Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys


Dan Kindlon - 1999
    They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys.Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.

Positive Discipline


Jane Nelsen - 1981
    Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside you’ll discover how to• bridge communication gaps• defuse power struggles• avoid the dangers of praise• enforce your message of love• build on strengths, not weaknesses• hold children accountable with their self-respect intact• teach children not what to think but how to think• win cooperation at home and at school• meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior“It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific, Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you.”–Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!Millions of children have already benefited from the counsel in this wise and warmhearted book, which features dozens of true stories of positive discipline in action. Give your child the tools he or she needs for a well-adjusted life with this proven treasure trove of practical advice.

The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed


Jessica Lahey - 2014
    As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well-being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help their children succeed.

The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being


Simone Davies - 2018
    Toddlers can be tricky. On one hand they can be lovely. On the other hand they can be really hard work. They'll make you laugh. And they will probably bring you to tears. Or at least a high level of frustration.I felt the same way when my children were small and I was struggling to get them to do things. I felt enormous empathy for them, but wasn’t sure what the alternative was to threatening, bribing or putting them into time out.It’s been my mission since then to find another way. I’ve now been working in Montessori education for nearly 15 years and love to learn from the 100 toddlers and parents I see every week in my classroom. I am so happy to share with you what I have learned and help you understand your toddler better too.This book is the result. Your comprehensive guide to raising toddlers in a Montessori way.A quick aside for those of you that don't know Montessori. It is an alternative education system where, instead of the teacher standing at the front of the classroom telling the kids what they need to know, the children are free to explore a classroom of well-designed materials covering language, mathematics, daily life skills and more. The result is that the children are able to follow their unique natural rhythm and development as well as learn with concrete learning materials to make discoveries for themselves. But that's it. It's not just for school aged children - you can apply exactly the same ideas in your home and with your toddler.And when I say toddler, I'm talking about children around 1 to 3 years, give or take a few months.Each section of the book is super practical and it is beautifully designed to make it even easier to read. It’s perfect if you are a busy parent, carer or even grandparent. And it doesn't matter if you are brand new to Montessori or have been using Montessori for a while - or even if you aren't planning to send your children to Montessori school. You can read it from cover to cover. Or just open up the book at a page that interests you and you will find something practical you can try today.You’ll learn how to set up your home to get rid of the chaos and bring back some calm into your lives. You will get the tools to work together with your child. How you can lead, guide and support them, especially when they are having a hard time (and throwing themselves on the ground in the most inconvenient of places). You’ll also get ideas to create Montessori activities at home that are just right for your toddler. You will find answers to your questions. To see there is another more peaceful way to be with your toddler. To help you plant the seeds to raise a respectful and responsible human being. To work on a relationship with your toddler which you will be building on for years.So are you ready to say goodbye to frustration and hello to peace and calm? It’s time for us to learn to see through our toddler’s eyes - The Montessori Toddler.

All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood


Jennifer Senior - 2014
    Award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior now asks: what are the effects of children on their parents?"All Joy and No Fun is an indispensable map for a journey that most of us take without one. Brilliant, funny, and brimming with insight, this is an important book that every parent should read, and then read again. Jennifer Senior is surely one of the best writers on the planet."-Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on HappinessIn All Joy and No Fun, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior isolates and analyzes the many ways in which children reshape their parents' lives, whether it's their marriages, their jobs, their habits, their hobbies, their friendships, or their internal senses of self. She argues that changes in the last half century have radically altered the roles of today's mothers and fathers, making their mandates at once more complex and far less clear. Recruiting from a wide variety of sources-in history, sociology, economics, psychology, philosophy, and anthropology-she dissects both the timeless strains of parenting and the ones that are brand new, and then brings her research to life in the homes of ordinary parents around the country. The result is an unforgettable series of family portraits, starting with parents of young children and progressing to parents of teens. Through lively and accessible storytelling, Senior follows these mothers and fathers as they wrestle with some of parenthood's deepest vexations-and luxuriate in some of its finest rewards.Meticulously researched yet imbued with emotional intelligence, All Joy and No Fun makes us reconsider some of our culture's most basic beliefs about parenthood, all while illuminating the profound ways children deepen and add purpose to our lives. By focusing on parenthood, rather than parenting, the book is original and essential reading for mothers and fathers of today-and tomorrow.

Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life


Stuart Shanker - 2016
    Rooted in decades of clinical practice and research by leading child psychologist Dr. Stuart Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous system's way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the "hidden stressors" that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing is seeing our children as lacking self-control or will-power, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress.Self-regulation can dramatically improve a child's mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy and to develop the sorts of virtues that every parent knows are vital for their child's long-term well-being. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues to mature throughout life. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children how to do the same for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth as well as for overall well-being.

Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World


Deborah Reber - 2018
    Their challenges are many. But for the parents who love them, the challenges are just as hard—struggling to find the right school, the right therapist, the right parenting group while feeling isolated and harboring endless internal doubts about what’s normal, what’s not, and how to handle it all. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a bestselling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and the best kind of been-there, done-that companion. On the one hand it’s a book of saying NO, and how it’s time to say no to trying to fit your round-peg kid into society’s square holes, no to educational and social systems that don’t respect your child, no to the anxiety and fear that keep parents stuck. And then it’s a book of YES. By offering 18 paradigm shifts—what she calls “tilts”— Reber shows how to change everything. How to “Get Out of Isolation and Connect.” “Stop Fighting Who Your Child Is and Lean In.” “Let Go of What Others Think.” “Create a World Where Your Child Can Feel Secure.” “Find Your People (and Ditch the Rest).” “Help Your Kids Embrace Self-Discovery.” And through these alternative ways of being, discover how to stay open, pay attention, and become an exceptional parent to your exceptional child.

