A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    If you've ever fantasized about feasting on Frank Sinatra's Barbecued Lamb, lunching on Lucille Ball's "Chinese-y Thing," diving ever-so-neatly into Joan Crawford's Poached Salmon, or wrapping your lips around Rock Hudson's cannoli – and really, who hasn't? – hold on to your oven mitts!     In The Dead Celebrity Cookbook: A Resurrection of Recipes by 150 Stars of Stage and Screen, Frank DeCaro—the flamboyantly funny Sirius XM radio personality best known for his six-and-a-half-year stint as the movie critic on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart—collects hundreds of recipes passed on from legendary stars of stage and screen, proving that before there were celebrity chefs, there were celebrities who fancied themselves chefs.   Their all-but-forgotten recipes—rescued from out-of-print cookbooks, musty biographies, vintage magazines, and dusty pamphlets—suggest a style of home entertaining ripe for reexamination if not revival, while reminding intrepid gourmands that, for better or worse, Hollywood doesn't make celebrities (or cooks) like it used to. Starring Elizabeth Taylor's Chicken with Avocado and MushroomsFarrah Fawcett's Sausage and PeppersLiberace's Sticky Buns Bette Davis's Red Flannel Hash Bea Arthur's Good Morning Mushroom Tomato Toast Dudley Moore's Crème BrûléeGypsy Rose Lee's Portuguese Fish ChowderJohn Ritter's Famous Fudge Andy Warhol's Ghoulish Goulash Vincent Price's Pepper SteakJohnny Cash's Old Iron Pot Family-Style Chili Vivian Vance's Chicken Kiev Sebastian Cabot's Avocado Surprise Lawrence Welk's Vegetable Croquettes Ann Miller's Cheese SouffléJerry Orbach's TrifleTotie Fields's Fruit MellowIrene Ryan's Tipsy Basingstoke Klaus Nomi's Key Lime TartRichard Deacon's Bitter and BoozeSonny Bono's Spaghetti with Fresh Tomato Sauce And many others from breakfast to dessert.

    Illustrating what you should be eating to keep your body in its best-ever shape, 'Clean & Lean Cookbook' takes you through lunch and dinner with ideas for quick, easy meals that won't impact on your waistline.

    More than 90 percent of all Americans are deficient in at least one of these health-promoting vitamins and minerals and don't even know it.According to nutritionists Jayson and Mira Calton, micronutrients--vitamins and minerals essential for optimum health--are being stripped from our diet and depleted by our lifestyle habits. And these deficiencies cause today's most common illnesses. Mira herself developed advanced osteoporosis at the age of 30. But with Jayson's help, she reversed her disease through micronutrient therapy. The Caltons created The Mircronutrient Miracle, an incredible cure-all program, to help you lose weight and prevent and reverse common disorders, including obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.The Micronutrient Miracle explains the truth about what you're really eating and how your habits may be depleting essential micronutrients. It also provides an easy-to-follow 28-day plan to reverse these effects by restoring your depleted micronutrients. And the best part? This book is tailor-made to work with your lifestyle, including gluten-free, low-carb, low-fat, vegan, and Paleo recipes!

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    This guide is written in a friendly tone to welcome and encourage prospective vegetarians and, although not a cookbook, features 50 recipes and two weeks of menus to help beginning vegetarians get started. 30 line drawings.

    Still, this first-hand account does shed much light on what it was really like to come under the charge of many different Indian tribes.Although Brayton’s treatment was not entirely negative or positive, his frank and blunt story does much to dispel the romantic stories that have been perpetuated about young settlers’ children who became Indian chattel. It does much to tell true history and dispel any deliberate or accidental revisions. In many cases the Indians treated Brayton well, but there can be no doubt that they stole from him and his family a life that would end up confused and stuck between two worlds. Although Brayton did finally unite with many of his natural family, he never stopped identifying with Native Americans, and he was forced to leave an Indian wife and child behind. In fact, when the War of Rebellion or Civil War broke out, Brayton enlisted and served in an American Indian brigade. Chet DembeckPublisher of One

    With verve and humor, Trinny and Susannah target several types of women—from the harried housewife to the tomboy—and guide them to the fashion, hair, and makeup styles that suit their particular figures, ages, incomes, and outlooks on life. Featuring real American women, this book gives you the tools to feel confident, attractive and, most of all, proud to be yourself.

