The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

     When petty criminal, Cal Carver, is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong... Featuring spaceships, spacemen, space battles, space spiders, and lots of space stuff in general, isn't it time you set (space) sail with Space Team? This box set collects books 4-6 in the bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team: Song of the Space Siren Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy

    

    Pranks both childish and reckless, nights of wild partying, a career repeatedly built and torn down, a roller-coaster love life, and risks you and I wouldn't dare to take: Papa CJ is able to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. And then destroy it. Only to rise again like a phoenix. As Papa CJ lays bare his life, from the streets of Calcutta to the University of Oxford and stages across the world, you will bask in nostalgia, laugh your guts out, feel your heart ache, and find a new lens with which to look at your own life. A lens that allows you, like Papa CJ, to always see the positive. And of course, the funny. Seize it. Enjoy it!

    His job bores him and his love is unrequited. Very few people pay attention to Michael, and that suits him fine. Then one day, he finds himself the winner of the largest lottery in the history of Europe – €190,000,000! Under the weight of his new found wealth and fame, Michael’s life spirals out of control until he is forced to make a decision. A decision that will capture the imagination of the entire world…

    Now it’s up to Sam, who’s saved his friend's neck before, to negotiate with an underworld hit men and Mafioso, in order to prevent his friend from winding up dead.As usual, Sam and Elena still find time to enjoy the good life, but as Sam’s sleuthing draws him closer to the truth, he realizes his friend might not be the only one in trouble… Rich with clever twists and sparkling scenery, Murder in the Med is the ultimate summer holiday read. *** Murder in the Med was previously published as The Corsican Caper ***

    Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! KINDLE UNLIMITED & AMAZON PRIME can read this book for FREE! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 100+ knock knock funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults BONUS INCLUDED --> FREE Joke Book Download 101 Funny Jokes (see link inside) Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Joke Book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Bless!Bless who?I didn’t sneeze! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, ages5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, comedy, humor, preteen, young adult laughing, kids comedy

    But he soon finds himself struggling to keep the peace between three feisty fellow judges who have very different views about how to do their job, and about how Charlie should do his.And as if that’s not enough, there’s the endless battle against the ‘Grey Smoothies’, the humourless grey-suited civil servants who seem determined to drown Charlie in paperwork and strip the court of its last vestiges of civilisation.No hope of a quiet life then for Charlie, and there are times when his real job – trying the challenging criminal cases that come before him – actually seems like light relief. If you like Rumpole of the Bailey, you'll love Walden of Bermondsey Praise for Walden of Bermondsey 'No one writes with more wit, warmth and insight about the law and its practitioners than Peter Murphy. He has no equal since the great John 'Rumpole' Mortimer' - David Ambrose'Though his exasperation is sometimes palpable, what triumphs over everything is his sense of humour. And it is the humour that makes Walden of Bermondsey such a delightful read. Think of him as what Rumpole would be like if he ever became a judge, and you get some idea of his self-deprecating wit and indomitable stoicism. Add a dash of Henry Cecil for his situation and AP Herbert for the fun he has with the law, and you get a sense of Peter's literary precedents' - Paul Magrath

     Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Aside from a minor glitch or two, everything has gone to plan with the grand opening of Pine Time Bed-and-Breakfast. Then one of Jayne’s guests turns up dead on the side of the road. Now, with some of the locals pointing out that the rash of murders plaguing the village started when Jayne arrived, Jayne has to clear her own name while tracking down the real killer. Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five As the weather turns crisp, Jayne and the other villagers prepare for the last big tourist draw of the season: the autumn equinox festival and its ever-popular cooking competition. Events turn from friendly to fatal, however, when one of the contestants is found dead in the woods. As all eyes turn to one of the villagers as the killer, Jayne digs deep to clear the name of one of their own. Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six The village is calm and quiet for the Samhain feast, until a boy goes missing during trick-or-treating. The parents say he does this sometimes, but with a storm bearing down on the village, Jayne isn’t content to dismiss this as a case of a curious kid off exploring the woods. What readers are saying: “I've read them all and just want to go back.” “I wish Whispering Pines was a real place” “If you enjoy honest, rather raw characters seeking direction, and the consequences of past mistakes, you'll enjoy this series as much as I have.” “My mind is still in Whispering Pines. I can clearly see the thatched roof houses, their wood and stucco exteriors. It reminds me of Shakespeare's house in London." “I really enjoy how the characters continue to evolve in this series and the new eccentrics fit right in!” “I totally fell in love with both the village and the story.” “I would gladly plan my next trip to Whispering Pines.” The Whispering Pines Mystery Series Family Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery Kept Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Two Original Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Three Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six Silent Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Seven Merciful Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Eight

