The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships


Harriet Lerner - 1985
    Harriet Lerner, in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of our anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities


Dossie Easton - 1997
    Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love


Sue Johnson - 2008
    In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

The Nature of Happiness


Desmond Morris - 2004
    He shows that there are many ways of achieving happiness; for example, there is the inherent happiness that comes with the love of a child; the competitive happiness of triumphing over your opponents; the sensual happiness of the hedonist. Rather than preaching a particular behavior or way of life, Morris provides knowledge that we can use, if we wish, to make ourselves happier.

Sex at Dusk: Lifting the Shiny Wrapping from Sex at Dawn


Lynn Saxon - 2012
    Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá claim that their evidence shows that before 10,000 years ago sexual constraints did not exist, paternity was not an issue, and men and women engaged in fairly free and casual bonobo-like sexual activity. Our ancestors, they argue, not only shared food, they shared sex. Are they right? Using predominantly the same sources, SEX AT DUSK takes another look at that evidence, fills in many gaps, makes many corrections, and reveals something far less candy-coated. Bringing together evolutionary biology, primatology, anthropology, and human sexuality, SEX AT DUSK shows that, rather than revealing important facts about our sexual evolution, Ryan and Jethá shroud it in a fog of misinformation and faulty logic that can only lead us further into the dark."Nearly all biologists, including yours truly, haven’t bothered to waste their time on such tripe [Sex at Dawn], although a case can be made that we have a professional responsibility to respond when the public is being so egregiously misled. Fortunately, a rebuttal to the Sex at Dawn nonsense is now available via Amazon: Sex at Dusk. It’s not only a suitable slap-down of its woeful predecessor, but Ms. Saxon even got the science right! Moreover, she has a wide-ranging and delightful mind, worth spending time with." David Barash, author of The Myth of Monogamy: fidelity and infidelity in animals and people (Holt, 2002)"Human sexuality has always been politicized, prettified, sanitized, romanticized and mythologized. For adults for whom truth is the ultimate turn-on, I recommend Lynn Saxon's insightful treatment of this eternally fascinating subject." Steven Pinker, Harvard College Professor of Psychology, Harvard University, and the author of How the Mind Works and The Blank Slate."Cleaning the Augean Stables was one of Hercules's more odious tasks, but also perhaps the most useful. Correcting the errors and misrepresentations of Sex at Dawn has been Lynn Saxon's self-imposed labor, and she does it with Herculean strength. Moreover, Sex at Dusk isn't only well-written and scientifically valid, it is great fun as well! This particular transition from Dawn to Dusk is not only natural, but much needed." David P. Barash, Professor of Psychology, University of Washington, Seattle and author of Homo mysterious: evolutionary puzzles of human nature." (Oxford University Press)

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships


John M. Gottman - 2001
    . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of VirginiaFrom the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men


Lundy Bancroft - 2002
    So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men--and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:The early warning signs of abuse- The nature of abusive thinking- Myths about abusers- Ten abusive personality types- The role of drugs and alcohol- What you can fix, and what you can't- And how to get out of an abusive relationship safelyPrevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

Is He Mr. Right?: Everything You Need to Know Before You Commit


Mira Kirshenbaum - 2006
    Right? Tired of wasting time with one Mr. Wrong after another? You're not alone. Too many of us make bad decisions about the men in our lives and end up committing to relationships that don't bring us the happiness we deserve. Now you can have that crystal ball you were wishing for. With this groundbreaking book, internationally recognized relationship expert and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum turns her attention to the most common relationship question women have: Is he the one I should commit to? This is the only guide you'll ever need to answer that question once and for all. Offering savvy, straightforward advice gleaned from helping thousands of women find lasting love, Kirshenbaum offers the only step-by-step strategy for determining whether or not you should commit. "Is He Mr. Right?" will help you: - Decide if your guy is a keeper--or not - Identify the Five Dimensions of Chemistry and how to tell if you and your man have it - Understand the secret of women who find love: dump the duds fast - Focus on what you need to make you happy--and get it You will discover what you really want from a relationship, learn how to trust yourself again, and stop wasting time with guys who aren't right for you. A must-have for any woman, "Is He Mr. Right?" provides the tools you need to find real happiness in love.

