The thirty- five off-the-wall comic fantasies featured in Ashley's new collection are a mix of specially written stories and hard-to-find gems: a computer salesman in fairyland, a vampire football match, a psychotic Father Christmas, and a wizard allergic to magic. Ashley expertly turns fantasy and horror fiction on its head and magic into mayhem. This is huge fun for all comic fantasy fans.

    I loved everything about it.” —Jim Gaffigan We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see. From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more. Like a like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

    Truly, Madly, UndeadlyThis irresistible collection features stories of love amid vampires by five of today's hottest authors—Kristin Cast (Tempted), Richelle Mead (Vampire Academy), Alyson Noël (Evermore), Kelley Armstrong (The Summoning), and Francesca Lia Block (Pretty Dead).From a fugitive vampire forced to trust a boy who might work for the group bent on destroying her to the legendary romance of two immortals whose love compels them to risk everything, this heart-pounding collection brings new meaning to the words "love you forever." Whether you're into romances that are dark and moody or light and fun, these stories will quench that insatiable thirst for enchanting tales of the beautiful undead.Part of the Kisses from Hell Anthology

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    Fans of Fruits Basket, rejoice! Natsuki Takaya is back with the first of three new chapters in the Fruits Basket story revolving around The Three Musketeers, and you can read it digitally at the same time as Japan! Our favorite trio takes center stage, as Shigure and Ayame descend on Hatori for an impromptu Three Musketeers' banquet and hijinks ensue!(SPOILER WARNING) This story takes place around the same time as the last chapter of Fruits Basket, so for those who haven't read all of the manga, please proceed with caution!

    Lieutenant Orion Murphy is scheduled for execution due to a clerical error. His only out is to undergo a complete physical makeover, get a rank and name change, and agree to take over a new platoon in the Segnal Space Marine Corps (SSMC). Seeing that it's a case of comply or die, he accepts the offer. A week later, he finds himself standing on the bridge of The SSMC Reluctant with a misfit crew, an insane special agent, an antiquated robot mechanic, and his updated identity. Will the newly-named Commodore Don Harr be able to get control of the ship and crew? Can they all survive their first mission, especially since they're not really supposed to? And who came up with this mission, anyway? …it all makes Harr wonder if execution may have been the better option.Author Rating - Comedic-Red: Contains racy and irreverent humor, adult themes, situations, and language. Will likely be offensive to some people.

    From the author of The Black Knight Chronicles comes a new series of supernatural comedy with a Johnny Cash soundtrack and a Kevin Smith twist. The first collected edition of Bubba the Monster Hunter stories features the three "B's" of fine literature - beer, boobs and blood. Add the fourth B for Bubba and you've got a rollicking good time!Meet Bubba the Monster Hunter, a 6'5" 340-pound hero for the working man. If it goes bump in the night, Bubba'll kill it. Vampires, Zombies, Ghouls, Werewolves, Ghosts, Witches, Warlocks, whatever. If it can be shot, he'll shoot it. If it can be hit, he'll hit it. And if there's a payday involved, he's on the case. Voodoo Children - In this first Bubba the Monster Hunter story, everybody's favorite redneck is chasing zombies through the hills of Tennessee. Follow Bubba through beer joints, strip clubs and graveyards as he and his best helper Bertha (a .50 Desert Eagle Pistol) make sure that what's dead, stays dead.Ballet of Blood - He's back and badder than ever. Bubba the Monster Hunter returns in the hilarious follow-up to Voodoo Children. In Ballet of Blood, Bubba has to investigate a mysterious touring dance troupe that of course turns out to be more than he expected. Bubba, backed up as always by the hilarious Skeeter, has to make do with his wits and what weapons he can find backstage at a theatre to get out of his most dangerous adventure yet.Ho-Ho-Homicide - Bubba's back and this time he's in costume! Everybodys favorite redneck monster hunter goes undercover as a mall Santa to get to the bottom of a series of mysterious murders. Along the way he encounters snotty kids, annoying mothers, a smokin' hot elf, the spirit of Christmas and a tribe of fairies that would rather make war than toys!Tassels of Terror - Bubba's back, and this time it's personal! A mysterious fire destroyed a topless club in South Carolina, and Bubba must get to the bottom of the mystery and rescue a missing stripper before more bloodshed ensues. A timeless story of love and pole dancers by the author of Voodoo Children and Ho-Ho-Homicide.This collection also features a pair of John Hartness short stories never before available for purchase!

    It cries a lot and wears diapers. It also has horns, cloven hooves, and green skin.Zoey and Maurice the closet monster look for the unlikely parents in a crazy attempt to bring together the mismatched family. A dangerous prospect, considering the family's hostile relatives.Ill-Conceived Magic is a short story in the same world as the Monster Haven novels from Carina Press. It also includes a bonus first chapter of Pooka in My Pantry.This story can be enjoyed without having read the novels. However, it fits chronologically between book one, Monster in My Closet, and book two, Pooka in My Pantry. Books one and two are available everywhere great digital books are sold. Look for book three, Fairies in My Fireplace, in September of 2013.

    Let the mayhem begin… Xandie Meyers thought all her troubles were over when she moved to Point Muse, Maine. Instead, she inherited her great-aunt’s supernatural library and a snarky, talking cat. Not to mention a family of chaos-causing witches, furry law enforcement and a card-carrying demon from hell…and a dead body. Xandie Myers is suspect number one and she has no clue who’s targeting her. Sherlock librarian needs to swing into action and sniff the real killer out before she becomes the next victim—or ends up in jail for murders she didn’t commit. Can Xandie survive long enough to navigate her freaky new world? Or will things that go bump in the night have her for a midnight snack? If you like snarky dialogue, murder and mayhem, then you’ll love book one in Kelly Ethan’s Point Muse Mysteries, a new cozy paranormal mystery series. Unlock the mayhem of The Killer Knight and the Murderous Chairleg today!

    The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.

    

    L. James' bestselling Fifty Shades of Grey series:Young, arrogant, tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    Pull up a chair, grab a glass of your favorite, and listen to the stories spun by time travelers, cybernetic aliens, telepaths...and a bunch of regular folks on a mission to save the world, one customer at a time.Callahan's Crosstime Saloon contains the following stories, virtually all of which were published in Analog Science Fiction and Fact: * "The Guy With the Eyes" * "The Time-Traveler" * "The Centipede's Dilemma" * "Two Heads Are Better Than One" * "The Law Of Conservation of Pain" * "Just Dessert" * "A Voice is Heard in Ramah..." * "Unnatural Causes" * "The Wonderful Conspiracy"

    The original cover edition is here.Tequila Key is just like any other small town and I'm just like any other small town psychic. Scratch that. Tequila Key is a world onto itself and some people might think that I am one crayon short of the box. And, if we're being totally honest, Tequila Key is just like any other small town – if that town boasts a voodoo priestess and a few white witches for flavor. Turquoise blue water and the best margaritas this side of Mexico make it hard to leave. I'm Althea Rose, co-owner of Luna Rose Potions & Tarot Shop, and I've just stumbled into a love triangle while trying to save my best friend from being accused of murder. See? Just like any other small town.