The first sufferer is Harold Greensmeyer, who contracts USAC while at the supermarket. He is soon confined to a mental hospital, where he encounters a cast of curious characters – the compulsive psychiatrist who tries to treat him, a woman convinced that she and Harold are fated to marry, and a befuddled cop who believes Harold is a mystic. When USAC spreads and the hospital is quarantined, they escape together in search of answers, love, and a cure.

    In ONLY WHEN I LAUGH, his rich and beautifully-observed autobiography, Paul takes us on an evocative journey from his working-class Fulham childhood to the present day. Whether writing about school days, his run-ins with the nuns and other pupils; his disastrous first confession; his meatpacking job; taking acid; leaving home to live in bedsit; his early brushes with the opposite sex – and not forgetting his repeated attempts to break into the world of comedy – Paul’s writing is always funny, poignant and revealing. And when his star finally ascends in the atmospherically drawn 1980s alternative cabaret scene there is a sense of excitement, energy, camaraderie, momentum and dramatic impending success……And then CRASH! In an unflinching and brilliantly written section that defines the book, we experience the disorienting and terrifying sustained manic episode that he suffered which landed him in a psychiatric hospital. These, and other tougher moments, are written about candidly and with sensitivity and honesty. Yet throughout ONLY WHEN I LAUGH, Paul Merton succeeds in telling his life story entertainingly, with warmth, humour and a big bucket load of wit. Ultimately uplifting, it is the story of a fascinating life, brilliantly told – and one of the best memoirs of the year.

    The smoke-spewing, banshee-wailing, fearsome black thing hisses like a thousand cobras... and the villagers declare that this Thing is an Iron Demon—a yakada yaka.The Burghers who drive these Iron Demons have a penchant for challenging authority and courting trouble, sometimes just to liven things up in the railway outposts... and so it is that Sonnaboy and Meerwald chase a large group of villagers all across Anuradhapura, mother-naked but not much bothered by it, Ben Godlieb conjures up a corpse in his cowcatcher, Dickie Byrd single-handedly demolishes a Pentecostal Mission and is hailed as the messiah of the Railway fraternity, and Basil Van der Smaght filches a human heart and feeds it to the Nawalapitiya railway staff ...and to cap it all, Sonnaboy takes French Leave to act in The Bridge on the River Kwai!

    Modeled after popular bird spotters’ guides, Straight People is an affectionate and humorous guide to the varied species and subspecies of the sexual majority: the heterosexual. In this hilarious and easy-to-use field guide, actor and author Jeffery Self compiles everything you’ve ever wanted to know about heteros including their nesting behavior, feeding and mating habits, migration patterns, key identification features, and more. Complemented with fun two-color illustrations, interactive charts, graphs, and quizzes throughout, Straight People is sure entertain readers for all walks of life.

    This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.

    This is my story that you have asked me to tell. Those who suffer from depression will understand and those who don't will hopefully learn how to.'This is the book that Denise Welch wished for as she found herself exhausted and defeated after yet another visit from The Unwelcome Visitor - the name she gives to the episodes of clinical depression she has suffered from over the past 30 years.For so many understanding their mental health is a leap into the unknown, and they are left grappling with the physical and emotional fallout without any guidance or someone to tell them 'you're not alone and you can live a happy and successful life alongside your illness'. Within these pages Denise reveals her ongoing journey from breakdowns to breakthroughs and through self-destruction to self-acceptance.Typically candid, Denise brings her trademark humour and honesty to a conversation that we urgently need to have, and shows readers it is brave and courageous to be open and vulnerable, and you too can take back control.

    

    Containing Harry's favourite jokes picked from the world's joke archive, it also features jokes written by Harry, including some brand-new ones written specially for this book.

    (Women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply)."I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for." Jon RichardsonIs your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man.Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obsessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

    She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described…Idiot. With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice.Oh, the places I've peed --High school Hammer time --My summer of (possibly too much) freedom --How to ignore a hundred red flags --The Damon inside --A spoonful of sugar --Look, Mom! I'm on TV! --New beginnings (but, like, for real) --Two apartments and a home --Maggie: cat --Walking through fear

    Laboriously compiled from three years of blog posts from MattressPolice.com, this collection covers topics as varied as the Incredible Hulk, perpetual motion machines and Satanism, and is sure to keep you running back to the bathroom for more. In fact, we've even included (on page 187*) a laminated card that reads: PLEASE EXCUSE MY FREQUENT TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM AS I HAVE A SEVERE BOWEL AND/OR URINARY TRACT CONDITION. This will allow you to read in peace without having to face embarrassing questions from your family and friends. *If your card is missing, please check all of the other pages. If you still don't find it, address the proprietor of the book shop sternly as follows: "SIR OR MADAM: I AM SHOCKED TO FIND THAT THIS BOOK CONTAINS NO CARD INDICATING THAT I HAVE A SEVERE BOWEL AND/OR URINARY TRACT CONDITION. WHAT, SIR OR MADAM, ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, EXACTLY?" If you are still unable to get satisfaction, please purchase a copy of the author's critically acclaimed, bestselling novel Mercury Falls. The card is on page 119. WE PROMISE.

