Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time
Rob Temple - 2013
Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.
From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast
Alan Partridge - 2020
But what of the unseen Alan? For the first time, this famously private man welcomes us into his home and audibly deshrouds himself for a fascinating series of podcasts. Over the course of 18 generously durated episodes, Partridge grants us full and unfettered access to his off-screen life (within reason). In exchange for a series of payments from Audible, he promises an access-all-areas pass to the nooks and crannies of his hinterland, to reveal a wiser, cleverer, more reflective Alan than many of his more vaunted peers have given him credit for. He then sends the resultant podcasts to Audible ensuring they meet the technical specifications laid down in the contract.
The Psychology of the Simpsons: D'Oh!
Alan S. Brown - 2006
Designed to appeal to both fans of the show and students of psychology, this unique blend of science and pop culture consists of essays by professional psychologists drawn from schools and clinical practices across the country. Each essay is designed to be accessible, thoughtful, and entertaining, while providing the reader with insights into both The Simpsons and the latest in psychological thought. Every major area of psychology is covered, from clinical psychology and cognition to abnormal and evolutionary psychology, while fresh views on eclectic show topics such as gambling addiction, Pavlovian conditioning, family therapy, and lobotomies are explored.
Few Are Chosen
M.T. McGuire - 2010
Charming outlaw with own transport and limited social skills seeks lucrative, employment at minimal risk.When you're running from a murderous government and work for an equally murderous gangster, accidentally torching his apartment is a bad move.The Pan of Hamgee just wants a quiet life but destiny has other plans.The correct genres for this book are: Comedy/fantasy/sci-fi
Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps
Kelly Williams Brown - 2013
. . if you wear a business suit to job interviews but pajamas to the grocery store . . . if you have your own apartment but no idea how to cook or clean . . . it's OK. But it doesn't have to be this way.Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all begins with this funny, wise, and useful book. Based on Kelly Williams Brown's popular blog, ADULTING makes the scary, confusing "real world" approachable, manageable-and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay, and along the way you will learn:What to check for when renting a new apartment-Not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things.When a busy person can find time to learn more about the world- It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office -- Imagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps.The secret to finding a mechanic you love-Or, more realistically, one that will not rob you blind.From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.New York Times Bestseller.
Penguins Can't Fly: +39 Other Rules That Don't Exist
Jason W. Kotecki - 2015
We knew this instinctively as kids, but somehow forgot on the way to adulthood. We got busy and overwhelmed, started valuing things that don't matter, and learned to follow the rules that don't even exist:hate mondaysonly celebrate when the calendar gives you permissiondon't make a messdon't play hookyhide your weirdnesshide your wrinklescare what other people thinkFollowing these so-called rules is a terrific way to stress you out, sap your energy, and ensure a boring life. But there's a better way. In his enlightening book, author and artist Jason Kotecki uncovers some of the most useless rules so you can shift perspective and start seeing the world with wonder once again.It's time to stop living by someone else's rules. Your life is a story, and a short one at that. Make it a good one.
The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You
Johnny B. Truant - 2012
If you have a "next big thing" in mind you want to do because you know it will be awesome (starting the business, making the big move, launching the nonprofit, writing the book) but are afraid of doing what it would take to make that thing happen, then you should read this.The universe is very big. You are very small. In fact, you're so small and so insignificant in the big picture that you don't even register to the eye of the cosmos. The universe was here before you were born and will be here long after you're gone, and your life is but a blip on its vast, vast radar. If your life is to matter, it's not going to matter to the universe. It's up to you make your life matter in the only way you can: by doing things that make a difference to you, to those around you, and to those whose lives you touch. Time is short. You have exactly NOW to do whatever it is you're here to do, or to let the inexorable passage of hours and days and years kill your potential like fruit left to die on a vine. The universe doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t love you, either. You’re just an atom in its infinite workings. The universe doesn’t care if you live, die, suffer, or thrive. Whatever your life here will mean is up to you. Stop worrying so much about what others think and start being who you're supposed to be. It's time to do some epic shit.
