Idiot Letters


Paul Rosa - 1995
    National television.

Sailors Knots


W.W. Jacobs
    This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.As a reproduction of a historical artifact, this work may contain missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

The Naughty Little Book of Gaelic: All the Scottish Gaelic You Need to Curse, Swear, Drink, Smoke and Fool Around


Michael Newton - 2014
    Standards of morality and social conventions changed dramatically during the 19th century – and most of the people engaged in recording and commenting upon Highland life and tradition were puritanical ministers and priests who left out the racy bits. So, while there are many useful books that provide a wide range of Scottish Gaelic vocabulary to express many aspects of daily life – for the most part, they leave out the naughty bits.

Anonyponymous: The Forgotten People Behind Everyday Words


John Bemelmans Marciano - 2009
    Eponymous, adj. Giving one's name to a person, place, or thing.Anonymous, adj. Anonymous.Anonyponymous, adj. Anonymous and eponymous.The Earl of Sandwich, fond of salted beef and paired slices of toast, found a novel way to eat them all together. Etienne de Silhouette, a former French finance minister, was so notoriously cheap that his name became a byword for chintzy practices—such as substituting a darkened outline for a proper painted portrait. Both bequeathed their names to the language, but neither man is remembered.In this clever and funny book, John Bemelmans Marciano illuminates the lives of these anonyponymous persons. A kind of encyclopedia of linguistic biographies, the book is arranged alphabetically, giving the stories of everyone from Abu "algorithm" Al-Khwarizmi to Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Along with them you'll find the likes of Harry Shrapnel, Joseph-Ignace Guillotine, and many other people whose vernacular legacies have long outlived their memory.Accented by amusing line portraits and short etymological essays on subjects like "superhero eponyms," Anonyponymous is both a compendium of trivia and a window into the fascinating world of etymology. Carefully curated and unfailingly witty, this book is both a fantastic gift for language lovers and a true pleasure to read.

Kiss My Asterisk: A Feisty Guide to Punctuation and Grammar


Jenny Baranick - 2014
    Its lessons, which are 100 percent free of complicated grammar jargon, have been carefully selected to include today’s most common, noticeable errors—the ones that confuse our readers or make them wonder if we are, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader. What is the proper use of an apostrophe? When should an ellipsis be used instead of an em dash? Why do we capitalize President Obama but not “the president”? And why is that question mark placed outside of the end quote?Author Jenny Baranick is an English professor whose students can’t believe she’s actually that into grammar. Upon experiencing the joys of grammar at an early age, raising grammar awareness became Jenny’s raison d’être. By spreading her remarkably user-friendly and hilarious approach to grammar, she hopes everyone will experience the satisfaction of a properly placed comma, a precisely used semicolon, and a correctly deployed en dash.Kiss My Asterisk shows grammar as it’s never been seen before: uncomplicated, laugh-out-loud funny, and, dare we say, a little risqué.

You Kant Make it Up!: Strange Ideas from History's Great Philosophers


Gary Hayden - 2011
    Augustine said that babies deserve to go to hell. Berkeley asserted that matter doesn’t exist. Bentham would have argued that Dan Brown is better than Shakespeare. All these statements stem from philosophy’s greatest minds. What were they thinking? Overflowing with compelling arguments for the downright strange – many of which are hugely influential today – popular philosopher Gary Hayden shows that just because something is odd, doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t argued for it. Spanning ethics, logic, politics, sex and religion, this unconventional introduction to philosophy will challenge your assumptions, expand your horizons, infuriate, entertain and amuse you. Gary Hayden is a journalist and popular philosopher. He has a master’s degree in philosophy and has written for The Times Educational Supplement. He is the author of This Book Does Not Exist: Adventures in the Paradoxical.

Common Errors in English Usage


Paul Brians - 2002
    Mixed-up, mangled expressions; foreign-language faux pas; confused and confusing terms; commonly mispronounced words - they're all explained in this useful guide.

What the F: What Swearing Reveals About Our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves


Benjamin K. Bergen - 2016
    And yet, we sit idly by as words are banned from television and censored in books. We insist that people excise profanity from their vocabularies and we punish children for yelling the very same dirty words that we’ll mutter in relief seconds after they fall asleep. Swearing, it seems, is an intimate part of us that we have decided to selectively deny.That’s a damn shame. Swearing is useful. It can be funny, cathartic, or emotionally arousing. As linguist and cognitive scientist Benjamin K. Bergen shows us, it also opens a new window onto how our brains process language and why languages vary around the world and over time.In this groundbreaking yet ebullient romp through the linguistic muck, Bergen answers intriguing questions: How can patients left otherwise speechless after a stroke still shout Goddamn! when they get upset? When did a cock grow to be more than merely a rooster? Why is crap vulgar when poo is just childish? Do slurs make you treat people differently? Why is the first word that Samoan children say not mommy but eat shit? And why do we extend a middle finger to flip someone the bird?Smart as hell and funny as fuck, What the F is mandatory reading for anyone who wants to know how and why we swear.

