When a mysterious phantom enters his life, he sets himself on a quest to discover the true meaning of lummoxness, and what he learns along the way is both shocking and hilarious.Written with honesty and selfeffacing wry humor, Lummox is an exceptional story of manhood at a time of its redefinition, a book that will leave you laughing out loud in recognition and cheering for lummoxes everywhere.

    Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.

    Her voice lit up Radio 4's News Quiz, she was brilliant on QI and she tirelessly travelled the UK as one of the most respected and loved comics on the circuit.' STEPHEN FRYStephen Fry spoke for much of middle England when he responded to the news of Linda Smith's tragic death of cancer, aged 48, earlier this year. Linda was the brilliant mainstay of Radio 4's The News Quiz, Just a Minute, and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue for many years. She was just establishing her career on TV through blistering performances on Have I Got News for You, QI and Room 101, when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.Linda was one of the few women to conquer the male dominated world of comedy and she had the wit and the charm to win over millions of male and female fans in equal measure. She had an eye for the absurdities of modern life and loved to prick the egos of the pompous and the vain. She could be savage about the people she despised too. When she spoke of the "dead devil-eyes of Nicky Campbell" she meant it. When she called David Mellor, "the thinking woman's fat ugly bastard", she meant it even more. When she called David Blunkett "Satan's bearded folk singer", it was a simple statement of fact. No wonder then Linda was voted the 'wittiest person alive' by Radio 4 listeners in 2002.In this brilliant anthology, we go right back to the start of Linda's career and re-live her very best material from the picket lines of the Miners' Strike, to the Edinburgh Festival and on to her mainstream success on BBC radio and TV, and as touring comedian loved up and down the country. The Very Best of Linda Smith is being compiled and edited by her partner of twenty-three years, Warren Lakin. The book also carries contributions from her extensive fan club including: Paul Merton, Graham Norton, Clive Anderson, Bill Bailey, Jo Brand, Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Dawn French, Stephen Fry, Tony Hawks, Eddie Izzard, Matt Lucas, Nicholas Parsons and Alexei Sayle amongst others. It will be the must-have gift for comedy fans and Radio 4 listeners this Christmas.

    He just wanted to retire in peace. Change descended when he accidentally shot a Peeping Tom. Though he buried him on his remote Montana property, he couldn't bury the man's curse. Haunted by it, and about to be found out, he sent up a desperate prayer. That night he had a strange dream. Priscilla's interpretation of the dream was to stockpile enough food to look after seventy people for five years because perilous times were surely coming . . .

     They say everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but why are so many of them coming to life? Tempest and Amanda work at the only paranormal detective agency in the book and business is booming. This second box set gives you over 1000 pages of pulse-pounding hilarious paranormal mayhem as they get themselves into yet more hot water solving cases no one else would be dumb enough to take. Dead Pirates of Cawsand – A ghost ship has been spotted off the coast of a quiet Cornish village where gold coins were recently found. Now skeletal pirates are wandering the streets, hiding in the mist to strike fear into the local community because they want their gold back. But they didn’t count on England’s best paranormal P.I. turning up. His well-earned break soon goes sideways as murder, kidnap, and ghost hunters ruin his vacation and threaten more than just his life. In the Doodoo with Voodoo – A client cursed by a voodoo priest is the start of a case that will push Amanda to her very limits. With Tempest away in Cornwall, Amanda has no back up, but she wants to do this for herself even though the priest is a scary character. However, when BFF Patience goes missing, it’s a race against time to solve the case before someone dies and she is about to find out just how badly she underestimated her suspect. The Witches of East Malling – There’s a storm brewing. It’s late Autumn in England, but the wet weather is hiding a dark crime – witches using lighting to kill! Hired to investigate, Tempest soon becomes a target himself when he comes face to face with a witch and she knows who and what he is. Is he closing in on the coven, or are they closing in on him? The deadly conclusion with leave you breathless. Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens – Aliens? Really? There are lights in the sky, crop circles in the fields and the cows are producing glowing milk. It’s Amanda’s case, and seems a simple one until the first body shows up. Suddenly she has a mystery person leaving her clues, an internet star trying to help her investigation and conspiracy nuts raining from the sky. Is this the first wave of an alien invasion, or something far worse? Whispers in the Rigging – His dad reported stories of a ghost in the old Royal Dockyard, but that’s not why Tempest is going undercover. He’s there because his dad was found unconscious in a dumpster when he tried to poke around. Now Tempest must find out what is going on, but all too soon he realises there’s something beneath the dockyard that is much worse than ghosts. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get them killed.

