Or to inspire people to flock to the dancefloor as a DJ.Frank soon discovers that the tempting sins of the flesh have consequences; when Frank becomes a real father, he realises he is going to need a miracle to feed the five thousand...

    Witty and irreverent, Horseradish is a book with universal appeal, a delightful vehicle to introduce Snicket's uproariously unhappy observations to a crowd not yet familiar with the Baudelaires' misadventures.

    Have a read.

    Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.

    The first novel by Drew, writer of the long-running comics Toothpaste For Dinner and Married To The Sea.

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

    Echoes of Waiting for Godot resound, reality and illusion mix, and where fate leads heroes to a tragic but inevitable end.

    From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Snug and the bestselling Little Moments of Love comes an all-new collection, In Love & Pajamas by Catana Chetwynd of Catana Comics!  When you've reached that sweatpants-wearing cozy place in your relationship, it's all In Love & Pajamas!  This brand-new collection of Catana Comics presents some fan favorites and half of the book features never-before-seen comics that delight and amuse readers of all ages.  Wholesome, sweet, feel-good humor!

    Every two years the international art world descends on Venice for the opening of the Biennale. Among them is Jeff Atman–a jaded and dissolute journalist–whose dedication to the cause of Bellini-fuelled partygoing is only intermittently disturbed by the obligation to file a story. When he meets the spellbinding Laura, he is rejuvenated and ecstatic. Their romance blossoms quickly, but is it destined to disappear just as rapidly? Every day thousands of pilgrims head to the banks of the Ganges at Varanasi, the holiest Hindu city in India. Among their number is a narrator who may or may not be the Atman previously seen in Venice. Intending to visit only for a few days he ends up staying for months, and suddenly finds–or should that be loses?–a hitherto unexamined idea of himself, the self. In a romance he can only observe, he sees a reflection of the kind of pleasures that, willingly or not, he has renounced. In the process, two ancient and watery cities become versions of each other. Could two stories, in two different cities, actually be one and the same story? Nothing Geoff Dyer has written before is as wonderfully unbridled, as dead-on in evocation of place, longing and the possibility of neurotic enlightenment, and as irrepressibly entertaining as Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi.

    Hilarious, horrifying and heartbreaking, this diary is everything you wanted to know – and more than a few things you didn't – about life on and off the hospital ward. As seen on ITV's Zoe Ball Book Club This edition includes extra diary entries and a new afterword by the author.

    He's been bugging her to start writing again since her breakup with Ian over a year ago. And so what if the "Anna K" persona in Anna's online journal has a fabulous boyfriend named Ian? It's not like the real Ian will ever find out about it."The story started writing itself."Almost instantly Anna K starts getting e-mail from adoring fans that read her daily postings religiously. One devotee, Tess, seems intent on becoming Anna K's real-life best friend and another, a male admirer who goes by the name of "Ldobler," sounds like he'd want to date Anna K if she didn't already have a boyfriend. Meanwhile, the real Anna can't help but wonder if her newfound fans like her or the alter ego she's created. It's only a matter of time before fact and fiction collide and force Anna to decide not only who she wants to be with, but who she wants to be.

    A special part 2 collection of hilarious tales about Tinkle's best-loved comic character - Suppandi, the goof, whose antics leave his bosses bothered and bewildered.

    Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it's pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn't write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama--and heroic hilarity--of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it's more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.

    The book's publication was a wish that seemed to end with Lennon's assassination in 1980 and the theft of the manuscript from the Lennons' home in 1982. When it was recovered and first published in 1986, Skywriting received immediate critical and popular acclaim. Filled with Lennon's extraordinary creative powers and lavishly illustrated with his own drawings, the collection reveals his fertile creative spirit up close and in full force. Included in Skywriting are "Two Virgins," written when the public learned that John and Yoko were living together as husband and wife, and John's only autobiography, "The Ballad of John and Yoko." In addition there are notes on his falling in love with Yoko, the breakup of the Beatles, his persecution by U.S. authorities, and his withdrawal from public life. This is a book with John Lennon's spirit on every page�a spirit the world needs to remember.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”