Balderdash & Piffle


Alex Games - 2006
    English is now the world's most popular second language, understood by over 700 million people across the globe. Its use is amazingly broad: not only is it the language of Chaucer and Shakespeare, but also of hip-hop, international business and the internet (over 80% of home pages are in English). So where exactly do English words come from? They come from everywhere. English is a vast, rambling conglomeration of words and phrases from a huge variety of times and places, and every word has its own intriguing history. Balderdash & Piffle is a guidebook—an entertaining look at what falls out of the chaotic family tree of English words when you uproot it and give it a damn good shake. Shaking the tree is writer, humourist and word-sleuth Alex Games. If you've ever wondered who first used 'cuppa' in print, what language gave us 'shampoo', when we started saying 'window', where 'minging' comes from, what Shakespeare had to say about 'geeks' and why 'berk' is really, really rude, you'll find it all (and much more) inside. You'll also have the chance to do your own word-sleuthing, through the BBC Wordhunt appeal. Who knows—if you have written evidence of a 'bouncy castle' from before 1986, you could even re-write history.

The Secret Life of Words: How English Became English


Henry Hitchings - 2008
    An average person spends his or her day enveloped in conversations, e-mails, phone calls, text messages, directions, headlines, and more. But how often do we stop to think about the origins of the words we use? Have you ever thought about which words in English have been borrowed from Arabic, Dutch, or Portuguese? Try admiral, landscape, and marmalade, just for starters. The Secret Life of Words is a wide-ranging account not only of the history of English language and vocabulary, but also of how words witness history, reflect social change, and remind us of our past. Henry Hitchings delves into the insatiable, ever-changing English language and reveals how and why it has absorbed words from more than 350 other languages—many originating from the most unlikely of places, such as shampoo from Hindi and kioskfrom Turkish. From the Norman Conquest to the present day, Hitchings narrates the story of English as a living archive of our human experience. He uncovers the secrets behind everyday words and explores the surprising origins of our most commonplace expressions. The Secret Life of Words is a rich, lively celebration of the language and vocabulary that we too often take for granted.

How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read


Pierre Bayard - 2007
    (In fact, he says, in certain situations reading the book is the worst thing you could do). Using examples from such writers as Graham Greene, Oscar Wilde, Montaigne, and Umberto Eco, he describes the varieties of "non-reading"—from books that you've never heard of to books that you've read and forgotten—and offers advice on how to turn a sticky social situation into an occasion for creative brilliance. Practical, funny, and thought-provoking, How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read is in the end a love letter to books, offering a whole new perspective on how we read and absorb them. It's a book for book lovers everywhere to enjoy, ponder, and argue about—and perhaps even read.Pierre Bayard is a professor of French literature at the University of Paris VIII and a psychoanalyst. He is the author of Who Killed Roger Ackroyd? and of many other books. Jeffrey Mehlman is a professor of French at Boston University and the author of a number of books, including Emigré New York. He has translated works by Derrida, Lacan, Blanchot, and other authors.

Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English?


Edwin Newman - 1974
    One man's funny war against loose talk!

The Diary of a Bookseller


Shaun Bythell - 2017
    It contains 100,000 books, spread over a mile of shelving, with twisting corridors and roaring fires, and all set in a beautiful, rural town by the edge of the sea. A book-lover's paradise? Well, almost ... In these wry and hilarious diaries, Shaun provides an inside look at the trials and tribulations of life in the book trade, from struggles with eccentric customers to wrangles with his own staff, who include the ski-suit-wearing, bin-foraging Nicky. He takes us with him on buying trips to old estates and auction houses, recommends books (both lost classics and new discoveries), introduces us to the thrill of the unexpected find, and evokes the rhythms and charms of small-town life, always with a sharp and sympathetic eye.

How to Write Funny: Your Serious, Step-By-Step Blueprint For Creating Incredibly, Irresistibly, Successfully Hilarious Writing


Scott Dikkers - 2014
    You'll learn... • The 3 sure-fire ways to generate material • The 11 different kinds of jokes and how to tell them • The secret to permanently overcoming writer's block • And many more tips, tricks, and techniques Table of Contents 1 Introduction Use the techniques in this book to reliably create top-notch humor writing (page 9) 2 Your Brain’s Comedy Engine Access both hemispheres of your brain to eliminate writer’s block and tap an endless reserve of comedy ideas (page 19) 3 The Humor Writer’s Biggest Problem Overcome this one devastating obstacle to reach the widest possible audience (page 27) 4 How To Get Laughs Understand the different kinds of laughs, and how to generate the best one (page 37) 6 Subtext: The Secret Ingredient Infuse your humor with this vital component to create writing that makes people laugh (page 51) 6 The 11 Funny Filters Create any joke using the 11 fundamental building blocks of humor (page 61) Funny Filter 1: Irony (page 62) Funny Filter 2: Character (page 64) Funny Filter 3: Shock (page 70) Funny Filter 4: Hyperbole (page 74) Funny Filter 5: Wordplay (page 77) Funny Filter 6: Reference (page 81) Funny Filter 7: Madcap (page 85) Funny Filter 8: Parody (page 90) Funny Filter 9: Analogy 9(page 4) Funny Filter 10: Misplaced Focus (page 96) Funny Filter 11: Metahumor (page 99) 7 Using The Funny Filters Layer the building blocks to create increasingly hilarious jokes (page 105) 8 Process Overview Master this simple system to become a prolific humor writer (page 127) Click "Look inside" to see more!

Filthy English: The How, Why, When and What of Everyday Swearing


Peter Silverton - 2009
    This book considers how we have become more openly emotional, yet more wary about insulting others.