• Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    She’s created 20 new patterns to get readers wearing their own high-quality knits in only two weeks. Each sweater features just the right amount of detail for a beautifully textured look with minimal work. Fewer buttonholes and no-fuss construction make the garments surprisingly simple to finish. Designed with portability in mind, the patterns are easy to memorize, making any spare moment prime knitting time. Marie’s friendly, straightforward instruction and clear technique tutorials have made her patterns a hit with knitters online. In this book, she shares her tested tips and tricks for more efficient knitting and faster results. This collection of cozy pullovers and contemporary cardigans never sacrifices style for speed. Captivating details like cables and stripes are made simple with Marie’s techniques. Readers will find tools to gauge their stitching speed, set a project timeline and achieve the perfect fit for any size. Timeless, comfortable and versatile, these quick sweaters will be readers’ favorites to gift and wear for years to come.

    “When bad sex happens to good people, there is no recourse like full disclosure,” is the motto of Worst Laid Plans, a collection of forty probably-too-intimate, but shockingly funny, true-life tales of lust gone wrong.  The stories are divided into themed sections including Foreign Affairs (“When bad sex goes abroad”), Self-Help (“Love thyself…but do it carefully”), On the Rebound (“The art of getting back in-and-out-there”), Mob Mentality (People will do things in groups they would never do alone”), and The End of Innocence (“A memorial to virginity”) among others.  The book evolved out of a storytelling event originally staged at Upright Citizen Brigade, the highly influential comedy organization co-founded by Amy Poehler, who along with Janeane Garofalo and SNL’s Casey Wilson, performed at the show that continues today.  Part Vagina Monologues, part car crash, and wholly hilarious, the volume features contributions from shameless actors, comedians, and writers who will shamelessly spread the word via blogs, on-line videos, tweets, on-going WLP performances, film/TV/media contacts, and further sexual conquests.“[A] hilarious testimonial to the vast array of consequences we face afterhaving ignored that little voice inside that says: ‘Don’t.’ ‘This isn’t agood idea.’  ‘Leave now.’”—Laraine Newman (Saturday Night Live, The Groundlings)   “Irrefutable evidence that one should wait until marriage to have sex.”—Joel McHale (The Soup, Community)   “This book will make you laugh, scream, and want to be a lesbian.”—Whitney Cummings (Chelsea Lately, Comedy Central)   “This is the best kind of comedy; that which makes you both laugh anderect.”—Rob Corddry (The Daily Show)

    The man all editors turned to when they needed a book, film, or tv program savaged was tired of being so mean. He wanted to be more like Susan Sarandon. Or Sting. Determined to mend his ways, Queenan embarked on the most difficult task of his career: he decided to become a nice person. Now available in paperback, My Goodness is the side-splitting result of Queenans attempted transformation: from his use of animal-friendly Body Shop goods to his letter of apology to Jackie Collins after a scathing review of her latest book; from his quest to save the whales to his quest to save Linda Tripages.

    Millions of loyal listeners tune in every week to hear his unique blend of news and views. Now the man who brought us "The Rest Of The Story" brings us the humor behind the headlines in this hilarious collection of truth-is-funnier-than-fiction stories. Told in Paul Harvey's unique, inimitable, and unforgettable style, here are stories that will tickle you, touch you-and just plain make you laugh out loud, such as . . .the jogger who quit running because the wind kept putting out his cigarette, the man who fell into a tree stump and had to be rescued by forest rangers, the nude sunbather on the hotel roof who accidentally stretched out over the dining room skylight, the woman karate expert who stopped a purse snatcher cold--by hitting him over the head with her umbrella, the man who resigned himself to deafness for twenty years--until he discovered his hearing aid was in the wrong ear. From wacky want ads to riotous run-ins with the law, from embarrassing moments at home and work to the frank and funny things kids say, "Paul Harvey's For What It's Worth" celebrates human eccentricity in all its infinitely amusing variety.

    They encourage quilters to use bold patterns and unusual color combinations, and to trust their instincts rather than follow rigid rules. In Material Obsession, Doughty and Fielke present 23 vibrant quilt patterns that appear fresh and modern, but are often based on traditional designs. They explain how any quilter, novice or seasoned, can create striking variations of their own by seeking inspiration from both the fabric in front of them and the world around them. Patterns are arranged in order of difficulty, from easy to advanced, and a techniques section fully describes the basics of patchwork and quilting. Material Obsession provides quilters with everything they need to put a modern twist on an age-old craft—and to express their own creative spirits while they’re at it.

     At 7,600 words, this work is a collection of humorous insights into important topics ranging from annoying pet people (“I’m Not Talking About You, Of Course”), to analyzing your inner child (“Irrational Fears”), to living like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane (“A Jolt of Electricity”). Other essays examine just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze (“It All Started with a Loud Sneeze”), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste (“Ask Me No Questions”), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent’s obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex (“Crazy Hobbies”), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens (“Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic”). If you don’t see yourself in each of these entertaining essays, then I’m not talking about you, of course.

    Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

     Meet Margaret, whose adventures in a new quilting group help her reconnect with her daughter as they grieve the slow loss of a loved one to Alzheimer’s. Then there’s Liz, a quilter seeking her own tribe in a neighborhood of perfect moms. But maybe she has more in common with her neighbors than she thinks. Sisters Amanda and Lucy, one dreamy, the other practical as the day is long, have financial woes that may force them to sell their beloved home. Can a quilt made with fabric from a mysterious aunt save the day? Lisa is still reckoning with the loss of her best friend. Diving headfirst into a new quilt project, she learns that sometimes a gift can be a first step toward healing. Melissa Bennett is sensible, smart and skeptical of marriage. A husband sounds nice, but with all the books and quilts in her life, where would she put him?

    Whether the subject is barbershop mythology or a meditation on the circumstances of one's own conception, Fulghum makes us a little more aware of the richness, fullness, and joyousness of life.

    The gloves are off as best-selling author RD Reynolds and his co-author Blade Braxton pull no punches in looking at some of wrestling’s biggest mistakes, most comical mishaps and most egotistical performers. Among the lists included in this cornucopia of wrestling nonsense are: • Sights Wrestling Fans Should Never Be Forced To See Again! • The Greatest Mullets in the History of the Game! • Porn Stars Who Moonlighted in Wrestling! • The Proof that DX is really, REALLY Gay! • The Greatest Mugshots — Featuring Your Favourite Wrestlers! • The Pieces of Definitive Evidence that WCW May Have Been Run By Nazis! • Pro Wrestling’s Stupidest Hometowns! • The Things That Vince McMahon Always Wants to Talk About (Half of Which Involve His Genitalia)! Of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the book’s craptastic main event: the 25 Worst Gimmicks of All Time. Irreverent, off-kilter, and certain to be offensive to all, The WrestleCrap Book of Lists! is pro wrestling’s very worst of the worst!

    30,000 first printing."

    It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job.If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart.In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.

    Readers who enjoyed Too Much Tuscan Sun will welcome this second book, which includes even more episodes from the author’s life growing up as a Chiantigiano.

    Together, the cookbooks contain over 550 of Paula’s classic, down home, Southern recipes and this boxed set makes a tempting addition to any cookbook collection, and a great gift for friends!