The Women on My Couch: More Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy


Brandy Engler - 2015
    Dr. Brandy Engler, psychologist and sex therapist, allows readers access into the therapy room to witness how women are handling dilemmas such as: a husband’s proposal for a threesome, post- wedding disappointment, a new lover’s unusual kink, the temptation to cheat, love vs. singlehood, using sex work to pay for college loans and the ubiquitous loss of sexual desire.The Women on My Couch gives women a voice, and helps them find their voice, in a rapidly changing culture, where freedom is both liberating and confusing, exhilarating and at times disappointing. Women will see their lives mirrored back to them with honesty, warmth and humor.

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship


Stan Tatkin - 2012
    Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.Strengthen your relationship by:Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression


Terrence Real - 1997
    And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.This ground breaking book is the "pathway out of darkness" that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his ownexperiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.

Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women


David Zinczenko - 2006
    Using an exclusive Harris Interactive poll that surveyed more than 5,000 men and women, Men's Health(r) editor-in-chief David Zinczenko and coauthor Ted Spiker have written the book that explains and decodes the male creature how they act, what they think, and what they want in their relationships.With shocking and never-before-seen statistics and powerful confessions, the New York Times bestselling authors present a modern survival guide for women into the inner-workings of the male mind, explaining everything from why he clams up during a fight to the moment he knows he's found the one. This indispensable guide will help women understand the men in their lives through every step of courtship first dates, fights, break-ups, make-ups, marriage, and everything else along the way"so that women can break through and see what's happening inside the often bewildering male mind. How? With such features as:Say This, Not That: Perfect communication strategies for women to get what they want and to get men to open up!Masculinity Mastered: The surprising truths about men's feelings and how you can figure out exactly where he stands!The Ultimate Male Decoder: What it means when a man doesn't sleep over, when he gets insanely jealous, when he grunts during conversation, when he buys an appliance for a birthday gift--along with insights into dozens of other male mysteries!Wondering Woman: Answers to women's most pressing questions about men. Why can't he say he's sorry? Why can't he fight like an adult? Why can't he aim inside the toilet?Men's brains, feelings and actions can be harder to interpret than abstract art. So let MEN, LOVE & SEX: The Complete User's Guide for Women become your guide to navigating a relationship through all of its stages. Once you know the secrets to the male mind, you'll be able to bridge the communication gaps that divide men and women. You'll be able to strengthen the relationship you have now"or use your new insights to find the perfect man for you. In the end, you'll get better talks, better sex, better fighting, better understanding, better love, better relationships, and a better life.For the both of you.

Against Love: A Polemic


Laura Kipnis - 2003
    Love is, as everyone knows, a mysterious and all-controlling force, with vast power over our thoughts and life decisions.But is there something a bit worrisome about all this uniformity of opinion? Is this the one subject about which no disagreement will be entertained, about which one truth alone is permissible? Consider that the most powerful organized religions produce the occasional heretic; every ideology has its apostates; even sacred cows find their butchers. Except for love.Hence the necessity for a polemic against it. A polemic is designed to be the prose equivalent of a small explosive device placed under your E-Z-Boy lounger. It won't injure you (well not severely); it's just supposed to shake things up and rattle a few convictions.

Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky, and Indecisive Girl's Guide to Overcoming Fear of Commitment


Elina Furman - 2007
    Today, single women are the fastest-growing segment of the population, with over forty-seven million single women in this country and twenty-two million of them between the ages of twenty-five and forty-four. Whatever the reasons -- fear of divorce, increased financial independence, delayed motherhood -- more women than ever no longer feel the urgency, or the ability, to settle down. Lucky for this growing group of women, author and former commitment-phobe Elina Furman has written Kiss and Run, the first-ever book about female commitment anxiety. Filled with fun quizzes, first-person testimonials, and step-by-step action plans, Kiss and Run includes the top-five panic buttons, advice for curbing overanalysis, and tips for fixing negative commitment scripts. You'll also find the seven types of commitment-phobes, including the Nitpicker, the Serial Dater, and the Long-Distance Runner. Based on the stories of more than one hundred women, this straight-talking guide helps single women conquer commitment anxiety and say yes to love.

If Men Could Talk: Translating the Secret Language of Men


Alon Gratch - 2001
    It also includes practical insights and useful tips on how women and men can learn how to talk, and to change men's non-verbal, action-oriented communications into the language of emotional dialogue.