Won't You Come Home, Billy Bob Bailey?


Lewis Grizzard - 1980
    The columnist-author sheds light on some of the important matters of life, such as the care of Willie Nelson albums and the problems of finding clean underwear when you live alone

Betty Crocker The 300 Calorie Cookbook: 300 tasty meals for eating healthy every day


Grace Wells - 2009
    The 300 Calorie Cookbook offers slimmed-down versions of your favorite foods, with family-pleasing recipes for burgers, sandwiches, soups and stews, salads, main courses, even casseroles-all just 300 calories or less per serving.Betty Crocker takes all the guesswork and effort out of calorie counting at mealtime by providing clear calorie counts, comparisons for food swaps, full nutrition information for each recipe, and calorie charts for common ingredients.With 300 low-calorie recipes, you'll never run out of tasty, satisfying meals that will still help you stay on trackOffers a simple, fad-free way to control portion size-perfect for anyone looking to lose or maintain their weight with low-cal dishes or for people with diabetes and anyone who has to carefully monitor their calorie intakeForty inspiring full-color photos, proving that healthy cooking can be hearty and deliciousThe 300 Calorie Cookbook offers easy solutions for anyone counting their calories, letting you watch your weight without sacrificing great taste or favorite family dishes.

Diary of Indignities


Patrick Hughes - 2007
    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.

The Great Book of Riddles: 250 Magnificent Riddles, Puzzles and Brain Teasers


Peter Keyne - 2014
    There are classical logic puzzles, lateral thinking puzzles, “who am I?” riddles, mathematical brain teasers, word ladders, ditloids, and a large selection of illustrated pen and paper, coins, cups, and toothpicks puzzles (please view the preview of this book for a full listing). This is the first time a collection of such breadth has been compiled and formatted especially for Kindle devices. The puzzles have been carefully organized into 25 chapters, and each question is hyperlinked to its solution, to provide utmost ease of navigation. Alongside the world’s most famous riddles, are some lesser known gems, and some brand new puzzles, in print here for the first time. Our aim was to create a definitive compendium of riddles and puzzles to bring enjoyment to people of all ages. We hope you will enjoy unraveling them as much as we enjoyed creating and editing them. Here are a handful of sample riddles: Outside the Box Riddles: You need to divide a round birthday cake into eight pieces, so each of your guests will have something to eat. How can you do this by making only three straight cuts with a knife, and without moving any of the pieces? The king’s two bodyguards developed an ingenious method for assuring the king’s safety. With the king standing between them, they would face in opposite directions; one looking to the west and the other to the east, but at the same time, and without the use of any reflective surfaces, they would both be able to observe the king clearly. How was this possible? Pure Logic Riddles: There are two glasses. One contains water, and the other contains an equal quantity of wine. A teaspoon of water is removed and mixed into the glass of wine. A teaspoon of the wine-water mixture is then removed and mixed into the glass of water. Which of the mixtures is now purer? The sorcerer’s tower was enchanted in such a way that it was able to build itself. Bricks, slates, tiles, and panes of glass, all flew to it of their own accord and danced into position. The tower doubled in size every day until after 100 days it reached a height that provided fine views over the entire realm. How many days did the tower take to reach half its full height? Lateral Thinking Puzzles: Five men are going to church. It starts to rain, and four of the men begin to run. When they arrive at the church, the four men who ran are soaking wet, whereas the fifth man, who didn’t run, is completely dry. How is this possible? Think Twice Riddles: If you are running a race, and you overtake the person in second place, what place do you move into? Word Riddles: SOS is read the same forwards, backwards, and even upside-down. What four-letter word also shares these properties? Number Puzzlers: How many letters are there in the answer to this question? You have an opportunity to buy a hen. In fact, you have been offered a choice between two quite remarkable animals. One of the hens produces six dozen dozen eggs per month, and the other produces a half dozen dozen. Admittedly, both seem impressive. Does it matter which hen you choose? Traditional Poetic Riddles: Five creatures cross a field of snow; But leave a single track behind Whose loops and bows are soon, I know, Unravelled by the mind. Coins, Cups, and Toothpicks Illustrated Riddles: A coin is dropped into an empty bottle and a cork is then inserted in the neck of the bottle. How is it possible to remove the coin without taking out the cork, or breaking the bottle?