    Seeing an elderly woman crushed to death under a baby grand piano is not the best start to anyone’s day, and Max Dempsey’s is about to get a whole lot worse.When sacked bank manager turned bank robber Max Dempsey (aka Simon Golightly) finds himself deep in debt to dodgy undertaker Danny Bishop, he’s prepared to do almost anything to pay it off and keep all of his fingers.But he’s likely to lose a lot more than his fingers when he agrees to do a “little job” for Danny and unintentionally crosses psychopathic Greek gangster, Nikos Spiropoulos.Meanwhile, Bernard Pemberton and his granddaughter Tess are on a road trip to scatter their beloved Dottie’s ashes on a Scottish hilltop, but is it really her ashes in the cremation urn or something else altogether?Cremains is a crime caper that twists and turns its way towards a conclusion that even Max himself couldn’t have predicted.

    While other books may claim to tell you how to take down the Thought Police, only one book is taking the fight right to the top. Yes, from the mind that brought you the popular blog feature Sad Puppies Review Books comes this definitive takedown of the internet's culture of Social Justice as embodied by the man who controls it all: JOHN SCALZI. Read this book to learn everything you need to know about Social Justice Warriors, their tactics, their treachery, their perfidious entryism. Topics include: * John Scalzi's blog is not that interesting and no one reads it. * John Scalzi does not understand satire as much as I, Theophilus Pratt, understand satire. * John Scalzi did not get me, Theophilus Pratt, kicked out of the SFWA. * John Scalzi's deal with Tor was not a very good deal. And more!

    Sister Marie's latest novitiate is a young woman named Noele whose fiancé, René, fled to Paris only to find it overrun by the Nazis. Now back in sleepy Brassac, both René and Noele realize that decisions of love and liberation can never, truly, be avoided. Sister Marie is not unsympathetic to the emotions with which Noele battles; having gone through a similar struggle when she was young. The offbeat nuns must wrestle with how far to expand the margins of their vows, in hopes of saving their town and themselves. A Habit of Resistance is a humorous, but thought-provoking story of personal denial and redemption.

    Through the stories he tells of everyday concerns, Adrian creates a vivid and unforgettable sense of the presence of God in the midst of the problems of ordinary life.

    Here you'll find unsound advice on everything from engineering a revenge affair to picking the gateway drug that's best for you.Chapters include:- 12 Steps to a Drinking "Problem"- Condoms Are for Suckers- How to Lose Way Too Much Weight in 90 Days - And more!As you travel down the road to self-destruction, let this hedonistic handbook be your guide. It may steer you wrong--in fact, it's sure to do so--but when being wrong is this much fun, who wants to be right?

    These peculiar outlooks bring to life the unique world of Peter Kay like never before. The Book That's More Than Just a Book - Book invites you into a world of suspect characters and awkward situations. Here you will meet Peter's family, their friends, some familiar faces, and some completely unexpected ones. Chock full of brand new material and crammed with photographs and illustrations, creating one of the funniest books you're ever likely to read.

    Young Lily Bright works long hours on a market stall, selling furniture and bric-a-brac in order to make ends meet. When a handsome stranger approaches in search of a bargain, It's love at first sight. Swept off her feet, Lily falls for the debonair Charles Grey - only to discover, too late, that he is not what he seems. Pregnant, Lily turns for comfort to her childhood friend Ben James, but as World War II looms, Lily must find the courage to seize control of her own destiny, confront her past mistakes and win true love...

    The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.

     Hard-hitting newspaper journalist turned stay-at-home mum and part-time failing food columnist, Marnie is wondering when her life went so wrong. While her husband Matt’s career takes off, she’s left with the impossible task of pairing socks and locating Lego. His late nights at the office are turning into late nights who knows where else and they haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks, sex in months, or a full night’s sleep in years. On the brink of losing everything when a fantasy about movie star Maddox Wolfe leads to a missed deadline and a disastrous case of food poisoning, Marnie becomes Mrs Make Believe: anonymous blogger, secret spiller, and voice of imperfect mums everywhere. However, Marnie Martin could never have imagined that her movie star daydream would walk off the screen and into her reality, turning her already muddled world totally on its head. Will Marnie find happiness in the arms of the (literal) man of her dreams? Or will she find that true love is just make believe?