There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop". "Okay, Rebecca replied, "I like poop". Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner...."Why are we here?", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all.The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs.And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after.

    But when the other schools and town facil-ities ask for recycling barrels too, their businesstakes off. They earn much more than pocket change.And the funny thing is, nobody but the janitors knowthe recycling barrels are owned by the two young en-trepreneurs. The money rolls in…but trouble follows.The principal suspects they’re up to something. Theeighth grade bully tries to capitalize on their new-found wealth. And the competition, the town’s largestrecycling contractor—tries to put them out of business.Their real trouble begins though, when the principal,superintendent of schools, and mayor learn the recyclingbarrels are owned by two middle school students. Theythink they’ve been misled; a suspension hearing ensues.Everything Kirk and Tommy have worked so hard for isin jeopardy. They’re on the brink of loosing it all—but ifthey can survive the ordeal, they just might become…Middle School Millionaires.

    Despairing from the relentless teasing Crocky enlists the help of a local witch doctor who has an ingenious plan to deal with the monkey menace.A disgustingly funny story, Snotty Crocky is both hilarious and simple in its execution of a tale about standing up to bullies.A combination of read-along-verse by Papa G (Pedro The Ugliest Dog In The World) and illustrations by Carlos Patino which perfectly capture the humour of the story, Snotty Crocky is an excellent picture book for children to read along with their parents.

    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

    Oliver is an elegant black tomcat, who is full of himself. As a matter of fact he says: “I love myself!” quite often. Naughty, isn’t he? But his best friend Jumpy, a kangaroo lady, is aware that it is only a front! Oliver has a soft heart and will always want to help others. The great thing is Jumpy’s pouch, which Oliver loves to ride in! He calls her his kangaroo taxi! These little bedtime stories with their lovely illustrations are great for small kids. A parent can read the text and tell the child in his own words. These animal stories have sufficient text to keep early readers happy and provide some educational value. Depending on your device, there is pop-up text (at Amazon) or audio available. Several talented illustrators are essential to bring these children's stories to you in quick succession. Love you all! Meow!

    A bonus blank Little Golden Book with the official gold foil spine lets children create their very own Little Golden Book classic!

    Deep in the heart of his homeland swamp, he discovers an enchanted lantern with a mean-spirited shimmer faerie trapped inside.

    How much do you know about farts?Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That female farts smell worse? No? Then you need this book!Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? No? Then you need this book!Do you know the fartiest animal on earth? The fartiest food? Know how many farts you inhale on a cross-country flight? Can farts power astronauts through space? You don’t know? Then you need this book!Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Then you absolutely need this gas-powered encyclopedia of fun and flatulent facts! Makes a perfect gag gift or bathroom read.Crack open a can of beans and become an expert in the windy and wacky science, history, and art of musical gas!

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    And in the Crogan's Adventure, you'll get an epilogue to the story of one of the brothers from Crogan's Loyalty.

    Liberally dabbling in his product, his judgment gets cloudier and he starts snorting heroin and sleeping with his supplier’s girlfriend, a green-eyed beauty named Jane. Jason also meets Melanie, a rebellious one-armed high-school girl who’s youthful abandonment leads her deeper into the nomadic world of the Dead. And as his addiction takes hold, Jason reacquaints himself with an old friend of his late father’s who’s near the end of his days. While he struggles with the ghosts of his own past and his exceedingly tenuous future, Jason has to decide where his heart lies and which road will ultimately take him there.

    Today everyone was rising with the sun, because this was quite a special day. Bees were working hard, flying from flower to flower; the carol of larks echoed far in the forests. ‘Mother- Mother-Mother’s Day’ – sounded the chirping birds. This is a special day, because tomorrow is Mother’s day. The day when you thank your Mother all the good and wonderful things, the love and care she spoiled you with throughout your entire life. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, so today is the best opportunity to prepare presents. Kate, the beautiful, spotted ladybug got up unusually early, exactly at sunrise. She was looking forward to this day for a long time, because her mum is the best mother in the whole world and she wanted to surprise her with something truly special.

    Through a series of spiritual exercises—with themes ranging from energy, health, and physical and emotional healing to protection, wealth, and wisdom—she outlines how to jump-start a personal–spiritual routine to increase spiritual energy, personal awareness, and a connection to God. This highly visual guide also explores the symbolic meaning of color and scent combinations, groupings, and inviting the spirits of loved ones, angels, and spirit guides through the use of candle and prayer.

    However, when he discovers that his archenemy, Squilliam Fancyson, is not only a member of the club but a judge at the contest, Squidward vows to win no matter what it takes -- even if it means tricking SpongeBob into cheating for him!

    A book they'll want to read again and again, and you'll enjoy reading with them! * I loved "Shog's Best Friends" It was great fun to read and the verses were adorable. I highly recommend this book.- children's author, Deanie Humphrys-Dunne* A very well written children's educational adventure story book. It was very easy to read/follow from start/finish, and never a dull moment. There is no doubt in my mind this is a very easy rating of 5 stars. - Tony Parsons (Amazon Reviewer) * We absolutely love rhyming books and can't wait to read more from this author. - Danie Mac (Amazon Reviewer) "Shog's best friends" is a bright, fun way for younger children to learn about finding friendship. Shog desperately wants friends, but he only wants to mix with other dogs. When Shog has an accident, Lilly Frog and Piggle come to his aid and he learns a powerful lesson. A true friend doesn't have to be a dog, just like him! A true friend is someone who is kind and caring, and there when it counts, even if they are "that shade of green!" Combining wonderfully vibrant illustrations with the power of rhythm and rhyme, "Shog's Best Friends"is a perfect bedtime story and a must read for kids starting their reading journey. If you love read along children's picture books this one is a must. RED BEETLE PICTURE BOOKSFollowing in the great tradition of moral tales, Red Beetle Picture Books are designed to teach important life lessons in a fun and entertaining way. Exploring subjects like sharing, kindness, friendship, understanding differences, facing challenges and adapting to change, Red Beetle Books will help your child develop their emotional intelligence, while fostering a life long love of books and reading. This book is for suitable for children from 3-8 years.If you're looking for fun kids picture books with a great message (that your kids will actually want to read)check out the whole series. Look for these other RED BEETLE PICTURE BOOK titles now... "Horses For Courses" - on adapting to change, and developing resilience. "A House For A Mouse"- on kindness, charity and compassion. "The Day I Met The Cribbeldy Crank"(or how to train an angry bug)- on mindfulness and anger management. If you love Hairy Maclary or Room on the Broom, or even if you are just a fan of kids books that rhyme, you will love Red Beetle Picture books. If your kids go mad for Cat in the Hat or just love Dr Seuss, they will love Red Beetle Books. Sharing rhyming books with your children, is one of the most special parts of being a parent. You will love these books!