because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. So it’s only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can’t because you’d go to prison, and then you’d really never get to poop alone again. Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. Karen Alpert is the writer of the popular blog Baby Sideburns. You may have seen some of her more viral posts like “Ten Things I Really F’ing Want for Mother’s Day,” “Daddy Sticker Chart” and “What NOT to F’ing Buy My Kids this Holiday.” Or you may know her from her Facebook page that has over 130,000 followers. I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

    While some liked the cut of his jib, others did not and England coach Duncan Fletcher already had a foot in the latter camp when Swann missed the bus for the first of two times on that tour. Suddenly he was judged on temperament and not talent. Although Swann candidly concedes he was nowhere near good enough for the top level at that stage in his career, his jettisoning back to county cricket for the next seven years, following a solitary one-day international, hinted at a career wasted. A clash with then Northamptonshire coach Kepler Wessels triggered his move to Nottinghamshire in 2005. A County Championship winner in his debut season, he was back in the England fold at the end of his third. Forever a flamboyant showman, he made up for lost time with two wickets in his first over against India—his habit of striking in his opening over a spell has become a party piece. You cannot keep the spotlight off him for long. Since moving into the top ten of the world rankings for bowlers on the back of eight wickets in the Ashes-defining Oval Test of 2009, he has not dropped outside it, and has been widely tipped to be the decisive factor in the defense of the urn in Australia.

    (And I thought I had problems.) As I sat among a circle of strangers waiting for my turn to share, I glanced at the Absolutely No Swearing sign hanging from the ceiling and thought, This will be a challenge. Im Linda, I began, I have no husband, no job, and you people are my only friends. Everyone laughed at my pathetic truth." -- Linda Lou Bastard Husband: A Love Story is an autobiographical account of the author's first year alone in Las Vegas following a midlife divorce. Balancing poignancy and edgy humor, Linda Lou reflects on the troubled relationship that prompted this story and leads readers through a hodgepodge of emotions as vast as a Vegas buffet--from the sadness of a failed union and the questioning of her spiritual convictions to the thrill of exploring the Vegas neon nightlife and the triumph of performing stand-up comedy for the first time at age 46.

    It candidly reveals the provocative and secret world of a planned teen pregnancy and the brutal consequences that follow. The girl next door - popular and driven. Once upon a time a beautiful teenager looked forward to school letting out and the warm, carefree days to come. But in the summer of her fifteenth year, things would drastically change. After reading a romance book sensationalizing a young woman's perfect life following the hookup with a wealthy prince charming, Elizabeth set out to create her own fairy tale ending. This would become the beginning of the darkest hours in her life: pregnancy, bridesmaids, drugs and jail. Long Blue Line is Elizabeth's true story about her descent into addiction. Her obsession with pregnancy, social issues, independence, and, ultimately drugs is chronicled in brutally honest Prose that will leave you spellbound. Her journey isn't over - far from it. She still has nightmares, but today she is wiser and lives in reality. If you are this girl, you will take a deep breath and nod your head knowingly. If you knew this girl, you will rethink your assumptions. If this girl is your daughter, you will finally get an insider's look at what she can't put into words. Above all, you will be moved - moved to tears, to unity, to action. Elizabeth is one of the lucky ones. She survived. Sadly, many young women and their children are unable to escape the madness and become another one of too many true crime stories. Not everyone gets a second chance, and she hopes to inspire others with her straightforward honesty.

    and much, much more!BACK ON TOP is fast-paced and occasionally outrageous, told with the flair readers loved in HOOKED. Samantha X does not hold back when it comes men, love, sex - and getting herself back on top.

    All his life Don had been too shy, too deeply pained to ask his father or grandparents to tell him the story of the lovely girl named Peggy Snyder--what delighted or troubled her, who her friends were, how she fell in love, what cut short her brief life.But then, nearing his fiftieth birthday and compelled by his father's failing health, Snyder embarked on a quest to find his mother. He traveled many times from his home in Maine down to his mother's small Pennsylvania town to trace her childhood and adolescence. He tracked down Peggy's high school friends, spent time with her teachers, probed the memories of the girls--now elderly women-- who had been her bridesmaids. Detail by detail, Don pieced together the harrowing story of Peggy's final year--her passionate love affair with her husband, the unexpected pregnancy, the sudden illness that consumed her, and the impossible choice she was forced to make.A heartbreaking, overwhelmingly beautiful book, Of Time and Memory is a story of remembering--and reclaiming--the fragile mystery of a beloved life.

    She's interviewed many of the biggest names in entertainment -- Jennifer Lopez, Whitney Houston, and Queen Latifah among them -- and is known for her ability to disarm and get them to reveal their secrets. Known as both a "shock jock diva" and "the biggest mouth in New York," Wendy Williams is always at the top of her game, whether she's doing color commentary for the VH1 Fashion Awards or giving romantic advice on her daily drive-time show. But there's more to the Queen of Urban Radio than meets the mike. Wendy's Got the Heat is her story -- about growing up in a predominately white suburb, recovering from drug addiction, struggling to launch a successful career in one of the most male-dominated media industries -- and it's by turns painful, hilarious, triumphant, and totally true.