Bumper to Bumper


Doug DeMuro - 2016
    Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

Sean of the South: Volume 2


Sean Dietrich - 2015
    His humor and short fiction appear in various publications throughout the Southeast.

I Touched a Cat and I Liked it: The Ultimate Book for Cats and Cat Lovers


Anna Blandford - 2018
    Anna Blandford's easy humor points out cat behaviour at its best, and worst, and why humans still find cats irresistible. Because let's be honest, we're obsessed: if a cat lover is presented with a choice of products and one of them has a cat on it, hands down that will be the one selected. And as Anna asks, 'If it doesn't have a cat on it, is it even worth owning?'Cat lovers worldwide will relate to Anna's whimsical drawings and hilarious insights.

But Why? : A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories


Kerry Hamm - 2019
     You'll giggle when an EMT reveals his/her most prized possession, shake your head at some of the RIDICULOUS behavior seen in the emergency room, and you'll relate to the frustrations and joy healthcare workers across the globe express in their submissions. Special sections within this volume include: That Darn Cat, DOGgonit!, As Heard on the Scanner, and many more.

Homeland Insecurity: The Onion Complete News Archives, Volume 17


The Onion - 2006
    Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series.The Onion is the world’s most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.

Walking with Sausage Dogs


Matt Whyman - 2012
    When building a family, they complement the kids. But what happens when things get out of hand? For writer and house husband, Matt Whyman, it's a case of catastrophe management in coping with four children and all the ill-advised animals amassed by his career wife, Emma.

The Little Book of Stress


Rohan Candappa - 1998
    Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:* If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too.* Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.* Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too.* When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.* A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.* Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.* If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before.* Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

More of Dave Barry's Greatest Hits


Dave Barry - 1996
    What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and for getting older in Dave Barry Turns Forty, he does for everything else in America! Tupperware ladies, eighties people and leisure-concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe!

Of Moose and Men: A Skewed Look at Life in Alaska


A.E. Poynor - 1999
    E. Poynor. For less than twenty percent of what you paid for that grande maple-choco-frappa-machacino latte you'll spew out your nose while reading this book, you can learn about an aspect of Alaska most people never think about: everyday life in Alaska. Of Moose and Men: A Skewed Look at Life in Alaska provides a unique insight into the Land of the Midnight Sun, where laughing about the trials unique to the country is better than giving up.

Hot Cripple: An Incurable Smart-ass Takes on the Health Care System and Lives to Tell the Tal e


Hogan Gorman - 2012
    And she got one-coming at her at forty miles per hour. Hit by a car and suffering debilitating injuries, and with no health insurance, the fashionista attempts to bounce back into her (thrift store-purchased) Jimmy Choos even as she deals with short-term memory loss, stalker ambulance drivers, trying to stay vegan on food stamps, crazy judges, hot doctors, and unsympathetic government workers.Inspired by her acclaimed one-woman show, this is a bitingly funny and keenly observed account of the cracks in our medical and social welfare system and how one woman's resilience combined with a generous dollop of humor helped her fight her way to recovery.

I Do. I Did. Now What?!: Life After the Wedding Dress


Jenny Lee - 2002
    My Name is Jenny. And I'm a Wife Her Vera Wang gown still warm, Jenny Lee explores the subject no friend would ever talk about: what happens after the band stops playing and the guests go home. Covering finances, the freakish occurrences of getting beaten at Scrabble, meeting other couples, and establishing principles ("It's not that I can't cook. I don't cook."), it's the hilarious, all-too-true story of what it means to be a wife—with a real-life husband, one television remote, and the sneaking suspicion that he's using your very, very expensive, very, very hard-to-find shampoo.