Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal


Barbara Steffens - 2009
    Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors' lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back


Stephen Arterburn - 2014
    Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it’s possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools rooted in counseling principles to help your marriage begin again. This comprehensive guide discusses: · How to be truly and effectively transparent · Combating the “he must not love me” myth and other untruths· What to do about the Internet, office temptations, and travel· Encouragement for wives who wonder if trust can ever be restored · The “five-minute phone call” and other daily trust-building strategies· What meaningful forgiveness and restitution look like· The Amends Matrix—a concrete exercise to admit past wrongs and cast a vision for a faithful futureIncluding insights from Jason’s wife, Shelley, Worthy of Her Trust guides you through the process of rebuilding your relationship so it is stronger than ever.

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God


Timothy J. Keller - 2011
    All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong.Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts


Shannon Ethridge - 2012
    Best-selling author Shannon Ethridge theorizes, “Fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from unresolved tragedies and traumas. We mentally compartmentalize our pain to make room for pleasure.”Fantasies have deep psychological roots, and if acted on many of them can do deep psychological damage. Rather than let fantasies rule us, let’s take out the sting and bring them under God’s rule, allowing the Lord to heal us from the brokenness and insecurities that cause inappropriate fantasies to haunt us.Without being judgmental or condemning, Shannon helps us dissect several common and often-disturbing topics, such as:• a distorted fascination with pornography• the mental pursuit of multiple partners• the lure of gay and lesbian desires• bondage, domination, and sadomasochism (BDSM)With tips for controlling unwanted fantasies and resources for providing a safe haven for recovery, The Fantasy Fallacy helps us recognize and heal our emotional pain and equips us to help others do the same.

Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal


Sheri Keffer - 2018
    Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that the man she loves has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out.Drawing from her experience both as a marriage and family therapist and a woman who personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Sheri Keffer walks women impacted by betrayal through the pain and toward recovery. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. She offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers and helps women understand the realities of sexual addiction. And she shows women how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction


Mark R. Laaser - 2004
    This book goes beyond cliché answers and offers meaningful, spiritual, and practical steps to healing and freedom from sexual addiction--or any addiction. With today's rampant availability of Internet pornography, sexual addiction has become a national epidemic that affects an increasing number of Christians, even pastors and priests. As devastating as any drug habit, it brings heartbreak and despair to those it entangles. But there is help for men and women caught in sexual addiction's downward spiral. This book offers a path that leads beyond compulsive thoughts and behaviors to healing and transformation. Speaking from his own experience with sexual addiction and recovery, Dr. Mark Laaser is sensitive to the shame of sexual addiction without minimizing its sinfulness. He traces the roots of the problem, discusses its patterns and impact, and maps out a biblical approach to self-control and sexual integrity. Whether you know someone with a sexual addiction or struggle yourself, Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction points the way to understanding, wholeness, and holiness. Spanish edition also available; previously titled Faithful and True.

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships


Henry Cloud - 1999
    Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, teach us that healthy boundaries are the property lines that define and protect you and your spouse as individuals. Once you have them in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.Boundaries in Marriage will give you the tools and encouragement you need to:Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of your spouseUnderstand and practice two key ingredients to a successful marriage: freedom and responsibilityEstablish values that form a godly structure and architecture for your marriageProtect your marriage from different kinds of "intruders"Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries--or with one who doesn'tIt's time to deepen your love by providing a better environment for it to flourish, and Drs. Cloud and Townsend are here to help. Discover how boundaries can make life better today!

When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man


Edward T. Welch - 1997
    Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the “fear of man” goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called “peer pressure.” When we are older, it is called “people-pleasing.” Recently, it has been called “codependency.” With these labels in mind, we can spot the fear of man everywhere. Diagnosis is fairly straightforward. - Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? “Peer pressure” is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. - Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? Are you are a “people-pleaser,” another euphemism for the fear of man ? - Do you “need” something from your spouse? Do you “need” your spouse to listen to you? Respect you? Think carefully here. Certainly God is pleased when there is good communication and a mutual honor between spouses. But for many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God’s design for his image-bearers. Unless you understand the biblical parameters of marital commitment, your spouse will become the one you fear. Your spouse will control you. Your spouse will quietly take the place of God in your life. - Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This, at least in the United States, is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up. - Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? Many business executives and apparently successful people do. The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are a failure — are able to control you. - Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? - Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience “love hunger”? Here again, if you need others to fill you, you are controlled by them. - Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them. THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined. Yet this task is not easy. Even if we worked at the most spectacular of national parks, or the bush in our backyard started burning without being consumed, or Jesus appeared and wrestled a few rounds with us, we would not be guaranteed a persistent reverence of God. Too often our mountain-top experiences are quickly overtaken by the clamor of the world, and God once again is diminished in our minds. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

