You can’t fathom the weirdness– unless you’re one of the ER aliens. If you are, buy a dozen copies to give away: to your family, your neighbors, and the PTA. They’ll learn things you never had the heart to tell them, but they should know, like how it's like to work in the ER, the deviousness of shampoo bottles and the dangers of frying bacon naked.

    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    

    Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear is a hilarious new Kindle Single from Award-Winning and Amazon Best-Selling author and humorist Ingrid Reinke.On the cold January day when Ingrid Reinke turned 30, she looked back upon the last decade of her life in deep thought before finally shaking her head and mumbling to herself the following insight: "Wow, what a shit show."So, she sat down, braless and alone, and penned a collection of laugh-out-loud essays about the ridiculous, shocking and occasionally horrifying things that happen to us as we ungracefully age from 20 to 30, try, semi-successfully, to leave our clueless years behind and become mature, responsible grown-up women.From weird hairs to boob sweat, OCD to weddings, Twirty-Something swings between a no-holds-barred conversation and a cautionary tale about aging and all the crap that comes along with it.Sometime instruction manual, sometime commiseration partner, get ready for Reinke's honest and occasionally potty-mouthed accounts of this tumultuous decade.So hike up your yoga pants, plop another ice cube in your Pinot Grigio and get ready to laugh at the author, young women in general, and most of all at yourself.

    Bullies and misers, dreamers and the narrow-minded, all got a taste of his wit, much to the delight of readers.

    And laundry." --Baby Blues proverbWhen the recipe box has more pizza coupons than recipes, or for those parenting days when all you seem to accomplish is brushing your hair and making a tray of ice cubes, Baby Blues offers parental fatigue redemption. The brainchild of Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, this Baby Blues treasury features cartoons from Briefcase Full of Baby Blues and Night Shift. From prophetic Baby Blues proverbs like, "The grass is always greener on the knees of your kid's new white pants," to Dinner Table Olympics where Synchronized Whining is the main event, young parents Darryl and Wanda keep pace with energetic children Zoe, Hammie, and baby Wren, as Kirkman and Scott expertly navigate the daily nuances of newborns, nocturnal diaper changes, and the nirvana of family life.

    This book is a laugh-out-loud way to educate yourself, your children, and your friends about how money really works...and a way to smile while you're straightening out that mess you call your financial life.

    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

    As soon as they drive across Andalusia, they fall in love with its rugged beauty, whitewashed villages, red geraniums, giant aloes, and endless olive trees. After weeks of visiting ruins and dilapidated sheds advertised as homes, they find a little stone cottage in a mountain valley in the middle of nowhere. Equipped with everything that a romantic soul desires: a patio shaded by grape vines, an ancient bay leaf tree, and a formidable oak in front of a long driveway, they fall in love with this property and decide to reform it into a guest house. With little foresight or planning, they exchange cushy expats lives for a life in the sun.Quite quickly, however, they find themselves battling cowboy builders, no electricity, a dry well, torrential rain storms, and a freezing cold winter without a roof over their heads. Through all these adventures, they develop relations with their neighbours who had lived in the valley for many generations. Puzzled by the strangers’ behaviour, the neighbours teach them about olive picking, and the cultivation of local vegetables. But primarily, they offer their endless generosity and insight into life in rural Andalusia.As they begin to settle in, financial problems confront our somewhat naïve couple. Without steady pay checks and construction bills piling up, their idea of the good life starts to fall apart. Written with a wry sense of honest humour, this story is filled with twists and turns that take the reader on a journey from a life where every day was monotonously repetitive to a place where every day presents a new challenge.

    Schulz, starring all your favorite characters and even some underrated ones like Belle and Rerun. Collects issues #17-20.

    I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do. Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.Lord, I apologize!The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are!Also available as an eBook.From the Hardcover edition.

    This ebook documents the most egregious – and most hilarious – offenders from the moment Superman flew onto the Atari 2600 in 1978 all the way through 1992, when Konami's classic X-Men sucked in quarter after quarter in arcades. NEARLY 80 SUPERHERO GAMES Some you've played. Some you haven't. And quite a few you never even knew existed in the first place. Some high-/lowlights: Purple Dark Knight vs. Green Joker in Batman: The Video Game (NES) Proven instances of "slapping a license" on an already-developed game Games that stripped Wolverine and He-Man of their most iconic weaponry A questionable transportation method for the Man of Steel in Superman (NES) A Transformers game from the creator of Pitfall! The strangest comic book license ever to hit the Sega Genesis The most unnecessary tie-in to a superhero animated series of all time The Danger Mouse Trilogy That one lonely Thundercats game ANSWERS TO BURNING QUESTIONS YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW TO ASK Who is "the Princess Peach of superhero games"? Who was the first Marvel character to be featured in three games? And what's the single gaming appearance he's had since 1985? Which super-character is most consistently misrepresented in games? What common superhero gaming feature was pioneered by LJN's otherwise absolutely horrible X-Men NES game? Which hero's primary gaming nemesis is someone he still has yet to even meet in the comics? What do an NES game and a major restaurant chain agree is Wolverine's favorite food? Why is Carnage getting naked on my SNES?! GAMING PLATFORMS YOU LOVED...OR DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED Atari 2600 | Intellivision | Commodore 64 | Nintendo Entertainment System | Game Boy | Super NES | Sega Master System | Genesis | Game Gear | Lynx | ZX Spectrum | MSX | PC-DOS | MORE! YOUR FAVORITE HEROES (AND SOME YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF) From Marvel! Spider-Man | Wolverine and the X-Men | Hulk | Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Vision, and a bunch of other Avengers | Punisher | Human Torch and the Thing from the Fantastic Four | Silver Surfer | Howard the Duck From DC! Superman | Batman | Flash | Swamp Thing From Other Comic Publishers! Conan | Flash Gordon | Judge Dredd | Ex-Mutants From Toy Lines and Cartoons! Transformers | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles | He-Man and the Masters of the Universe | Bartman and Radioactive Man from The Simpsons | G.I.

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.