Perfect Sound Whatever


James Acaster - 2019
    Thinking this is his rock bottom, little does James know that by the end of the year he will have befouled himself in a Los Angeles steakhouse and disrespected a pensioner on television. Luckily, there is one thing he can rely on for comfort – music. In true Acaster fashion, this ends up with a completely unnecessary mission: to buy as much music as he can released in 2016, the year before everything went wrong (for James, at least). Some albums are life-changing masterpieces, others are ‘Howdilly Doodilly’ by Okilly Dokilly, a metalcore album devoted to The Simpsons character Ned Flanders. But all of them play a part in the year that James gets his life back on track.In PERFECT SOUND WHATEVER, James takes us through the music of 2016, the bullshit of 2017, and how the beauty of one defeated the ugliness of the other. He will also reveal how he stole a cookie from Clint Eastwood and attempted to complete his musical odyssey by reforming one of Kettering’s most overlooked bands.

Arc Of A Shooting Star


Simon Northouse - 2018
    It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?

The Longest Crawl: Being an Account of a Journey Through an Intoxicated Landscape or a Child's Treasury of Booze


Ian Marchant - 2006
    Chesterton, the act of getting to and from a pub is central to an understanding of British life and landscape. So bon viveur, pub singer and writer Ian Marchant set off with photographer Perry Venus on a gruelling month long British pub crawl, to go to and from a lot of pubs in order to test Chesterton's hypothesis.

Lush: A True Story, Soaked in Gin


Gabrielle Fernie - 2018
    Very rich and providing great sensory pleasure (Oxford English Dictionary)n. A habitual drunkard (Oxford English Dictionary)'Arms linked, just as we did when we were seventeen, we teeter our way to the club, pausing to tug Emma's stiletto out of a drain cover and sling our empty wine bottle into the bin. For the first time in a long while I feel truly happy. I want to be standing arm-in-arm with my best friend, both completely pole-axed, for the rest of my days. And then it comes to me, with a stab: this is possibly our last night out together as free women...'Gabby and Emma have been best friends since primary school in Wales. Emma has a stable job, a nice home and has just got engaged. Gabby has had a succession of disastrous one-night-stands and five awful jobs since drama school . . . and she has just been diagnosed with scurvy. She has one year until the wedding to pull herself together and prove to her friends and family that she can be a proper grown-up.Described by Caitlin Moran as 'filthy, immoral and incredibly funny', Gabrielle Fernie's blog, loveisa4letterturd.com, catalogued her life as a struggling actress with a taste for gin. Here, in her first book, she shares more of her most raucous stories with eye-watering honesty. It is a refreshing, frank and laugh-out-loud account of a young woman trying to find her place in the world; ultimately realising that it's fine to play at being an adult until she properly figures it out.

Life & Laughing: My Story


Michael McIntyre - 2010
    His debut stand-up DVD was the fastest selling of all time, only to be eclipsed by his second that sold over 1.4 million copies and was the 2009 Christmas number one. He hosts his own BAFTA nominated BBC1 series, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, and won the British Comedy Award for Best Live Stand-up in 2009 following his record breaking fifty-four date Arena tour.But how did he get there?Michael reveals all in his remarkably honest and hilarious autobiography Life and Laughing. His showbiz roots, his appalling attempts to attract the opposite sex, his fish-out-of-water move from public to state school and his astonishing journey from selling just one ticket at the Edinburgh Festival to selling half a million tickets on his last tour. Michael’s story is riveting, poignant, romantic and above all very, very funny.

I Wouldn't Start From Here: A Misguided Tour of the Early 21st Century


Andrew Mueller - 2007
     I Wouldn't Start From Here is his random history of the 21st century so far, and all its attendant absurdities, intermittent horrors and occasional glimmers of hope. It features gunfights, car chases and gaol cells, any number of exotic locations, and a cast which includes revolutionaries, rock stars, politicians, hitmen, warmongers and peacemakers.Whether ducking for cover in Gaza, running roadblocks in Iraq, attempting to have fun in Luxembourg, or trying to buy Colonel Gadaffi T-shirts in Tripoli, Mueller is a man in search of an answer to perhaps the crucial question of our time: "What is it with these people?""Mueller's prose is as spectacular as a Taliban attack on Lollapalooza" (PJ O'Rourke)