Glow Kids: How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids -- And How to Break the Trance


Nicholas Kardaras - 2016
    Like a virtual scourge, the illuminated glowing faces―the Glow Kids―are multiplying. But at what cost? Is this just a harmless indulgence or fad like some sort of digital hula-hoop? Some say that glowing screens might even be good for kids―a form of interactive educational tool.Don’t believe it.In Glow Kids, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras will examine how technology―more specifically, age-inappropriate screen tech, with all of its glowing ubiquity―has profoundly affected the brains of an entire generation. Brain imaging research is showing that stimulating glowing screens are as dopaminergic (dopamine activating) to the brain’s pleasure center as sex. And a growing mountain of clinical research correlates screen tech with disorders like ADHD, addiction, anxiety, depression, increased aggression, and even psychosis. Most shocking of all, recent brain imaging studies conclusively show that excessive screen exposure can neurologically damage a young person’s developing brain in the same way that cocaine addiction can.Kardaras will dive into the sociological, psychological, cultural, and economic factors involved in the global tech epidemic with one major goal: to explore the effect all of our wonderful shiny new technology is having on kids. Glow Kids also includes an opt-out letter and a "quiz" for parents in the back of the book.

The Enchanted Hour: The Miraculous Power of Reading Aloud in the Age of Distraction


Meghan Cox Gurdon - 2019
    Grounded in the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, and drawing widely from literature, The Enchanted Hour explains the dazzling cognitive and social-emotional benefits that await children, whatever their class, nationality or family background. But it’s not just about bedtime stories for little kids: Reading aloud consoles, uplifts and invigorates at every age, deepening the intellectual lives and emotional well-being of teenagers and adults, too.Meghan Cox Gurdon argues that this ancient practice is a fast-working antidote to the fractured attention spans, atomized families and unfulfilling ephemera of the tech era, helping to replenish what our devices are leaching away. For everyone, reading aloud engages the mind in complex narratives; for children, it’s an irreplaceable gift that builds vocabulary, fosters imagination, and kindles a lifelong appreciation of language, stories and pictures.Bringing together the latest scientific research, practical tips, and reading recommendations, The Enchanted Hour will both charm and galvanize, inspiring readers to share this invaluable, life-altering tradition with the people they love most.

Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder


Gabor Maté - 1999
    With wisdom gained through years of medical practice and research, Scattered Minds is a must-read for parents – and for anyone interested how experiences in infancy shape the biology and psychology of the human brain.Scattered Minds:- Demonstrates that ADD is not an inherited illness, but a reversible impairment and developmental delay- Explains that in ADD, circuits in the brain whose job is emotional self-regulation and attention control fail to develop in infancy – and why- Shows how ‘distractibility’ is the psychological product of life experience- Allows parents to understand what makes their ADD children tick, and adults with ADD to gain insights into their emotions and behaviours- Expresses optimism about neurological development even in adulthood- Presents a programme of how to promote this development in both children and adults

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting


Laura Markham - 2012
    Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood


Edward M. Hallowell - 1992
    Discusses the causes, symptoms, and treatment of attention-deficit Disorder (ADD).

Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected


Susan Stiffelman - 2009
    But let's face it: family life can get downright crazy, and it's at those moments that we most need to keep our cool. Family therapist Susan Stiffelman has shown thousands of parents how to be the cool, confident "Captain of the ship" in their children's lives. Based on her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Susan shares proven strategies and crystal clear insights to motivate kids to cooperate and connect. Parenting without Power Struggles is an extraordinary guidebook for transforming your day-to-day parenting life. You'll discover how to: • Transform frustration and aggression into adaptation and cooperation • Keep your cool when your kids push your buttons, talk back or refuse to "play nice" • Nourish deep attachment with young and older kids • Help your ADD'ish child survive and thrive, even if you’re ADD'ish yourself • Inoculate your kids from negative thinking and peer pressure that lead to anger, anxiety, depression, or behavior issues • Help children manage the emotional challenges of divorce

Thirty Million Words: Building a Child's Brain


Dana Suskind - 2015
    The children who heard more words were better prepared when they entered school. These same kids, when followed into third grade, had bigger vocabularies, were stronger readers, and got higher test scores. This disparity in learning is referred to as the achievement gap.Professor Dana Suskind, MD, learned of this thirty million word gap in the course of her work as a cochlear implant surgeon at University of Chicago Medical School and began a new research program along with her sister-in-law, Beth Suskind, to find the best ways to bridge that gap. The Thirty Million Word Initiative has developed programs for parents to show the kind of parent-child communication that enables optimal neural development and has tested the programs in and around Chicago across demographic groups. They boil down to getting parents to follow the three Ts: Tune in to what your child is doing; Talk more to your child using lots of descriptive words; and Take turns with your child as you engage in conversation. Parents are shown how to make the words they serve up more enriching. For example, instead of telling a child, “Put your shoes on,” one might say instead, “It is time to go out. What do we have to do?” The lab's new five-year longitudinal research program has just received funding so they can further corroborate their results. The neuroscience of brain plasticity is some of the most valuable and revolutionary medical science being done today. It enables us to think and do better. It is making a difference in the lives of both the old and young.  If you care for children, this landmark book is essential reading.

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success


Julie Lythcott-Haims - 2015
    While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings-and of special value to parents of teens-this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence."Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure. . . . A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." -Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times bestsellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well"For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." -Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times bestsellers Drive and A Whole New Mind