Understanding the Borderline Mother


Christine Ann Lawson - 2000
    Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore. Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother. Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim. A Jason Aronson Book

Fundamentals of Clinical Supervision


Janine M. Bernard - 1992
    Due to the overlap of the mental health disciplines and of supervision modalities, the authors have integrated psychology, counseling, marriage and family therapy, and social work contributions into the central themes that dominate the study and practice of clinical supervision. The authors offer a comprehensive look at the supervision relationship that must develop if supervision is to be successful. In doing so, the book serves as a valuable resource for the practitioner as well as the scholar. The authors also address the professional issues of ethical and legal concerns, evaluation, and establishing a productive context for supervision; the practice issues of supervisor training and development; and the research issues affecting both the study and practice of supervision. Appendices offer additional resources. These include materials to assist the readers in training supervisors. They also include selected instruments that might be used by supervision researchers and practitioners. Clinical supervisors.

Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts


Harriet Lerner - 2017
    Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself


Nedra Glover Tawwab - 2021
    We all know we should have them--in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do healthy boundaries really mean--and how can we successfully express our needs, say no, and be assertive without offending others?Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world. In a relatable and inclusive tone, Set Boundaries, Find Peace presents simple-yet-powerful ways to establish healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. Rooted in the latest research and best practices used in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques help us identify and express our needs clearly and without apology--and unravel a root problem behind codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, burnout, and more.

The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves


Stephen Grosz - 2012
    These beautifully rendered tales illuminate the fundamental pathways of life from birth to death.A woman finds herself daydreaming as she returns home from a business trip; a young man loses his wallet. We learn, too, from more extreme examples: the patient who points an unloaded gun at a police officer, the compulsive liar who convinces his wife he's dying of cancer. The stories invite compassionate understanding, suggesting answers to the questions that compel and disturb us most about love and loss, parents and children, work and change. The resulting journey will spark new ideas about who we are and why we do what we do.

Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy


Pat Ogden - 2006
    They track the clients' associations, fantasies, and signs of psychic conflict, distress, and defenses. Yet while the majority of therapists are trained to notice the appearance and even the movements of the client's body, thoughtful engagement with the client's embodied experience has remained peripheral to traditional therapeutic interventions. Trauma and the Body is a detailed review of research in neuroscience, trauma, dissociation, and attachment theory that points to the need for an integrative mind-body approach to trauma. The premise of this book is that, by adding body-oriented interventions to their repertoire, traditionally trained therapists can increase the depth and efficacy of their clinical work. Sensorimotor psychotherapy is an approach that builds on traditional psychotherapeutic understanding but includes the body as central in the therapeutic field of awareness, using observational skills, theories, and interventions not usually practiced in psychodynamic psychotherapy. By synthesizing bottom-up and top down interventions, the authors combine the best of both worlds to help chronically traumatized clients find resolution and meaning in their lives and develop a new, somatically integrated sense of self.Topics addressed include: Cognitive, emotional, and sensorimotor dimensions of information processing • modulating arousal • dyadic regulation and the body • the orienting response • defensive subsystems • adaptation and action systems • treatment principles • skills for working with the body in present time • developing somatic resources for stabilization • processing

Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children


Daniel A. Hughes - 2006
    This work is a composite case study of the developmental course of one child following years of abuse and neglect. Building the Bonds of Attachment focuses on both the specialized psychotherapy and parenting that is often necessary in facilitating a child's psychological development and attachment security. It develops a model for intervention by blending attachment theory and research, trauma theory, and the general principles of parenting, and child and family therapy. This book is a practical guide for the adult--whether professional or parent--who endeavors to help such children. The second edition of this widely popular book will present the many changes in the intervention model over the past 8 years. These include many changes in both the psychotherapist's and parent's interventions. The attachment history of the adults is made more relevant. There is greater congruence between attachment theory and research and the interventions being demonstrated as well as greater reference to this theory and research.

Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional


J. William Worden - 2001
    has again provided mental health professionals with a superb guide describing specific principles and procedures that may be helpful in working with bereaved clients undergoing normal or abnormal grief reactions .... an extremely practical book and an invaluable resource.--Contemporary Psychology This book is the 'Bible' for those involved in the field of bereavement work...It is a straightforward, tightly focused, practical, soundly reasoned, compact working text. --William M. Lamers, Jr., MD., The Lamers Medical GroupIf you had one book dealing with grief counseling available to you, this is the one you should select. --Caregiver QuarterlyWorden has brought a critical and discerning mind to bear. ... His delineation of 'the tasks of mourning' is a masterly and original summation, and the ways by which we can help others to grow through grieving are clearly described. --From the Foreword by Colin Murray Parkes, UK edition In this updated and revised third edition of his classic text, Dr. Worden presents his most recent thinking on bereavement drawn from extensive research, clinical work, and the best of the new literature. Readers will find new information on special types of losses--including children's violent deaths, grief and the elderly, and anticipatory grief--as well as refinements to his basic model for mourning. It now not only includes the four tasks of mourning but also seven mediators of mourning. In addition, a series of vignettes, the best of the first and second editions, plus several new to this edition, bring bereavement issues to life.

