It plays host to the worst of the worst, the cream of teenage offending – thieves, bullies, arsonists and flashers. The teachers should have their work cut out, but things aren’t quite what they seem at Gafin School. Far from rehabilitating the boys, the teachers seem intent on instructing them in how to get away with things. The pros, the cons and the downfalls are all set out like an algebra equation. Even the school motto is a bit dodgy: Heliarnos Eto Umminass, or Help Yourselves Boys. With careful tutoring, Wayne Banstead and his classmates are about to take a step up into the big leagues. But in the big leagues, the big boys play for keeps. With scores of dead arms, a playground's worth of 'F' words and a slam-bam robbery at its heart, this tale is definitely not for kids.

    From kidnapping to bank robbing, pursuing rainbow trout to unspeakable monsters, from the deserts of Texas to the desolate forests of Oregon, Our Love Will Go the Way of the Salmon is about the extreme measures people take to recapture the ones that got away.

    Sniffing out bed bugs? Easy as pie. Well, easier, actually, as getting pie can be a problem for a dog. Doodle finds best part of the new job is Molly, the boss’s ten-year old daughter, who slips Doodle extra treats when she’s not snapping photos with the camera she carries everywhere. But Molly has secrets of her own. And when she enlists Doodle’s help to solve a crime, his nose and her camera lead them straight into danger.Readers have called the Doodlebugged mysteries perfect of fans of Spencer Quinn’s popular Chet & Bernie mysteries, and best-selling author Virginia Smith called Bed-Bugged, "a first-rate mystery" and a "triumphant beginning to a series."

    You pick your way carefully along the overgrown trail until you come to the clearing. There, above you, rest the ruins of a Mayan pyramid. Is that a stone whistle at your feet? An idol of a bat- god? Riches surround you and Kirby Galaway will be more than happy to smuggle your finds up to the United States in a bale of marijuana. Aren't you glad you met Kirby?.....Now it is your turn to meet Kirby Galaway and begin the most hilarious adventure of your life.

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

    Sometimes they don’t get it right.Ugly Stepsister Anna has wrongly been accused of being mean and evil. Now it is time she got the opportunity to tell her side of the story.With Cinderella so perfect and wonderful, it is no wonder Anna feels ugly in comparison. Dealing with bullies, a grumpy mother and the death of her step-father, Anna is at her wits end.When the Prince’s ball approaches, Anna is told she must find a husband to save the family fortune. Attending with her sisters, the sulky Prince Charming only has eyes for Cinderella.With the burden of being the only one to unite her step-sister with the Prince, will Anna act as cupid? Or will she protect Cinderella from the arrogant Charming?A charming twist to the story of Cinderella, told completely from the point of view of the Ugly Step-Sister.

    The Lutheran Ladies are sassy, have strong-spined opinions, and have stepped out of your office, your kid’s soccer club, or your church to live on these pages. They deal with change—sometimes poorly—but with humor and heartache, they’re on the journey home.In Book One: Plucking One String, Vera Henley has pulled the strings of the Lutheran Ladies Circle for years; now everything has unraveled. A new, young pastor is altering traditions, and the independent Circle women are cheering the changes—all except for Vera. When her high-maintenance, crazy aunt introduces even more rebellion and chaos, Vera must choose which thread of change to pluck—and which to let go.

    When mystery shopper Shannon Jacoby meets billionaire Declan McCormick with her hand down a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores, it's love at first flush in this hilarious new romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Julia Kent.

    In the spirit of two-ness, Tales Designed to Thrizzle Book Two features two of Kupperman's recurring duos: America's favorite mustachioed physicist/writer double team of Twain and Einstein (solving new crimes and barreling through exciting new adventures), and the crime-fighting team of Snake and Bacon ("Sssssssssssss!") who make a special return just to star in Reservoir Dogs 2. Elsewhere in this volume the crusty Quincy, M.E. makes his comic book debut, struggling through the fantastic landscapes of his own dreams in "Quinception" (in which St. Peter also gets his own comic book). Also: The Jungle Princess battles rhino traders... A story of Broadway theatrics in "All About Drainage"... Slightly cursed merchandise... Cockney grave robbers... Cowboy Oscar Wilde... McArf the Crime Dog takes a bite out of scum... The origin of The Hamanimal... Plus a photocomic starring comedian Julie Klausner: "Voyage To Narnia."

    He’s got all the confidence in the world where it comes to applied physics, but he’s never been the guy who gets the girl. Cheerleader Amelia Camden has sworn off boyfriends, focusing instead on her budding acting career. But when her nerdy, next door neighbor passes up his high school reunion, party enthusiast Amelia is determined to change his mind. Wanting his former classmates to appreciate Morgan the way she does, as a brilliant, compassionate, engaging man, she goads him into a haircut, a great suit and a pair of contact lenses. Morgan plays along with the sexy Amelia. Who wouldn’t? But when her flattery turns to flirtation, he knows it’s all part of the act.

    Because if you do, you may find out what happens when a former cop with a gun and nothing to lose decides to push back

    This is our protestation against Toxic Hellworld Culture™, including but not limited to: nihilism, people who don't know what to do with debt/money, BPA incl. touching receipts and plastic water bottles, new music genres, cybernetic private-part-augmentation, women who *actually* deserve ~it~ (you know what I mean), and Bad Sex Play™.It's everything you know and love about MDE, and more, in traditional 2D format, so you can print it out and have something to look @ after the inevitable "Russian" EMP attack. Cheers gents.744 Extremely Funny Pages. You will laugh out loud more than once--we guarantee it. This is the product of four years hard labor: raw primo content that is too unchained and unshackled for sketches or video format. It's our magnum opus and best work and we are damn proud. Fourteen dollars is a high price especially since you have less than a thousand dollars in your checking account and you eat noodles and McDonald's every night, but you will be provided with HOURS of CLEAN laughs and smiles. Not to mention you will be really and truly supporting the hell out of independent comedy.I think that's enough text but this thing is so fowcking good I just have to write another paragraph. Every time I touch it is like my first kiss. Charls had tears in his eyes flipping through it last night. We hope you like it man--we hope you find something in here to believe in, to bite into, to use against your enemies, to uplift all Mankind (the wrestler).

    It currently appears in the Konrath story collection 65 PROOF. Because THE AGREEMENT ties into the Jack Daniels thriller LAST CALL, Konrath has made it available on its own. Also included is a chapter from LAST CALL. Warning: Though this only takes a few minutes to read, the images will stick with your for life. This is a wickedly mean story. So let the reader beware... If you are a more sensitive (or adventurous) reader, this handy scale rates specific categories from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) to give you some idea if this is your kind of book. THE AGREEMENT by JA Konrath Bad Language - 2 Scary - 6 Violent - 9 Funny - 3 Sexy - 0

    She knows the cold and puritanical man who claims to be her husband is not the man she'd married. But she suspects the warm and tender man she does love is buried somewhere deep inside. And she's determined to find him...

    Included here is Crown-Fire, Country Full of Swedes, The Windfall, Horse Thief, Yellow Girl and Kneel to the Rising Sun.