Easy reading and enjoyable.." - John P Sam's trousers were round his ankles. The microwaved chicken - long past its sell-by date - had made a hasty exit. He was down a ditch in the middle of nowhere, and there weren't any tissues. Suzy had dumped him. Things weren't going well. He was only one wipe away from his life changing forever when he found a blue IKEA bag packed with banknotes. Gary wants to kill him. So does Vlad. Ashton wants to paint him naked and then there's the Contessa. Suzy isn't certain they've broken up. One thing’s for sure: Sam's life has been turned upside down.

    Enjoy these hilarious stories about stupid criminals, their hilarious attempts at crime, and bizarre mistakes they made that prevented them from getting away with their crimes.

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Now twenty-seven, he's released from his latest stretch and returns home vowing to go straight. But things aren't that easy: his girlfriend has ditched him, he has to live on his brother's sofa and he can't get a job to save his life. On top of this, DS Weasel of CID keeps pulling him in for every little thing that happens in town. Now his former criminal mates have a humdinger of a job they want him in on ? a massive out-of-town supermarket. All he has to do is put together a gang of seven or eight lads and he could have the biggest payout of his life. Or the biggest headache. Milo's Marauders is the first in a new series of crime capers from the author of The Burglar Diaries. Set in the same crap town as King's riotous debut and featuring some of the same dodgy characters, Milo's Marauders will have you laughing like a maniac and gagging for more.

    

    Don’t throw up. Don’t…don’t… oh no… god help me! You got yourself into this mess…you can get yourself out. The absolutely crazy thing is… I don’t know if I want to. I can’t remember the last time I have ever felt so alive, inside and out. I am utterly intoxicated by the scent, the touch, the writhing, aching, exhilarating desire I feel when I think about him. My brother’s best friend. Forbidden fruit. Delicious, ripe, oozing with sweet nectar. Yum. Does he feel what I feel? There is something he is keeping from me. He is guarded, keeping something so close to him. Closer than me. His secret life as a bear shifter. A secret passed through generations of his family. And I am keeping something close to me too. My secret. Inside of me. Will this shifter baby bring us closer together or tear us apart?

    The profession requires cops to see people at their worst. They see death, tragedy, crime, and despair on a daily basis. The very nature of the tasks cops perform and the things cops see skews their sense of humor. Sometimes, a sense of humor is the only defense mechanism in a police officer's tool box. Stripped of the ability to laugh, or forced to be politically correct in a politically incorrect work environment can be hazardous to one's health. Coping becomes an essential component of a police officer's arsenal. One of the primary coping mechanisms utilized by cops is humor. A cop can find something funny about almost anything, regardless of how tragic the circumstances. Dark humor involves making light of a serious, disturbing or taboo subject matter. It is sometimes viewed as morbid, cruel, offensive, and graphic in nature and is yet, still found funny. This is the story of the author's twenty-year police career with the New York City Transit Police and NYPD as he worked with some of New York City's darkest knights - those cops who did and said the funniest things under the most difficult circumstances.

    Attack at Wedding Leaves at Least Fourteen Dead, Many More Injured, the headlines proclaimed.The wedding was an outdoor affair, on a beach with the Gulf of Mexico in the background. In all, seventy-two were injured, and the body count rose to seventeen. Local hospitals were filled with bleeding attendees, and, at one point, the bride, her bloodied white wedding dress cut away and spilling onto the emergency room floor, went into cardiac arrest.Her groom died at the scene.In the room next door, an elderly wedding guest also suffered cardiac arrest—not from a bullet wound but from shock, combined with advanced age and a weak heart. Both souls walked out of their respective rooms.One wanted to live.One did not.* * *Philomena Muir became a widow on her wedding day. Three years later, she found herself bumping into the strangest man she'd ever met--except he wasn't a man. More specifically, he wasn't human.That brief meeting became the catalyst for a brewing war, pitting one human witch against the might of a supernatural race.The cards are stacked, and Philomena needs a winning hand...

    A Long Distance Relationship Story in the backdrop of an engineering college.Few Details:1) PROXY: Filled for five friends but forgot one's own2) VIVA: Smoked and drunk but still cracked it3) Group Discussion: Topic- 'Woman on the Top'4) DROPOUT: Still invited as a motivational speaker at his collegePLOT:Neil met Avani-the girl who saved him from committing suicide few years back.Soon they were connected through Facebook.On day one, she revealed her plan to leave India for higher studies.But still their conversation continued.He told her about his college life while she talked about her friends.One day, he surprised her by dropping to her place and professing his love.What will Avani do now?

     Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you.

    Now sprung free these hot as hell shifters are ready to tear it up. Snuggle in and read along for some sexy fun, scorching love and fierce family bonds. Contained in this bundle are: Pierce. The young gun. Kean. The Firebrand. Gavin. The middle child. Kassian. The Protector. Maximus. The Eldest. The Alpha. 5 full novels. Over 300,000 words. NO CLIFFHANGERS.