    Only a small fraction of those affected have been properly diagnosed, leaving many others to suffer in silence or pursue ill-advised conventional treatment methods that fail to address the cause of this painful condition. Tara Grant, a twenty-year sufferer of HS, has become an underground legend to her Internet community of HS victims by presenting a methodical, self-tested action plan to heal naturally. The centerpiece of her holistic approach rests on the understanding that HS is an autoimmune disorder caused by leaky gut syndrome. With a few simple dietary changes that eliminate certain “trigger” foods, you can heal your gut, restore your skin, reclaim your health, and rid yourself of HS symptoms forever. That’s it—no antibiotics, no experimental surgeries, and no more pain, suffering, or confusion.Q&A with Tara1. What was it about the subject you chose to write about in your book that made you feel so passionate about spreading the word and getting your book published? My motivation for writing this book was the overwhelming response I received from people on the Internet when I originally posted about it in March of 2012. It turns out it’s a pretty common condition, but many people (and doctors) don’t know what it is. It’s pretty standard to visit various doctors, and be told that you have “acne,” or to be subjected to butchering surgeries. There is no treatment for HS, according to the doctors. People with it suffer immensely—in fact, HS is acknowledged to be one of most painful conditions in the world. I’ve even received letters from doctors and nurses who suffer from HS, thanking me for telling them what it is that they have—and for offering them hope. The primary motivating factor for writing this book, however, was an email I received from a 12-year old girl, who said she was going to kill herself because of the pain she was in. I immediately wrote her back, but I never heard back from her. I am desperate to know that she’s okay. I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did as a teenager—I myself thought about suicide on more than one occasion. I’ve had many letters from people who say they want to kill themselves since.2. HS is hard to diagnose, and many doctors aren’t even aware of its existence. How did you get a diagnosis? I’ve had HS since I was thirteen years old, but wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my mid-30s. Up until then, I saw over forty doctors from four different countries - none of whom could tell me what was wrong with me. I eventually found the name “Hidradenitis suppurativa” in a book about PCOS (also known as polycystic ovarian syndrome, which I also had) and could finally put a name to the horrible condition I had suffered from for so long. I took that information to a dermatologist. That’s when I finally got a diagnosis—over twenty years later. At that time, I had already changed to a Primal diet and my HS was drastically better, so I declined the antibiotics and Accutane the doctor prescribed. I also refused to believe what she said: “You have to live with this for the rest of your life.” I knew, as a longtime sufferer of HS, that the doctors I had seen had no clue what they were talking about. My journey was extremely frustrating, and I went through it completely alone. Over the years, I was told I had “adult acne,” and also told that they didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was also told that I was overreacting, not keeping clean enough, and told to lose weight. Not a single doctor showed any compassion, or was willing to look into the matter further. I eventually stopped going to the doctors, and didn’t return until I had already made changes and knew I was on the right track. I knew that if I wanted answers, I had to do the research and experimentation myself. I wasn't interested in how I reacted to different drug, I was interested in healing myself naturally.  I knew that I was on the right track with diet, so I started investigating Robb Wolf’s Autoimmune Paleo Protocol, and made specific tweaks for skin conditions. Results I had seen from others (Dr. Terry Wahls, for example) who had healed themselves from crippling autoimmune conditions were the only motivation I needed. When I started treating HS like an autoimmune condition, it went into remission. There are literally thousands of cases of this happening with different autoimmune conditions all over the world. I was also able to induce flare-ups with specific experimentation. This completely checks with autoimmunity. There isn’t a cure—you will always have the predisposition for autoimmunity—but you CAN go into remission. 3. Do you have any relatives or close friends that became diagnosed after you?  There is no one else in my family with this condition. There is a mistaken belief that HS is hereditary. It is not. However, some families have more than one member affected by it. The reason for this is that HS is autoimmune. In order to get an autoimmune condition, you need to have the gene for autoimmunity. The fact that the autoimmune gene manifests as HS in more than one family member is complete coincidence. If you’re suffering from HS, you more than likely have other autoimmune conditions - and so does your family. Family trees littered with Crohn’s, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, restless legs syndrome, diabetes, Lupus, endometriosis, eczema, psoriasis, HS, and more—all of which are autoimmune—are very common. If you have HS, you have the autoimmune gene, which you did inherit. If your gut becomes leaky, then you will eventually develop an autoimmune condition.4. Do you have advice for anyone seeking medical help for this condition? Read my book first. The Western medical community is still under the mistaken belief that HS is caused by bacteria, hence the prescriptions for antibiotics. They will not be able to help you, and will suggest butchering surgeries and heavy hitting drugs, which often make matters worse. You can’t “cut HS out,” like you do with a cancerous tumor. When you remove an organ or tissue that is being ravaged by an autoimmune response, you open up all your other organs and tissues to attack. That’s why there’s over an 80% chance of reoccurrence of HS after surgery, and people will often start flaring-up in areas that had been clear before. Sometimes, they even develop brand new autoimmune conditions. Luckily, you actually hold the key to healing in your hands. You can heal yourself. If you can avoid infection, then you don’t need doctors—or drugs— to help you go into remission.5. What is the one thing you would stress most to anyone unable to get a copy of your book at this time? Many people with HS are on disability and don’t have a lot of disposable income, or they have been taken advantage of in the past. If this is you, go to your local library and ask them to carry the book. Then, you can borrow it for free. How much does a 1-oz jar of EmuAid cost? Turmeric capsules? Surgery? Doctor visits and prescriptions? We’ve all fallen for so much. I bet if you sat down and tallied up how much you’ve spent on Band-Aids alone for your HS over the years, $26 would be a drop in the bucket. The great thing about this book is that if you are not satisfied, you can request your money back. If you get this 300-page manual and find that there is nothing in it that is of any help, you can ask for a refund from the publisher. Try asking for a refund for EmuAid when it doesn’t work. That being said, I would challenge anyone with HS to read this book and find nothing in it that’s helpful.6. Your book is a very important first step in making the public aware of this illness. Besides the book, how do you plan to raise awareness of HS?My goal is to get on the Dr. Oz show. I figure that will give us the biggest bang for the buck. Many people have HS, but are unaware of what it’s called. They’re too embarrassed to go to the doctor about it. I would encourage all of you to write to the Dr. Oz show and ask them to feature me, and ask your local library to carry the book. The only way we’re going to raise awareness is to GO BIG.

