But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem for a mistress prepared by a stranger at the click of a button? How entitled is a culture that keeps these services afloat? Mindsploitation uses such questions as a launching pad for wildly entertaining comedic exchanges. The 50 assignments in this book hilariously explore self-help, spirituality, family, health, diet, pop culture, love, and more.

    Their book promises to take mid-life by its elasticated waist and give it a brisk going over with a stiff brush. At a time of constant uncertainty, what we all need is the wisdom and experience of two women who haven't got a clue what's happening either.

    24 chapters of poignancy, humor, and poignant humor. Chapters include, "That the Paul David Hewson urinal?" - "Brushes with the spirit world aka WTF was that?" - "Don't mess with a mother's love, or Don't be a d*ck to your little sister!" You're sure to have a favorite! Prepare to laugh and cry . . . sometimes at the same time!

    To the millions unable to get to their teams' games on Saturday afternoons, the next best thing is undoubtedly the pleasurable company of Jeff and the Sky Sports videprinter for a cozy marathon on the sofa. If someone's got to reveal that your beloved team have just gone 3�0 down away from home and had a man sent off, it's best if it's consummate professional Jeff who breaks the news to you. Avid Hartlepool fan Jeff knows our pain and shares our joy—but mostly he knows our pain. The long-time host of SkySports' iconic Soccer Saturday show has become a cult figure, universally admired for his encyclopedic knowledge of the game, his genuine and unlimited enthusiasm for all levels of soccer, and his wicked sense of humor which makes the six-hour long show simply whiz by. This deliciously chaotic, hugely entertaining, anecdote-ridden, humorous taste of life in the Soccer Saturday studio reveals what Jeff has to say about some of the show's legendary pundits over the years—ex-players such as George Best, Rodney Marsh, Chris Kamara, Charlie Nicholas, and Matt Le Tissier. Get the inside track on all those great one-liners: "Mansfield Town's Gareth Jellyman has been shown the red card for dissent. Looks like Jellyman's thrown a wobbly." "Darlington's equalizer has been scored by Guyain Ndumbu-Nsungu. Very much a case of local boy makes good." "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight." "James Brown's grabbed a second for Hartlepool. I feel good!" Jellyman's Thrown a Wobbly goes a long way to demonstrate how a six-hour long, studio-based show with no live action pictures and featuring men gazing into TV monitors which the viewer can't see, can hold a huge audience enthralled every Saturday afternoon between August and May.

    Now, I am sleeping in kickers and a vest under a fan. Let the mosquitos bite me. They can have me ... Can we live here? ... If I don't become roadkill in the next few days, I'll let you know my thoughts. In 2009, Sarah and John Alderson quit their full-time jobs in London and headed off, with Alula, their three-year-old daughter, on a global adventure to find a new home. For eight months, they travelled through Australia, the US and Asia navigating India with a toddler in a tutu, battling black magic curses in Indonesia and encountering bears in North America asking themselves one defining question: Can We Live Here? Inspirational, hilarious and fascinating this is an unforgettable travel memoir and a unique guide to quitting your job, following your dreams and finding your home in a far-flung paradise

    Everything you could possibly want from Nora Ephron is here—from her writings on journalism, feminism, and being a woman (the notorious piece on being flat-chested, the clarion call of her commencement address at Wellesley) to her best-selling novel, Heartburn, written in the wake of her devastating divorce from Carl Bernstein; from her hilarious and touching screenplay for the movie When Harry Met Sally . . . (“I’ll have what she’s having”) to her recent play Lucky Guy (published here for the first time); from her ongoing love affair with food, recipes and all, to her extended takes on such controversial women as Lillian Hellman and Helen Gurley Brown; from her pithy blogs on politics to her moving meditations on aging (“I Feel Bad About My Neck”) and dying. Her superb writing, her unforgettable movies, her honesty and fearlessness, her nonpareil humor have made Nora Ephron an icon for America’s women—and not a few of its men.

    And now, for the first time anywhere, he tells you how he does it -- and how you can, too. Making The Game -- Triple H's Approach to a Better Body is Triple H's verbal and visual blueprint for building your body. He discusses how "a Jones for bodybuilding and a love for wrestling" morphed a skinny, 135-pound fourteen-year-old into one of the biggest Superstars in World Wrestling Entertainment. But be warned -- the "Cerebral Assassin" has two words for anyone who's not serious about the craft: "Complacency sucks!" He's spent the past twenty years living by the philosophy that training results in improved strength and conditioning, self-discipline, and an ability to focus on setting goals. This book isn't for pantywaists who'd rather exercise their egos. Triple H had help along the way. He didn't get to be "that damn good" without the support of a loving family. And over the years several bodybuilders (including world-renowned trainer Charles Glass) worked with him to develop the best training regimens. Their advice, plus hardcore commitment, helped Paul Levesque survive "The Hard Way In" through Walter "Killer" Kowalski's wrestling school and become "Terra Rising" in Kowalski's International Wrestling Federation; enabled him to adjust to a difficult life on the road as "the French guy" in World Championship Wrestling; and gave "Hunter Hearst-Helmsley" the self-assurance he needed to succeed. Making The Game breaks down and demonstrates the split-training workout program Triple H has embraced to achieve new levels of success in sculpting his body. Between drilling you with reps and sets, he relates how training gave him the inner strength to shoulder the brunt of a controversial "Curtain Call" in the ring and, later, to elevate his position with Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock as one of the "Big Three" in WWE. Relive the fateful Raw events of May 2001 that left Triple H with a torn quadriceps muscle. Then you too can feel "The Triple H Burn," the series of exercises he endured through nine months of physical therapy so he could resume his wrestling career. Besides offering the lowdown with step-by-step exercises for both novice bodybuilders and those looking to radically advance their workout, Making The Game weighs in on the science behind progressive-training resistance and rest-pause techniques; the significance of exercise form over volume; the truth behind achieving "six-pack abs"; the dangers of overtraining and "skullcrushing" exercises that risk injury; and how creativity can go a long way in your workout. Triple H sees it as his mission to provide the guidelines for you to follow in the months and years ahead. And if there's one thing he knows how to do, it's succeed. It's time to stop playing The Game...and time to start Making The Game.

