“Preludes” is based in significant part on the experiences of its author, a child sexual abuse survivor. * * * When a nine-year-old boy in a "respectable," middle class family is raped, then repeatedly molested by his father, how does the boy experience the abuse and how does he manage to survive? “Preludes” examines these questions. The boy wakes in the middle of the night to find his father sitting on the edge of his bed, gently shaking him from his sleep. Though confused by his father's unexpected presence, for a few brief moments he suspects nothing unusual. His father then accuses him of having misbehaved without saying how, and tells him he'll have to be punished. The boy initially protests, but then, sensing the futility of resistance, grudgingly prepares himself for what his father tells him will be a spanking, all the while thinking, "Gee, this is ridiculous—I haven't done anything wrong." His father then proceeds to rape him, and, the rape completed, threatens to murder him if he tells anyone, including his mother. Thus begins the boy's struggle for survival in the face of his father's nightly onslaughts—a struggle that stretches the boy's physical, psychological, and emotional resources to their limits and beyond. Adding to his struggle's immensity is the story’s milieu: a "Pleasantville" middle class neighborhood in a mid-sized American city in the early 1960s—an environment that gives no indication, on its surface, that dysfunction of such proportions could occur within its hermetic confines. The boy's family enjoys a high status—the father is a professor at a prestigious university, and the family belongs to a Presbyterian church that counts among its members some of the city's most prominent citizens. It is an environment in which acknowledgement of even the merest possibility of child sexual abuse within a family as respectable as that of the boy's is as taboo as the abuse itself. Sensing these constrictions, the boy feels his isolation in his suffering increase exponentially. The prime importance placed by the community on maintaining a semblance of normalcy, no matter the cost to the truth, extends to the day-to-day life of the boy's home. The family's nightly meals together, at a table set with engraved silverware and an "everyday" china of the most tasteful design, and the "Smile Club" photos the boy's mother hangs in the downstairs hallway—family photos, taken regularly, for which the fundamental requisite is that everyone in them be wearing a pleasant smile—help form the bulwark of the mother's determined effort to put the best possible face on things. To survive, the boy attempts to hide the truth as much as possible, even from himself, with his mind employing, as its chief means to this end, a total forgetting of the abuse when it's not actually happening—a strategy his mind has utilized on previous occasions of his father's abuse. But survival, though laudable, comes at an enormous price—a price exacted, among other ways, in the warped perception the boy forms of what it means to "be a man." A price, the story suggests, the boy will have to pay going forward, into adulthood, until he reaches a point of substantial healing.

    Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do. "We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children."Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University's Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults - a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he'd endured. And that was the beginning of Marc's awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn't alone, he wasn't stuck on a timeline, and he wasn't "wrong" to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that has already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc's development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.This book combines rigor, science, passion and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don't have to be. Marc Brackett's life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how.

    "Now everyone is going to know." "I know," I said. "I’m sorry."Kelly Sundberg’s husband, Caleb, was a funny, warm, supportive man and a wonderful father to their little boy Reed. He was also vengeful and violent. But Sundberg did not know that when she fell in love, and for years told herself he would get better. It took a decade for her to ultimately accept that the partnership she desired could not work with such a broken man. In her remarkable book, she offers an intimate record of the joys and terrors that accompanied her long, difficult awakening, and presents a haunting, heartbreaking glimpse into why women remain too long in dangerous relationships.To understand herself and her violent marriage, Sundberg looks to her childhood in Salmon, a small, isolated mountain community known as the most redneck town in Idaho. Like her marriage, Salmon is a place of deep contradictions, where Mormon ranchers and hippie back-to-landers live side-by-side; a place of magical beauty riven by secret brutality; a place that takes pride in its individualism and rugged self-sufficiency, yet is beholden to church and communal standards at all costs.Mesmerizing and poetic, Goodbye, Sweet Girl is a harrowing, cautionary, and ultimately redemptive tale that brilliantly illuminates one woman’s transformation as she gradually rejects the painful reality of her violent life at the hands of the man who is supposed to cherish her, begins to accept responsibility for herself, and learns to believe that she deserves better.

    A careful line of 36 questions and self-analysis techniques designed to get to the heart of relationship and marriage problems.  This straightforward and practical advice is designed for newer and older relationships, and presents a plethora of information and experience in a clear, concise manner.