    It includes the story of Frank's beloved sister, Eva, who was a top-class West End shoplifter, and his sons David and Patrick, who reveal in shocking detail the full extent of the family's network and the influences that shaped them.With sawn-off shotguns as toys, the Kray twins as family friends and a mother who urged them as teenagers to 'get out of bed and rob a bleedin' bank', it is little wonder that the Fraser boys were heavily involved in organized crime by the time they were in their twenties. Packed with new information, and featuring some of the most famous names in the London underworld, this is a fascinating slice of gangland history seen through the eyes of Frank Fraser and his two renegade sons.

    They ate braised leeks. They played by themselves while their parents sipped coffee. And yet French kids were still boisterous, curious, and creative. Why? How?            With a notebook stashed in her diaper bag, Druckerman set out to investigate—and wound up sparking a national debate on parenting. Researched over three years and written in her warm, funny voice, Bringing Up Bébé is deeply wise, charmingly told, and destined to become a classic resource for American parents.

    Rosie Pope—maternity fashion designer, pregnancy guru, and star of the hit TV show Pregnant in Heels on Bravo—leads expectant mothers through the ups and downs of pregnancy with her trademark humor and down-to-earth charm, tackling difficult issues with refreshing candor while offering useful information about medical support. The founder of MomPrep—a prenatal and postpartum education center—Rosie makes the journey to motherhood even more memorable with friendly advice, laugh-out-loud stories, and heartfelt, “been-there” insights. Mommy IQ is a must-own handbook for moms-to-be, young moms, and the families of expectant moms.

    Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer and they hoped, fervently, never to see his like again. From his early encounters with a less-than-impressed public, through the terrifying days of the Springbok Tour riots, to the gradual realisation that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for life on the beat, this is the hilarious story of a young cop who created a severe disturbance in the force.

    Some of his tales will seem far fetched, unless you're a cop and then you know that anything can happen - and just when you think you've seen it all, someone will surprise you.

    An unpopular war. A military and diplomatic team in disarray. Those are the challenges President Obama has faced as he attempts to make a success of U.S involvement in Afghanistan. They are also the challenges President Truman surmounted in the winter of 1950 as he began managing a war in Korea that risked becoming bigger and more costly. It was the first significant armed conflict of the Cold War: United States troops under the command of General Douglas MacArthur came to the aid of the South Koreans after North Korea invaded. When Communist China entered the conflict on the side of the North Koreans, the crisis seemed on the verge of flaring into a world war. Truman was determined not to let that happen. MacArthur kept urging a widening of the war into China itself and ignoring his Commander in Chief. On April 11, 1951, after MacArthur had “shot his mouth off,” as one diplomat put it, one too many times, Truman fired him. The story of their showdown—one of the most dramatic in U.S. history between a Commander in Chief and his top soldier in the field—is captured in all its detail by David McCullough in his biography Truman, and presented here in a e-book called Truman Fires MacArthur (an excerpt of Truman, McCullough’s Pulitzer Prize-winning biography), which was the headline carried in many newspapers around the country the next day. Truman Fires MacArthur will continue to ride the headlines. It will go on sale as an ebook just as the Rolling Stone profile that exposed General Stanley McChrystal’s insurrection and forced his resignation hits newsstands, and media coverage of the showdown continues to draw historical analogies between Truman and Obama.

    Saving Henry is a memoir of the author's struggle to save the life of her son Henry, who suffered from a rare childhood illness. Henry was born with a heart condition that was operable, but which proved to be a precursor for a rare, almost-always fatal illness: Fanconi anemia.  Laurie, Henry's mom, decided to do everything in her power to fight the course of the disease. She and her husband signed on for a brand new procedure called PGD that, through in vitro fertilization combined with genetic testing, was supposed to be able to produce a new baby who was a carrier of the gene, but who would not become ill with it. The stem cells from the umbilical cord could then be implanted into Henry's body and ultimately save him. As Laurie puts it, "I believe in love and science, nothing more and nothing less."Laurie and her husband had a second child who was healthy but not an FA carrier, and then went through nine failed courses of PGD before they had to give up. Meanwhile, the feisty little boy who loved Batman, Cal Ripken, and root beer-flavored anesthesia captivated everyone who came in contact with him, from New York City to Minneapolis, with his spunk and "never give up" attitude.   Henry was the little kid who, when the nurses came to take blood samples, brandished his Harry Potter sword and said, "Bring it on!" and when he lost his hair after a chemo treatment, he declared, "Hey, I look like Michael Jordan!" Laurie became a lobbyist for stem cell research, testifying before Congress, written up by Lisa Belkin in the New York Times and other media, and appearing on Nightline to discuss Henry's case and the importance of the research. Throughout it all, Henry's courage and bravery were a source of inspiration for the many nurses, doctors, friends and family who interacted with him-- and he has saved many lives through his participation in groundbreaking research. This is the moving and incredibly inspiring story of this family's search for a cure, and the impact their amazing son had on the lives of so many.

    She’s still smoking hot, but telling jokes about farting on men’s balls isn’t helping her find The One...Hilarious, sweet, and bitingly honest, Cherry On Top reveals how one gorgeous, potty-mouthed blonde took back Hollywood in middle age, and embarked on a fresh search for love―one fart joke at a time.