Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    Women have written lewd messages on his body with lipstick, and two guys are using him as a human toilet. Against Kaylee’s wishes, Ivy decides to get involved. She soon learns four things: his name is Bobby; he’s not drunk, but been drugged; he drives a great car; and he’s separated from his wife. Ivy cleans him up, drives him home. When he starts feeling better, they flirt. If you guess she winds up in bed with him, you’re right. But that’s the last thing you’ll guess correctly in this million-mile-an-hour twisting tale! PRELIMINARY COMMENTS Casting Call moves at warp speed! Hilarious! Mind-blowing. Impossible to predict. Locke’s latest has more twists and turns than a Rubik’s Cube! I literally flew through this book. Can’t remember ever turning pages this fast!

    Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    The Aggadeh Empire was seeking dragons. Little did Nem expect that he would come face-to-face with both in the far north city of Balon. Is he destined to become an ally of the Empire? Or its prisoner? And what is he going to do with a dragon who might turn the city into a bloodbath?

    You are clearly a fan of this legendary game that goes by the name of MINECRAFT! I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret! “MINECRAFT: Funny clean Minecraft jokes and memes for Children. (Minecraft, Minecraft Secrets, Minecraft Stories, Minecraft Books For Kids, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Comics, Minecraft Xbox)” is a great choice for anyone with a sense of humor, especially a fan of this great and iconic game! You will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place Let the laughs begin…

     When Jack Waldie and his wife Nicola buy a house in rural Spain they intend to start a new life there, away from the hustle and bustle of Glasgow, but when things go awry between them Jack chooses to keep the spacious old place and moves there to write his crime novels in peace. In the small village in an area known as Spanish Lapland, due to its ever decreasing population, Jack befriends key local people who refuse to allow their birthplace to die. When he’s persuaded to look for a lodger in order to further their aims, the scene is set for a far more eventful summer than he anticipated.

     After seven years of self-imposed exile after the love of her life cheated on her, Becca is finally going home. She’d like to think she’s being brave but in her honest moments she knows she’s being forced into it by the loss of her job. Can she trust herself not to hunt down her cheating ex and fling herself into his arms? Will she ever find the true love that she yearns for? Finding the perfect home with a hot but unavailable landlord and a life far better than she could have hoped for, Becca is still plagued by self-doubt. Is she annoying? Is she the most accident prone person in the world? Is she dislikeable? She thinks she might be all of these, but most importantly, is she normal? Because normal people don’t have The Beccabird squawking in their ears...

    (Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.) Set in the 1970s, in a small town in the English midlands, the book describes the medical misadventures of a young, harassed GP who is learning on the job. There's the embarrassed vicar with the guilty secret, the private patient who pays him to keep her ill, a beautiful young patient who insists on being examined in the bath, a six year old marble swallower and an a difficult encounter with a patient who can't speak a word of English. A huge hit in the UK and the USA when first published these books have only now been made available as ebooks on Amazon. Here's what the critics said about the Edward Vernon books: Warm and humorous...the anecdotes pour out of every page - Lancashire Evening Post Genuinely funny - South Wales Argus Wise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga Times Most of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford Times Good fun - Homes and Gardens The funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard Gordon Jolly good reading - Publishers Weekly Truthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily Telegraph Will amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Post Views the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain Daler Thoroughly delightful - Fresno Bee Hilarious - Titbits A delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton Rouge For entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacromento Bee Does for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - Booklist Hilarious, written with skill and zest - Evening Telegraph Very funny - Citizen, Gloucester etc etc

    After a long career spent rescuing prisoners from the KGB or helping defectors across the Berlin Wall the world has changed. The Wall has gone and no longer is there a need for a Russian speaking, ice-cold killer. The bad guys now all speak Arabic and state secrets are transmitted via satellite using blowfish algorithms impenetrable to anybody over the age of twelve. Counting down the days to his retirement by babysitting drunken visiting politicos he is seconded by MI6 for one last case. £250,000,000 of government money destined as a payoff for the dictator of a strategic African nation goes missing on its way to a remote Cornish airfield. Tremayne is dispatched to retrieve the money and nothing is going to stand in his way. Armed with an IQ of 165 and a bewildering array of weaponry and gadgets he is not about to be outmanoeuvred by the inhabitants of a small Cornish fishing village. Or is he? The Money That Never Was is a hilarious new novel by the author of the best selling "Return of The Hippy". Combining the innocent humour of the old Ealing Comedies with themes of alienation and belonging David Luddington manages to weave an engaging tale of one man's personal struggle with a world gone mad. It just happens that the man who is struggling is a trained MI6 agent, ruthless and efficient and the world with which is is struggling consists of fish & chips, cider and fudge. Not to mention the bungling Barry Penwrith desperate to hang on to his windfall.

