Book picks similar to
Aliens in the Gift Shop by D.E. Morris
fantasy
humorous
humour
middle-grade-age-9-12
Noir
Christopher MooreChristopher Moore - 2018
Summer, 1947. A dame walks into a saloon . . .It’s not every afternoon that an enigmatic, comely blonde named Stilton (like the cheese) walks into the scruffy gin joint where Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin tends bar. It’s love at first sight, but before Sammy can make his move, an Air Force general named Remy arrives with some urgent business. ’Cause when you need something done, Sammy is the guy to go to; he’s got the connections on the street.Meanwhile, a suspicious flying object has been spotted up the Pacific coast in Washington State near Mount Rainer, followed by a mysterious plane crash in a distant patch of desert in New Mexico that goes by the name Roswell. But the real weirdness is happening on the streets of the City by the Bay.When one of Sammy’s schemes goes south and the Cheese mysteriously vanishes, Sammy is forced to contend with his own dark secrets—and more than a few strange goings on—if he wants to find his girl.
Sex Hell
Joe Canzano - 2016
How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love--and do love and sex need to be related at all?*This book contains profanity and adult situations
Space Opera
Catherynne M. Valente - 2018
In the aftermath, a curious tradition was invented-something to cheer up everyone who was left and bring the shattered worlds together in the spirit of peace, unity, and understanding.Once every cycle, the civilizations gather for the Metagalactic Grand Prix - part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of the wars of the past. Instead of competing in orbital combat, the powerful species that survived face off in a competition of song, dance, or whatever can be physically performed in an intergalactic talent show. The stakes are high for this new game, and everyone is forced to compete.This year, though, humankind has discovered the enormous universe. And while they expected to discover a grand drama of diplomacy, gunships, wormholes, and stoic councils of aliens, they have instead found glitter, lipstick and electric guitars. Mankind will not get to fight for its destiny - they must sing.A one-hit-wonder band of human musicians, dancers and roadies from London - Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes - have been chosen to represent Earth on the greatest stage in the galaxy. And the fate of their species lies in their ability to rock.
Chaos Quarter
David Welch - 2013
In the midst of brewing tensions, disgraced pilot Rex Vahl is tapped for a suicide mission: infiltrate an interplanetary power known only as the “Hegemony” and discover what hides behind their veil of secrecy.What does Rex have on his side? His co-pilot is a former prostitute with tiger-striped skin. His gunner is a traitorous ex-nobleman wanted by his countrymen. His engineer is a laid-back cyborg exiled for asking one too many questions about God. Add in a woman genetically engineered to have no free will, and you get his motley crew. Armed with only a souped-up freighter, Rex blasts off to pursue rumors of a mysterious Hegemony ambassador on the planet of Cordelia. To get there, he and his crew must cross the Chaos Quarter, a tumultuous territory defined by tyrants, pirates, and religious extremists. Even if they survive the journey, the ambassador could prove deadlier than any enemy they face along the way.But when Rex discovers that the Empire of Europa—the Commonwealth’s greatest foe—has agents skulking in the shadows, he realizes his mission is no longer a secret. And if he secures his prize now, the intergalactic fallout could unleash the most deadly war the galaxy has ever seen.Revised edition: Previously published, this edition of Chaos Quarter includes editorial revisions.
Master of Formalities
Scott Meyer - 2015
Our story is set thousands of years after the Terran Exodus, where two powerful, planet-dominating families—the elegant House Jakabitus and the less refined Hahn Empire—have reached a critical point in their generations-long war. Master Hennik, the Hahn ruler’s only son, has been captured, and the disposition of his internment may represent a last and welcome chance for peace.Enter Wollard, the impeccably distinguished and impossibly correct Master of Formalities for House Jakabitus. When he suggests that Master Hennik be taken in as a ward of the House, certain complications arise. Wollard believes utterly and devotedly in adhering to rules and good etiquette. But how does one inform the ruler of a planet that you are claiming his son as your own—and still create enough goodwill to deescalate an intergalactic war?