    That's where I come in. Written from the rare perspective of one who has struggled with, and eventually overcome, intense jealousy surrounding my partner's past, "Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy" is the only guide you will ever need to letting go of jealous thoughts and anxiety about your partner’s past, overcoming constant unrest and worry, and finding greater peace. You might currently feel hopeless; like retroactive jealousy is something that you’ll just be forced to “live with” until you die. You might even be severely depressed, mired in obsessive jealous thoughts and confusion. I used to feel the same way. I'm here to tell you that you are suffering needlessly. In nineteen chapters, I outline effective strategies, practices, and exercises for confronting, and eventually overcoming, jealousy regarding your partner’s past as painlessly and efficiently as possible. After reading this guidebook you will: - have access to a new multi-step program that will help you to let go of your jealousy and anxiety - begin incorporating coping exercises into your daily routine which will reduce your jealous thoughts as soon as they appear - feel a new sense of optimism and confidence in your ability to grow and overcome retroactive jealousy - understand what your jealousy is really trying to tell you Overcoming retroactive jealousy wasn’t easy, but I am undoubtedly a stronger, more confident, more loving and overall better man for having gone through it. My jealousy turned out to be a blessing in disguise -- seriously. It might not seem like it now, but you too can use jealousy to your advantage. As you progress, you will emerge a stronger, more confident, more attractive, and more loving person and partner — and it’s my pleasure to guide you every step of the way. What my readers are saying: "Thanks for writing such a great book… It’s superb. Your advice has already given me instant help. I see the problem clearly and feel empowered to start the battle." - Ryan, UK "I cannot express to you how grateful I am for your book… The help that your book has given me, and the hope you instilled in me is priceless. It would be an understatement to say I would recommend this book to sufferers of RJ. This should be compulsory reading for all sufferers of jealousy." - Jeremy, USA "Your book was better than professional therapy... I’ve gone from crying and feeling helpless all day, to functioning at about 90%, with reassurance that I WILL get back to 100%. - Nick, USA Visit http://www.retroactivejealousy.com/ov... for more testimonials. You need to know that you can move on from retroactive jealousy, and reassert control over your life. You can get a hold on your brain, and patterns of compulsive questioning and obsessive thoughts. You can be the partner you want to be — you just have to understand where retroactive jealousy comes from, and how to deal with it. So let’s get started!

    With simplicity, warmth, and directness, he explores the four key aspects of love as described in the Buddhist tradition: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and freedom—explaining how to experience them in our day-to-day lives. He also emphasizes that in order to love in a real way, we must first learn how to be fully present in our lives, and he offers simple techniques from the Buddhist tradition that anyone can use to establish the conditions of love. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, is an internationally known author, poet, scholar, and peace activist who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr.

    I knew one called Bernie.He groomed me and led me away from home." It's been all over the news lately. Teenagers running away from home. Groomed and snatched from the nest by predators, before they get chance to spread their wings.Regardless of culture or social class, it's happening everywhere; online, in schools, clubs and societies.It happened to me, Moll.This is my true story, a harrowing account of my stolen youth, and my journey to take it back. A story of the ones who overlooked my situation, and a story dedicated to those who made a difference to my life.I lived in that squalid mobile home for two and a half years with my abuser. I even married him because I felt I had no way out. From the mind games of my father, to the open arms of Bernie, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.I was helpless for a short time, but never hopeless.

    Homesick—why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. “Of all the elements of a happy life,” she thought, “my home is the most important.” In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home.And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already. So, starting in September (the new January), Rubin dedicated a school year—September through May—to making her home a place of greater simplicity, comfort, and love.  In The Happiness Project, she worked out general theories of happiness. Here she goes deeper on factors that matter for home, such as possessions, marriage, time, and parenthood. How can she control the cubicle in her pocket? How might she spotlight her family’s treasured possessions? And it really was time to replace that dud toaster. Each month, Rubin tackles a different theme as she experiments with concrete, manageable resolutions—and this time, she coaxes her family to try some resolutions, as well.  With her signature blend of memoir, science, philosophy, and experimentation, Rubin’s passion for her subject jumps off the page, and reading just a few chapters of this book will inspire readers to find more happiness in their own lives.

    So far, the Dateline series has led to the arrest of 183 men and shown that child predators can be anyone—even those most trusted in the community—including rabbis, doctors, and teachers. In his book To Catch a Predator, Chris Hansen, the creator and on-air correspondent for Dateline’s most successful series, looks deeper into the world of child predators. The book expands beyond the Dateline series to include commentary from psychological and criminal experts about the origins and methods of child predators, and includes substantive advice for both parents and children on how to protect kids on the Internet. Hansen also looks at the current methods for treating child predators and interviews several of the men seen on the Dateline show to follow up on their lives since being arrested. To Catch a Predator presents a strong analysis of what some feel is a child predator epidemic and a startling look at the shortcomings of our systems and society.