The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs


Stephen S. Ilardi - 2009
    Alongside this lifestyle, depression rates have skyrocketed: approximately 1 in 4 Americans will suffer from major depression at some point in their lives. Where have we gone wrong? Dr. Stephen Ilardi sheds light on our current predicament and reminds us: our bodies were never designed for the sleep-deprived, poorly nourished, frenzied pace of twenty-first century life. In fact, our genes have changed very little since the days of our hunter-gatherer ancestors and are still building, in effect, Stone Age bodies. Herein lies the key to breaking the cycle of depression.Inspired by the extraordinary resilience of aboriginal groups like the Kaluli of Papua New Guinea (who rarely suffer from depression), Dr. Ilardi prescribes an easy-to-follow, clinically proven program that harks back to what our bodies were originally made for-and need. Here you can find the road back to lasting health by integrating the following 6 elements into your life: an omega-3 rich diet; exercise; plenty of natural sunlight; ample sleep; social connections; and participation in meaningful tasks that leave little time for negative thoughts-all things that our ancestors had in abundance.Already, The Depression Cure program has delivered dramatic results, helping even those who have failed to respond to traditional medications. Interweaving the stories of many who have fought-and won-the battle against this debilitating illness, this groundbreaking book can illuminate the path to lifting the fog once and for all for you or a loved one.

The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy


John M. Gottman - 1999
    In addition, there are dozens of questionnaires and interview protocols to be used in both assessment and intervention.In prospective, long-term research with over 700 couples, Gottman has discovered certain factors that distinguish happy, stable couples from both unstable, ultimately divorcing couples and stable but unhappy couples. These findings, which are explained here in understandable, nontechnical language, form the basis of his Sound Marital House theory of marriage, which guides the new therapy. This therapy has two goals: changing the marital friendship and teaching couples to regulate conflict.Despite the high aims of much marital therapy, Gottman found that most marital conflicts involve fundamentally unresolvable relationship issues called "perpetual problems." He shows how therapists can help spouses move from gridlock to dialogue on these issues. Solvable problems can be resolved more easily when the couple has a strong marital friendship. He gives therapists the tools to teach spouses five fundamental skills to develop and strengthen their friendship: softened start-up, accepting influence, repair and de-escalation, compromise, and physiological soothing.Gottman compares his clinic to a restaurant, where clients are offered a menu of treatment formats, from psychoeducation for specific issues to extended therapy to repair a badly damaged marital friendship. Therapists, too, can choose among the questionnaires and strategies for those that fit the needs of particular couples. Whatever their choice, they will find that their practice is greatly enriched by the scientifically-based offerings of The Marriage Clinic.

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand


Megan Devine - 2017
    Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention


Susan Rose Blauner - 2002
    In this timely and important book, Susan Blauner breaks the silence to offer guidance and hope for those contemplating ending their lives -- and for their loved ones.A survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Blauner eloquently describes the feelings and fantasies surrounding suicide. In a direct, nonjudgmental, and loving voice, she offers affirmations and suggestions for those experiencing life-ending thoughts, and for their friends and family. Here is an essential resource destined to be the classic guide on the subject.

The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family


Karyn Purvis - 2007
    Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family--and addressing their special needs--requires care, consideration, and compassion.Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, "The Connected Child" will help you: Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened

10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy


Julie Schwartz Gottman - 2014
    They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging. This book gathers together what they have learned over the years of their practice and touches on issues at the core of couples work. Topics addressed include:• You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”?• Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe?• Which client is right if they argue in front of you? Which one is the culprit, and which one is innocent? Who should you empathize with?• How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together?• What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you?• How to make your work research-basedNo-one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book.

Talk Is Not Enough: How Psychotherapy Really Works


Willard Gaylin - 2000
    Drawing on over thirty years of experience as a psychotherapist, analyst, and teacher, Dr. Gaylin addresses the fundamentals of the therapeutic process: How does therapy work? Can "talking" truly precipitate a change in behavior? Why do therapists rely so heavily on childhood experiences? Does the past really affect the present? Gaylin speaks plainly but profoundly about the art of therapy, what the roles of the patient and therapist should be, and what it takes, on the part of each, for a patient to get better. The result is an enlightening tour through one of the most misunderstood sciences of our time. As insurance companies limit the number of therapy sessions they will cover and people look for quick-fix "cures" for their psychological ailments, Dr. Gaylin explains the importance of long-term therapy. This book has a natural audience of people in therapy. Current estimates put this number at 15 million.