He couldn’t help himself; he was going for a ride with aliens from outer space! The aliens wouldn’t tell him where he was going, how long he would be gone, or if he was ever coming back, but a space trip sounded like more fun than beer and burgers at Benny’s Been There and Done That Bar and Grill. He had to go. “A BRILLIANT NOVEL!” says Melanie Tighe, reviewer for The CitySunTimes, Phoenix, Arizona Larry’s ride into deep space wasn’t just a Sunday jaunt. This space-faring species was in danger of being wiped off the galactic map. They offered Larry a ride because his assistance was vital to their survival, but they were xenophobic to the point of barely tolerating Larry in the same room. He was willing to help, but what could he do? Could he live long enough to save himself? What skills did Larry have to save an alien species threatened with annihilation? Every time he asked them for information, they stonewalled him.

    Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

    It takes more than listening to NPR on our daily commutes and reading Jon Stewart's Twitter feed in bed while we sip craft beer from artisanal glassware made by at-risk women on another continent to make us global citizens. That won't stop this affable, endearing couple from trying, though.Based on the successful McSweeney's column, Amongst the Liberal Elite takes readers on a cross-country road trip with Alex and Michael, romantic partners whose voices will resonate with fans of shows such as Portlandia, Parks and Recreation, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, and Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver. The couple decides to use their tax refund to reconnect with their fellow Americans via a cross-country road trip and, more specifically, better understand how in the world Trump won the election. In a quest to visit The World's Largest Frying Pan--of which there are six in the U.S.-Alex and Michael embark on a journey marked with personal and societal realizations. Arguments about topics ranging from mom-shaming to misogyny related to their pet cat, unsuccessful attempts at yoga meditations in small spaces, and anticlimactic touristic attractions that deepen their gloom about the nation, bring Alex and Michael clarity about what it means to resist. Amongst the Liberal Elite is the political satire we've all been waiting for-the one that offers comic relief from ourselves.

     So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.

     “You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

     The names in the updated story have been changed and it has been reedited. A beautiful Memorial Day weekend is shattered by the New Madrid Fault erupting. The massive eruption which exceeded the country's previous record of a 9.0 changed the landscape of the Midwest. The earthquake sent shock waves through the ground, these shock waves set off other faults resulting in the largest disaster to ever strike the country. The New Madrid Fault caused a new grand canyon where the Mississippi River flowed, the quake ruptured other faults which cared a large capital letter "C" from where the Mississippi River was, north to the ruins of Chicago and east to New York City. The West was dealing with their own quakes as the faults along the west coast erupted, the eruptions in America's faults was quickly followed by the "Ring of Fire" that runs from Australia north through SE Asia and across the Pacific to Alaska before moving south along America's West Coast. The newly elected American President died when a giant wave rushed up the Potomac  River, the new VP had been in the UK, he flew home where he decided to focus the rebuilding on the western half of the country, the more progressive side. He decided to leave the SE to die or become so needy they would quickly give up their guns and Bibles for his assistance. He guessed wrong, the SE rose to challenge the West. Earthquake, a story of what could be.

    In the Military, if you screw up, you either get busted or promoted. Sergeant Phelan Oscar Piran, formally of the Galactic Council Marine Corps, discovers that both can happen. If it wasn't difficult enough trouble being the oldest Ensign in the Galactic Council Navy, call sign J-Pop, the Druids have plans for him. He's not a Druid, having failed the Ritual, but his parents are Druids. ‘On Station’ is an adventure encompassing a Galactic Empire, Space Cats, Martial Arts, Marines, Navy Aviators and the unfolding story of the Galactic Council Realm. ‘On Station’ is the 1st book in the series with ‘On Duty’ and ‘On Guard’ continuing the story of Phelan Oscar Piran and the Galactic Council Realm.