    Travis Stork, co-host of The Doctors, cares about the state of your abdomen. Why? Because when he's not on TV, he works in the E.R. at Vanderbilt Medical Center. And his years of training and experience have told him that the one of the very first vital signs to check—one of the most important determining factors in whether a patient will recover from illness and injury, or face a future of disease, pain, and disability—is how much belly fat they're carrying. In fact, visceral fat—the kind that clings to your waistline and infiltrates your internal organs—is not only unsightly, it also sets you up for a host of health woes, including diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. So fighting belly fat is the same thing as fighting for your life!But now, Dr. Travis, America's top urgent-care doctor, has written the ultimate prescription for curing dangerous belly fat. His revolutionary "Pick 3 to Lean" Plan lets you customize your diet and lifestyle to start melting away belly fat, without giving up your favorite foods, without spending hours in the gym, without really sacrificing anything—except belly fat! If you love snacking, if you love desserts, if you love burgers and steaks, if you love big, hearty breakfasts, there—a plan in here for you. With tiny tweaks to the foods you already love and enjoy, you'll begin to see the pounds disappear in just days!Plus, Dr. Travis explains the magic of N.E.A.T.: non-exercise activity thermogenesis, a fancy way of saying "burn more calories without exercising." You pick the lifestyle you're most comfortable with. You decide which foods you want to eat. You choose what fun activities you want to enjoy. With The Lean Belly Prescription, you will have a plan custom-designed by you—with the help of Dr. Travis—that's scientifically proven to strip away up to 15 pounds in just 4 weeks.With The Lean Belly Prescription, you'll find yourself eating more the foods you love, spending more time doing the things you love, and having more fun with the people you love. Dr. Travis will teach you how to do that because The Lean Belly Prescription is a whole-life plan, taking in variables other diets don't consider, and offering weight-loss opportunities you didn't know you had. The result: a prescription plan you'll love, and stay on for the rest of your life because of how it makes you feel.