How to Really Love Your Adult Child: Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World


Gary Chapman - 2011
    It just moves into a new phase.The role of a parent lasts a lifetime. Your kids will always be in your life. The trick is figuring out how to adapt to the new phases in that parent-child relationship. No question, it can be tricky. And if you fail to navigate that transition well, the result will be stress, alienation, and maybe a broken relationship.But it doesn’t have to be that way. In How to Really Love Your Adult Child, Dr. Gary Chapman—author of the worldwide bestseller The 5 Love Languages®—teams up with clinical psychiatrist Dr. Ross Campbell to provide the insights you need when your child moves into young adulthood. You’ll find help for those moments when:Your adult child isn’t succeedingYour nest isn’t emptyingYour child moves back homeYou have conflict over lifestyle issuesYou become an in-law or grandparentAnd much more . . .The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children, as well stories from adult children who relate what works best for them. An online study guide is also available.Stop wondering how to connect with your adult child. Instead, learn to love them in the ways they so desperately want. Because while childhood is temporary, parenting is forever.

The Good Fight: How Conflict Can Lead to Greater Intimacy in Marriage


Les Parrott III - 2013
    Les and Leslie Parrottuncover common misbeliefs about marital conflict, showing couples how a “good fight” actually enriches a relationship, making it stronger. Men and women will learn what pitfalls to avoid, how to use conflict for good, and how to diffuse anger and hurt feelings. Filled with practical advice that couples can implement quickly and easily, The Good Fight helps husbands and wives build a relationship where harmony outweighs tension and peace finds a home.

When You've Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness


Erwin W. Lutzer - 2007
    Perhaps it’s a broken promise. Or someone betrayed your confidence.It’s only natural that you would be angry. These wounds cry out for justice! But what if justice isn’t possible this side of heaven? What if the damage can’t be undone? What then?You have a decision to make.You can hold on to your anger until your anguish builds a prison of bitterness, where you will live a diminished and pain-filled life. Or you can choose to forgive.Erwin Lutzer discusses dealing with difficult people such as “spear throwers” and “destroyers,” as well as handling conflict among family members and Christians in the courtroom. In this concise, quickly readable volume, you’ll learn how to move from bitterness to blessing by choosing forgiveness.By choosing forgiveness you are choosing abundant life. It’s a decision you can make today!

The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption


Matt Chandler - 2015
    We need it. Because emotions rise and fall with a single glance, touch, kiss, or word. And we are inundated with songs, movies, and advice that contradicts God's design for love and intimacy. Matt Chandler helps navigate these issues for both singles and marrieds by revealing the process Solomon himself followed: Attraction, Courtship, Marriage ... even Arguing. The Mingling of Souls will forever change how you view and approach love.

Taming the Tongue: The Power of Spoken Words


Alex Uwajeh - 2014
    However, it's the way you use them that has the real power. When you have an optimistic frame of mind, you're far more likely to recognize opportunities when they arise. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. The way you use and choose words defines who you are. Words have power. God created the world with words. The Bible plainly says, we shall decree a thing and it shall be established. Are you ready to harness the real power of spoken words?

The Naked Marriage


Dave Willis - 2019
    Imagine a marriage rooted in faith, friendship and mutual fulfillment. Imagine a marriage with amazing sex, but where great sex is only the icing on the cake. This might all sound too good to be true, but it's actually what God designed marriage to be, and He doesn't want you settling for anything less. Having a "Naked Marriage' is about much more than just nakedness in the bedroom (although that's part of the fun). It means being naked emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. It also means undressing all the misconceptions our culture has used to cover God's original, beautiful design for marriage and rediscovering all marriage can be. You and your spouse can have a thriving, Naked Marriage with a lifetime of love and laughter together. This book will show you how. About the Authors: Dave and Ashley Willis have become some of America's most trusted teachers on marriage. Their books, blogs, videos and speaking events reach millions of couples worldwide. They are part of the team at XO Marriage and MarriageToday, which is the largest marriage-focused ministry in the USA. Dave and Ashley have four young sons and live near Dallas, TX.

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage


Kevin Leman - 2002
    Kevin Leman offers a practical guide to sex according to God's plan. This frank and practical book is a perfect resource for married and engaged couples. Dr. Leman addresses a wide spectrum of people, from those with no sexual experiences to those with past sexual problems or even abuse. Using frank descriptions, this book has a warm and friendly tone that will help couples overcome awkwardness in discussing an issue important to all married couples.