The Lisa Book: Simpsons Library of Wisdom
Matt Groening - 2006
The Lisa Book.Whether she's extolling the virtues of vegetarianism and the global village, raising awareness about the world's moral and social ills, or simply playing with her Malibu Stacy doll and dreaming of ponies, Lisa Simpson is a role model for the 21st century! Discover Lisa's lifelong ambitions, gather snappy answers to environmentally insensitive questions, uncover "the Truth" by logging onto her Internet blog, and follow along as she solves a real mystery. From the benefits of being Teacher's Pet to the secret correspondences of Commander–in–chief Lisa's presidential administration you will explore the inner workings of one of America's most progressive eight–year–old minds.The Simpsons Library of WisdomMatt Groening, the creator of "The Simpsons," offers an on–going series of portable and quotable books that will eliminate the need for all religions and philosophies, exalt man's role in the universe, and make the world a better place...sort of. No other television show in history has commented so freely and so humorously on modern times, and there seems to be no end in sight for the sharp satire and pointed parody that The Simpsons serves up every night of the week all around the world.
Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived in That House
Meghan Daum - 2010
Finally, near the height of the real estate bubble, she succumbed, depleting her life’s savings to buy a 900-square-foot bungalow, with a garage that “bore a close resemblance to the ruins of Pompeii” and plumbing that “dated back to the Coolidge administration.” From her mother’s decorating manias to her own “hidden room” dreams, Daum explores the perils and pleasures of believing that only a house can make you whole. With delicious wit and a keen eye for the absurd, she has given us a pitch-perfect, irresistible tale of playing a lifelong game of house.
The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death.
Gene Weingarten - 1998
And Death. provides just the relief you need. Gene Weingarten has spent his whole life immersed in the eclectic details of bizarre symptoms, self-diagnosing every minor ache as a potentially deadly disease. Weingarten examines: The mind of a hypochondriacHow your doctor can kill youUlcers and other visceral fearsThe snaps, crackles, and pops of your body that spell disasterThings that can take an eye outInterpreting DocSpeak Blending the neurotic anxieties of Woody Allen, the folksiness of Garrison Keillor, and the absurdist vision of Dave Barry, Gene Weingarten conjures up a hilarious prescription for the hypochondriac that lurks inside all of us.
The People's Almanac Presents the Book of Lists
David Wallechinsky - 1977
The People's Almanac Presents the Book of Lists
The Guy's Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year of Fatherhood
Michael R. Crider - 2005
Fast-forward ten years and the funny man has married and become the family man. The Guy’s Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year of Fatherhood—Crider’s candid, down-to-earth account of his transformation—proves that even without much sleep, he has kept his sense of humor completely intact.From the moment he hears the unexpected news that the pregnancy test is positive to the end of his son’s first year of life, Michael Crider is awed, anxious, and all-too-human. In between these milestones, he endures the aches and pains of his wife’s pregnancy (which had a clear impact on his own bodily comfort), swallows his pride when bunny wallpaper replaces his beloved Budweiser mirror, has a short and only partially-appreciated stint as her labor coach on the Big Day, and experiences every one of his son’s “firsts” as though they were his own. Honest, informative, hilarious, and heartwarming, The Guy’s Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the First Year of Fatherhood is a must-read for all new parents.
Farts: A Spotter's Guide:
Crai S. Bower - 2008
Farts: A Spotter's Guide will help you pinpoint he (or she) who dealt it every time. This hilarious book identifies the habitat, range, voice, and "field marks" of tencommon wind breakers, from the gentle hiss of the Silent-but-Deadly to the rip-roaring flatulation of the Seismic Blast. The attached battery powered fart machine reproduces each emanation in accurate sound. Grossly hip illustrations by the Fudge Factory'syes, you read that rightTravis Millard depict the offenders and offendees in brilliant detail. Printed on durable card stock, this is pure, unbridled entertainment for the giggling child in all of us. Let 'er rip!
I Used To Miss Him...But My Aim Is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide
Alison James - 2004
But today's woman needs more than a book of soppy affirmations to get her back on her feet and feeling great. I Used to Miss Him... is full of smart tips, sarcastic stories and hilarious ways to heal after a breakup. This book provides the sort of genuine advice you'd get from your best friend, but with a "rip his head off" attitude. By supporting a girl's right to be angry with her ex, this fun guide helps her rebuild her strength and confidence after he's gone.Features edgy advice on how to:Cash in on his lifelong guiltLook sexy and feel fabulous (then run into him at a party)Make an ex-boyfriend voodoo dollLose the guy, keep the jewelryAdvertise being singleStalk responsibly to keep him on his toesMaximize post-breakup pamperingI Used to Miss Him... is the ultimate breakup survival guide for today's woman!