Smart phones can make us look really dumb! Get this e-book and laugh your #@% off at what happens when you don't double-check before you hit send! Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    

    In "Sewing Green, " Betz White takes stitching to an even higher level of sustainability, presenting 25 projects made from "repurposed" thrift-store and back-of-the-closet finds and organic fabrics. White's whimsical yet practical designs include an apron constructed from men's dress shirts (and a wallet from the shirts' cuffs ), a soft blanket pieced from secondhand cashmere sweaters, and even a tote bag refashioned from used Tyvek envelopes. Along the way, White dispenses tips on everything from how to deconstruct old garments for reuse in new creations to how to wrap gifts with resusable fabric scraps instead of paper. Inspiring profiles about well-known leaders in the eco-stitching movement are sprinkled throughout, and a complete resources section helps crafters make eco-smart choices. With "Sewing Green, " today's sewers will be fashioning handmade heirlooms and sustaining traditions for generations to come.

    Welcome to the ER. This book is not about life and death struggles. This book is the polar opposite. It is about the absolute, over the top insanity that I have witnessed during my time in the ER. This book is the untold, unseen, and unshared rants and raves of an ER nurse, who has been slowly being driven mad by his patients. I want you, the reader to step into my scrubs, see this bizarre world through my eyes, and understand that once you stop laughing in the ER, it's time to quit. This book is the stupid stories that I still don’t believe. It’s the codes gone crazy. It’s the “I can’t believe you said that.” It’s a testament to everything an ER nurse puts up with on a day in and day out basis that most people don’t know exists. It makes Scrubs, E.R., House, and all the other medical shows look like fairy tales. As an ER nurse, I want to let the world know that when we pull that curtain and leave the room, we are laughing because let’s face it, it’s funny. Please from this moment forward stop and close this book if you think you are about to read about nursing at it’s finest. This is not Florence Nightingale’s kind of nursing; this is the grit, spit, vomit and s#!t that comes with the job I love/hate so much.

    But she quickly learned that while she may have been ready for Hollywood, Hollywood wasn't necessarily ready for her. At four foot two, Terra was born with achondroplasia, a form of short-limbed dwarfism, and because of her diminutive stature she often faced unimaginable prejudice and bigotry. After spending time in the trenches, as an evil elf on Ozzie Osbourne's Merry Mayhem Tour and later as a dancer on Miley Cyrus's Bangerz Tour, Terra struck out on her own and carved out a career for herself as a mini-Britney and mini-Gaga impersonator. But with her larger than life optimism and absolute belief in herself, Terra was determined not to be a "mini-anything" for long and she ultimately captured the hearts of reality TV fans around the world as the star and executive producer of the groundbreaking A+E Network's Lifetime television show Little Women: LA.

    With 20 projects geared toward a variety of skill levels, including a useful tutorial on techniques for beginners, crocheters of all types can join in on the fun. Edie Eckman’s passion for crafting is evident in these inspired designs that cover not only traditional stockings and tree skirts, but delightful twists on other Christmas traditions, like a sock-and-mitten advent calendar. Crochet a holiday full of joy for the whole family.

    They provide examples of a dozen alphabet styles, as well as many decorative details. Color photography reveals more than merely the necessary brush and pen techniques—it also shows a vast range of ideas for using calligraphy in new and surprising ways.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    In this charming collection, acclaimed toymaker and popular blogger Hillary Lang presents a captivating gang of 24 huggable, lovable creatures to sew—from classics like Margot, a topsy-turvy doll, and the button-jointed teddy bear Bjorn Bjornson, to irresistible Evelyn, a wool felt inchworm decked out in mod glasses and a kerchief, and Koji, a fiercely cute spiked softie monster. There’s something for everyone here—from kids to grown-ups and from beginning sewers to advanced dollmakers. Each pattern includes clear illustrations and pattern templates to ensure perfect results.

    In the span of her early childhoodthrough adulthood, Esther takes you on a journey of unspeakable losses, survival,resilience and strong family bonds.For Esther, the youngest of fourteen siblings born into a conservative Mennonite Colony in the heart of South America, everyday life revolves around rules, routine and monotonous chores on a family farm without so much as electricity and running water. As she sees it, her childhood is normal and ordinary. That is until one catastrophic day when everything changes. Suddenly, eleven-year-old Esther must leave behind everything she’s ever known.This is the true, heartbreaking account of growing up in a Mennonite family and theharrowing events that eventually lead to her and her three youngest siblings’ dramatic escape to Canada. Everything Esther has ever known about her identity is left behind as she struggles to find a place for herself in a new country, a new culture, and a new language.

    There are only a few books written on the subject and most of those focus on 'flat' needle felting on a surface. This book is about sculptural needle felting—creating 3-D animals and figures using the felting needle to sculpt wool.The book shows the techniques and describes how the felting needle works with wool fiber to create felt, while explaining the differences between this art form and other forms of felting. The reader will learn how to hold the needle, what sort of materials to use, and why.There are about 20 complete projects including various birds, bugs, four-legged animals, and people-each one unique and irresistible! Laurie also shows the reader ways to display their felted creations as mobiles, ornaments, or arranged in shadow boxes.

    Some of these are for bookmarks, others are for wall decor, and still others can take on a whole host of finished outcomes. What they have in common is their literary bent—the patterns speak to all manner of literary-minded book lovers, who are happy to display their nerdier sides. And what better way than through your own cross-stitch art to hang on your wall, prop on your desk, or even gift to friends and family. And most, if not all, are beginner friendly and can be completed in a few hours—instant stitchification! So grab yourself some excellent embroidery floss, hoops, and needles, and pick out one or more of these great cross-stitch patterns for your next project.

    It is the place where our families meet and mingle, where we share our meals and share our dreams. So much more than just a space to live, our homes offer us a place of comfort, nourishment, and love for us and for our children. In Handmade Home, Amanda Blake Soule, author of The Creative Family and the blog SouleMama.com, offers simple sewing and craft projects for the home that reflect the needs, activities, and personalities of today’s families. As Amanda writes in the introduction, “As a crafter, I’m always looking for the next thing I want to make. As a mama, I’m always looking for the next thing we need—to do, to have, to use—as a family. The coming together of these parts is where the heart of Handmade Home lies.” Filled with thirty-three projects made by reusing and repurposing materials, all of the items here offer a practical use in the home. From picnic blankets made out of repurposed bed sheets to curtains made out of vintage handkerchiefs, these projects express the sense of making something new out of something old as a way to live a more financially pared-down and simple life; lessen our impact on the earth; connect to the past and preserve a more traditional way of life; and place value on the work of the hands. Also included are projects that children can help with, allowing them to make their own special contribution to the family home. More than just a collection of projects for handmade items, this book offers the tools to create a life—and home—full of beauty, integrity, and joy. Projects include:    • Papa’s Healing Cozy: This hot water bottle cover becomes a simple way to offer comfort to a sick child    • Baby Sling: A simple pattern for an object that offers so much to a small child—refuge from the world and a place to lay their head next to a parent’s heart    • Beach Blanket To-Go: Repurpose old sheets to create the perfect picnic blanket for special outdoor meals    • Cozy Wall Pockets: A creative solution for storing a child’s small treasures

    From temperance quilts to the AIDS quilt, there’s a rich history of individuals and communities using fabric and thread to connect with others and express themselves, both personally and politically. Why We Quilt blends bits of this history with the stories and work of today’s leading quilters, highlighting themes of tradition, community, consumerism, change, and creativity. With a unique die-cut cover and a richly layered design, this book will enthrall designers, quilters, and all types of handcraft enthusiasts.