Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson boarded the plane in secrecy, with few in the world aware that President Kennedy was dead, and then after taking the presidential oath, Johnson had 132 minutes to assemble his thoughts and a government before landing at Andrews Air Force Base and presenting himself to the cameras as the new leader of the free world.While there are many individual recollections of the flight, there exist few comprehensive reconstructions of all that unfolded on the plane. Graff's account of the flight—based on dozens of accounts of those on board plus more than 500 pages of archive documents as well as a recently discovered two-hour-and-22-minute audio recording of Air Force One’s radio traffic with Andrews on the day of the assassination—reveals that even amid one of the most dramatic presidential transitions in history there arose very human moments of envy, anger, bewilderment, and courage, as those aboard endured what would be for all of them the most difficult hours of their lives.

    Uncover their mesmerizing, realistic stories of combat, courage, and distress in readable and balanced stories told from the front lines.Witness the creation of new technologies of destruction: tanks, planes, and submarines; machine guns and field artillery; poison gas and chemical warfare. It introduced U-boat packs and strategic bombing, unrestricted war on civilians and mistreatment of prisoners.World War I reduced Europe’s mightiest empires to rubble, killed twenty million people, and cracked the foundations of our modern world. In its wake, empires toppled, monarchies fell, and whole populations lost their national identities.If you like gripping, authentic accounts of life and combat during WWI, then you won't want to miss WWI: Tales from the Trenches.

    

    Tens of thousands of British fans followed him there to watch these monumental bouts, and to soak up the unique atmosphere in Sin City.In Ricky's Hatton's Vegas Tales, he recalls the most memorable moments: from fight negotiations, through trash-talking transatlantic promotional tours, gruelling training camps, bizarre encounters with opponents, fans, A-list celebrities and boxing legends; all the way to fight-week mayhem and the epic post-fight benders that followed.With contributions from family, friends and the journalists who know him best, tributes from Mexican boxing legends Oscar De La Hoya and Marco Antonio Barrera, plus the hilarious recollections of rock 'n' roll superstar Noel Gallagher, this is an anecdote-driven romp through all the highs and lows of Ricky's Vegas fights, and the madness that preceded and followed each bout.What goes down in Vegas, stays in Vegas... until now!

     ‘I want to be’ I said. ‘But who am I?’ Have you ever noticed that what you think about who you are, how you should be, how well you are doing changes? This is because our idea of who we are is created in thought and it is the nature of thought to change. Looking at this more clearly takes us on a breath-taking exploration into what is real about us. We discover what is permanent, unchanging. And it is never what we think. The first part of REAL looks at everything that cannot be true about who we are. It looks at what is transient, momentary and ever-changing such as our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, insecurities, habits, stress. These are all the things we can stop paying attention to because the only thing we know for sure about them is that they will change. And this leaves us with one important question: who are we? The second part of REAL explores what remains when our thought-created idea of self dissolves. It explores what is constant, what is always there regardless of transient thought and belief. By looking for the constant we get closer to the truth of us. When we live from this understanding, we have more freedom, integrity and wholeness than we had ever thought possible.

    This book is a laugh-out-loud way to educate yourself, your children, and your friends about how money really works...and a way to smile while you're straightening out that mess you call your financial life.

    We conservatives have truth and rationality and logic on our side. We just need to remind ourselves why we are right, and we need that reminder delivered in a way that’s not a lecture, not a history lesson, and not a complicated political diatribe.” If you think all conservatives are old white dudes, think again. Meet the Chicks on the Right (if you haven’t already). Everyone loves to tell them they’re wrong. Everyone. Liberals say they’re wrong because, well, they’re conservative. Conservatives tell them they’re wrong because they are not conservative enough. Or because they’re too conservative. Or because they’re the wrong kind of conservative. With all the blame flying around, it’s easy to lose sight of one important thing: They think like you. And they are right. It’s right to revere the Constitution. It’s right to value personal responsibility, economic liberty, and free enterprise. It’s right to think that political correctness is crap, and it’s right to call out the mainstream media for bias. And it’s right to laugh at the so-called War on Women and to stand up for the unborn. As they do every day on their blog and radio show, Miriam Weaver and Amy Jo Clark offer a definitive response to critics on the right and the left, and a cheerfully snarky pep talk for likeminded conservatives. On the one hand, they are tired of the media’s portrayal of conservatives as repressed sticks-in-the-mud; on the other hand, they are sick of GOP leaders who play right into that stereotype. With humor and insight, Mock and Daisy, as the Chicks are known on their blog, explain why:Capitalism is a good thing—success and the money that comes with it are nothing to be ashamed of! First Amendment protections extend to all Americans, not just those with whom we agree. Americans have a constitutional right to things that go pew-pew-pew. Skin color is irrelevant. It makes sense to be pro-life and pro-Plan B. The Chicks offer suggestions for a conservative makeover that will realign the GOP with the regular folks who are frustrated with uptight and clueless politicians. But they also show why conservatism makes sense for everyone, especially those who love their country, their families, God, rock and roll, and a well-made cocktail (not necessarily in that order).