    Daisy is broken-hearted when her boyfriend, Sebastian, announces his engagement to Celeste. Sebastian works for a publishing company in London. Celeste's father, Franklin, owns the company. Daisy is a freelance botanical illustrator who often works for Franklin, illustrating books.Angry and betrayed, Daisy leaves London and heads for a break in Cornwall. Franklin has given her the keys to his holiday cottage in a small Cornish town. The seclusion she seeks is soon disturbed when she meets Jake Wolfe. Jake is a successful businessman who owns and runs a health food shop in the town. He is also the author of herbal books. His latest book is his finest project, to find a cure for lovesickness. He believes he has found the cure for love. All he requires is someone broken-hearted to test out the latest version of his remedy.Daisy and Jake are immediately at odds. Daisy doesn't want to be anyone's guinea pig. Finally, Daisy agrees to test Jake's cure for love. Will it cure her of being in love with Sebastian? Or has she fallen for Jake? Perhaps castle owner Roman Penhaligan has stolen her heart? Will she take it? Or will everyone stop her drinking the remedy before it's too late?This book is filled with entertaining characters like the local gossip Mrs Lemon, whimsical uncle Woolley, incorrigible Sharky the baker, and others.The Cure for Love is a light-hearted romance set in Cornwall and London during the summer.About the Author:De-ann Black is a bestselling author, traditionally published for over 15 years, with more than 50 books published. She's also a scriptwriter and former newspaper journalist.New releases for 2013 & 2012 include:CHRISTMAS ROMANCE IN PARISTHE CHOCOLATE CAKE SHOP IN NEW YORK AT CHRISTMASTHE CHRISTMAS CHOCOLATIERTHE CHRISTMAS TEA SHOP & BAKERYTHE VINTAGE TEA DRESS SHOP IN SUMMERTHE FAIRYTALE TEA DRESS SHOP IN EDINBURGHTHE TEA DRESS SHOP AT CHRISTMASCHRISTMAS ROMANCE IN SCOTLANDDUBLIN GIRL - HOT SUMMER IN THE CITYTHE BITCH-PROOF BRIDETHE BITCH-PROOF ROMANCESHOPPING FOR MENSHOPPING FOR MEN AT CHRISTMASOOPS! I'M UP TO MISCHIEFOOPS! I'M A SECRET AGENTOOPS! I'M A HOLLYWOOD AGENTI'M HOLDING OUT FOR A VAMPIRE BOYFRIENDWHY ARE ALL THE GOOD GUYS TOTAL MONSTERS?SHADOWS OF MURDERAnd the international thriller ELECTRIC SHADOWSPlus two new box sets:THE BITCH-PROOF BOX SETOOPS! IT'S CHRISTMAS BOX SET

    Especially at Christmas It’s all jingles but no bells this year as East End mum Babs Miller tries to find somewhere to stage one of her legendary Christmas parties. But no one’s hiring to Babs this festive season. Her shindig’s reputation for all-round mayhem has preceded her. There’s another problem: no one wants Babs’ aging relative, the notorious Aunt Ruddy, on their premises. She could start a fight on a desert island. But Aunt Ruddy won’t be going anywhere this Christmas because she’s laid up in hospital. Babs begins to suspect that Ruddy owns something valuable that’s in danger of being stolen. Babs soon fears the light-fingered thief might be closer to home than she thinks.

    In this outrageously funny and oddly wise guide to relationships, forty-five-year-old bachelor Will Forte shares his bulletproof advice for attracting-and retaining-a romantic partner of the fairer sex. Told in the form of 101 hand-drawn rules of thumb, the book takes on all the questions men are dying to know the answers to but are too afraid to ask: What activities are acceptable and not acceptable to do with a romantic interest's father? What animals, if any, should never be incorporated into foreplay? Should I claim to have collaborated with a famous poet? Combining wisdom, both practical and not, with idiosyncratic drawings so simple that even a romantically frustrated man-child could understand them, 101 Things to Definitely Not Do If You Want to Get a Chick gracefully answers these questions and ninety-eight others.

    One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes ! Have fun and laugh!

    Do geeft book.' And we is like, 'OKay. Whatevers. Just pays us monees.'Den dey is say, 'Make book about frensheep.' And we is like, 'But we ees hate evrybodies.' ANd dey is go, 'But dat make most monees.' So we is like, 'Okay. We expert.'"And experts they are, as they show in such an endearing expression of care as, "If you is have a beeg butt, frend sometime honesst and say, 'you have beeg butt.'"Named Best Comic Strip of the Year by the National Cartoonists Society in 2004 and 2007, Pearls Before Swine has a devoted fan following of crockydiles and humans alike.

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.