    But now that she's in India, Rachel is going with the flow, or at least trying to...Rachel's visa is running out and it's time to decide whether her relationship with Seb is a holiday romance or built to last.The pair embark on a trip to Nepal for an Everest base camp trek, but will their relationship survive this gruelling expedition or is it time to part ways?

    Based on actual experiences and official records from World War II, Kicker is a thrilling war novel of a man’s journey into hell. From the pleasant hills of Pennsylvania to the torrid jungles of Burma, Sam endures relentless enemy attacks against his unarmed aircraft while his family struggles with shortages and rationing at home. This is the tale of "the forgotten front", the bloody, grueling campaign to push the Japanese out of Burma.Although Kicker is an epic work of historical fiction, this World War 2 thriller is based on official military aviation history records and the real experiences of United States veterans who fought in the China-Burma-India Theater (CBI) "the forgotten front". Through unforgettable scenes in Burmese skies filled with monsoon storms and enemy fighter planes, Kicker tells the story of the brave Army Air Corps soldiers who risked their lives in unarmed aircraft to drop supplies to Merrill's Marauders and over 750,000 allied soldiers fighting in the perilous jungles of Burma.In effort to keep Japanese forces occupied in China, the Allies flew unarmed supply missions over the treacherous Himalayan Mountains between India and China. Their route, known as The Hump, saw the loss of over 1500 airmen and 2000 planes due to endless attacks by Japanese Zeros and some of the world's worst flying conditions. The Hump became known as "the skyway to hell" and "the aluminum trail" from the large amount of aircraft wreckage strewn across the Himalayan slopes.Allied soldiers in the jungles of Burma fought everyday just to survive. They faced elite, fearless Japanese soldiers and man-eating beasts. The Allies were surrounded by poisonous snakes, insects, and plants. These brave men suffered through monsoon seasons, so wet and humid, their uniforms rotted off their bodies as they fought fanatical Kamikaze armies through jungle and swamplands.From the Forgotten Front to the Homefront, Kicker brings you the story of America's Greatest Generation through the eyes of the men and women who would be forever haunted by their experiences.Reviews from fans of Kicker:"I could not put this book down, as the story of Sam, the young volunteer and aspiring pilot, unfolds. The author delivers his story telling with a rich back drop of historical details reflecting a thoroughly researched knowledge of the subject matter." Elray"Would recommend this not only to history buffs and WWII aficionados (like myself) but to any reader interested in being transported to another time and place, one that shaped all of our lives and fortunes today, worldwide." W.M. Driscoll"What an interesting story! I learned so much about heroes not mentioned in history books." Jacquie Rhoades"History made real through the telling of one soldier's story. This book made me miss my father and all of the stories he never told me." Linda S. Browning"Hoover leaves nothing out. He shows the sacrifices made on the battle front, as well as sacrifices made on the home front." Candi Silk

    No cliffhanger! Dual POV. Rated 18+ for frequent sex scenes.**From the USA Today bestselling author of the Peaches Monroe series and Borrowed Billionaire, comes a hilarious new story of unstoppable passion.Skye Evans is a former stripper, trying to live a "good" life teaching dance to kids. She also hates rich people. Really hates them.Charlie Ward is rich. He's twenty-nine, and caught between partying and growing up enough to have a relationship with someone besides his best friend.When Charlie finds Skye crashing a party at the exclusive country club he owns, he's captivated by her long, beautiful dancer's legs. He takes her on a private tour of the pool, where they discover perfect chemistry.Unfortunately for these two lonely lovers, Skye still hates rich people, and Charlie's still rich. Charlie and Skye fit together so well when they're naked, but they must find creative ways to get over their differences and let themselves love.

     Book One: INTO THE DEEP Book Two: OUT OF THE SHALLOWS Live young. Live hard. Love deep. Charley Redford was just an ordinary girl until Jake Caplin moved to her small town in Indiana and convinced her she was extraordinary. Almost from day one Jake pulled Charley into the deep and promised he was right there with her. But when a tragic incident darkened Jake’s life he waded out into the shallows and left Charley behind. Almost four years later Charley thinks she’s moved on. That is until she takes a study year abroad in Edinburgh and bumps into none other than Jake Caplin at a party with his new girlfriend. The bad-boy-turned-good attempts to convince Charley to forgive him, and as her best friend starts spending time with Jake’s, Charley calls a truce, only to find herself tumbling back into a friendship with him. As they grow closer, the spark between them flares and begins playing havoc with their lives and relationships. When jealousy and longing rear their destructive heads, Charley and Jake struggle to come to grips with what they mean to one another. And even if they work it out, there is no guarantee Charley will ever trust Jake to lead her back into the deep…