I am a Pole (And So Can You!)


Stephen Colbert - 2012
    "The sad thing is, I like it" - Maurice Sendak"The perfect gift to give a child or grandchild for their high school or college graduation.Also Father's Day.Also, other times." - Stephen Colbert

The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish


Neil Gaiman - 1997
    "Oh-oh," said my little sister.What if you wanted your best friend's two goldfish so much that you'd swap anything for them, even your father?What if your mother came home and found out what you'd done?The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish is a hilarious adventure and was the first book for younger readers from the acclaimed author and illustrator of the New York Times best-sellers The Wolves in the Walls and Coraline. Chosen as one of Newsweek magazine's Best Children's Books of the Year, The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish is beloved by readers of all ages. This new edition features brand-new jacket art and an afterword by the author on the origins of this unique and wonderfully funny story.

You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children


Dr. Seuss - 1986
    Seuss creates a classic picture-book ode to aging in You're Only Old Once! On a visit to "the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair," readers will laugh with familiar horror at the poking and prodding and testing and ogling that go hand in hand with the dreaded appellation of "senior citizen." Though Dr. Seuss is known for his peerless work in books for children, this comical look at what it's like to get older is ideal for Seuss fans of advanced years. In his own words, this is "a book for obsolete children." A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, and holidays!

Go the F**k to Sleep


Adam Mansbach - 2011
    You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Jabberwocky


Lewis Carroll - 1872
    The poem first appeared in 1872 in Lewis Carroll’s classic THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE, and since then, its mysterious and lyrical lines have delighted readers of all ages. With great wit and imagination, illustrator Joel Stewart offers a singular vision of the world of "Jabberwocky" and all its memorable creatures.

A Light in the Attic


Shel Silverstein - 1981
    You will talk with Broiled Face, and find out what happens when Somebody steals your knees, you get caught by the Quick-Digesting Gink, a Mountain snores, and They Put a Brassiere on the Camel.From the creator of the beloved poetry collections Where the Sidewalk Ends and Falling Up, here is another wondrous book of poems and drawings.

Goodnight Darth Vader


Jeffrey Brown - 2014
    Darth Vader's parenting skills are tested as young Luke and Leia won't go to sleep. Can he calm them by reading a story featuring, Han Solo, Yoda, Boba Fett, and others as they each settle down for the night?

A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo


Jill Twiss - 2018
    Meet Marlon Bundo, a lonely bunny who lives with his Grampa, Mike Pence - the Vice President of the United States. But on this Very Special Day, Marlon's life is about to change forever... With its message of tolerance and advocacy, this charming children's book explores issues of same sex marriage and democracy. Sweet, funny, and beautifully illustrated, this book is dedicated to every bunny who has ever felt different. 100% of Last Week Tonight's proceeds will be donated to The Trevor Project and AIDS United.

The Vicar of Nibbleswicke


Roald Dahl - 1991
    I am the new rotsap of Nibbleswicke. Dog help me!"The Reverend Lee is suffering from a rare and acutely embarrassing condition: Back-to-Front Dyslexia. It affects only his speech, and he doesn't realize he's doing it, but the parishioners of Nibbleswicke are shocked and confused by seemingly outrageous comments.At last a cure is found and the mild-mannered vicar can resume normal service. Or at least as normal as is possible for a man who must walk backwards to be sure of taking forwards!A highly comic tale in the best Dahl tradition of craziness, written for the benefit of the Dyslexia Institute.

The Composer Is Dead


Lemony Snicket - 2009
    Where exactly were the violins on the night in question? Did anyone see the harp? Is the trumpet protesting a bit too boisterously?In this perplexing murder mystery, everyone seems to have a motive, everyone has an alibi, and nearly everyone is a musical instrument. But the composer is still dead.Perhaps you can solve the crime yourself. Join the Inspector as he interrogates all the unusual suspects. Then listen to the accompanying audio recording featuring Lemony Snicket and the music of Nathaniel Stookey performed by the San Francisco Symphony. Hear for yourself exactly what took place on that fateful, well-orchestrated evening.

The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics


Norton Juster - 1963
    But the dot, though perfect in every way, only had eyes for a wild and unkempt squiggle. All of the line's romantic dreams were in vain, until he discovered...angles! Now, with newfound self-expression, he can be anything he wants to be--a square, a triangle, a parallelogram....And that's just the beginning!First published in 1963 and made into an Academy Award-winning animated short film, here is a supremely witty love story with a twist that reveals profound truths about relationships--both human and mathematical--sure to tickle lovers of all ages.

George and Martha: The Complete Stories of Two Best Friends


James Marshall - 1972
    George and Martha: not, as one might think, the first president and his spouse, but two hippopotamuses created by the singular talent of James Marshall. For the past quarter century, these stories have entertained, intrigued, and delighted readers of all ages. The portly animals have also taught us, in a humorous and lighthearted way, about what it means to be a true friend. A man with a talent for friendship, James Marshall defined its very essence in his stories about the world's two best friends. In this volume, all thirty-five episodes are brought together to celebrate friendship and two of the most lovable book characters ever created.

The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip


George Saunders - 2000
    In the seaside village of Frip live three families: the Romos, the Ronsens, and a little girl named Capable and her father. The economy of Frip is based solely on goat’s milk, and this is a problem because the village is plagued by gappers: bright orange, many-eyed creatures the size of softballs that love to attach themselves to goats. When a gapper gets near a goat, it lets out a high-pitched shriek of joy that puts the goats off giving milk, which means that every few hours the children of Frip have to go outside, brush the gappers off their goats, and toss them into the sea. The gappers have always been everyone’s problem, until one day they get a little smarter, and instead of spreading out, they gang up: on Capable’s goats. Free at last of the tyranny of the gappers, will her neighbors rally to help her? Or will they turn their backs, forcing Capable to bear the misfortune alone? Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious illustrations by Lane Smith and a brilliant story by George Saunders that explores universal themes of community and kindness, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a rich and resonant story for those that have all and those that have not.

Halloween


Jerry Seinfeld - 2002
    A humorous tale about the Halloween experience as remembered by the author himself, from bad trick-or-treat candy to pajama-like costumes, enhanced with vibrant illustrations.

Shrek!


William Steig - 1990
    Shrek, a horrid little ogre, goes out into the world to find adventure and along the way encounters a witch, a knight in armor, a dragon, and, finally, a hideous princess, who's even uglier than he is!