Book picks similar to
Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls: A Cosmic Perspective of Codependence and the Human Condition by Robert Burney
self-help
mft
non-fiction
self-improvement
Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover, and Move On
Cynthia Zayn - 2007
The book's format of extensive research and in-depth interviews is woven around real-life case studies, making it relatable to the reader. If you find yourself questioning relationships with narcissistic parents, partners, siblings, friends, or co-workers, you may very well find the answers within these pages.Narcissistic Lovers provides a revealing look at narcissists and their victims:Danger signals that your partner is a narcissistHow destructive influences of a narcissist affect a relationshipInsights into what draws victims to narcissists and what steps to take to escape
How To Make Him BURN With Desire...Only For YOU (FOR WOMEN ONLY Book 2)
Lanie Stevens - 2013
There are a few chapters dedicated to what men have shared with me about things that will make them leave a relationship or be unhappy with their mate. However, this book is to empower you (women) and help you get ANY man to desire you. Get any man without making changes to your looks, behavior or personality. If you decide to make changes it will just be to improve yourself AND because that is what you desire. Let's face facts, most relationship books tell you "what you need to do to change yourself" and attract a man. Some tell you that you need to be a "bitch" and others that you need to be a "pussycat"…really? Just like there are all kinds of reasons you are attracted to a certain man, there are all kinds of reasons he will be attracted to you. Why would you arbitrarily change anything about yourself? What if the thing you change would be the ONE thing he would like about you? There are a few things that I found ALL men hate: 1) women who let themselves go physically; 2) women who "nag, bitch and complain"; and 3) women who use the "bait and switch" to get their man. I will cover those things in the book BUT this book is not written to change you. This book will have men desiring you (and only you) in spite of what you look like, your personality, physical appearance or outward desirability. You will learn a technique that can be used at any time and place. A technique that will have him wanting you and thinking about you with desire….whenever you please. Ladies, the power of the pussy is not located between your legs. It is located between your ears! You just don't know how to use it…yet! In "Pussy Whip" A Guide To Control Your Man I taught you a technique that will change your life. Did you read it and listen? This book will take it a step further and add desire to your capabilities. You don't need to remember how long to look in someone's direction, how many times to bat your eyelashes, whether you should call him or not, how many dates before having sex….silly dating books written by people who don't know my technique. If you want to change yourself to attract a man...go for it! It you want to have a man (any man) desiring you using one simple technique... then this is the one book you need. One technique to have ANY man panting after YOU!!! It may be a total stranger OR the man who sleeps next to you each night. He will think of you with a burning desire! Lanie Stevens is the author of: Lustful Lanie (Erotic Romance) - Book One Lustful Lanie (Erotic Romance) - Book Two Lustful Lanie (Erotic Romance) - Book Three "Pussy Whip" A Guide To Control Your Man (non-fiction) How To Make Him BURN With Desire…Only for YOU (non-fiction)
Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections
Henry Grayson - 2003
Henry Grayson shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones. Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for more than thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, Grayson creates a whole new framework in which to view intimacy-- one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet. He shows you how to:Break the vicious cycles of interaction that trap you in patterns of resentment and isolationIdentify the six forms of counterfeit "love" and nine barriers to lovePractice ten characteristics of Empowering LoveCreate a spiritual marriage rather than an ego-based oneFilled with techniques, exercises, meditations, and inspiring case studies, here is an indispensable guide to creating healthy and fulfilling relationships that is destined to become a classic in the field.
The Enneagram for Relationships: Transform Your Connections with Friends, Family, Colleagues, and in Love
Ashton Whitmoyer-Ober - 2020
The Enneagram for Relationships takes the straightforward wisdom of the Enneagram and helps you understand it so that you can improve the quality of your human connections.Breaking people down into nine distinct types, the Enneagram is more than a personality test―it is a tool for understanding who you are and, more importantly, why you are who you are. Diving deep into each of the types, this easy-to-understand book provides complete breakdowns of what each one brings to various relationships, how they interact with other people, and what they can do to form healthy and fulfilling partnerships.The Enneagram for Relationships includes:Learn about your type―From the Reformer (Type 1) to the Peacemaker (Type 9), get a detailed explanation of each personality, what they are like, and how they function within relationships.From personal to professional―Go beyond romance as you learn how you can use the Enneagram to improve friendships, familial bonds, and work partnerships.Be your best self―Discover plenty of practical advice for addressing your own faults and foibles and living up to your potential―even as you learn how to navigate the other personality types at home and in the wild.You can get along better with other people―let the Enneagram show you how.
