Jackasses are those who make our lives needlessly harder. They drive too slowly in the fast lane and too quickly in the slow lane, reply all, heat up fish in the microwave at work and share way too much information about their cleanse on Facebook. They live in our homes, work in our offices and shop at our stores. Jackasses are among us, and we have some bad news for you: if you can't spot the Jackass at the (enter literally any place on the planet), then the Jackass is you. After a lifetime of research, Scott and Alison Stratten offer the definitive guide to surviving the Jackassery in your life and making the world a better place, one set of noise-cancelling headphones at a time.

    So far her only option is an invitation from some upperclassmen to watch them drunkenly race a bunch of bullfrogs in a ditch. To be honest, she was hoping for something a bit more exciting.Her grandfather, Cornelius Everglades, is a renegade who founded his own island micronation. Unfortunately, the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge it (possibly because he’s gone about the nation-building process using wildly illegal and unethical means).When Cornelius shows up at Kara’s door needing her help and promising an adventure, Kara agrees to go along with his far-fetched plan to put his micronation on the map, even though a) she thought Cornelius was dead, and b) his scheme depends heavily on Kara wearing a mascot costume.If Kara had known about the giant alien spaceship currently speeding toward her grandfather’s country with the intent to subjugate and humiliate mankind, she might have reconsidered.

    Please note that this is not a comedic story.Content Warning: Profanity, Cannibalism (Is it still cannibalism if it's a zombie eating a human?), Gore (Just a little, it comes with the cannibalism)

    This songbook contains easy piano arrangements of a dozen songs from Mel Brooks' Broadway blockbuster, the winner of a record 12 Tony Awards! Includes: Along Came Bialy * Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop * Goodbye! * Haben Sie Gehort Das Deutsche Band? * I Wanna Be a Producer * In Old Bavaria * Keep It Gay * Prisoners of Love * Springtime for Hitler * That Face * 'Til Him * When You Got It, Flaunt It.

    A sympathetic werewolf, a vampire and an Egyptian princess brought to life when her tomb is opened make this a comedy that has everything."Far and away the funniest two hours on a New York stage....What more meaningful gift could Ludlam bequeath [audiences

    He and a small support crew have been cashing in on the video craze with phenomenal, hair-raising exploits for years.Their latest undertaking is way beyond anything they’ve ever done. It’s extremely dangerous and, worse, highly illegal. Never would Jackson have imagined those risks to be the least of his worries.After stumbling over the archaeological find of the century, Jackson and a local anthropologist suddenly find themselves transported to a different time and place. It’s a world of unbelievable sights, unimaginable marvels, and barbaric practices that violate all that is human. Despite treading lightly as they deal with this new reality, their intrusion results in unintended consequences for the world they left. Making it right is their top priority, along with surviving the ordeal. It may not be possible to do both.Can they clean up the mess they’ve made? Or will the attempt just make it worse?

    Food writer Tilly Flint - on a rare date with boyfriend Jake - is sole witness to her flight. Little does she know the chain of events set to unfold…The following week, Tilly and Jake have the last of many arguments, leaving Tilly alone in the wild Pennines landscape where she's on assignment. Terrified yet strangely exhilarated, she investigates the area - and finds more than a few surprises.Intrigued to learn that, as an only child, she has family in the area, Tilly starts to dig deeper, discovering her great grandmother's past and the eerie parallels with her own life. As she explores the treacherous moors, she stumbles across mysterious pieces of cherry-red ribbon. What do they signify? And who is the strangely familiar face in the local pub?Then a chance encounter with celebrity Clayton Silver leads Tilly into a high-octane world that spells danger. Can the ribbons from the past be a lifeline in the present?

    Unfortunately, her agent is hiding her healthy financial position.

    So she decides to take matters into her own hands and toss him to the curb to enjoy the rest of her vacation. What she doesn't expect is to run into her old high school nemesis Tina, whose life is at rock bottom. Babe’s frozen heart is warmed by Tina's plight as a struggling winemaker. Armed with a pair of Louis Vuittons that would look fabulous crushing grapes if she felt like it (she doesn't), Babe decides to bring her no-apologies approach and street-smarts to Tina’s vineyard to help her revitalize her business in her most selfless act yet. The always hilarious, upfront, and basic yet delusional Babe Walker is everything you hate to love and love to hate. Just don't call her Thirsty.

    Comedy and Error Simon Day, star of the Fast Show and Bellamy's People tells the shocking, sometimes sad and hilariously funny story of his life so far Full description

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    He is also an artist haunted by his fair share of demons, which overtook him in the years that followed. After a suicide attempt, a two-year struggle with depression, and years of chronic opiate addiction, Artie entered recovery and built himself back up, chronicling his struggle in brave detail in his next book and second New York Times bestseller, Crash and Burn.In his hilarious third book, the two-time bestselling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13—the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships. The stories found in Wanna Bet? paint a portrait of a man who would just as quickly bet tens of thousands of dollars on a coin toss as he would a well thought out NBA or NFL wager. Along for the ride are colorful characters from Artie's life who live by the same creed, from a cast of childhood friends to peers like comedian and known gambler Norm McDonald. The book is a tour of a subculture where bookies and mobsters, athletes and celebrities ride the gambling roller coaster for the love of the rush. Through it all, somehow Artie has come out ahead, though he does take a few moments to imagine his life if things hadn't quite gone his way. Unrepentant and unrestrained, the book is Lange at his finest.

     A must-read for all diehard O&A fans, Permanently Suspended finally answers the questions that everyone has been waiting for: What really happened between Opie and Anthony? What was the reasoning behind the multiple firings? What prompted the tweeting about the Times Square NYC incident? What is the true account of the controversial allegations? What are the never-before-revealed details of Anthony’s stint in rehab? What does the future hold for his livestream podcast? These questions, and many more, will be answered. Permanently Suspended is a humorous, no-holds-barred account of the legendary career and life of Anthony Cumia—a blue collar guy who made his dreams come true, rising above all obstacles to become one of the most well-known and successful personalities in radio history.

    Defending the suspect is deemed hopeless, so the case is handed to a novice. But the novice's superiors didn't count on the tenacity and wit of the young and hungry Horace Rumpole, as he defends the accused alone and without a leader for the very first time. This two-part adaptation of the novel by John Mortimer also marks the beginning of Rumpole's life-long liason with Hilda ("She Who Must Be Obeyed").Rumpole and the Family PrideWe rejoin Rumpole and Hilda in the late 1950s, when they have been married for a year or two. Hilda's cousin lives with her husband, the 17th Baron Sackbut, in Sackbut Castle on the Yorkshire Moors. Hilda and Rumpole are invited to the castle when a body is found in the grounds. Meanwhile, in London, Rumpole defends a tramp who has confessed to a triple-murder.Rumpole and the Eternal TriangleWhen Rumpole and Hilda attend a concert performed by The Casterini Trio, Rumpole is surprised to be approached by Elizabeth Casterini - the trio's beautiful violinist. But then the Trio's cellist, Tom Randall, is murdered. Elizabeth's husband is arrested, and Rumpole agrees to defend him at the Old Bailey.Duration: 3 hrs approx.