    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

    While preparing for my journey on the Appalachian Trail (AT), I often felt lost in a sea of information, usually overturning more questions than answers. The purpose of this guide is to help cut through the confusion, condense the information and present it in a straightforward and simple way. I want to leave you feeling more confident about your upcoming escapade, rather than intimidated by the thought of planning it. My first overnight backpacking trip was thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail, so I hope my perspective can be appreciated by novice and seasoned hikers alike. Some of the topics included in this ebook are: -Physical & Mental Prep -Gear List -Picking a Pack -Backpacking Stoves -Shelter Selection -Hygiene on Trail -Financial Breakdown (of my hike) -Etiquette -Safety & Wildlife -Hiking With a Dog ...and more! Download a free sample!

    Book by Jenkins, Dan

    In this book, you'll learn just about everything you need to know to find the right motorhome at the right price and not get burned in the process.You'll learn about the kinds of motorhomes to look for, where to find the best deals and how to get the best prices, and how to avoid 'deal killers'.You'll find checklists to use when inspecting a motorhome, scripts to use when calling a seller, and tips on how to negotiate with sellers to get the price you want, and how to know when it's best to walk away from a deal.You'll also find recommended best buys in used motorhomes, photos of different motorhome types, and tips that can guide you through a fun and money saving motorhome buying experience.Some of things covered in this informative book include:* Understanding the different motorhome classes* Should you buy new or used?* The importance of getting seat time before you buy* Why finding the perfect seller can save you a lot of money* How to know when you're paying too much* How to effectively search for motorhomes online* How to respond to online motorhome ads* Pre purchase checklists* How to properly road test a motorhome* Friendly negotiating techniques that'll get you the best price* Deal Killers you'll want to avoid* Best Buy in Used Motorhomes* Motorhome fuel mileage – why it matters and how to maximize mpg* After the sale – what to do nextYou'll find all this plus a lot more in 'Buying a Used Motorhome - How to get the most for your money and not get burned'.It's a fun and fast paced read that can save you several thousand dollars on your next motorhome purchase!

    The simplicity of this message has eluded people up to now. In fact, it may seem oversimplified. Because of past frustrations and disappointments, people have come to believe that losing weight is complicated, difficult and expensive. Truth be told, all that is required to reap the myriad benefits of Harvey Diamond's program is to return to the fundamentals of life. The human body is intelligent and capable beyond anyone's comprehension, but in order to unleash this extraordinary intelligence-including that which normalizes body weight-the proper fuel is required. That fuel is living food. But for some inexplicable reason, people have allowed themselves to believe that they can give their bodies the wrong fuel and then have it operate at optimum efficiency. And that is why most people become overweight. This book offers not a diet, but a lifelong way of eating that allows the eating experience to remain a joyous one, rather than a clinical endeavor of measuring portions, counting calories, calculating grams of fat, carbohydrates and protein, or ingesting meal replacements. It teaches readers how to eat any food in the most healthful way so there is no feeling of deprivation. As readers embark on this life-changing journey, they will experience the surge of energy and well-being that only comes as the automatic result of properly fueling their bodies. Providing deliberate, gentle and forgiving guidance every step of the way, this book will become readers' trusted source and companion as they create a new way of eating and living, which will lead to both overweight and poor health becoming conditions of the past.