    Nations make the extraordinary move from individual rule to corporate outsourcing. The change came quick, and not without controversy. Some complied, some just wanted to be left alone. When noncompliance becomes criminal one man finds himself on the wrong side of the law.John Warren has sacrificed in his life but is now resigned to a quiet existence in a secluded home in Northern Michigan. All of that changes when he is falsely accused, with everything taken from him. Now John Warren will fight to prove his innocence and to save the Country he loves.He can never go home, but he can still ensure his life amounts to something.THE RIVETING STORY OF GUERRILLA WARFARE FROM THE AUTHOR OF DONOVAN'S WAR AND WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT

    www.aabra.us Amazon: www.amazon.com/taliban-escape-woman&#...

    With Amanda's help, he uncovers a rogue CIA plot to detonate a nuclear bomb in Moscow. Meanwhile, the assassins who killed his brother launch an all-out hunt to silence him and anyone else who may thwart their plans.In a frantic sprint across Europe, Kurt and Amanda must stay one step ahead of the killers while racing against the clock to prevent the bomb from incinerating millions of innocent people.Book Two: PressedBruised and battered from a recent mission, ex-CIA analyst Kurt Vetter is pressed into service once again when hackers launch a devastating cyber-attack on the United States Strategic Early Warning System, nearly triggering a nuclear confrontation.When Kurt and his partner Amanda Carter investigate the security lapse, they discover that elements of a Russian sleeper cell have compromised the integrity of the National Military Command Center. To further complicate matters, Kurt and Amanda also learn that a Chechen arms dealer with a stolen nuclear warhead is about to start selling suitcase nukes to the highest bidder.With membership in the nuclear club poised to explode and the United States effectively blinded to the threat, Kurt and Amanda are the last line of defense before the world descends into anarchy.Book Three: Blood in the StreetsA routine trip to China turns disastrous for intelligence agent Kurt Vetter when a deadly series of attacks on civilian targets plunges the country into anarchy. Trapped in a disintegrating nation, Kurt and his team take to the war-torn streets of Beijing to locate a Chinese double agent who may know the truth behind the source of the violence.As the politicians in Washington struggle with how to respond to the imminent collapse of the United States' largest trading partner, the responsibility falls on Kurt to prevent the destruction of the modern global economy.When the conflict begins to spread beyond China's borders, Kurt and his team learn the threat is larger and more insidious than anyone could have imagined. If they don't act fast, the entire region, and perhaps the entire world may be draw into a conflict unlike any seen before.

    Never any good at holding down a steady job, Rick does whatever he can to make a living—searching for stolen cars or missing persons, catching and selling catfish from the bayou, or gambling in pool halls—whatever it takes to one day fulfill his dream: his very own fishing yacht and charter business.Little does Rick know, his latest foray into the bayou with his metal detector will forever change his life. From the bayous of southeast Texas to the seedier neighborhoods of Houston, from the sparkling beaches of the Virgin Islands to the Voodoo drug dens of Haiti, Rick’s quest to find a killer will take all of his wits and skill to stay alive and bring justice to a young woman’s killer. And if he’s lucky, he might find some treasure after all.Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

    What this book lacks in length, it more than makes up for with ersatz knowledgeability and diagrams. Particularly helpful for guys who have just come out of a long term relationship - but also universally applicable.

    A lethal operative for Israeli intelligence.Many wanted her eliminated. Spoofing her own death was the only way to survive, but it didn't work out like she planned.The past doesn't give up its secrets easily.The tranquil island's beauty was shattered in an instant. The attack forced her hand, and now she must make a decision. Will she stay dead, or return to a world that wants to kill her?A gritty, unflinching roller-coaster of high-stakes twists and shocking turns, JET features a new breed of protagonist that breaks the mold.If you're a fan of Bourne, Baldacci, and Brown, you'll delight in Jet's breakneck pace and no-prisoners approach to storytelling.

    54 pages of summaries and analysis on Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    Funny jokes, Knock Knock jokes, Kids Jokes.Jokes for Kids, Best Joke Book for Kids is styled for as kids grow older they find certain jokes less and less funny. This means you have to come up with age appropriate jokes to keep them entertained. Jokes are more than just for laughs. They also stimulate thought and educate. That does not mean you go stiff on the kids, far from it. You want jokes that are funny, corny and have some substance. Usually the really good jokes will give even you the tickles.Kids jokes, with over 200 funny jokes, this will keep the kids, and adult laughing for some time.