    Petty resentments will disappear, compassion will replace attack, the energy of resistance will transform into freedom and you’ll feel more peace and happiness than you’ve ever known. I can testify to these results because I’ve lived them. I’ve never felt more freedom and joy than I have when writing and practicing these steps.My commitment to healing my own relationship to judgment has changed my life in profound ways. My awareness of my judgment has helped me become a more mindful and conscious person. My willingness to heal these perceptions has set me free. I have been able to let go of resentments and jealousies, I can face pain with curiosity and love, and I forgive others and myself much more easily. Best of all, I have a healthy relationship to judgment so that I can witness when it shows up and I can use these steps to quickly return to love.The Judgment Detox is an interactive six-step process that calls on spiritual principles from the text A Course in Miracles, Kundalini yoga, the Emotional Freedom Technique (aka Tapping), meditation, prayer and metaphysical teachings. I’ve demystified these principles to make them easy to commit to and apply in your daily life. Each lesson builds upon the next to support true healing. When you commit to following the process and become willing to let go, judgment, pain and suffering will begin to dissolve.And the miracles will keep coming. Once you begin to feel better you start to release your resistance to love. The more you practice these steps, the more love enters into your consciousness and into your energetic vibration. When you’re in harmony with love, you receive more of what you want. Your energy attracts its likeness. So when you shift your energy from defensive judgment to free-flowing love your life gets awesome. You’ll attract exactly what you need, your relationships will heal, your health will improve and you’ll feel safer and more secure. One loving thought at a time creates a miracle. Follow these steps to clear all blocks, spread more love and live a miraculous life.

    County Sheriff’s detective Danny R. Smith put his life on the line for twenty-one years. His career covered some of L.A.’s darkest hours: a crack cocaine epidemic, unprecedented gang warfare, a spike in homicides that stunned the nation, flames lighting the skies while gunfire rang through the nights during the Rodney King riots. There were deadly encounters: fights, pursuits, shootings, and a beating that left him unconscious. A confrontation with a murderous gangster in a dark alley, where only the miraculous malfunction of a fully automatic weapon saved his life. Hardened by the years spent on the streets and the hundreds of deaths and untold numbers of tragedies he would witness, Smith’s frustrations with a dysfunctional system weighed heavily, and his continued pledge to see justice for the victims came at an astronomical personal cost.In this no-holds-barred memoir, Smith reveals the shocking imagery of fallen colleagues, murdered children, gang warfare, and a Native American who was tortured and burned alive by skinheads. And through his unique insights battling PTSD and being forced to leave the profession he loved, his story will offer new insight into the aftermath of working in law enforcement.Nothing Left to Prove is by turns shocking, terrifying, poignant, and thought-provoking. It’s the very personal story of one man’s career and its effect on his life afterwards, unveiled through Smith’s masterful storytelling. If you think you know cops, if you love compelling true-crime stories, then you’ll love Danny R. Smith’s powerful narrative.

    By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies.You'll learn the five languages of apology:* Expressing regret* Accepting responsibility* Making restitution* Genuinely repenting* Requesting forgiveness

    Abused, exploited, and brainwashed by ‘The Family’, Natacha’s childhood was stolen.Born to French hippy parents attracted to the religious movement by the unusual mix of evangelical Christianity, free love and rejection of the mainstream, from an early age Natacha was brainwashed to believe she had a special destiny – that she was part of an elite children’s army bestowed with superpowers that would one day save the world from the Anti-Christ.Torn away from their parents, Natacha and her siblings were beaten on a daily basis and forced to sing and dance for entertainment in prisons and malls. Natacha never expected to live to adulthood.At the age of 18 Natacha escaped, but quickly found herself hurtling through a world she had no understanding of. Alone, and grappling to come to terms with an unbelievable sense of betrayal, she was stuck in a kind of limbo – confused and unable to feel part of either way of life.Natacha is one of the lucky ones; not all of her family survived the battle to shed the shame and pain of their past. To date over 40 ex-Children of God members of Natacha’s generation have committed suicide.All Natacha ever wanted was to feel normal, but escaping the cult was only the beginning. Shocking, moving, but ultimately inspiring, this is Natacha’s full story; it is both a personal tale of trauma and recovery, and an exposé of the secret world of abuse hidden behind commune walls.

    But instead of being a marriage made in heaven, it was the beginning of a hellish existence of spiralling abuse that ended six years later when she escaped with her two young children. Except it wasn’t the end at all because Dr Wynter remarried – and this woman and her child weren’t able to escape, and Helen wasn’t able to help.In this brave memoir, Helen Cummings relates an idyllic childhood growing up in 1960s Australia and looks back on a marriage that nearly killed her and her children. Nowadays Helen is ‘the mother of a famous daughter and the daughter of a famous mother’, but she also had to come to terms with being the former wife of a murderer, and who was powerless to help his victims.

    Soon afterwards, Niamh’s marriage disintegrated, and she feared she would lose her house. Life as she knew it had ended and the loss she suffered was staggering.A psychologist for many years, Niamh’s job was to guide clients through the worst times in their lives. Drawing on everything she learned, first to survive and then, in time, to begin to thrive, Tell Me the Truth about Loss is a psychologist’s journey through loss, grief and the worst of times, while finding hope along the way.A beautiful book for when life isn’t what you expect it to be.