    Wish You Were Here A routine trip to the vet begins a wild adventure when Suzy Maycomber and her cat, Snowball, take a shortcut through the cemetery and find themselves in the mystical land of Nightshade, where magic exists and cats talk. Only the librarian, Rachel, the most powerful witch in Nightshade, can help Suzy get home. One big problem: Rachel's just been murdered. Desperate to find her way home, Suzy reluctantly agrees to take Rachel’s place as Nightshade’s resident witch, where she’ll have access to the spell books that might hold the answers she needs. But her search for the truth draws Suzy ever deeper into danger. There is someone – or something – in Nightshade that doesn’t want Suzy to get home. Rachel’s murderer is prepared to kill again – and Suzy may be next. If Suzy wants to get home, she’ll have to learn to be a witch first. 2. Witch Spells Trouble Just when Suzy Maycomber is getting settled at the Academy in Hemlock, trouble strikes again. Suzy discovers one of her classmates murdered in the basement of the school, and the only witness is a ghost that speaks in riddles and rhymes. Determined to unmask the killer, Suzy enlists the help of Snowball and Alfie... but something doesn't feel right. The toil and trouble doubles when almost everyone in Hemlock begins acting differently, including Alfie. Can Suzy cast her way out of another case of murder, mystery, and mayhem or will whatever is taking over the town get her too? 3. Stone Cold Witch After a werewolf is found dead in the woods after having been turned to stone, the entire town of Nightshade is on edge. At a werewolf wedding that Suzy and Snowball are invited to, a second werewolf is targeted. However, the second murder is vastly different from the first, leaving local authorities confused about a possible motive. Is the killer targeting werewolves? Or, is there more than one killer? Trouble seems to follow Suzy, but she promises to help solve this new mystery. Along with her friend Red Sumac, they head to the town of Safe Haven – home of the world’s greatest experts on stone - gargoyles. However, while in Safe Haven, Suzy discovers a truth about her past that will change everything. Can Suzy and her friends bring the killer to justice? And, can Suzy do it all while juggling the female vampire in town who has her cold, dead heart, set on winning over Val? 4. Life's A Witch After a spate of gargoyle murders, Suzy Maycomber finds herself running out of time to catch the culprit and save her friend, Red Sumac, who has been framed for the murders. Gargoyles daring to seek better lives for themselves has caused the cult group, the Anti-Masons, to re-emerge and target them. As the granddaughter of one of the world’s most notorious Anti-Masons’, Suzy’s friend, Red Sumac, is automatically under suspicion of murderous activity in Hemlock. Join Suzy and friends as they go deep under cover as Anti-Masons to discover the truth, while endangering their own lives. Will they succeed or will Red Sumac be doomed to spend the rest of her days in a witch’s prison? 5.

     Together they are stronger. But this time their newly found love for each other will be tested to the max. Theo, Abby, and the twins are forced to run from the threats that are getting ever so close. Unfortunately for them, the soldiers tasked with finding them are just too damn good at their jobs and it isn't long before Theo's past catches up with them all. Will Abby regret her decision to leave everything she's ever known behind for a man she hardly knows and all the dangers that comes along with it? As well as picking up the heavy mantle of motherhood in the midst of all the chaos? Can Abby and Theo survive their brutal separation, wrenched apart by the mysterious organization intent on doing harm? Will they come out stronger and better for it in the long run, or will their love fizzle out at the first sign of trouble? Author's note: Contains a HEA and no cliffhanger. This is the concluding story to Part One.

    With the dead pursuing her at every turn, Jess must unravel the mystery behind her hauntings, and uncover a dark family legacy that promises to shape her future—and the future of the spirit world—forever.The World of the Gateway: Books 1-3 (The Gateway Trilogy) includes Spirit Legacy, Spirit Prophecy, and Spirit Ascendancy, the first three books in E.E. Holmes’ captivating paranormal series that obsessed readers have described as “unputdownable” and “spellbinding”. If you love paranormal fiction at its spookiest, with plenty of action and suspense, along with a tough and independent heroine you’ll want to stand up and cheer for, you will fall in love with this best-selling series… but proceed with caution: you’ll be up all night reading! **Save 40%** when you buy the box set!

    But thanks to a show of power he thought would charm her, her ex is stuck in wolf form. And until she turns him back, she’s stuck with him shedding all over her stuff. The local Alpha werewolf, Stephen, will help her turn her ex back into a human—for a price. He needs Lara’s sensitivity to magic to figure out who is killing his people. But with the FBI looking into Phillip’s disappearance, an Alpha trying to make kissy face with her, and a killer who can’t be too happy to have her on his trail, Lara’s problems are just getting started. Witch Sense: Part Three is the third part of the witch sense serial. Please note that parts may contain foul mouthed witches, sexy werewolves, and cliffhangers. All parts will be available through Kindle Unlimited. Happy reading!