friendly, Napa Valley, Weatherfield's deliciously decadent novel takes you on a sexually explicit journey into a netherworld of slave auctions, training regimes, enticing "ponies," (people) preening for dressage competitions. Desire runs rampant in this story of uncompromising mastery and irrevocable submission.

Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History


Florence Williams - 2012
    But in the modern world, the breast is changing. Breasts are getting bigger, arriving earlier, and attracting newfangled chemicals. Increasingly, the odds are stacked against us in the struggle with breast cancer, even among men. What makes breasts so mercurial—and so vulnerable?In this informative and highly entertaining account, intrepid science reporter Florence Williams sets out to uncover the latest scientific findings from the fields of anthropology, biology, and medicine. Her investigation follows the life cycle of the breast from puberty to pregnancy to menopause, taking her from a plastic surgeon’s office where she learns about the importance of cup size in Texas to the laboratory where she discovers the presence of environmental toxins in her own breast milk. The result is a fascinating exploration of where breasts came from, where they have ended up, and what we can do to save them.

Sex in History


Reay Tannahill - 1980
    Reay Tannahill's scholarly, yet accessible study ranges from the earliest form of contraception (one Egyptian concoction included crocodile dung) to some latter- day misconceptions about it- like the men who joined their lovers in taking the pill 'just to be on the safe side.' It surveys all manner of sexual practice, preference and position (the acrobatic 'wheelbarrow' position, the strenuous 'hovering butterflies' position...) and draws on souces as diverse as THE ADMIRABLE DISCOURSES OF THE PLAIN GIRL, the EXHIBTION OF FEMALE FLAGELLANTS, IMPORTANT MATTERS OF THE JADE CHAMBER and THE ROMANCE OF CHASTISEMENT. Whether writing on androgyny, courtly love, flagellation or zoophilia, Turkish eunuch's Greek dildoes, Taoist sex manuals or Japanses geisha girls, Reay Tannahill is consistently enlightening and entertaining.

Henry and June: From "A Journal of Love": The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1931-1932


Anaïs Nin - 1986
    From late 1931 to the end of 1932, Nin falls in love with Henry Miller's writing and his wife June's striking beauty. When June leaves Paris for New York, Henry and Anaïs begin a fiery affair that liberates her sexually and morally, but also undermines her marriage and eventually leads her into psychoanalysis. As she grapples with her own conscience, a single question dominates her thoughts: What will happen when June returns to Paris? An intimate account of one woman's sexual awakening, Henry and June exposes the pain and pleasure felt by a single person trapped between two loves.

The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do about It


Warren Farrell - 2019
    For the first time in American history, our sons will have less education than their dads. It's a crisis of mental health. As boys become young men, their suicide rates go from equal to girls to six times that of young women. It's a crisis of sexuality. Sex is a minefield for our sons. They're bombarded with mixed messages, afraid of being either too sensitive or not sensitive enough. It's a crisis of fathering. Boys with less-involved fathers are more likely to drop out of school, drink, do drugs, become delinquent, and end up in prison. It's a crisis of purpose. Boys' old senses of purposes, being a warrior, a leader, or a sole breadwinner, are fading. Many bright boys are experiencing a "purpose void," feeling alienated, withdrawn and addicted to immediate gratification. Compounding this issue are addicting video games that lead to distraction and ADHD.So, what is The Boy Crisis? A comprehensive blueprint for what parents, teachers, and policy-makers can do to renew our sons' sense of purpose to help them become men, fathers, and leaders worthy of our respect.

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship


Stan Tatkin - 2012
    Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.Strengthen your relationship by:Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics


Lara Parker - 2020
    But I was getting there. I wanted the world to know that all of this pain I had been feeling…that it was related to my vagina. Thus, Vagina Problems was born. It was a cutesy name. It was my way of taking this pain and saying, “Whatever. I’m here. I have it. It sucks. Let’s talk about it.”In April 2014, Deputy Editorial Director at BuzzFeed Lara Parker opened up to the world in an article on the website: she suffers from endometriosis. And beyond that? She let the whole world know that she wasn’t having any sex, as sex was excruciatingly painful. Less than a year before, she received not only the diagnosis of endometriosis, but also a diagnosis of pelvic floor dysfunction, vulvodynia, vaginismus, and vulvar vestibulitis. Combined, these debilitating conditions have wreaked havoc on her life, causing excruciating pain throughout her body since she was fourteen years old. These are her Vagina Problems. It was five years before Lara learned what was happening to her body. Five years of doctors insisting she just had “bad period cramps,” or implying her pain was psychological. Shamed and stigmatized, Lara fought back against a medical community biased against women and discovered that the ignorance of many doctors about women’s anatomy was damaging more than just her own life. One in ten women have endometriosis and it takes an average of seven years before they receive an accurate diagnosis—or any relief from this incurable illness’ chronic pain. With candid revelations about her vaginal physical therapy, dating as a straight woman without penetrative sex, coping with painful seizures while at the office, diet and wardrobe malfunctions when your vagina hurts all the time, and the depression and anxiety of feeling unloved, Lara tackles it all in Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics with courage, wit, love, and a determination to live her best life."

Good Sex: Getting Off Without Checking Out


Jessica Graham - 2017
    Graham shares her own gradual transformation from checked out and sexually traumatized to present and joyfully recovered in all aspects of her life as she offers simple mindfulness tools and techniques to improve your sex life and romantic relationships. Her story of sexual healing, awakening, and exploration weaves together with a meditation manual and down-to-earth suggestions for how to bring mindfulness into the bedroom. Not only a tool kit for creating a rich and deeply satisfying sex life, this fun, explicit, and transformative book conveys the deeper message of how combining meditation with sex can bring about profound spiritual awakenings.Good Sex begins with basic meditation instructions from a variety of techniques, followed by mindfulness exercises delving into communication difficulties, and the fear, attachment, and shame that can come up around sex. The book's matter-of-fact and inclusive perspective borrows from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity, but is accessible to the secular community and those with no spiritual or meditation background at all. Graham discusses everything from open-eyed orgasms to threesomes to how to deal with a partner with a low sex drive. From a sex-positive and nontraditional stance she explores nonmonogamy, the benefits of pornography, sexual trauma, consent, and much more. Anyone feeling stuck or stunted in their sex life, unable to communicate their needs or desires, will find strategies for approaching difficult subjects and connecting more intimately with partners. They will discover ways to trust their own personal wisdom, to know themselves better, have better sex, and embrace the spiritual dimension in their sexuality.