Healing the Shame that Binds You
John Bradshaw - 1988
The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed.” Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures. Key Features This is not just a recovery book. Among other things, it is a classic book on identifying and working through unresolved family issues. Includes affirmations, visualizations, inner voice and feeling exercises. Strong supporting studies make this a popular book with counselors and other professionals. Completely updated and revised
The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection
Robert Karen - 2001
Dr. Karen writes that our capacity to forgive reveals much about our character–including our ability to recognize the humanity in someone who has hurt us and to see our own limitations and complicity in whatever went wrong. He argues that the forgiving spirit not only liberates us from feeling victimized by others but frees us from compulsive self-hatred and regret as well: for forgiving others is nothing but the mirror image of forgiving oneself.Throughout Karen insists that we are not saints, that forgiveness is a struggle for everyone, and that we cannot be truly forgiving if we do not allow ourselves our negative emotions, especially anger. If our harshest feelings are suppressed, we can never move beyond them.Forgiveness sheds light on the envy, narcissism, and paranoia that threaten relationships; the childhood experiences that magnify those qualities; and, finally, the processes of mourning, healthy protest, and what he calls "the redeployment of love" that can help us to let go and move beyond them.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Miguel Ruiz - 1997
Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. The Four Agreements are: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Take Anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Pete Walker - 2013
I also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from Cptsd. I felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on my website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of my work. An often echoed comment sounded like this: At last someone gets it. I can see now that I am not bad, defective or crazy…or alone! The causes of Cptsd range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does. This book also contains an overview of the tasks of recovering and a great many practical tools and techniques for recovering from childhood trauma. It extensively elaborates on all the recovery concepts explained on my website, and many more. However, unlike the articles on my website, it is oriented toward the layperson. As such, much of the psychological jargon and dense concentration of concepts in the website articles has been replaced with expanded and easier to follow explanations. Moreover, many principles that were only sketched out in the articles are explained in much greater detail. A great deal of new material is also explored. Key concepts of the book include managing emotional flashbacks, understanding the four different types of trauma survivors, differentiating the outer critic from the inner critic, healing the abandonment depression that come from emotional abandonment and self-abandonment, self-reparenting and reparenting by committee, and deconstructing the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt. The book also functions as a map to help you understand the somewhat linear progression of recovery, to help you identify what you have already accomplished, and to help you figure out what is best to work on and prioritize now. This in turn also serves to help you identify the signs of your recovery and to develop reasonable expectations about the rate of your recovery. I hope this map will guide you to heal in a way that helps you to become an unflinching source of kindness and self-compassion for yourself, and that out of that journey you will find at least one other human being who will reciprocally love you well enough in that way.
Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy
Aundi Kolber - 2020
If we’re honest, we’ve been overfunctioning for so long, we can’t even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive?It doesn’t have to be this way.Aundi Kolber believes that we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she’ll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the “try softer” life.In Try Softer, you’ll learn how to:
Know and set emotional and relational boundaries
Make sense of the difficult experiences you’ve had
Identify your attachment style—and how that affects your relationships today
Move through emotions rather than get stuck by them
Grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic
Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won’t be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.
Soul Mates: Honouring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship
Thomas Moore - 1994
Moore emphasizes the difficulties that inevitably accompany many relationships and focuses on the need to work through these differences in order to experience the deep reward that comes with intimacy and unconfined love.
Codependency - “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More
Simeon Lindstrom - 2014
>>> 16 additional books included - LIMITED TIME OFFER! <<<
If you’ve had difficulty with starting or maintaining relationships, issues with feeling jealous and possessive or find that your connections with others are more a source of distress than anything else, this book is for you. It may feel sometimes that an intense and serious connection with someone is proof of the depth of the feeling you have for one another. But be careful, obsession and dependency is not the same as love. In the codependent relationship, our affection and attention is coming from a place of fear and need. As a result, the partners never really connect with each other. They do endless, complicated dances around each others problems, but what they never do is make an honest human connection. In codependent relationships, manipulation, guilt and resentment take the place of healthy, balanced affection. Codependent partners are not necessarily together because they want to be, they are because they have to be, because they don’t know how to live otherwise. One partner may bring a history of abuse, a “personality disorder” or mental illness into a relationship; the ways the other partner responds to this may be healthy or not, but if they bring their own issues to the table too, they may find that the bond of their love is more accurately described as a shared and complementary dysfunction. Remember, the relationships we are in can never be better than the relationships we have with ourselves. Two unhappy people together never make a happy couple together. We cannot treat other people in ways we have never taken the time to consider before, and we cannot communicate properly if we are not even sure what it is we need to communicate in the first place. An individual with a mature, well-developed sense of themselves has the most to offer someone else. They have their own lives, their own sense of self-worth, their own strength. And when you remove need, fear, obsession and desperation, you open up the way for love and affection just for its own sake. Love is many things, but it’s cheapened when held hostage by the ego. Connections formed around ego and fear may be strong and lasting, but what keeps them going is mutual need. What could be more romantic than, “I don’t need to be with you. You don’t complete me at all. I am happy and stable and fulfilled without you. But I still want to be with you, because you’re awesome”? It all boils down to this: communication. Whether it’s through words or not, we are constantly communicating, and the accumulation of these little units creates this big thing we call a relationship.
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness
Jon Kabat-Zinn - 1990
(The somewhat confusing title is from a line in Zorba the Greek in which the title character refers to the ups and downs of family life as "the full catastrophe.") But this book is also a terrific introduction for anyone who has considered meditating but was afraid it would be too difficult or would include religious practices they found foreign. Kabat-Zinn focuses on "mindfulness," a concept that involves living in the moment, paying attention, and simply "being" rather than "doing." While you can practice anything "mindfully," from taking a walk to cleaning your house, Kabat-Zinn presents several meditation techniques that focus the attention most clearly, whether it's on a simple phrase, your breathing, or various parts of your body. The book goes into detail about how hospital patients have either improved their health or simply come to feel better despite their illness by using these techniques, but these meditations can help anyone deal with stress and gain a calmer outlook on life. "When we use the word healing to describe the experiences of people in the stress clinic, what we mean above all is that they are undergoing a profound transformation of view," Kabat-Zinn writes. "Out of this shift in perspective comes an ability to act with greater balance and inner security in the world." --Ben Kallenreissue 2005
The Wounded Heart Workbook: A Companion Workbook for Personal or Group Use
Dan B. Allender - 1990
Dan Allender'sbook The WoundedHeart . This workbook continues the processof change as readers work their way step-by-step through thecomplex issues surrounding sexual abuse.Topics include:Facing the truth about past and present experiences andfeelingsUnderstanding fears and goalsWrestling with God, others, and yourselfFor group or individual useAlso available: The Wounded Heart
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Mark Wolynn - 2016
Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.