    Sir Ernest Shackleton had carefully picked crew and a stout, well-outfitted ship, the Endurance. But he had no radio, the world was at war, and at the edge of the Antarctic continent, the ship froze in the sea ice. After months of immobility, it was crushed. Then began an impossible journey. With three tiny boats, the crew worked their way across frozen the Antarctic Sea. This vivid book recounts the story of Shackleton's heroic voyage from South Georgia Island to Antarctica then back to South Georgia. It is a tribute to Shackleton and his crew's ability to fight for survival and one of the most harrowing adventures in history.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    Turning The Tables is the first published history of the company which grew from a run-down bingo hall to become a national pay-per-view competitor... then crashed in a sea of debt. John Lister (author of Slamthology) gives an independent, objective and informative account that reveals hidden secrets and shatters common myths. From a little-known truth about ECW's most famous feud to a blow-by-blow account of what really happened in Revere, this book will give you the true story behind America's most controversial wrestling group.

    Like those other outstanding comics Spike Milligan and Peter Cook he had an innate belief in absurdity as a way of life - his humour and sheer joy in madness for its own sake was as likely to find its outlet on the street as on the stage. The other Pythons often said that just listening to Graham tell them about one of his wild evenings out was fodder for a dozen sketches. He was inventive, fearless, willing to take chances and make stands. Openly gay, capable of outrageous alcohol-fuelled behaviour, Graham Chapman lived an untidy life, and in some respects this book mirrors that. Inside is everything from television scripts and sketches to humorous essays on serious topics, comic flights of fancy that serve no purpose except to elicit a laugh, letters to friends and fellow hellraisers like Keith Moon and Ringo Starr, his behind-the-scenes account of the filming of Life of Brian, his views on fellow Pythons, and much more.

    True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. Dating an undertaker and much more. A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.

    Luckily, something remarkable happens wherever he roams. With his keen eye and original voice, he portrays evocative travel moments both big and small. In Sarajevo, he skis with soldiers at the height of the Bosnian War. Outside a Mexican bullring, two boys mistake him for their idol, a professional wrestler. And returning to a tropical paradise, he’s assigned the same hotel room where an older woman broke his heart five years earlier.Along the way, he challenges a rival to a goat race in Saudi Arabia, searches for his missing shoes with barefooted villagers in Honduras, plunges through the Himalayas in aviation’s most terrifying final approach, and joins the U.S. Navy—for one week, anyway. To top it off, he reveals his favorite travel tip gleaned from forty years of globetrotting.By turns hilarious, wistful, and dramatic, The Distance Between draws a captivating self-portrait of a lifelong vagabond and a writer critics call “a reader’s dream” (San Diego Union-Tribune).

    At first I tried to deny my condition (trying to treat a tumor with hot baths and ice packs). Eventually, I decided I would learn as much about my illness as possible while trying to keep my emotions on hold.What followed was an experience that finally forced me to deal with issues about my body that I had tried to ignore for decades. Along the way I dealt with a physician who gave me ridiculous advice and acquaintances who asked unbelievable questions. But I was also fortunate to be surrounded by people who supported me and doctors who helped me through the process.

    Whether it is the three headed guard dog Fluffy in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, or even the story of Smaug in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth in The Hobbit; all these pop culture mythical creatures have a deep connection to the mythologies and folktales of ancient cultures.Where did they come from? What relevance do they serve in mythology? Why are some so obscure, while others become pop-culture enigmas? Get the answer to these questions, and learn about beasts from different world cultures.Folklorist Zayden Stone dives deep into the stories of these magical beasts and providesa fictional anecdote,a retelling of the original myths,an analysis of the symbolism and relevance of the creatures,and then pairs it with some beautiful black and white illustrations reimagined by artist Herdhian.In the Mythical Creatures and Mythological Beasts book, the illustrated guide takes you through six themes that have been specifically chosen since they are consistent across cultures. The categories include:arthropods for insects, crustaceans, and arachnids;avian for birds;canines for wolves and dogs;serpents for snakes and dragons;ungulates for hooved animals like horses and cows; andaquatic for water dwelling beasts.Presenting the creatures in categories makes it easier to see what the beasts have in common. You will find some overlapping themes across ancient cultures that point to universal ideas in how humans perceive the world.If you wonder where your favorite creature is, you will probably find them within these pages, even if they do not have their own chapter. For example, the ever-popular Pegasus can be found in the tale of the Gorgon sisters. He also had a half-brother, Arion, who features in the ungulates section. There is also a brilliant white-winged horse from Islamic tradition which may sound very familiar to Pegasus as well.If you have a love for the myths and want to learn about the unique beasts that dwell within them, this book is a great way to do it. Not only will you learn about ones you may have never heard of, but you will also be able to draw parallels between cultures and see how they interpreted their surroundings through stories of mythical creatures and magical beasts.