    His wife Helen feels isolated in their large suburban home where her social life has all but disappeared as a result of their life long friends relocating to various retirement communities around the country. Mike is dead set against such a move, viewing it as a giant step closer to the grave. Mike and Helen struggle to come to a mutually agreeable solution spending countless hours visiting one retirement community after another. Their journey takes them from Connecticut to Florida and numerous stops in between. You guessed it. Mike finds objections everywhere and voices them non-stop to every sales agent. Then out of the blue all their plans take an unexpected turn.

    But by day Gerry is Gerrard, who is not only married, he’s a vicar. A vicar with doubts. Although Lucinda, his wife, has very few doubts when a trip to Birmingham goes startlingly right. And ageing gigolo Nelson never sees himself as a messiah until Albert convinces him he can walk on water – or is that just revenge for Nelson having put his head down the toilet at school? Does Gerrard really witness the Second Coming? Will Lucinda’s American prove himself in Hong Kong? And will the Late Contessa ever retrieve her Bentley?Find out in Giles Curtis’s twelfth rip-roaring, hilarious romp through the intricacies of fidelity, faith and epiphanies.

    And so when she meets and falls in love with Daniel Fallow, son of a successful businessman, she's quick to accept his proposal of his marriage. His family, though, are against the match, and so the young couple marry in secret. Grudging acceptance follows, and as the Depression worsens Daniel is persuaded to join the family business, unaware of his father's dodgy dealings. Tragedy is just around the corner, and worse is to come when war is declared in 1939: as Daniel leaves to fight and her children are evacuated, Hope wonders if she will ever have all her family around her again...

    As their friendship strengthens, Kelise’s resistance to relationships—thanks to her past— starts to lower. The possibility of something more with Mike enters her mind but not before he sets his eyes on a new distraction named Danielle Kingston. As Mike and Danielle’s relationship attempts to bloom, Kelise learns some unsettling information about Mike’s new lady, but also finds herself caught up in a distraction of her own with a sexy blast from her past. Mike realizes he may have made a mistake in his choice and now has to deal with the consequences of watching Kelise’s happiness be sparked by another guy. In a series of missed opportunities and misunderstandings, can Mike and Kelise get their minds and hearts on the same page or will they have to deal with a chance not taken? >>>Note: This book is a standalone and can be read as such. However, it is advised and recommended that you check out By Chance as well, which is the first story in the series and connected to the main characters of Chance Taken, to get the complete reading experience <<<

     After the Civil War, Will Garrison takes his family west. Together they build a ranch and battle powerful Indian tribes who have hunted the lands for centuries. A peace feather is offered after a climactic battle. With the Indian tribes and the Garrisons now walking a path of peace, a new threat has emerged… the railroad. Greedy government-backed killers plan to annihilate everyone and claim the land they need to expand their rail lines north across Colorado and into Utah. Their vile, sinister plan is revealed after many fights. Will Garrison’s son, Gabe, fights back and unleashes his pent-up vengeance against the railroad and kills one of their hired mercenaries. A destined meeting of chance leaves him rescuing a bloodied woman and falling hopelessly in love with the dark beauty. May is a brave woman who fights to guard a secret of her own. Together they flee to ancient trails, and as paid assassins track them, it becomes a long vengeance trail of dead men. When May reveals her deadly secret, Gabe finds himself at war with the railroad, an evil killer, and with everything he ever knew. He knows it’s time for GUNSIGHT JUSTICE! This is the action-packed Western that will remind you that freedom is something you must always fight for. Good battles evil as epic conflicts become climatic love scenes, and you find yourself breathlessly riding a trail of danger, deceit and passion with Mike Hundley in this Western that leaves no bullet unfired, no emotion untouched, and no reader left behind. This book was previously published as "The Silver Saddle."