Mrs Brown's Family Handbook


Brendan O'Carroll - 2013
    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

Damn Right I'm From Cleveland: Your Guide to Makin' It in America's 47th Biggest City


Mike Polk Jr. - 2012
    has received more than 50 million views on YouTube alone for his witty Internet videos ("Hastily Made Tourism Video," "Cleveland Browns: Factory of Sadness," and others). Now he delivers the same wicked sense of humor in a book.This hilarious rustbelt satire lampoons Cleveland's quirks, including our boundless obsession with crappy sports teams, the nonstop quest to reinvent our civic image, and a grab-bag collection of odd local celebrities.Polk tackles such timely topics as: Great Places to Take a Dump Downtown . . . Riding the RTA: A Fascinating Cultural Experience . . . A Cleveland Enemies Hall of Fame . . . A Comparison of Three Area Gentlemen's Clubs . . . A Fabulous Remake of Cleveland's Own Flag . . . and much more.Full color photos throughout.

Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality


Jacob Tomsky - 2012
    Jacob Tomsky never intended to go into the hotel business. As a new college graduate, armed only with a philosophy degree and a singular lack of career direction, he became a valet parker for a large luxury hotel in New Orleans. Yet, rising fast through the ranks, he ended up working in “hospitality” for more than a decade, doing everything from supervising the housekeeping department to manning the front desk at an upscale Manhattan hotel. He’s checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room-service meals, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late checkout, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&M's out of your minibar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. In Heads in Beds he pulls back the curtain to expose the crazy and compelling reality of a multi-billion-dollar industry we think we know. Heads in Beds is a funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life, told by a keenly observant insider who’s seen it all. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on in the valet parking garage, the housekeeping department’s dirty little secrets—not to mention the shameless activities of the guests, who are rarely on their best behavior. Prepare to be moved, too, by his candor about what it’s like to toil in a highly demanding service industry at the luxury level, where people expect to get what they pay for (and often a whole lot more). Employees are poorly paid and frequently abused by coworkers and guests alike, and maintaining a semblance of sanity is a daily challenge.Along his journey Tomsky also reveals the secrets of the industry, offering easy ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle. This book (and a timely proffered twenty-dollar bill) will help you score late checkouts and upgrades, get free stuff galore, and make that pay-per-view charge magically disappear. Thanks to him you’ll know how to get the very best service from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, you will keep the bellmen from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and bashing it against the wall repeatedly.

How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet


Michael Cunningham - 2020
    And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

Sons of Anarchy and Philosophy: Brains Before Bullets


George A. Dunn - 2013
    "Brains before bullets" - ancient and modern wisdom for "mechanics and motorcycle enthusiasts"Essential reading for fans of the show, this book takes readers deeper into the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, the Teller-Morrow family, and the ethics that surround their lives and activities.Provides fascinating moral insights into Sons of Anarchy, its key characters, plot lines and ideas Investigates compelling philosophical issues centering on loyalty, duty, the ethics of war, authority, religion and whether the ends justify the means Teaches complex philosophical ideas in a way that's accessible to the general interest reader in order to inspire them to further reading of the great philosophers Authors use their deep knowledge of the show to illuminate themes that are not always apparent even to die-hard fans

Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life


Joe Lycett - 2016
    We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companiesAND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x * If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit


Steve Stack - 2007
    It will cheer up even the most miserable of old gits.

Our Man in Orlando


Hugh Hunter - 2010
    Many of these stories never made it back home - until now.

I Just Made The Tea: A lifetime in the Formula 1 pitlane


Di Spires - 2012
    In all that time she ran the team motorhome for a succession of different teams, including Lotus in the Senna era and Benetton in the Schumacher era. Her memoir looks at Formula 1 from an unusual viewpoint. As well as Formula 1 people, she has encountered personalities from every walk of life, from royalty to criminals on the run. Her stories range from the hilarious to the tragic and provide a unique insight. This is a fast-paced read packed with surprising snippets and observations, with plenty of intimate insight into what the drivers are really like.