    As a student, she excelled; as a lawyer, she rose through the ranks; as a mother, she inspired and nurtured two girls; and as the First Lady of the United States, she used her platform to disseminate her strongly-held beliefs. Intelligence, generosity, strength, bravery, confidence, and hard work are all key attributes associated with Michelle Obama, and this book serves to cement her place as one of the strongest voices on the global stage today."When you are struggling and you start thinking about giving up, I want you to remember something ... and that is the power of hope. The belief that something better is always possible if you're willing to work for it and fight for it."Final speech as First Lady of the United States, January 2017.

    They wanted to know why McCain appealed so much to so many Americans, and particularly why he appealed to the "Young Voters" of America who generally show nothing but apathy. The "Director's Cut" (three times longer than the RS article) is an incisive, funny, thoughtful piece about life on "Bullshit One" -- the nickname for the press bus that followed McCain's Straight Talk Express. This piece becomes ever more relevant, as we discuss what we know, don't know, and don't want to know about the way our political campaigns work.

    Got a 35-foot sailboat? No problem. Is the wind blowing 20 knots? No problem. Are you racing offshore overnight? Even better. Singlehander Andrew Evans learned the hard way how to sail and race alone--with lots of mishaps, including broaches and a near tumbling over a waterfall--and in Singlehanded Sailing he shares the techniques, tips, and tactics he has developed to make his solo sailing adventures safe and enriching. Learn everything you need to know to meet any solo challenge, including: Managing the power consumption aboard a boat to feed the electric autopilot Setting and gybing a spinnaker Finding time to sleep Dealing with heavy weather

    But the culture, the work, the bureaucracy, and the stress wore him out.He walked a thin line between inspiration and despair. Each new school year, he’d give his relationship with academia another try, rolling the dice and praying to avoid a breakup.Things improved when he started coping with his struggles by engaging with them through comedy, joining the Teachers Only Comedy Tour. He went from performing on local stages in Houston in front of a few dozen people to telling jokes in major arenas and theaters across the country.From Charlotte to New York City, Dallas to Biloxi, Baton Rouge to Seattle, Montgomery to Denver, and countless other cities across America, tens of thousands of supportive fans have welcomed him with open arms, loud cheers, and contagious laughter.Join the author as he shares the struggles of what it means to be a teacher and celebrates the significance of mentoring, educating, and encouraging students.

    It enables you to have complete control over style, design, and color of your garments. And once you learn the basic practice, you can knit almost anything you can think of. What stands in most people’s way is getting started. How do you learn to knit socks? Where do you find knitting patterns? This book answers all of those questions and more. What will this book teach you? • Getting started knitting socks • How to find the right knitting tools and correct needles for knitting your socks • How to pick the best knitting yarn • 10 Most popular sock knitting patterns • How to size your socks • How to knit socks from the Top-down • How to knit sock from the Toe-up • Sock Cast-on techniques, such as, Long Tail cast on, Eastern/ Turkish cast on • The Double Point and Circular Needle methods • Tips on how to knit long lasting, beautiful socks • And so much more!.. Even if you have never picked up a pair of knitting needles before, you can easily start knitting your way towards a pair of perfect socks with this book. It even includes a Glossary of Knitting Terms as an added BONUS, so as you expand your projects to other designs and find other patterns, you will never be in the dark. This book also includes 1 basic top-down sock pattern and 7 additional popular sock patterns for you to work on. While this book is intended to get you started in the world of knitting, it can easily serve as a refresher for even the most experienced knitter! Whether you want to get started or want to get back to basics and hone your skills, "Knitting Socks for Beginners" is the book for you. From Tube socks to Fair Isle socks, you have all the information and knitting patterns you need. Socks are not necessarily the easiest thing to knit, but the techniques used to make a pair of socks introduces you to everything else you need to know about knitting. This book will guide you through every stage of the knitting process and help you create a pair of perfectly knitted socks, in just three days! There is no better book for learning the basics of knitting. This acts as the perfect springboard for more complex knitting projects, with all of the techniques, tips, and terms spelled out to keep you on the right track. If you are looking for a great book about sock knitting, look no further. Get your copy of "Knitting Socks for Beginners" today! Check Out What Others Are Saying... "This is a brilliant book for beginners. I've never tried knitting before but now can't wait to get started. The author goes through every step of the knitting process in fine detail. The book is very well written and has excellent photographs and diagrams. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to try sock knitting for the first time." - Lesley H "I've been thinking of knitting for quite a awhile now. I'm glad I stumbled on this book. I'm a total newbie so this book is perfect for me. "Knitting socks for beginners" gives step by step instructions to get started at knitting socks. Has tons of info- tools, needle size,yarn types. Great help for the beginner.