1,227 QI Facts to Blow Your Socks Off


John Lloyd - 2012
    We also write books and newspaper columns; run a thriving website, a Facebook page, a Twitter feed; and produce an iPhone App and a sister Radio 4 programme. At the core of what we do is the astonishing fact - painstakingly researched and distilled to a brilliant and shocking clarity. In Einstein's words: 'Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.' Did you know that: cows moo in regional accents; the entire internet weighs less than a grain of sand; the dialling code from Britain to Russia is 007; potatoes have more chromosomes than human beings; the London Underground has made more money from its famous map than it has from running trains; Tintin is called Tantan in Japanese because TinTin is pronounced 'Chin chin' and means penis; the water in the mouth of a blue whale weighs more than its body; Scotland has twice as many pandas as Conservative MPs; Saddam's bunker was designed by the grandson of the woman who built Hitler's bunker; Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act of 1981, it is explicitly illegal in Britain to use a machinegun to kill a hedgehog. 1,227 QI Facts To Blow Your Socks Off will make you look at the universe (and your socks) in an alarming new way.

The Daily Struggles of Archie Adams: Aged 2¼


Katie Kirby - 2018
    Life is hard for Archie. It often seems like the world is out to get him. People are always telling him what to do... "Eat your snack, Archie!, "Don't lick the bus stop, Archie," "Stop putting Mommy's phone in the garbage, Archie!"An then one day his heart is shattered when he learns his parents are to replace him with a younger sibling--the utter bastards!The only comforts he finds are in his best friend Amelie, who teaches him all the good swear words, and the sweet relief he gets from sinking his teeth into other people's limbs.From naked protests to dealing with other people looking at YOUR THINGS!, this is a no-holds-barred account of life told through the eyes of Archie--a creatively stifled, modern day toddler.Sunday Times bestseller Hurrah for Gin has delighted fans with its honest, emotional and laugh-out-loud accounts of parenting. Brilliantly illustrated with Katie Kirby's unique stick-figure drawings and told in the same outrageously funny way, The Daily Struggles of Archie Adams, Aged 2 1/4 once again takes on the highs and lows of family life, this time with one opinionated toddler having his say.

From Here To Maternity


Mel Giedroyc - 2004
    A low-ranking TV personality. Rather immature and carefree, my only responsibility to date has been a guinea pig. All that's about to change. I'm pregnant, and now I've become a cheddar cheese junkie, inseparable from my dungarees. Help!' Who can Mel turn to? Pen, her best friend, who is still annoyingly carefree and single, and whose effect on Mel is like an injection of pure caffeine to the system? Jools, the hippy who recommends basil nosegay for labour pains and placenta pate canapes when entertaining? Amanda, the well-heeled, pregnant-friend-from-Hell who, only weeks after her textbook delivery, is planning to have her firstborn taught to ski? Kate, Mel's sister and mother of two, whose offspring are inclined towards dangerous Captain Hook impersonations and sudden mood swings? Mel's mother, who got Mel through babyhood by way of regular coffee mornings and who impresses on her the importance of portable 1950s baby gear that looks about as foldable as a Transit van? Dan, the dad-to-be, who suddenly stops going to the pub to concentrate on Mel's dietary requirements and has adopted the sinister habit of always keeping a tape measure attached to his belt?

Only Fools and Horses


Graham McCann - 2011
    15 years, seven series and more than 60 episodes later, 24.3 million people watched the final installment of Only Fools and Horses—over a third of the British population, and the largest audience for a sitcom ever recorded. On the 30th anniversary of the show, Britain's favorite entertainment writer celebrates Britain's best-loved sitcom.

Container Gardening Season by Season (The Weekend Gardener Series)


Gloria Daniels - 2013
    Whether you are growing plants in hanging baskets, tubs, window boxes or other containers this hobby is immensely gratifying.  If you are new to container gardening and buy your containers pre-planted, you get a sense of instant gratification and fulfillment.  It won't be long however, before you are hit with the gardening virus and you'll find yourself expanding to one more pot and then again, one more container.  Before you know it, the urge to plant and nurture will take over. At this point, you need a garden plan for your container garden. Use this monthly container gardening checklist to keep your containers at peak performance. When do I plant spring bulbs in containers? When do I perk up my annual plantings with some new varieties? What do I do with container plants I want to save over winter? These and many other questions are answered in this container gardening book. At the beginning of the month, check out the tasks and tips on the schedule.  You may find items you never thought of and may also learn techniques used by professional gardeners and landscapers that will make your container gardens the envy of the neighborhood. Scroll up and pick up this book today and give your patio, pool, and porch just the pizzazz it needs to perk up your landscaping plans.

