How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill


Knock Knock - 2007
    Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions—whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way! The perfect guide for both new and experienced parents Part of the acclaimed and proven-to-work Self-Hurt Series Hardcover; 4.875 x 7.175 inches; 192 pages; full-color throughout

I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society


Amy Alkon - 2009
    You leave the house for a latte and somebody'll flip you the bird on your way and force their loud cellphone conversation on you once you're there. It doesn't have to be that way, says award-winning syndicated columnist Amy Alkon. Her hilarious stories of her in-your-face encounters with rude people and businesses will inspire you to stand up to the boors in your own world. Alkon not only gives the offenders a taste of their own medicine, she delves into anthropology, psychology, and behavioral science to figure out why we're rude and how we can stop all the intruding, shoving, and shouting. She ensures that all these rude people get their comeuppance: -Lax parents -Internet bullies -Rude drivers -Negligent businesses -Telemarketing executives -Car thieves -Parking space hogs -That loud jerk in the drugstore line In this funny, ferocious and freewheeling expose, Alkon gives you the tools you need to confront these abusers and restore common courtesy, respect and good manners to society...one chastened cellphone shouter at a time.

Surviving Your Stupid Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School


Adam Ruben - 2010
    They lead the lives of the impoverished, grade the exams of whiny undergrads, and spend lonely nights in the library or laboratory pursuing a transcendent truth that only six or seven people will ever care about. These suffering, unshaven sad sacks are grad students, and their salvation has arrived in this witty look at the low points of grad school.Inside, you’ll find:   • advice on maintaining a veneer of productivity in front of your advisor  • tips for sleeping upright during boring seminars  • a description of how to find which departmental events have the best unguarded free food  • how you can convincingly fudge data and feign progress  This hilarious guide to surviving and thriving as the lowliest of life-forms—the grad student—will elaborate on all of these issues and more.www.facebook.com/stupiddecisiontogogr...

Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America


Leslie Knope - 2011
    The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history—like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America. Praise for Pawnee: "Carrying this book around is a good way of picking up girls with glasses." —Tom Haverford "I have read over four books, and this is by far the one that has me in it the most." —Andy Dwyer "Literally the greatest endeavor of human creativity in the history of mankind." —Chris Traeger

Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever: The Making of a Happy Woman


Judy Sheindlin - 1998
    Women, she states with her trademark frankness, need to wise up, stop subjugating who they are, and stop making stupid decisions in the name of love. They hide their talents and opinions so they won't offend. They tiptoe through life letting others take credit for their ideas because they would rather be liked than respected. They spend their lives trying to please everyone but them-selves, and then they wonder why they feel so frustrated and unfulfilled.Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever presents Judge Judy's ten hard and true lessons for happiness:Beauty fades, dumb is forever.Don't crawl when you can fly.What goes up must come down.Denial is a river in Egypt.Master the game--then play it.You're the trunk of the tree.You can't teach the bull to dance.Failure doesn't build character.Letting go is half the fun.You can be the hero of your own story.

I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons


Kevin Hart - 2017
    Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has?According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear:A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact.A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together.A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning.It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys.The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero, just like the odds that are stacked against the release of a new book in this era of social media (where Hart has a following of over 100 million, by the way).But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, JK Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes the reader on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today.And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion.He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent: It was through his unique way of looking at the world. Because just like a book has chapters, Hart sees life as a collection of chapters that each person gets to write for himself or herself.“Not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, but your interpretation writes the next chapter,” he says. “So why not choose the interpretation that serves your life the best?”

Love and Marriage


Bill Cosby - 1989
    Chuckle, too, as he courts coed cuties and swinging singles, then woos and weds his one and only - only to discover a brave new world of marital bliss, including great nights, great fights, in-laws, and kids (five of 'em!).

Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends


Oliver Markus Malloy - 2016
    But every man knows that it's impossible. Read this book and find out what really goes on in a man's mind. You will never look at opposite-sex friendships the same way again.

Things You Need To Be Told


The Etiquette Grrls - 2001
    The Etiquette Grrls have decided that things are simply getting out of hand, and they have Taken It Upon Themselves to step in with a helpful guide to navigate the Etiquette Quandaries in your day-to-day life. They dish up advice on cohabitation, letter-writing, telephoning, traveling, grooming, drinking, dining, dating, and marriage and, it would be Terribly Rude of you not to pay attention.Who are they, you ask, to be writing such a book? The Etiquette Grrls are graduates of New England Preparatory Schools and Prestigious Colleges; they are throwers of Great Parties; they can hold their liquor; their expertise on fashion and make-up and—especially Subversive Nail Polish colors-knows no bounds; they wear Doc Martens with their cashmere twin sets; and, most important, they know what they're talking about.The Etiquette Grrls' advice has been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Chicago Sun-Times, and Business Week Online.

Life and How To Survive It


Robin Skynner - 1993
    Publisher: Mandarin Date of Publication: 1994 Binding: soft back Edition: Condition: Very Good Description: 0749311088

Billy's Log: The Hilarious Diary of One Man's Struggle With Life, Lager and the Female Race


Dougie Brimson
    for lads!For Billy Ellis, life is one series of disasters after another. His haemorrhoids have just cost him promotion, his new boss is threatening to move in next door, and on the very occasions he need a condom, he can’t even buy a packet without almost getting arrested. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he’s suddenly woken up to the fact that he’s almost thirty, still single and has the looks that give a new meaning to the word ‘average’.But at the end of last year, as always, Billy read his ‘Log of Life’ and vowed to make things better.And this year, he succeeded. Eventually.Billy’s Log reveals the frustrations of life for a single male and the never-ending battle to understand the workings of the female mind.

Where Does a Mother Go to Resign?


Barbara Johnson - 1979
    Our much-cherished humorist opens her heart with a story that shines with the hope of restoration in the wake of pain and tragedy.

Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Bunmi Laditan - 2015
    It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler’s toast. (Or not cutting it off—seriously, you can’t win.)Includes:The theory of toddler evolution Mealtime (AKA Hell)Your unraveling lifeAnd how not to die inside

What Would Keith Richards Do?: Daily Affirmations from a Rock and Roll Survivor


Jessica Pallington West - 2009
    What is a wise man? What is a prophet? Someone with a strange, unflappable demeanor. Someone who speaks in cryptic koans, words whose meanings take years to unravel. Someone who has confronted death, God, sin, and the immortal soul. Someone unfit for this world, but too brilliant to depart it. Someone, in short, like Keith Richards. Here, at last, the wisdom of this indefatigable man is recorded and set forth. These are his visionary words: “I would rather be a legend than a dead legend.†Or “Whatever side I take, I know well that I will be blamed.†And—indeed—“I’ve never had a problem with drugs, only with policemen.†Not merely a compendium of wisdom, this book is also a complete guide to the inner workings of a complex and inspired belief system, and the life of a man sanctified by fame. What Would Keith Richards Do? reminds us to learn from our mistakes, let our instincts lead us, and above all, do what Keith has done better than anyone—survive.

The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions


Scott Adams - 1996
    Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- management.Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace.Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!