Call to Quarters
Honor Raconteur - 2016
In modern times, they are known as the Gældorcræft Forces. They do everything that needs to be done, from disaster relief to keeping giant cities afloat – like Los Angeles. Investigating explosions at Air Force Research Labs are outside of the norm, but this explosion doesn’t follow the rules either. It happens nearly right on top of a leyline and the damage it causes is considerable. Noriko is new to California, new to the GF, and has a brand new partner to boot. She wanted to have an easy first week of work, just to adjust to things, but instead she’s thrown head first into a case that is snowballing in complexity. Time is definitely ticking because if they don’t figure it out, then all of California is going to wind up in the ocean.
Hello, Gorgeous!
MaryJanice Davidson - 2005
As If. One minute I'm out with my sorority sisters; the next there's a terrible accident (beyond my friend Stacey's outfit) and I'm waking up in some weird clinic transformed into a human cyborg--with a mission: to stop evil and stuff. Uh, hello? I've got a beauty salon to run. Granted, it is cool to run faster than a Ford Mustang when I need to, even if it's totally hard on my shoes. But then I have to bring in another human cyborg on the run? One who happens to be male, totally gorgeous, smart, funny--and, um, his "enhancements"?--as if! "Davidson's over-the-top humor and raunchily funny sex scenes will delight her fast-growing cadre of fans, while Janet Evanovich fans will also enjoy Davidson's rough-talking heroine." --Booklist
Checking Inn
Emily Harper - 2013
Make sure the caterers don't serve devil's food cake to the Christian Women's Alliance- check. Tell my mother that having a séance to get rid of any unwanted spirits in the kitchen during dinnertime is not okay- check. Send a friendly reminder to all staff that the pens are colour coded for everyone's enjoyment, and therefore it is not a good idea to put them all in one jar in order to spice things up as was anonymously suggested- check. But, when an acclaimed hotel critic dies at the Inn, just before she's about to publish a scathing review that would ruin the business, Kate's life and checklists are thrown into disarray. And it doesn't help matters that the detective assigned to the case is messy, unorganized, and too charming for his own good. Now Kate has to prove her innocence and save her Inn, or else the only thing that she'll be organizing is the prison's next bake sale.
The Adventures of Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent
Larry Correia - 2016
A policy with Stranger & Stranger can cover all of your interdimensional insurance needs. Rated "Number One in Customer Satisfaction" for three years running, no claim is too big or too weird for Tom Stranger to handle.But now Tom faces his greatest challenge yet. Despite being assigned the wrong—and woefully inadequate—intern, Tom must still provide quality customer service to multiple alternate Earths, all while battling tentacle monsters, legions of the damned, an evil call center in Nebraska, and his archnemesis, Jeff Conundrum. Armed with his Combat Wombat and a sense of fair play, can Tom survive? And will Jimmy the Intern ever discover his inner insurance agent?It's time to kick ass and adjust claims.Adam Baldwin (Firefly, Chuck) performs Larry Correia's madcap interdimensional tale of underwriting and space travel, where the only thing scarier than tentacle monsters is a high deductible.
The Sheriff of Yrnameer
Michael Rubens - 2009
His sidekick just stole his girlfriend. The galaxy's most hideous and feared bounty hunter wants to lay eggs in his brain. And the luxury space yacht Cole just hijacked turns out of be filled with interstellar do-gooders, one especially loathsome stowaway, and a cargo of freeze-dried orphans.Reluctantly compelled to deliver these defenseless, fluidless children to safety, Cole gathers a misfit crew for a desperate journey to the far reaches of the galaxy. Their destination: the mysterious world of Yrnameer, the very last of the your-name-heres—planets without corporate sponsors. But little does Cole know that this legendary utopia is home to a murderous band of outlaws bent on destroying the planet's tiny, peaceful community.Follow Cole's adventures through a delightfully absurd science-fiction universe, where the artificial intelligence is stupid, dust motes carry branding messages, and middle-management zombies have overrun a corporate training satellite. In the spirit of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, The Sheriff of Yrnameer is sci-fi comedy at its best—mordant, raucously funny, and a thrilling page-turner.
Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner, Starring Dark Zader: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)
Tyler Shaw - 2015
Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job. Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever. Double the excitement. Triple the laughs. Paintbrush illustrations. This is... Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in Five Parts
Douglas Adams - 1979
and expert at seeing the cosmos on 30 Altairian dollars a day. Ford lives by the Guide's seminal bit of advice: Don't Panic. Which comes in handy when their first ride--on the very same vessel that demolished Earth to make way for a hyperspacial freeway--ends disastrously (they are booted out of an airlock). with 30 seconds of air in their lungs and the odd of being picked up by another ship 2^276,709 to 1 against, the pair are scooped up by the only ship in the universe powered by the Infinite Improbability Drive.But this (and the idea that Bogart movies and McDonald's hamburgers now exist only in his mind) is just the beginning of the weird things Arthur will have to get used to. For, on his travels, he'll encounter Zaphod Beeblebrox, the two-headed, three-armed ex-President of the Galaxy; Trillian, a sexy spacecadet he once tried to pick up at a cocktail party, now Zaphod's girlfriend; Marvin, a chronically depressed robot; and Slartibartfast, the award-winning engineer who built the Earth and travels in a spaceship disguised as a bistro.Arthur's crazed wanderings will take him from the restaurant at the end of the Universe (where the main dish of the day introduces itself and the floor show is doomsday), to the planet Krikkit (locked in Slo-Time to punish its inhabitants for trying to end the Universe), to Earth (huh? wait! wasn't it destroyed?!) to the very offices of The Hitchhiker's Guide itself as he and his friends quest for the answer to the Question of Life, the Universe and Everything ... and search for a really good cup of tea.Ready or not, Arthur Dent is in for one hell of a ride!
Children of Prophecy
Glynn Stewart - 2014
In the time since, the Kingdom of Vishni has known quiet, and the Swarm beyond the mountains has grown in strength and numbers. Now, with the Time of Prophecy at hand, dark forces move to fulfil ancient visions. Two men, born to poverty but bearing the blood of those ancient Mages, will rise to decide the fate of both Swarm and Kingdom as the fires of this ancient conflict rise anew.
My Alien Warrior
Vi Voxley - 2016
Alina Reyes is finally getting off Terra. After years of working her hands to the bone, the curvy scientist has gotten her first intergalactic assignment. With stars in her eyes, she's hoping to make a difference where she never could before. But no sooner than when she gets off the ship does it become obvious that science will not be all she will have to deal with on her mission. Caden is a Skaoi warrior who only desires to fight for what's right. A mate is the last thing on his mind, yet when he meets Alina, something stirs in him. It takes no more than one look to know that she belongs to him. No Skaoi has ever taken a mate outside of their race, and Caden's choice is blasphemous at its purest form. But a man knows when he is right and the universe is wrong. Even with his whole race against him and danger threatening from those closest to him, Caden knows that Alina must be his. Now there's only the small problem of making her see that. And surviving long enough to enjoy it. My Alien Warrior is a full scifi novel with a happy ending, plenty of steam, bloody battles and alien-human intrigue. It is a standalone and has been co-written by two of the hottest scifi romance authors, Vi Voxley and Juno Wells.
London Irish
Zane Radcliffe - 2002
One of them has to get out. For good...It is the summer of 1999. Bic (half-Irish, half-Scots) is eking out a living selling crêpes to the hordes descending on Greenwich market. With one severed ear, two bizarre deaths and the arrest of his dog for civil disobedience, Bic's year hasn't exactly been going to plan.But when raven-haired Roisin takes the stall opposite his, things seem to be looking up - if Bic can just get past her over-protective brothers. That is, until Bic wakes up the-morning-after-the-night-before, in his clothes, in Edinburgh, to find he's the UK's Most Wanted Man - on the run and with fourteen murders to his name... 'Very fresh, very funny' COLIN BATEMAN'A huge and exciting plot...I loved the twist at the end' Goodreads'Great story and full of humour' Goodreads