Spike Milligan: Man of Letters


Spike Milligan - 2013
    Unlike his scripts, poetry, fiction or even his unique war memoirs, these letters show Milligan's talent raw and unvarnished - irreverent, often brazen, sometimes cutting, frequently outrageous - a reflection of his complex personality. Spike Milligan: Man of Letters presents a rich selection of the funniest and most revealing of his missives - most of which have never been seen before. It includes correspondence with the most famous politicians, actors, celebrities and rock stars of his day, and takes the reader behind the scenes in his wrangles with producers, publishers, editors and his impervious manager-agent. It also includes letters to a host of unlikely individuals on some surprising subjects: rounded teabags ('what did you do with the corners?'), backless hospital gowns ('beyond my comprehension'), heartfelt apologies ('pardon me for being alive') and the pressing issue of the imbalance of male and female ducks in London's parks. Here, then, is the real Spike: obsessive, rude, generous and relentlessly witty. Spike Milligan (1918-2002) was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Over the course of his astonishing career, he wrote over eighty books of fiction, poetry, plays, cartoons, children's stories and his unique war memoirs. Norma Farnes was Spike Milligan's agent, manager, mother confessor and friend for thirty-six years. Her books include Spike: An Intimate Memoir, Memories of Milligan and Milligan's Meaning of Life. She lives with her partner in London and Yorkshire.

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life


Geoff Tibballs - 2011
    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps


Kelly Williams Brown - 2013
    . . if you wear a business suit to job interviews but pajamas to the grocery store . . . if you have your own apartment but no idea how to cook or clean . . . it's OK. But it doesn't have to be this way.Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all begins with this funny, wise, and useful book. Based on Kelly Williams Brown's popular blog, ADULTING makes the scary, confusing "real world" approachable, manageable-and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay, and along the way you will learn:What to check for when renting a new apartment-Not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things.When a busy person can find time to learn more about the world- It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office -- Imagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps.The secret to finding a mechanic you love-Or, more realistically, one that will not rob you blind.From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.New York Times Bestseller.

Mock the Week: This Year's Book!


Ewan Phillips - 2009
    Packed with enough jokes to fill a whole new series, "Mock the Week: This Year's Book! "is a colourful riot of near-the-knuckle humour; the perfect gift for the show's devoted fans this Christmas. Categories include:UNLIKELY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS: Fart (noun) - expulsion of trapped methane from the anus, possibly the funniest thing ever.UNLIKELY AGONY AUNT LETTERS: Dear Agony Aunt, I keep getting dangerous advice from hugely unqualified people - what do you suggest I do?CARDS YOU NEVER SEE IN A NEWSAGENT'S WINDOW: Child Minder Available - He may be small, but he's rock hard.UNLIKELY OBITUARIES: Died suddenly and peacefully on an electric chair at the New York State Penitentiary.UNNERVING THINGS TO HEAR IN A MEDICAL EXAM: 'So how bad is this premature . . . eeearrgh!'UNSUCCESSFUL JOB APPLICATIONS: You must hire me, before I kill again!

Clients From Hell 2: A collection of anonymously-contributed client horror stories from designers (Clients From Hell: A collection of anonymously-contributed client horror stories from designers)


Bryce Bladon - 2012
    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

I'd Sooner Starve!


Mark Sinclair - 2011
    ever wanted to quit your job...?‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is the amazing true story of one man's quest to escape his monotonous nine-to-five existence and open a charming delicatessen and restaurant in a delightful market town.With honesty, humour and breathtaking naïveté, it records his steep learning curve, radical lifestyle change and the immediate revelation that the customer is not always right!Amidst tales of bulimia, public menstruation, endless abuse and hilarious customer encounters, this eye-opening story unveils what happens after you walk into the boss and say: “I quit!”‘I’d Sooner Starve’ is a shockingly comical tale of culinary highs, customer lows and one woman's unhealthy fixation with thigh-warmed Stilton…‘An absolute hoot!’ ~ Anonymous celebrity chef‘This hits the nail on the head so much I can't believe it! So much so, I can't possibly put my name to it!’~ UK chef‘I am delighted that Mark has written this book. Maybe now people will believe me when I tell them the stories!’ ~ Matt, co-ownerI'd Sooner Starve - the book the celebrity chefs were too afraid to endorse!

Unnovations


Charlie Brooker - 2002
    Modelled on those catalogues that spill unwanted from your weekend newspapers, this is a celebration of triumphantly useless and inappropriate consumer choices. Illustrated throughout in the shape and style of catalogues that offer you the chance to buy machines that stamp your initials onto golf balls or allow you to warm you slippers electronically before putting them on. An array of toys, gadgets, and handy-helps, it's a modern vision of a consumer paradise gone very weird indeed.

Air Mail: Letters From The World's Most Troublesome Passenger


Terry Ravenscroft - 2007
    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies: Featuring Dave Anthony, Lord Carrett, Dean Haglund, Allan Havey, Laura House, Jackie Kashian, Suzy Nakamura, Greg Proops, Mike Schmidt, Neil T. Weakley, and Matt Weinhold


Graham Elwood - 2012
    Is it serious movie discussion? Is it funny? Do the writers know what the hell they are talking about? Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes. OK, that’s too many Yes’s but you get the point.  Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini, both professional filmmakers and comedians, created Comedyfilmnerds.com to mind meld the idea of real movie talk and real funny. And they called in all of their professionally funny and filmy friends to help them. Comedians and writers who have been on everything from the Tonight Show to having their own comedy specials tell you what’s what on their favorite film genres.  While "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is funny and informative, each film genre is given a personal touch. All of the Comedy Film Nerds have a love of film and a personal connection to each genre.  Read about a love of film from an insider’s perspective.  "The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies" is for the movie lover with a good sense of humor.

Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time


Rob Temple - 2013
    Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.